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How a Growth Mindset Can Crush Your Goals

A growth mindset is when you realize you are not at the level where you want to be, but you maintain the attitude that you will eventually get there. Add the word yet to anything that falls short of your goals. An example would be instead of saying I cannot do 5 pushups, say I cannot do five pushups yet. There is a positive shift that says you might not be there yet, but you will be. It helps you to be patient in the knowledge that in time you can crush your goals.

Several months ago, I realized it was time to make some changes. I have been an avid runner all my life, but in the last year a knee injury caused me to stop running. I also was struggling with fatigue and a lack of motivation because I was on a beta blocker for AFIB. Until this point if I had an injury, I would be fighting back so I could run as soon as possible, but I didn’t have any energy and looking back I think I was depressed. All of this caused a domino effect where I lost my running strength, gained weight, stepped back from strength training and ended up with a pudge around my middle that I call my tire.

The breaking point came at an ultra-marathon where I did not do as well as I hoped. I turned to my husband and said, “This isn’t working, it’s time for a change.”   I decided to start running again but every other day and on the non-run days I would go to the gym and do the cardio machines. I knew I wouldn’t see results immediately, but I kept reminding myself that the end result would be work staying consistent and working hard.

Seeing results with my running was a very slow process. I wouldn’t let myself say anything negative but more than once I watched people running with ease and wondered if I would ever be able to do it again. I kept trying to walk less and run more and then today I went out and ran without feeling like it was a chore. I was so grateful I almost cried. I have lost four pounds by keeping my pulse in my cardio zone every day and I am watching the pudge disappear.

I hope whatever your goal is you will make a plan, implement it consistently, give yourself grace, be patient, and believe that you can crush any goal you attempt.

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Advice for My Grandson

My grandson recently turned five. That means he has left the unfettered bliss of toddlerhood and graduated towards responsibilities and expectations. Kindergarten looms on the horizon and before I know it his friends will be so much more important to him than I am. As he heads off towards a new era, what advice would I offer him? Here are a few pearls of wisdom I hope would help him.

  • Never forget how loved you are. Wear it like armor when anyone is hateful and doesn’t see your light.
  • Always be kind to others.
  • Avoid confrontation but defend yourself when needed.
  • Read as much as possible.
  • Play in the rain unless there is thunder then run inside.
  • Soak up summer, swim, ride bikes, watch fireflies, and stay outside past dark.
  • Guard your peace.
  • Imperfection is interesting.
  • Don’t make comparisons.
  • Be transparent.
  • Listen fully.
  • Make health a priority.
  • You are responsible for your happiness.
  • Let others solve their issues.
  • Don’t chase after someone who doesn’t want to be chased.
  • Don’t wait until the perfect time.
  • You have value.
  • Avoid toxicity.
  • Failure teaches you more.
  • Fear is a dream killer.
  • Say no more without feeling guilty.
  • See the value in doing nothing.
  • Love unconditionally.
  • Follow your dreams and passions.
  • Block out negativity.
  • Follow the light.
  • Have a positive attitude.
  • Laugh often
  • Help people.
  • Always have an animal.
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How to Tell If You Are a Good Writer

How to Tell If You Are a Good Writer

Even the best writers have moments when they wonder if their writing is good enough. How do you know if your hard work is something that others will like? You might be discouraged when the numbers don’t come out the way you hoped, but building an audience can take time and patience, so you cannot always judge your success that way. Here are a few ideas that will prove you are on the right track.

You interact with your audience

When I first started vending my books at the local craft market, I often struggled to sell even enough to make the market fee. One day my husband asked me what I was hoping to accomplish at the market because I wasn’t making much of a profit. I explained to him that although I would love to sell more books, interacting with the people at the market was more important. I was making connections, building trust, and listening to people who needed to talk. I now have repeat customers and children who have purchased a book come running up to my booth to see if I have anything new.

Online, you can interact with your readers and don’t forget to interact with the readers of other writers. We can learn so much from each other as an online community.

 You make your audience feel something

Someone at the market asked me what I wanted to do with my writing. I said I wanted to help my readers and I want them to feel something. My first children’s book is about what you would like your child or grandchild to have in life. I have had several women cry when they start reading it. I don’t want anyone to cry, but I’m glad my words can bring out emotions.

You help your readers

We have all had some difficult moments or become good at doing something. Your wisdom or skill could help someone else.

You are consistent

Being consistent means, you have prioritized your writing, you are working on your craft, and when you show up every day so will your audience.

You are authentic and inspire trust

Readers want writers who are real people not someone hiding behind a mask. It’s ok to show your weaknesses. You might help someone else by being transparent.

You believe in quality work

A good writer polishes the writing until it is the best you can produce.

You love to write and can’t imagine not doing it

If writing is a passion and you know you will continue to do it even if the numbers say you should throw in the towel then if you aren’t already a good writer, you will be someday.

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Be Patient with Your Writing

I hope writing is as much of a passion for you as it is for me. Ideas hop into my brain continuously and I cannot wait to put them onto paper. I am impatient by nature, so I needed to learn to slow down with my writing process. Here are the reasons why writers should be patient with their writing.

Slow down with how you build your piece

The process that works best for me is to use a whiteboard and brainstorm some ideas about what I want to say. I’ll put down major points and add some ideas that come from those major points. Having the chance for freethinking and making an outline gives my writing more structure. I also find my best ideas come while I’m running, so I come in and jot the thoughts down.

Don’t publish right away

Sometimes I am in too much of a hurry to publish and if I took more time to research or reflect on the topic, the article would be better.

Edit more than once

It’s normal to want to send your writing to your audience, but you need to send them quality material, so do your best to give them your best.

Know when to take a break

I have had times when I have a great idea but at a certain point I hit a wall and cannot think of a path to take to finish it. Take a break, go for a walk, take a nap, and come back fresh.

Don’t force your pen

I have been working on a book that is very important to me, but I cannot move forward with it. I feel completely blocked. I am just going to have to take it a step at a time and pray that everything flows.

Give yourself grace

You have a gift and you should use it consistently, but there may be times when you need to step back and rest. When you start again you will probably come back stronger.

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10 Mistakes Writers Make and How to Avoid Them

We all make mistakes along our writing journey, but hopefully we learn and grow from them. Here are a few I have either made myself or I have seen other writers do as well as some advice to avoid the mistakes.

Not checking your work

There are many reasons why you only want to put quality work in front of your audience. Most readers are busy and they don’t appreciate a piece that doesn’t entertain, or educate them, and they don’t want to read something that is riddled with grammatical errors. Here are a few ways to produce a quality piece.

  • Ask yourself what the goal of this writing is and did you achieve it? What are you giving your audience.
  • Read your writing out loud. You can often find mistakes this way.
  • Load Grammarly on your computer. It isn’t perfect but it will catch many of your errors.
  • Have someone else read your writing.
  • Ask yourself if what you are happy with what you have written.

Giving up

Most writers have those days when they wonder what they are doing wrong, why isn’t anything working and where the followers are. Finding success as a writer often requires patience and perseverance. You never know what door might burst open when you least expect it. Keep writing because what you do can make a difference in someone’s life.

Paying too much attention to what doesn’t matter.

In this age of followers and likes, we can get caught up in the numbers and forget why we are writing. Everyone might have a slightly different why, but I write because I want to help people or make them feel good. Whatever your why is, remember it when your numbers are not where you want them. Make your goals attainable. Don’t compare yourself to other writers and never listen or engage with the haters.  

Following too many rules

After you spend time reading articles about writing you find a lot of conflicting opinions. As a creative you have the right to create the way you want to. You can color outside the box without sticking to too many rigid rules.

Trying to be someone you are not

The articles that were the most successful for me were the ones where I was real and transparent. Don’t do articles only because those are the ones you think will make you money. Readers can tell when your heart isn’t there.

Not taking risks

When you step out of your comfort zone you can learn and grow. My first books were about healing and mental health. My daughter who had just had a baby called me and asked me to write a children’s book about my grandson. I said I would, but I didn’t have any idea how to do it. I sat down and thought of what I hoped my grandson’s life would be like. I sent it to my publisher who helped me change a few things and What I Hope for You became the first of six children’s books for me.

Thinking that all you have to do is write

Writing is often the easy part but after that is done you have to edit it, find a publisher and market it. There are social media posts and videos to make, community events to coordinate and books to sell.

Putting writing last on the priority list

I am guilty of this. I do all my other responsibilities first and then I write, but I often don’t have the energy to do it for long. You have to put in the time to reap the rewards, so don’t put writing last on the list.

Not looking for growth through community

Many writers crave solitude and would rather not engage with others, but brainstorming with others is a great way to find new ideas and contacts. Here are a few ways to build your writing community.

  • Start a blog and send posts to your subscribers
  • Write online
  • Engage with your readers
  • Vend at local craft markets
  • Ask your library if you can have a book signing.
  • Join online writing groups

Failing to use resources

There are local writing groups and classes for writing. Facebook has many groups for writers. Check for support in your area.

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Some Positive Points on Aging

Elderly woman sitting on a wooden bench surrounded by greenery and flowers, smiling.
An elderly woman smiles warmly while sitting on a bench in a lush garden.

When people speak about aging, they usually talk about all the health concerns and strange things that happen to your body. Where did that strange spot on my arm come from, or what is happening to my hair? There are many negatives about aging, but there are also plenty of positives. Here are a few.

There are a lot of senior discounts. My daughter and I love to go thrifting, and Monday is senior discount day. My daughter loves to use me for my discount, but I’m too excited to spend time with her to mind. A local business owner listed many of the senior discounts and I was amazed how many there are. Here is a list of some of them.

Dress Barn   20% off for 55+

Goodwill        10% off one day a week

Hallmark        10% off one day a week

Kohl’s                15% off (in our area it’s on Wednesday)

Micharl’s          10% off everyday 55+

Ross stores      10% off on Tuesdays

Publix                  15% off every Wednesday    55+

Arby’s                  10% off       55+

Chick-fil-A         10% off or free small drink or coffee    55+

Chilis                    10% off  55+

Dunkin Donuts   10% off or free coffee

Banana Republic       30% off   50+

Krispy Kreme                10% off 50+

I will be selling a complete list on my Gumroad page. Here is the link

https://bonnga.gumroad.com/l/ezbusv

Your children start asking you more questions about family history because they are afraid you might pass before giving them pertinent information.

Yesterday, my son asked me what my maiden name was. He told me his wife wanted to find out more about our family history. I think everyone should know their family history, especially their medical history. Pass down the stories you want the next generation to know.

People underestimate you.

There are times when you have an advantage when you are overlooked, especially if you are an athlete. My YMCA offered an indoor triathlon. I was worried about the swimming portion because it is my weakest skill of the three. The women were changing for the swim and while a woman my age started a conversation with me, I noticed the younger women acted as if we weren’t even there. They didn’t see us as a threat. When we entered the pool, we were told we could use any stroke, so I used the crawl down, but then used the back stroke back to conserve energy. The younger women used the same stroke throughout the race. I won the race! 

You begin to treasure moments more. When I retired, I realized how precious time with family is, and how important it is to be grateful for those special moments. I’m soaking up all my time with my grandson because I saw how quickly my own children grew up. You are more grateful for everyday experiences.

You realize that slowing down is a good thing.

Slowing down makes you realize that life is meant to be savored, not rushed. When you go slower you can observe more.

You discover wisdom that you wish you had much sooner.

I have learned so many things once I retired and slowed down. I now know to let others own their issues, show up and be present, be yourself, and don’t make comparisons. You have greater confidence in yourself. You have a deeper understanding of people and situations.

You see the importance of taking care of yourself. You will enjoy your life more if you are in good health. Do what you can to stay healthy and mobile so you can enjoy your later years.

You understand the importance of kindness. When you are treated as not as important, it makes you realize how that feels and it teaches you the importance of kindness.

The importance of connection and community becomes crystal clear. Few people want to be lonely. We need each other. Join organizations that will help you to meet people. Older people focus more on meaningful connections and less on superficial relationships. Relationships become more intentional.

More time for personal interests. Retirement offers freedom as long as older individuals are financially able, retirement can offer more flexibility, and more chances to pursue passions.

Becoming older can have some wonderful benefits. It can be a time with less responsibilities, more freedom, and more appreciation for life.

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Life Lessons From My Cat

As we were walking out the door today, my husband and daughter both agreed with me that our cat Lowkey knows how to live. He is huge and often only makes it through the cat door by shimmying, but I don’t think you could find a happier animal. He often has a look of absolute ecstasy as he curls up for another nap and despite his size, he can move like Usaine Bolt when his food bowl is being filled. Lowkey could teach us a few things about life. Here are a few lessons that I think he would share with us.

  • Enjoy your food. Diets are only fads and good food is one of the greatest pleasures we have.
  • Don’t take anything too seriously. It’s usually not worth ruffling your fur.
  • Couches were made for frequent naps.
  • A spot in the sun should never be ignored.
  • Share your bowl with someone you love.
  • Spend time with your family as often as possible.
  • Know who is for you and who to avoid like the neighbor’s dog who lives to chase cats.
  • Don’t spend too much energy chasing things you will never catch or won’t know what to do with if you succeed.
  • On those tough days, find a soft spot to land.
  • Make eye contact
  • Sleep with complete abandon.
  • Take frequent baths to always look well-groomed.
  • Be curious about the outside world but know when staying inside is a better idea.
  • Always show appreciation to those who take care of you.
  • Maintain a playful spirit.
  • Ask for attention when you need it.
  • Always smell something before eating it.
  • Be alert to your surroundings.
  • Land on your feet after an upset.
  • Wander outside.
  • Move slowly and enjoy life.
  • Give your family your affection.
  • Love everyone.
  • Forgive quickly when someone steps on your tail.
  • Don’t nap in dangerous places like under the car.
  • Running away from your problem(running up a tree) is only a temporary solution.
  • Whatever passes as your catnip should be used in moderation.
  • Be careful where you sharpen your claws.
  • Trust your whiskers to know your boundaries.
  • Appreciate special treats.
  • Be thankful for an open door in a rainstorm.
  • Simple boxes can be a wonderful shelter.
  • Be grateful for a full bowl, a warm blanket, and a friend by your side.
  • Live life like you have nine lives but make sure you keep count.
  • Avoid confrontations with anything bigger or faster than you.
  • Drop your defenses around those you trust.
  • Play in the dirt and roll in the grass.
  • Don’t get your tail caught where it shouldn’t be.
  • Don’t pounce on anything unless you are ready for the consequences.
  • Adventure can be around the next corner.

Although I meant this to be a light hearted comparison of our lives and our cat’s lives, the lives of our pets can mirror the life that we should strive to live. They show us that opulence and extremes pale in comparison to a simple life with basic pleasures. The simpler our life-style, the less complicated it is to maintain our happiness. Good friends, abundant food, adequate shelter, and a comfortable life style are all we really need.

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Some Positive Points About Aging

When people speak about aging, they usually talk about all the health concerns and strange things that happen to your body. Where did that strange spot on my arm come from, or what is happening to my hair? There are many negatives about aging, but there are also plenty of positives. Here are a few.

There are a lot of senior discounts. My daughter and I love to go thrifting, and Monday is senior discount day. My daughter loves to use me for my discount, but I’m too excited to spend time with her to mind. A local business owner listed many of the senior discounts and I was amazed how many there are. Here is a list of some of them.

Dress Barn   20% off for 55+

Goodwill        10% off one day a week

Hallmark        10% off one day a week

Kohl’s                15% off (in our area it’s on Wednesday)

Micharl’s          10% off everyday 55+

Ross stores      10% off on Tuesdays

Publix                  15% off every Wednesday    55+

Arby’s                  10% off       55+

Chick-fil-A         10% off or free small drink or coffee    55+

Chilis                    10% off  55+

Dunkin Donuts   10% off or free coffee

Banana Republic       30% off   50+

Krispy Kreme                10% off 50+

I will be selling a complete list on my Gumroad page. Here is the link

https://bonnga.gumroad.com/l/ezbusv

Your children start asking you more questions about family history because they are afraid you might pass before giving them pertinent information.

Yesterday, my son asked me what my maiden name was. He told me his wife wanted to find out more about our family history. I think everyone should know their family history, especially their medical history. Pass down the stories you want the next generation to know.

People underestimate you.

There are times when you have an advantage when you are overlooked, especially if you are an athlete. My YMCA offered an indoor triathlon. I was worried about the swimming portion because it is my weakest skill of the three. The women were changing for the swim and while a woman my age started a conversation with me, I noticed the younger women acted as if we weren’t even there. They didn’t see us as a threat. When we entered the pool, we were told we could use any stroke, so I used the crawl down, but then used the back stroke back to conserve energy. The younger women used the same stroke throughout the race. I won the race! 

You begin to treasure moments more. When I retired, I realized how precious time with family is, and how important it is to be grateful for those special moments. I’m soaking up all my time with my grandson because I saw how quickly my own children grew up. You are more grateful for everyday experiences.

You realize that slowing down is a good thing.

Slowing down makes you realize that life is meant to be savored, not rushed. When you go slower you can observe more.

You discover wisdom that you wish you had much sooner.

I have learned so many things once I retired and slowed down. I now know to let others own their issues, show up and be present, be yourself, and don’t make comparisons. You have greater confidence in yourself. You have a deeper understanding of people and situations.

You see the importance of taking care of yourself. You will enjoy your life more if you are in good health. Do what you can to stay healthy and mobile so you can enjoy your later years.

You understand the importance of kindness. When you are treated as not as important, it makes you realize how that feels and it teaches you the importance of kindness.

The importance of connection and community becomes crystal clear. Few people want to be lonely. We need each other. Join organizations that will help you to meet people. Older people focus more on meaningful connections and less on superficial relationships. Relationships become more intentional.

More time for personal interests. Retirement offers freedom as long as older individuals are financially able, retirement can offer more flexibility, and more chances to pursue passions.

Becoming older can have some wonderful benefits. It can be a time with less responsibilities, more freedom, and more appreciation for life.

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Questions to Ask to Know Someone Better

Do you ever wonder if you know someone deeply, or if there is more to discover? Have you ever asked someone a probing question and been surprised by the answer? I think it is fun to pose questions to both people we are in new relationships with and those we have been in for years. Here are a few to ask and be prepared to answer them yourself.

  • What moment or situation changed you?
  • What are your goals for our relationship?
  • What song is the most special to you?
  • When you were younger what did you like to do?
  • Who is the person in your life who understands you the best?
  • What was your role in your family growing up?
  • What makes you stressed?
  • What is a perfect day like for you?
  • What is the best gift or compliment you have received?
  • How did your relationship with your parents influence you?
  • Do you want to be the same type of parent as your parents?
  • What is something you used to believe strongly, but now have changed your mind?
  • As you become older, have your priorities changed?
  • Who do you admire? What qualities are important to you?
  • What life advice would you give someone?

I hope these questions start interesting conversations and I hope they bring up even more questions as you find out more about the people in your life.

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How Ten Minutes Can Help You

How ten minutes can make a difference

Would you believe me if I told you that a ten-minute technique can improve many elements in your life? Let me tell you how it can work.

Help with motivation

I woke up tired this morning. I would have been happy to sit with my coffee and stare into space indefinitely, but I could hear my friend Vikki’s voice saying, “Tell yourself you will go exercise for ten minutes. If you still don’t want to exercise after that you can stop, but usually when you start you keep going.” Of course, she is right because the hardest part is going out the door and there is something about telling yourself you are going to start with ten minutes that makes the task seem less daunting.

Make big tasks less overwhelming

Do you ever put off big tasks because they seem so overwhelming? When you break the tasks into pieces and say you will work at it for ten minutes at a time, it suddenly seems doable.

Help you carve out time more easily

If you are like me, you have a million things you have to do or want to do. Do each task for ten minutes each. I am always reading at least three books at once. I read each one for ten minutes.

Provide transitions

Help your children switch from one activity to another by telling them something is changing in ten minutes. If you are at the pool and it’s time to go home, say, “Okay, we are leaving in ten minutes.” It’s amazing how this avoids a fuss.

Create boundaries

Use the ten-minute technique to limit your time with certain activities such as screen time.