Have you ever done something you thought was insignificant, but then realized it had a huge effect on someone? I love helping people and I am convinced that sometimes tiny gestures yield huge results. Here are a few examples.

Give a compliment

Compliments are so easy to sprinkle around, but it requires us to interact sometimes with strangers and we are sometimes understandably hesitant to do that, so do it when you feel safe. A compliment can turn someone’s day around and it may be something she remembers long after that moment. I was in the grocery store today and there was a beautiful older woman in front of me. She had bright blue eyes and snow-white hair that was styled like a man’s crew cut. I told her I loved her hair. Her husband found me later in the store and thanked me for the compliment. He said she is recovering from cancer, and no one besides him has called her beautiful in a while.

Smile

I don’t know what it is about a smile, but when someone smiles at you, it makes you feel good as if you are special enough for the person to take the time to smile at you.

Do at least one act of kindness

Paying for a coffee for the person behind you, holding doors for the mom with a stroller, bringing a meal to someone who is struggling, or surprising someone with a gas or grocery card are all ways to show some extra kindness.

Mow a yard

Do you have an elderly neighbor who needs some yard work done? Help out in the yard.

Babysit for a mom

Moms need a break sometimes. Volunteer to watch the kids for an hour.

It doesn’t take a lot to make a huge difference. Have fun lifting up some people.

Making excuses is like taking drugs, it’s an attempt to push aside reality while making the reality even worse. Excuse makers start with complaints about what they are struggling with in life, they will explain to you why they are the victim, and they will explain why there is no possible solution to their issues. If you are an excuse maker, here are some reasons you should switch to being an action taker.

Making excuses will hold you back. You cannot grow if you don’t take any action to change your situation.

If you have the courage to make your life better, you could inspire someone else to do the same.

Everyone has failed at something, so don’t worry that you might stumble, or be judged. Be transparent and ask for help.

The negativity that surrounds excuses will eat away at your mental health until your situation becomes even worse.

You are the main person that excuses hurt as you run away from the truth. Take the initiative to be an advocate for yourself. The changes have to start with you.

People will be more attracted to being around you if you are taking positive steps toward happiness. Negativity can be draining, and most people don’t want to be around it for long.

You can attract as much attention if you talk about the positive aspects of your life as you can by talking about the negative.

If your situation seems too overwhelming, reach out for help instead of assuming there is no solution.

Kick the excuses to the door and start living the extraordinary life that you have the right to have.

As a runner, I have always been fascinated by the way the body works. I have experimented with the best ways to eat and hydrate, including trial and error with products until I found the ones that work best for me. I have been consistent with my training, logging in thirty to forty miles each week and incorporating strength training and walking and biking. I am in good shape, so I was surprised to find myself in a hospital last Saturday.

I was in Santa Rosa, Florida with my daughter and twelve other ladies on a mom’s retreat. Saturday morning a yoga instructor was meeting everyone at 7:30 at the house to go for yoga on the beach. I told my daughter I was going for a quick run, but I would be back by 7:30 to walk the beach while they did yoga.

I went for a two-mile run and I felt great. It was muggy, but I’m used to running in humidity, and the heat wasn’t bothering me. I was enjoying looking at everything around me. As I came close to the house, a woman stopped me to ask for directions. I still felt great. When I finished speaking with the woman, I turned to run the short distance to the house, and I thought I was going to pass out. I sat down thinking the feeling would pass, but it didn’t. My next thought was I need to get inside in case I do pass out. I opened the door to the pool and sat down and told everyone I didn’t feel well. I still was sure I would feel better in a minute.

I went with the women down to the beach, and I couldn’t get my breath. I sat while they were doing yoga thinking that something was seriously wrong, and I wasn’t sure I was going to make it back to the house. I started praying and asking God to help me with whatever was going on.

When the yoga was done, my daughter took one look at me and told me we were going to urgent care who called the ambulance. After several EKGs, they told me I had a heart flutter. The doctor began explaining it to me as well as all the possible treatments. I know it is a terrible attitude, but all I heard was limitations, as I wondered if I could keep running. I was surprised when the doctor cleared me to run, as long as I was taking a beta-blocker, but I cannot do the ultra I was supposed to do next Saturday. Here is what I learned about my condition. I hope you will be smarter than me, and not wait two hours to go to the hospital if you have these symptoms.

Atrial flutter

Atrial flutter is a type of abnormal heart rhythm. The heart has an electrical system that tells it how to beat. In atrial flutter, the signals move rapidly in the top chambers of the heart. This makes your heartbeat very fast. The goal of treatment is to prevent blood clots from forming and control your heart rate.

The symptoms are a racing heart, shortness of breath, chest pain, feeling dizzy, and fatigue. I had all of those, but I never had chest pain, it just felt tight, and I was not tired.

I am heading to the cardiologist and praying for some answers. If you have any of the symptoms of the heart flutter, I hope you will seek medical attention, and I would love to hear from anyone who has this condition.

The people who know my passion for running will think this article is about recovering physically, but although that is important, I also know that healing mentally is vital as well. We need to be strong both mentally and physically and when one is out of balance, the other is thrown off as well. No matter what your story is, our day-to-day lives are demanding and sometimes we need to take a step back, regroup, reflect, and renew in order to heal and regain that balance.

On a regular day, we interact with all kinds of personalities, we solve problems, we are creative and innovative and by the end of the day, it can sometimes feel as if we have been through a battle. There has to be some time to recover from our daily struggle.

I love being around people and as a teacher, I am often surrounded by a certain amount of chaos. I spend the day hearing my name called a million times and I love it, but when I come home, I need some quiet. I love the peacefulness when there is no noise, no one who needs me, and no need to speak.

We need quiet time to process everything we have experienced during the day. One of my favorite ways to renew is to go out on our porch and listen to the sounds of the neighborhood. It is a time when I don’t have to answer a question or solve a problem. I can renew in other ways as well whether I take a walk, read, write, cook, or do something else that is soothing. When I make this renewal a regular practice, it changes my attitude towards everything else I do.

Being in nature can be restorative. I love being outside because it always seems to energize and calm me at the same time. It is difficult to feel anxious when we are surrounded by such beauty. Taking a walk or a bike ride or sitting outside will lift your spirits.

Reduce the stimulation around you for at least thirty minutes each day. Put your phone away, turn off any other technology and give yourself some time to disconnect.

On the occasional bad day, we all need some time to recover from mistakes we made or unkind words that may have been said. Use positive self-talk, give yourself some grace, learn from any mistakes, and apologize when it is necessary.

We also need to take time to heal our souls. Life can become so busy that we forget how important it is to grow spiritually. We need time to read the Bible and pray.

Music can be a great way to heal. Find your favorite music and relax and listen. On a recent trip with two friends, we listened to the music we had grown up with and swapped funny stories from our childhood.

Reading is another way to destress. I can become completely lost in a story and forget about time as I follow the characters through the plot. I can leave my reality for a short time and immerse myself in someone else’s adventure.

Spending time with animals has always been a great way to decompress for me. Animals love you completely and they crave spending time with you. Our next-door neighbor has a dog that acts as if he is over the moon to see you to the point that he will start to howl, and even though I know he acts that way to almost everyone, it still lifts my spirits.

Cooking has always been a way to relax for me even though I am not a very good cook. There is something comforting about being in the kitchen where we produce and consume the food we need to survive. Have you ever noticed that when you have guests over, everyone gravitates to the kitchen?

Sometimes the best answer to being worn out mentally and physically is to curl up and catch up on sleep. A good nap on a rainy day can make you forget any troubles you may have.

Practicing gratitude is an important exercise in healing. List all the things you are thankful for, and any problems you encountered during the day start to fade away. Realizing all of your blessings instead of focusing on burdens will make you feel better.

My friends will not think I wrote this unless I mention that running for me is the ultimate escape. When I am running, I feel such a sense of peace, as if any stress is just falling off behind me. I can work out problems, generate ideas or simply listen to music. Running is what I turn to first when my emotions are out of balance. If running is not your sport choose anything that is an active activity.

Find the activities that you need that will help you relax, reflect and renew. It does not matter what the activity is as long as it is one that will help you when you take time to heal.

There are healthy ways to relax like exercise, gardening, reading, listening to music, laughing with friends, watching a movie, taking a nap, playing with an animal, or sitting on the porch and enjoying the quiet. All of those have the potential to renew you after a long day, but there is another very common practice we use to relax that can be dangerous.

Many of us use nicotine or alcohol to relax and if used in moderation, there would probably not be a problem. The issue though is when one drink or cigarette turns into several and continues to grow until you are dependent on what you used to see as a pleasant decompressor. I am not trying to be preachy, but I would love to help someone else avoid what I saw happen to two people I love.

My sister used to have a glass of wine after dinner, but the one glass gradually became a bottle as she was faced with breast cancer, divorce, and the loss of her partner. It happened over a long period of time, and by the time we realized how much she was drinking daily, she was completely dependent but refused to admit there was a problem.

My mom smoked her whole life, but I think she always thought she could stop whenever she wanted. Having a cigarette now and then turned into chain-smoking and she died of emphysema. She used to smoke a cigarette with her oxygen tank on which could have caused an explosion.

If you use substances to relax, be careful that instead of relaxing, you are trying to medicate yourself to avoid the roller coaster ride of life. Addiction can sneak up on you until instead of relaxing, you have another problem to worry about.

If you think you are alone in whatever you struggle with in life, I assure you that you are not. If you are hoping that no one ever finds out your family secrets because you think you will be judged, I need to tell you that most people have the same struggles or worse than what you are experiencing.

The best thing you can do is share what you are going through with someone you trust or with a professional because a burden is lighter when more than one person helps to carry it. Hiding it, making excuses, and worrying will chip away at your mental health until your issues are even bigger than they were before.

I have noticed that when a group of people is together for an extended period, the issues start to leak out as soon as people have read the room and deemed it safe to share. In any group of people, you will find at least some of the following: marriage struggles including issues with age differences, a controlling partner, infidelity, multiple divorces, alcoholism, single parenting, serious health issues, children with special needs, anxiety, and depression. These are just a few of the issues that come up in a group.

We are so much better together than we are alone, and when we are facing the struggles in life, it is easier to do it head-on like the warriors we need to be when we are surrounded by kindness, and friends that are willing to accept us with all our bumps and bruises instead of judging us for our flaws and burdens. If you know a single parent is going through cancer treatment while also caring for children, step in and offer help, if a neighbor has lost a job, collect money, and leave an anonymous donation, or make the neighbor meals, offer to spend a few minutes talking with an elderly neighbor. There are so many easy ways to help people with their burdens. I used to have a sign in my classroom that said, “You have no idea what the person next to you is going through. Be kind always.”

Is age just a number?

I love to people-watch because they fascinate me. I enjoy watching the interactions, and I am always interested in the stories of how people became who they are, and why they act the way they do whether that shows them at their best or on a bad day. One thing that disappoints me though is when I see someone who is allowing inactivity to age them too early or damage their health, or someone who is giving in to age.

Don’t focus on the negative aspects of aging

I don’t think we have to act our age. I hear people half my age complaining about getting old and how everything hurts. If we exercise, eat right, and take care of ourselves, we can live a vibrant life without having a number attached to our health. Don’t say things like “I’m getting old.” “I can’t do that because I’m too old.” The more you speak things, the more they come to pass.  

Use it or lose it

I have an amazing mother-in-law who is 84. She is a very talented artist and a phenomenal cook. Unfortunately, instead of having fun with those activities or finding other interests, she sits in a chair all day watching television. I mean she sits there non-stop, all day without any movement except to hobble to the bathroom or the kitchen. I also know a runner who is 84. She runs races all the time and is full of energy. Inactivity is a bad idea at any age. Your body needs movement to stay healthy. Your mind needs to be stimulated to stay fresh as well.

Don’t let age stop you

Is there something you have always wanted to do, but you think you would look silly? I think you should go do it unless it’s super dangerous, then I think you should act your age! Think of all the fun you can have. Take music lessons, art classes, get a pilot’s license, whatever sounds fun to you. I started karate at 45, ran my first marathon the same year, had a baby at 43, ran my first ultra-marathon at 57, and I’m going to complete another one at 64 next week. If I can do it I guarantee almost everyone else can too.

If you gave someone the choice between doing something that would be easy and go smoothly or doing something difficult that would strain your mental and physical abilities, most people would probably want to choose the easier path. The truth is though that it is the harder moments in our lives that teach us the most. We have to learn resilience to rise back up from failure, and each difficult moment can teach us a little more. I often think of Robert Frost’s poem The Road Not Taken when he says, “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled, and that has made all the difference.”

What have the tough moments in your life been, and what have you learned from them?  Here are a few things that my tough moments have taught me.

When someone refuses to coddle you and expects you to be strong, you will rise to that expectation.

People who judge you often are the ones struggling the most in life. Be the best version of yourself and don’t worry about the haters.

Failure teaches you how deep you can dig to find what you need to rise up stronger.

Each setback can teach you a valuable lesson.

Help others to succeed and your failures fade away.

No matter how many times you fall down, keep finding a way to come back.

If you are soft and expect everything to be perfect, you will be disappointed.

There have been so many times when I have been thankful that something was difficult and that it made me stronger. Failure never feels good, but it makes us better.

Through the years, I have discovered certain things that have helped me with my health. I cannot guarantee that these will work for anyone else, but these are the healthy must-haves that I always have in my house.

Ginger candies

Ginger candies taste great, but they also calm your stomach. I found out about them from a veteran ultra-runner when I told him that I had to stop at my last ultra because my stomach was upset. I recently was recovering from a virus and although the fever was gone, my stomach felt unsettled. Four ginger candies later, my stomach felt great.

Probiotics

I started taking these years ago on the advice of a friend, and suddenly everyone was talking about the importance of gut health. When I go to the doctor’s office, I am always asked if I am taking probiotics.

Witch hazel

Witch hazel is good for everything from relieving hemorrhoids, to reducing eye puffiness. This is a must to have.

Vitamin C packets

Whenever I travel, I start taking extra vitamin C. I also take it at the first sign of a cold. I am not going down without a fight.

Zinc

Zinc is a proven cold fighter, so I always have some ready.

A tennis ball

Because I am so active, I need something to work on sore muscles. A tennis ball can be placed under any muscle while you put your weight on the tennis ball. It is great for sore shoulders. Put the tennis ball under the shoulder blade and move back and forth.

Essential oils

My massage therapist has taught me about oils throughout the years, and there are a few I use every day.

Lavender

I was starting to have tinnitus which is a ringing in the ears. I started to put some behind both ears before I went to bed, and I haven’t had any ringing in my ears since then. Lavender can also help you fall asleep.

Peppermint

I have migraines when the weather changes drastically, but when I put some peppermint oil on my forehead, it usually clears up. It is also good to clear congestion from a cold. Sprinkle some in your hand, and breathe it in. I used to have it in my classroom, and students would ask me if they could have some of the magic oil for their headaches. I also sprinkle it on my pillow at night because I love the smell.

Be careful not to get any in your eyes because it is so strong, it will be difficult to open your eyes. One day, I had put some on right before class and then forgotten it was on my fingers and cleaned up my eyeliner with my finger. I couldn’t open my eyes for five minutes! I also don’t think it is good for dogs.

Tea tree

This oil is great for your skin, especially if you have breakouts. I have had some issues with skin cancer, and I had a spot that would not heal. It has been shrinking since I have been using it.

K-T tape

I discovered this tape when I strained my knee and had to go to a physical trainer. The tape supports sore muscles and has properties that promote healing. Read the instructions for putting it on and taking it off.

Coffee

Hello, I am Jen and I’m addicted to coffee. I love everything about coffee, the smell, the taste, and the fact there is something comforting about it for me.

That is my short list of what I always have in the house. What would you add to the list?

I retired from teaching because my oldest was having a baby, and she asked me to retire so I could help her. I realized during the past year that there are quite a few different visions about what retirement is. Many see it as stopping everything. My youngest told me I wasn’t acting like a retired person. When I asked her what she thought I should be doing, she said I should be sitting around and taking naps. Others see it as a chance to travel and see the world. Some decide to try the career they always wanted to do, and some enjoy a quieter lifestyle and a chance to enjoy family. Retirement doesn’t have to be the same for everyone. It is your reward after years of hard work, and you can choose what you do with it. Here is what it has meant to me.

Family time

I had no idea my job had been taking me away from my family so much. I realize now that they each need me in a different way, and I am so grateful to have this time with them. I have had the chance to watch my grandson in his first year. I have watched the changes and become closer to my daughter as a result.

Freedom

When I wake up, I can choose what I want to do, and I can do it at my own speed. I don’t have to rush or feel stressed. If I want to go to lunch with family and friends, I don’t have to check my schedule.

Chase a dream

Writing as a career was not feasible economically when I was teaching, and it was difficult to find the time. I have the chance now to do something I have always wanted to try.

Running

Running is my medicine, but while teaching, I had to wake up at 4:30 to run before school. Now I can devote more time to what I love.

Rest

During my last year of teaching, I was tired all the time. I would come home and fall asleep on the sofa. I can rest whenever I need to now.

Reading

I take some time each day and curl up on the porch to read.

There are so many other things to add to the list, and when you retire, it is your list, not someone else’s.