Do you know someone whose actions or words have changed your life? Even some of the unpleasant actions of people can make a significant, positive change for you. I’m not sure I’m ready to thank the ones who made my life miserable, but I have done my best to thank the ones who have helped me along the way. One of those people was my college French teacher. One day, she pulled three of us out into the hall and said, “If you would like to do the study abroad program in France, I can get you in.” That year in France changed my life, so recently I tracked her down through her last job and sent her a letter thanking her. She e-mailed me back and told me that she was 85 and had just received bad news at the doctor’s that she only had a few months to live. She went on to talk about teaching me. I couldn’t believe how much she remembered about me. Right before she died, she sent a final e-mail to all her friends and at the end she said, “Adieu” which is goodbye with a note of finality. I am so glad I had a chance to say thank you.
Here is a list of the type of people who can influence us in some way.
Mentors
We all need someone who can share their skill and wisdom with us. Don’t be afraid to ask an expert for advice. Although failure can be a great teacher, learning from someone with experience can be a much better experience.
The ones who made us stronger.
The people who help us in life are not always positive influences. I have had several very toxic relationships, and those relationships made me stronger and more capable of using boundaries and standing up for myself.
The voice of wisdom.
We all need at least one person in our lives who can see the truth through all the drama and knows how to relate that wisdom to us. My sister always had the ability to tell be what to do in any situation and my husband can unwind any drama and help me see it for what it is. He told me recently that instead of becoming upset when someone tells them they want to do something outlandish, he waits until they do it to react and until then it’s just “blah, blah, blah”….wisdom.
Someone who made us kinder.
Middle school and high school was rough for me. I didn’t fit in, I struggled with my appearance and there were some cruel people around me. I swore I would be kind the rest of my life.
A person who helped us understand.
It’s easy to judge someone, but a teacher once said to us, “Try to understand where the actions are coming from. Maybe you can help that person to be better.”
Someone who knew the right words.
There are certain words that people say that linger in our memory and help to lift us up when we start to question our worth. What are those words for you? The words I remember are from my English teacher when he told me I was a good writer, from a student who said, “If anyone can make you feel special it’s Mrs. Bonn.”, and a fellow ultrarunner who told me I was strong.
The person who helped us grow.
Is there someone in your life who will help you to be better? Someone who encouraged you to follow your dream and to never give up? Did someone give you the inspiration and motivation to become better? That’s a person you need to thank.
The ones who truly loved us.
We will always be surrounded by the fake friends who are only around when we can offer something to them, but if we are blessed, we also have those people who show up no matter what and who love us despite our faults.
Someone who knew us completely.
Our family are not always the people who know us best. Thankfully, my best friend knows me completely. I know he always knows what I am thinking, or how I will react to a situation. It’s important to be truly known by someone.
The ones who listened.
I am married to an amazing man, but he does not listen to me. He finishes my sentences, interrupts my stories to insert his own, and believes his own truth even though I state the facts clearly. It is rare to find someone who listens completely and you should treat that person like a gem.
The people who took the time for us.
When I went to high school, I was socially awkward and always afraid of looking ridiculous. I needed all the support I could find. The wife of a faculty member used to do a bible study with two of my friends, so I went with them. I’ll never forget when she had us stand in front of a full sized mirror and told us to never say negative things about ourselves. We should see the beauty in us, and we shouldn’t let anyone else tell us anything different. What an amazing message for teenage girls. My parents both worked, so they could not come to see many of my games, but Miss Fran was in the front row every game.
Remember the importance of giving your time to your children too. My adult children tell me that they like my retirement because I spend more time with them. I feel so blessed that they want to be with me.
After you have thought about the people who fall into these categories, ask yourself how many people would name you as someone they can credit for making a difference in their lives. You might be surprised. After a high school graduation where I taught, one of my students came to find me and she said, “I wanted to thank you for recognizing how hard I worked. I always received high grades, but you were the only teacher who saw how hard I worked to have them.”
You never know how your words and actions that might seem so simple to you might make a lasting impact on someone else. Go help change someone’s world!
