When my daughters come to visit, they always leave a half full glass of water on the kitchen counter. I look for it every time I come back after saying goodbye to them. The glass is always there. I mention this not because I want to complain about them not picking up, but because every time I see that glass it carries some important reminders.
First, it reminds me of them. They both choose glasses that express their personality. My oldest is high energy and she chooses a brightly colored glass. She leaves the glass because she is too focused on what she is doing next to focus on putting away her glass. The youngest is the opposite and enjoys taking some time to relax and be surrounded by family. Her glass always has something positive on it like bee happy. She leaves the glass because she knows I will gladly pick up after her every time she visits.
The glass is also a reminder of how blessed I am that they still come home. They both visit regularly, and even after all the time they have been on their own, I am sad each time they leave. The glass tells me every time they will be back.
The glass reminds me of the important conversations we have in the kitchen. My oldest tells me about the million projects she is doing as well as the plans she has for many more. The youngest tells me funny stories from work, as well as the crazy things her cats are doing.
The glass is a reminder of the importance of family and spending time together. The laughter we share will stay with me long after I put away the glass.
The glass is also a reminder of how important it is to slow down long enough to enjoy the moments in life that really count. I will keep being grateful for the glasses left behind and everything they represent.
Running has saved me in so many ways. It has helped keep me healthy both physically and mentally. In my forty plus years of running, I have learned many lessons and I continue to learn. I would love to share with you what I know so far.
Listen to the veterans.
Everyone at races can teach you something, but the veteran runners can impart wisdom. Head for the man and woman who looks the oldest and ask your questions. They know things, and the stories alone are worth your time.
Discover your pace.
Finding the pace that works for you can save your run just as the wrong pace can cause issues. The usual problems come at the beginning of a race when you start too fast and then burn out at mile two.
Don’t judge anyone’s ability by appearance.
Runners come in all shapes, sizes, and ages, and appearance does not give an accurate depiction of someone’s ability.
Talk to everyone.
Everyone can teach you something and the stories you will hear are inspirational. My best friends are runners I met at races. It is the best place to meet people.
Listen to your body
Your body will give you instructions, you only have to listen. It’s best to listen to the signals you are sent because if you don’t you may end up facing the consequences.
Know that one bad run does not ruin you
I am guilty of thinking my running days are over after one bad run, but everyone has those days when you might want to run, but your body has other ideas.
Don’t compare yourself to others
There will always be people who are faster, slower, fitter, and you will ask why you cannot be as cool, but making comparisons is a losing game. Show up and do your best and enjoy the adventure.
Run your own race
When you stop worrying about what someone else will do and start working on making yourself better, the pieces start to fall into place. Do what you need to run well.
Running has always been a passion for me that has saved me in so many ways. When I run I feel free. I can leave my problems behind as the miles fly by. It has kept me strong physically, and it has introduced me to the running community which is the best group of people you can meet. I can give you a million reasons why I should never stop running, but two years ago I allowed two events to stop me.
I had been having issues with my knees. I strained my left knee badly, then after that healed, I tore my meniscus in my right knee. After that, both knees took turns feeling cranky. At the same time, I had an AFIB attack which lead to medication to keep my heart’s rhythm under control. The medication sapped my energy and my motivation. I didn’t feel like running anymore. I gained weight and acquired a tire of pudge around my middle.
The breaking point came after an ultramarathon several months ago. I wanted to do my first 100 miles, but at 50 miles I quit because I didn’t have the motivation to keep going. After the race I turned to my husband and said, “This isn’t working. I have to make some changes.” He said, “What are we going to do?”
My first step was going to my cardiologist and asking if there was any other medication that wouldn’t make me so tired. His reply surprised me. “No problem. There is a better one.” I asked him why he hadn’t given me that one to begin with and he told me he didn’t think I would want it because it is more expensive. So, I started the new medication, and the fatigue is not as bad.
The next step was changing my training routine. I wanted to stay in my cardio zone every day for as close to an hour as I could, but I was not going to do the same thing every day. I wanted to protect and strengthen my knees and also get back in running shape. One day I do basic strength training and I run. The next day, I do strength training with machines, I do twenty minutes on the stair climber, and thirty minutes on the elliptical. I ride my bike and swim almost every day.
Let me say that getting back into running shape at 68 is more difficult than it was at 30. I used a growth mentality to make it. I kept telling myself that I wasn’t in running shape yet, but if I kept working hard, I would get there. There were a few days that I wasn’t sure that was true.
Our neighborhood road is 1/10 of a mile. People might think that running up and down that would be boring, but it is not. Neighbors come out to talk with me, children yell, “Hey, Miss Jen!”, and I have come face to face with some of our woodland creatures more than once. The best part though is how easy it is to train there. When I first started, I could only run a few feet before I had to walk. Little by little I could run farther and now I can run continuously without walking. Yesterday, I kept saying thank you for allowing me to still do something I love.
Nutrition plays a big role in our health, so here is what I normally eat. I start the day with a bowl of yogurt, and I stir in half a banana and some blueberries and drizzle it all with honey. I have protein for lunch with some vegetables. I usually choose chicken or eggs for my protein. If I’m hungry at 3, I have a snack, but I usually try to make it until dinner. I have protein and vegetables for dinner.
Here are the results so far.
I have lost five pounds in two months.
My knees are stronger.
I can run without pain.
I did my first 100K last week and I felt amazing.
My stomach pudge is gradually diminishing.
My mental health is better. I was depressed because I couldn’t run. When I gradually came back, I was even more grateful than normal.
My frustration caused me to see the need for a reset. Don’t give up when times are rough. Figure out a different way to approach it.
On a regular day, we interact with all kinds of personalities, we solve problems, we are creative and innovative and by the end of the day it can sometimes feel as if we have been through a battle. There has to be some time to recover both physically and mentally from our daily struggle.
I love being around people and as a teacher I am often surrounded by a certain amount of chaos. I spend the day hearing my name called a million times and I love it, but when I come home, I need some quiet. I love the peacefulness when there is no noise, no one who needs me, and no need to speak.
We need quiet time to process everything we have experienced during the day. One of my favorite ways to renew is to go out on our porch and listen to the sounds of the neighborhood. It is a time when I don’t have to answer a question or solve a problem. I can renew in other ways as well whether I take a walk, read, write, cook, or do something else that is soothing. When I make this renewal a regular practice, it changes my attitude towards everything else I do.
Being in nature can be restorative. I love being outside because it always seems to energize and calm me at the same time. It is difficult to feel anxious when we are surrounded by such beauty. Taking a walk or a bike ride or sitting outside will lift your spirits.
Reduce the stimulation around you for at least thirty minutes each day. Put your phone away, turn off any other technology and give yourself some time to disconnect from technology and reconnect with yourself.
On the occasional bad day, we all need some time to recover from mistakes we made or unkind words that may have been said. Use positive self-talk, give yourself some grace, learn from any mistakes, and apologize when it is necessary.
We also need to take time to heal our soul. Life can become so busy that we forget how important it is to grow spiritually. We need time to read the bible, worship and pray.
Music can be a great way to heal. Find your favorite music and relax and listen. On a recent trip with two friends, we listened to the music we had grown up with and swapped funny stories from our childhood.
Reading is another way to destress. I can become completely lost in a story and forget about time as I follow the characters through the plot. I can leave my reality for a short time and immerse myself in someone else’s adventure.
Spending time with animals has always been a great way to decompress for me. Animals love you completely and they crave spending time with you. Our next-door neighbor has a dog that acts as if he is over the moon to see you to the point that he will start to howl, and even though I know he acts that way to almost everyone, it still lifts my spirits.
Cooking has always been a way to relax for me even though I am not a very good cook. There is something comforting about being in the kitchen where we produce and consume the food we need to survive. Have you ever noticed that when you have guests over, everyone gravitates to the kitchen?
Sometimes the best answer to being worn out mentally and physically is to curl up and catch up on sleep. A good nap on a rainy day can make you forget any troubles you may have.
Practicing gratitude is an important exercise in healing. List all the things you are thankful for, and any problems you encountered during the day start to fade away. Realizing all of your blessings instead of focusing on burdens will make you feel better.
My friends will not think I wrote this unless I mention that running for me is the ultimate escape. When I am running, I feel such a sense of peace, as if any stress is just falling off behind me. I can work out problems, generate ideas or simply listen to music. Running is what I turn to first when my emotions are out of balance. If running is not your sport, choose anything that is an active activity.
Find the activities that you need that will help you relax, reflect, and renew. It does not matter what the activity is if it is one that will help you when you take time to heal.
A growth mindset is when you realize you are not at the level where you want to be, but you maintain the attitude that you will eventually get there. Add the word yet to anything that falls short of your goals. An example would be instead of saying I cannot do 5 pushups, say I cannot do five pushups yet. There is a positive shift that says you might not be there yet, but you will be. It helps you to be patient in the knowledge that in time you can crush your goals.
Several months ago, I realized it was time to make some changes. I have been an avid runner all my life, but in the last year a knee injury caused me to stop running. I also was struggling with fatigue and a lack of motivation because I was on a beta blocker for AFIB. Until this point if I had an injury, I would be fighting back so I could run as soon as possible, but I didn’t have any energy and looking back I think I was depressed. All of this caused a domino effect where I lost my running strength, gained weight, stepped back from strength training and ended up with a pudge around my middle that I call my tire.
The breaking point came at an ultra-marathon where I did not do as well as I hoped. I turned to my husband and said, “This isn’t working, it’s time for a change.” I decided to start running again but every other day and on the non-run days I would go to the gym and do the cardio machines. I knew I wouldn’t see results immediately, but I kept reminding myself that the end result would be work staying consistent and working hard.
Seeing results with my running was a very slow process. I wouldn’t let myself say anything negative but more than once I watched people running with ease and wondered if I would ever be able to do it again. I kept trying to walk less and run more and then today I went out and ran without feeling like it was a chore. I was so grateful I almost cried. I have lost four pounds by keeping my pulse in my cardio zone every day and I am watching the pudge disappear.
I hope whatever your goal is you will make a plan, implement it consistently, give yourself grace, be patient, and believe that you can crush any goal you attempt.
My grandson recently turned five. That means he has left the unfettered bliss of toddlerhood and graduated towards responsibilities and expectations. Kindergarten looms on the horizon and before I know it his friends will be so much more important to him than I am. As he heads off towards a new era, what advice would I offer him? Here are a few pearls of wisdom I hope would help him.
Never forget how loved you are. Wear it like armor when anyone is hateful and doesn’t see your light.
Always be kind to others.
Avoid confrontation but defend yourself when needed.
Read as much as possible.
Play in the rain unless there is thunder then run inside.
Soak up summer, swim, ride bikes, watch fireflies, and stay outside past dark.
Guard your peace.
Imperfection is interesting.
Don’t make comparisons.
Be transparent.
Listen fully.
Make health a priority.
You are responsible for your happiness.
Let others solve their issues.
Don’t chase after someone who doesn’t want to be chased.
Even the best writers have moments when they wonder if their writing is good enough. How do you know if your hard work is something that others will like? You might be discouraged when the numbers don’t come out the way you hoped, but building an audience can take time and patience, so you cannot always judge your success that way. Here are a few ideas that will prove you are on the right track.
You interact with your audience
When I first started vending my books at the local craft market, I often struggled to sell even enough to make the market fee. One day my husband asked me what I was hoping to accomplish at the market because I wasn’t making much of a profit. I explained to him that although I would love to sell more books, interacting with the people at the market was more important. I was making connections, building trust, and listening to people who needed to talk. I now have repeat customers and children who have purchased a book come running up to my booth to see if I have anything new.
Online, you can interact with your readers and don’t forget to interact with the readers of other writers. We can learn so much from each other as an online community.
You make your audience feel something
Someone at the market asked me what I wanted to do with my writing. I said I wanted to help my readers and I want them to feel something. My first children’s book is about what you would like your child or grandchild to have in life. I have had several women cry when they start reading it. I don’t want anyone to cry, but I’m glad my words can bring out emotions.
You help your readers
We have all had some difficult moments or become good at doing something. Your wisdom or skill could help someone else.
You are consistent
Being consistent means, you have prioritized your writing, you are working on your craft, and when you show up every day so will your audience.
You are authentic and inspire trust
Readers want writers who are real people not someone hiding behind a mask. It’s ok to show your weaknesses. You might help someone else by being transparent.
You believe in quality work
A good writer polishes the writing until it is the best you can produce.
You love to write and can’t imagine not doing it
If writing is a passion and you know you will continue to do it even if the numbers say you should throw in the towel then if you aren’t already a good writer, you will be someday.
I hope writing is as much of a passion for you as it is for me. Ideas hop into my brain continuously and I cannot wait to put them onto paper. I am impatient by nature, so I needed to learn to slow down with my writing process. Here are the reasons why writers should be patient with their writing.
Slow down with how you build your piece
The process that works best for me is to use a whiteboard and brainstorm some ideas about what I want to say. I’ll put down major points and add some ideas that come from those major points. Having the chance for freethinking and making an outline gives my writing more structure. I also find my best ideas come while I’m running, so I come in and jot the thoughts down.
Don’t publish right away
Sometimes I am in too much of a hurry to publish and if I took more time to research or reflect on the topic, the article would be better.
Edit more than once
It’s normal to want to send your writing to your audience, but you need to send them quality material, so do your best to give them your best.
Know when to take a break
I have had times when I have a great idea but at a certain point I hit a wall and cannot think of a path to take to finish it. Take a break, go for a walk, take a nap, and come back fresh.
Don’t force your pen
I have been working on a book that is very important to me, but I cannot move forward with it. I feel completely blocked. I am just going to have to take it a step at a time and pray that everything flows.
Give yourself grace
You have a gift and you should use it consistently, but there may be times when you need to step back and rest. When you start again you will probably come back stronger.
We all make mistakes along our writing journey, but hopefully we learn and grow from them. Here are a few I have either made myself or I have seen other writers do as well as some advice to avoid the mistakes.
Not checking your work
There are many reasons why you only want to put quality work in front of your audience. Most readers are busy and they don’t appreciate a piece that doesn’t entertain, or educate them, and they don’t want to read something that is riddled with grammatical errors. Here are a few ways to produce a quality piece.
Ask yourself what the goal of this writing is and did you achieve it? What are you giving your audience.
Read your writing out loud. You can often find mistakes this way.
Load Grammarly on your computer. It isn’t perfect but it will catch many of your errors.
Have someone else read your writing.
Ask yourself if what you are happy with what you have written.
Giving up
Most writers have those days when they wonder what they are doing wrong, why isn’t anything working and where the followers are. Finding success as a writer often requires patience and perseverance. You never know what door might burst open when you least expect it. Keep writing because what you do can make a difference in someone’s life.
Paying too much attention to what doesn’t matter.
In this age of followers and likes, we can get caught up in the numbers and forget why we are writing. Everyone might have a slightly different why, but I write because I want to help people or make them feel good. Whatever your why is, remember it when your numbers are not where you want them. Make your goals attainable. Don’t compare yourself to other writers and never listen or engage with the haters.
Following too many rules
After you spend time reading articles about writing you find a lot of conflicting opinions. As a creative you have the right to create the way you want to. You can color outside the box without sticking to too many rigid rules.
Trying to be someone you are not
The articles that were the most successful for me were the ones where I was real and transparent. Don’t do articles only because those are the ones you think will make you money. Readers can tell when your heart isn’t there.
Not taking risks
When you step out of your comfort zone you can learn and grow. My first books were about healing and mental health. My daughter who had just had a baby called me and asked me to write a children’s book about my grandson. I said I would, but I didn’t have any idea how to do it. I sat down and thought of what I hoped my grandson’s life would be like. I sent it to my publisher who helped me change a few things and What I Hope for You became the first of six children’s books for me.
Thinking that all you have to do is write
Writing is often the easy part but after that is done you have to edit it, find a publisher and market it. There are social media posts and videos to make, community events to coordinate and books to sell.
Putting writing last on the priority list
I am guilty of this. I do all my other responsibilities first and then I write, but I often don’t have the energy to do it for long. You have to put in the time to reap the rewards, so don’t put writing last on the list.
Not looking for growth through community
Many writers crave solitude and would rather not engage with others, but brainstorming with others is a great way to find new ideas and contacts. Here are a few ways to build your writing community.
Start a blog and send posts to your subscribers
Write online
Engage with your readers
Vend at local craft markets
Ask your library if you can have a book signing.
Join online writing groups
Failing to use resources
There are local writing groups and classes for writing. Facebook has many groups for writers. Check for support in your area.
An elderly woman smiles warmly while sitting on a bench in a lush garden.
When people speak about aging, they usually talk about all the health concerns and strange things that happen to your body. Where did that strange spot on my arm come from, or what is happening to my hair? There are many negatives about aging, but there are also plenty of positives. Here are a few.
There are a lot of senior discounts. My daughter and I love to go thrifting, and Monday is senior discount day. My daughter loves to use me for my discount, but I’m too excited to spend time with her to mind. A local business owner listed many of the senior discounts and I was amazed how many there are. Here is a list of some of them.
Dress Barn 20% off for 55+
Goodwill 10% off one day a week
Hallmark 10% off one day a week
Kohl’s 15% off (in our area it’s on Wednesday)
Micharl’s 10% off everyday 55+
Ross stores 10% off on Tuesdays
Publix 15% off every Wednesday 55+
Arby’s 10% off 55+
Chick-fil-A 10% off or free small drink or coffee 55+
Chilis 10% off 55+
Dunkin Donuts 10% off or free coffee
Banana Republic 30% off 50+
Krispy Kreme 10% off 50+
I will be selling a complete list on my Gumroad page. Here is the link
Your children start asking you more questions about family history because they are afraid you might pass before giving them pertinent information.
Yesterday, my son asked me what my maiden name was. He told me his wife wanted to find out more about our family history. I think everyone should know their family history, especially their medical history. Pass down the stories you want the next generation to know.
People underestimate you.
There are times when you have an advantage when you are overlooked, especially if you are an athlete. My YMCA offered an indoor triathlon. I was worried about the swimming portion because it is my weakest skill of the three. The women were changing for the swim and while a woman my age started a conversation with me, I noticed the younger women acted as if we weren’t even there. They didn’t see us as a threat. When we entered the pool, we were told we could use any stroke, so I used the crawl down, but then used the back stroke back to conserve energy. The younger women used the same stroke throughout the race. I won the race!
You begin to treasure moments more. When I retired, I realized how precious time with family is, and how important it is to be grateful for those special moments. I’m soaking up all my time with my grandson because I saw how quickly my own children grew up. You are more grateful for everyday experiences.
You realize that slowing down is a good thing.
Slowing down makes you realize that life is meant to be savored, not rushed. When you go slower you can observe more.
You discover wisdom that you wish you had much sooner.
I have learned so many things once I retired and slowed down. I now know to let others own their issues, show up and be present, be yourself, and don’t make comparisons. You have greater confidence in yourself. You have a deeper understanding of people and situations.
You see the importance of taking care of yourself. You will enjoy your life more if you are in good health. Do what you can to stay healthy and mobile so you can enjoy your later years.
You understand the importance of kindness. When you are treated as not as important, it makes you realize how that feels and it teaches you the importance of kindness.
The importance of connection and community becomes crystal clear. Few people want to be lonely. We need each other. Join organizations that will help you to meet people. Older people focus more on meaningful connections and less on superficial relationships. Relationships become more intentional.
More time for personal interests. Retirement offers freedom as long as older individuals are financially able, retirement can offer more flexibility, and more chances to pursue passions.
Becoming older can have some wonderful benefits. It can be a time with less responsibilities, more freedom, and more appreciation for life.
Jennifer’s writing 