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Some Positive Points on Aging

Elderly woman sitting on a wooden bench surrounded by greenery and flowers, smiling.
An elderly woman smiles warmly while sitting on a bench in a lush garden.

When people speak about aging, they usually talk about all the health concerns and strange things that happen to your body. Where did that strange spot on my arm come from, or what is happening to my hair? There are many negatives about aging, but there are also plenty of positives. Here are a few.

There are a lot of senior discounts. My daughter and I love to go thrifting, and Monday is senior discount day. My daughter loves to use me for my discount, but I’m too excited to spend time with her to mind. A local business owner listed many of the senior discounts and I was amazed how many there are. Here is a list of some of them.

Dress Barn   20% off for 55+

Goodwill        10% off one day a week

Hallmark        10% off one day a week

Kohl’s                15% off (in our area it’s on Wednesday)

Micharl’s          10% off everyday 55+

Ross stores      10% off on Tuesdays

Publix                  15% off every Wednesday    55+

Arby’s                  10% off       55+

Chick-fil-A         10% off or free small drink or coffee    55+

Chilis                    10% off  55+

Dunkin Donuts   10% off or free coffee

Banana Republic       30% off   50+

Krispy Kreme                10% off 50+

I will be selling a complete list on my Gumroad page. Here is the link

https://bonnga.gumroad.com/l/ezbusv

Your children start asking you more questions about family history because they are afraid you might pass before giving them pertinent information.

Yesterday, my son asked me what my maiden name was. He told me his wife wanted to find out more about our family history. I think everyone should know their family history, especially their medical history. Pass down the stories you want the next generation to know.

People underestimate you.

There are times when you have an advantage when you are overlooked, especially if you are an athlete. My YMCA offered an indoor triathlon. I was worried about the swimming portion because it is my weakest skill of the three. The women were changing for the swim and while a woman my age started a conversation with me, I noticed the younger women acted as if we weren’t even there. They didn’t see us as a threat. When we entered the pool, we were told we could use any stroke, so I used the crawl down, but then used the back stroke back to conserve energy. The younger women used the same stroke throughout the race. I won the race! 

You begin to treasure moments more. When I retired, I realized how precious time with family is, and how important it is to be grateful for those special moments. I’m soaking up all my time with my grandson because I saw how quickly my own children grew up. You are more grateful for everyday experiences.

You realize that slowing down is a good thing.

Slowing down makes you realize that life is meant to be savored, not rushed. When you go slower you can observe more.

You discover wisdom that you wish you had much sooner.

I have learned so many things once I retired and slowed down. I now know to let others own their issues, show up and be present, be yourself, and don’t make comparisons. You have greater confidence in yourself. You have a deeper understanding of people and situations.

You see the importance of taking care of yourself. You will enjoy your life more if you are in good health. Do what you can to stay healthy and mobile so you can enjoy your later years.

You understand the importance of kindness. When you are treated as not as important, it makes you realize how that feels and it teaches you the importance of kindness.

The importance of connection and community becomes crystal clear. Few people want to be lonely. We need each other. Join organizations that will help you to meet people. Older people focus more on meaningful connections and less on superficial relationships. Relationships become more intentional.

More time for personal interests. Retirement offers freedom as long as older individuals are financially able, retirement can offer more flexibility, and more chances to pursue passions.

Becoming older can have some wonderful benefits. It can be a time with less responsibilities, more freedom, and more appreciation for life.

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Life Lessons From My Cat

As we were walking out the door today, my husband and daughter both agreed with me that our cat Lowkey knows how to live. He is huge and often only makes it through the cat door by shimmying, but I don’t think you could find a happier animal. He often has a look of absolute ecstasy as he curls up for another nap and despite his size, he can move like Usaine Bolt when his food bowl is being filled. Lowkey could teach us a few things about life. Here are a few lessons that I think he would share with us.

  • Enjoy your food. Diets are only fads and good food is one of the greatest pleasures we have.
  • Don’t take anything too seriously. It’s usually not worth ruffling your fur.
  • Couches were made for frequent naps.
  • A spot in the sun should never be ignored.
  • Share your bowl with someone you love.
  • Spend time with your family as often as possible.
  • Know who is for you and who to avoid like the neighbor’s dog who lives to chase cats.
  • Don’t spend too much energy chasing things you will never catch or won’t know what to do with if you succeed.
  • On those tough days, find a soft spot to land.
  • Make eye contact
  • Sleep with complete abandon.
  • Take frequent baths to always look well-groomed.
  • Be curious about the outside world but know when staying inside is a better idea.
  • Always show appreciation to those who take care of you.
  • Maintain a playful spirit.
  • Ask for attention when you need it.
  • Always smell something before eating it.
  • Be alert to your surroundings.
  • Land on your feet after an upset.
  • Wander outside.
  • Move slowly and enjoy life.
  • Give your family your affection.
  • Love everyone.
  • Forgive quickly when someone steps on your tail.
  • Don’t nap in dangerous places like under the car.
  • Running away from your problem(running up a tree) is only a temporary solution.
  • Whatever passes as your catnip should be used in moderation.
  • Be careful where you sharpen your claws.
  • Trust your whiskers to know your boundaries.
  • Appreciate special treats.
  • Be thankful for an open door in a rainstorm.
  • Simple boxes can be a wonderful shelter.
  • Be grateful for a full bowl, a warm blanket, and a friend by your side.
  • Live life like you have nine lives but make sure you keep count.
  • Avoid confrontations with anything bigger or faster than you.
  • Drop your defenses around those you trust.
  • Play in the dirt and roll in the grass.
  • Don’t get your tail caught where it shouldn’t be.
  • Don’t pounce on anything unless you are ready for the consequences.
  • Adventure can be around the next corner.

Although I meant this to be a light hearted comparison of our lives and our cat’s lives, the lives of our pets can mirror the life that we should strive to live. They show us that opulence and extremes pale in comparison to a simple life with basic pleasures. The simpler our life-style, the less complicated it is to maintain our happiness. Good friends, abundant food, adequate shelter, and a comfortable life style are all we really need.

Posted on

Some Positive Points About Aging

When people speak about aging, they usually talk about all the health concerns and strange things that happen to your body. Where did that strange spot on my arm come from, or what is happening to my hair? There are many negatives about aging, but there are also plenty of positives. Here are a few.

There are a lot of senior discounts. My daughter and I love to go thrifting, and Monday is senior discount day. My daughter loves to use me for my discount, but I’m too excited to spend time with her to mind. A local business owner listed many of the senior discounts and I was amazed how many there are. Here is a list of some of them.

Dress Barn   20% off for 55+

Goodwill        10% off one day a week

Hallmark        10% off one day a week

Kohl’s                15% off (in our area it’s on Wednesday)

Micharl’s          10% off everyday 55+

Ross stores      10% off on Tuesdays

Publix                  15% off every Wednesday    55+

Arby’s                  10% off       55+

Chick-fil-A         10% off or free small drink or coffee    55+

Chilis                    10% off  55+

Dunkin Donuts   10% off or free coffee

Banana Republic       30% off   50+

Krispy Kreme                10% off 50+

I will be selling a complete list on my Gumroad page. Here is the link

https://bonnga.gumroad.com/l/ezbusv

Your children start asking you more questions about family history because they are afraid you might pass before giving them pertinent information.

Yesterday, my son asked me what my maiden name was. He told me his wife wanted to find out more about our family history. I think everyone should know their family history, especially their medical history. Pass down the stories you want the next generation to know.

People underestimate you.

There are times when you have an advantage when you are overlooked, especially if you are an athlete. My YMCA offered an indoor triathlon. I was worried about the swimming portion because it is my weakest skill of the three. The women were changing for the swim and while a woman my age started a conversation with me, I noticed the younger women acted as if we weren’t even there. They didn’t see us as a threat. When we entered the pool, we were told we could use any stroke, so I used the crawl down, but then used the back stroke back to conserve energy. The younger women used the same stroke throughout the race. I won the race! 

You begin to treasure moments more. When I retired, I realized how precious time with family is, and how important it is to be grateful for those special moments. I’m soaking up all my time with my grandson because I saw how quickly my own children grew up. You are more grateful for everyday experiences.

You realize that slowing down is a good thing.

Slowing down makes you realize that life is meant to be savored, not rushed. When you go slower you can observe more.

You discover wisdom that you wish you had much sooner.

I have learned so many things once I retired and slowed down. I now know to let others own their issues, show up and be present, be yourself, and don’t make comparisons. You have greater confidence in yourself. You have a deeper understanding of people and situations.

You see the importance of taking care of yourself. You will enjoy your life more if you are in good health. Do what you can to stay healthy and mobile so you can enjoy your later years.

You understand the importance of kindness. When you are treated as not as important, it makes you realize how that feels and it teaches you the importance of kindness.

The importance of connection and community becomes crystal clear. Few people want to be lonely. We need each other. Join organizations that will help you to meet people. Older people focus more on meaningful connections and less on superficial relationships. Relationships become more intentional.

More time for personal interests. Retirement offers freedom as long as older individuals are financially able, retirement can offer more flexibility, and more chances to pursue passions.

Becoming older can have some wonderful benefits. It can be a time with less responsibilities, more freedom, and more appreciation for life.

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Questions to Ask to Know Someone Better

Do you ever wonder if you know someone deeply, or if there is more to discover? Have you ever asked someone a probing question and been surprised by the answer? I think it is fun to pose questions to both people we are in new relationships with and those we have been in for years. Here are a few to ask and be prepared to answer them yourself.

  • What moment or situation changed you?
  • What are your goals for our relationship?
  • What song is the most special to you?
  • When you were younger what did you like to do?
  • Who is the person in your life who understands you the best?
  • What was your role in your family growing up?
  • What makes you stressed?
  • What is a perfect day like for you?
  • What is the best gift or compliment you have received?
  • How did your relationship with your parents influence you?
  • Do you want to be the same type of parent as your parents?
  • What is something you used to believe strongly, but now have changed your mind?
  • As you become older, have your priorities changed?
  • Who do you admire? What qualities are important to you?
  • What life advice would you give someone?

I hope these questions start interesting conversations and I hope they bring up even more questions as you find out more about the people in your life.

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How Ten Minutes Can Help You

How ten minutes can make a difference

Would you believe me if I told you that a ten-minute technique can improve many elements in your life? Let me tell you how it can work.

Help with motivation

I woke up tired this morning. I would have been happy to sit with my coffee and stare into space indefinitely, but I could hear my friend Vikki’s voice saying, “Tell yourself you will go exercise for ten minutes. If you still don’t want to exercise after that you can stop, but usually when you start you keep going.” Of course, she is right because the hardest part is going out the door and there is something about telling yourself you are going to start with ten minutes that makes the task seem less daunting.

Make big tasks less overwhelming

Do you ever put off big tasks because they seem so overwhelming? When you break the tasks into pieces and say you will work at it for ten minutes at a time, it suddenly seems doable.

Help you carve out time more easily

If you are like me, you have a million things you have to do or want to do. Do each task for ten minutes each. I am always reading at least three books at once. I read each one for ten minutes.

Provide transitions

Help your children switch from one activity to another by telling them something is changing in ten minutes. If you are at the pool and it’s time to go home, say, “Okay, we are leaving in ten minutes.” It’s amazing how this avoids a fuss.

Create boundaries

Use the ten-minute technique to limit your time with certain activities such as screen time.

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Four Ways to Tailor Your Article

Writing is personal and we all have our own reason to write, so although there is some great advice out there, you need to sift through it to find what works for you. Here are a few ways a writer might tailor an article.

Solve a problem

This is the advice I hear the most. Find a problem that multiple people have and provide solutions. I like writing articles like this because I enjoy helping people. Make a list of your expertise in areas where you could help someone solve an issue. Research what some common problems are and discover resources to solve them.

Entertain

Everyone wants to be entertained. It good be an interesting story, or a funny piece that leaves you laughing. Share your experiences.

Soothe your soul

Sharing difficult experiences helps shed some of the pain. It’s like letting the experience go a little once we share it. Your story may help someone else realize they are not alone. Helping someone else might make you feel better.

Share experience/wisdom/teach  

We all need help in multiple areas, and you may have the knowledge to help someone else. What can you teach someone?

There are so many different reasons and ways to write. What’s in your heart to write?

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The Side Effect Not Listed

The Side Effect That Wasn’t Listed for My Medication

Three years ago, I became an Afibber when my heart began beating wildly out of control after a short run. When I was in the hospital, the doctor prescribed a beta blocker and told me I would be on it the rest of my life and it would affect my energy level. When I asked what he meant he told me if I normally ran ten miles, I would only want to run five.

I quickly realized the doctor was right. I was so tired all the time. About the same time, I tore my meniscus and started walking instead of running. As the months turned into a year and then two, I didn’t have the motivation to start running again.

Running has always been a passion for me. It has helped me mentally, physically, and socially my entire life. It would be the last thing I would consider walking away from, but gradually I had given up on running without really acknowledging it.

Running races has been the place where I have met most of my closest friends. I stopped going. When I did show up, friends would ask me where I had been, and I didn’t have a good answer. The real response was I had lost my joy for running and racing.

I lost pleasure in other activities too. I love to garden, but last year I had no desire to go out to the garden, so the weeds were what flourished there.

I had to go back for yearly heart tests, and I was talking to the technician about my fatigue. She said I needed to try a different medication. I asked my cardiologist and he said, “Oh, no problem! I’ll put you on a better one that doesn’t cause as much fatigue.” When I asked why we hadn’t started with that one, he told me he thought it might be too expensive. After that we had a conversation about communication.

The difference has been amazing. It took a few weeks, but I have my energy back, I’m getting back into running shape, working on a strength program, and racing. I am so grateful to be running again, and the garden is full of vegetables instead of weeds.

The side effect that I wish I had known was that a medication could change my style of life and take away my joy of pursuing passions. It was so much more than there will be a change of energy.

If your medication is affecting your style of life, ask your doctor if there is an alternative and above all else pay attention to the side effects that are not listed.

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Why Would a Woman Not Leave an Emotionally Abusive Relationship?

Emotional abuse comes in many forms. The abuser may show excessive anger, have dark moods, need to control and possess, belittle and berate. If you always feel like you are walking on eggshells, you are never right, you can’t have a discussion without explosive emotion, or you can’t be yourself, then you are being emotionally abused.

So, if someone is experiencing an emotional relationship why would she not leave? Although common sense tells you that if you realize you are in a relationship with an abuser, you should end the relationship immediately, it can be more complicated than that. Here are some reasons why a woman stays even though she shouldn’t.

The abuser has another side. I have a friend who tells me when she started dating her husband, she would describe him as gentle, loving and funny. Abusers are master manipulators and can be very charming. After the marriage, she saw another side of his personality. He would change anything she had done in the house and berate her for doing it wrong. Once she had tried to paint a kitchen cabinet and after he had yelled at her for doing it, he turned to his teenage son and said with a condescending smile, “Can you believe she did that?”

Her abuser was so charming in public that many people would tell her how lucky she was to be married to such a wonderful man, but she wished she could tell them what he was like at home.

The abuser steals your value. After being told she couldn’t do anything on her own, my friend began to believe it. Her husband didn’t want her to wash his clothes or do the cooking because he told her she wasn’t good at it. I told her to let him do all those things because it gave her more time to do what she wanted.  

She questions the situation

An abuser can switch the guilt around to the victim so that the victim questions her reality, wondering if she is being overdramatic even when she has tons of evidence of the abuse.

She cannot afford to leave

This is one of the main reasons many women stay because they don’t think they can survive without the abuser. I told my daughters to make sure they were never financially dependent on a man, but this can be very scary for a woman who knows leaving is the right thing to do, but money has become the shackle that keeps her in the relationship.

I hope if you are in an abusive relationship, you will find help in what ever form you need. Talk with people you trust and research community resources. Life is too short to not be happy.