Every ultramarathon I have done has taught me at least one lesson. My most recent ultra last weekend was no exception. It was the first Yeti trail race I had ever done, and I was nervous for several reasons. I wasn’t sure what the course would be like and if my almost-healed meniscus would tolerate it. I always am slightly apprehensive when I am doing a new race, and the weather was not looking good either.

My first lesson was to prepare more for the weather conditions. The local news was saying we could potentially have torrential rain as well as thunder and lightning, but the storm was expected to be below the area where the race would be. They were wrong, or conditions changed because we were hit with some heavy storms. I had rain gear, but I would wait until the storm hit to put it on. The problem was the storm hit at mile 1 of a 4-mile loop, and by the time I made it in I was soaked.

Lesson number two would be to prepare for the unexpected. My husband was my support crew and he told me on race morning that he forgot the top to the canopy. The only other cover I had was a small pop-up tent that flooded quickly soaking my dry clothes. Obviously, I should have found a spot somewhere where the clothes would have stayed dry, but there were not many dry places.

I also let my husband convince me that we didn’t need to arrive early for the race. He wanted to have breakfast. When we arrived there wasn’t much room left to set up, so it created some unwanted stress before the race.

Lesson 3 would be to listen to the course director who said that it was supposed to rain in an hour. I also should have checked the weather app because not only did it rain, but we had a strong thunder and lightening storm, and my mother was very clear that lightening was bad, being up high during lightening was worse, and being on a ridge while standing on a trail that was a puddle was ludicrous. I was with two women, Jill and Marie most of the loop. Marie said that as long as we could hear the birds chirping we were ok. Two minutes after there was dead quiet. I mentioned this to Marie who proclaimed that we were indeed in trouble. I was praying to God, to my patron saint, and to everyone else’s saint.

Lesson 4 is to make the right decision for you despite what other people say. When I made it in I asked John if the weather was going to continue like this. He told me a second wave would come through in an hour. He told me he would support whatever decision I made. As we started to pack up our things, one of the volunteers tried to encourage me to stay. I felt like I was quitting until the only person I knew at the race, and who I have known for years said to me, “What if you slipped on one of those hills and hurt your knee again?”

Lesson 5 is to ask yourself the right questions. I do not like to give up on anything, but I asked myself several questions. I asked myself if I continued would I enjoy the experience? The answer was no. I also asked if I thought it was safe to go back out. The answer was also no.

Lesson 6 is to realize that every time we stumble we can learn from it. Next year, I will make sure my husband brings the top to the canopy, we will arrive early at the site, and I will be dressed for the weather. A bad experience should never defeat us. Figure out how you are going to do better next time.

I spend too much time thinking about what I have to do next instead of savoring the moment I’m in at the time. I wonder if it comes from having too many things on my plate and trying to juggle them all. Do you ever focus on the activities you need to do later and miss out on important moments because you aren’t completely present?

Lately, I’ve been trying to stay present in the moment and enjoy interactions with family and friends instead of being distracted by what will come later.

What might you enjoy more in life if you focus more on being present? What might you savor more? Here are a few ideas.

Your food

Are you so busy that you rush through a meal without actually tasting it? Do you grab anything without thinking so you can eliminate hunger? Food is one of the great pleasures in life, and it’s our fuel, so it’s responsible for our health and productivity. Spend some time planning what you will eat and enjoy the tastes. Eat slowly and enjoy all the different flavors.

Family

I didn’t realize how much my family needed me until I retired. Suddenly, I had more time to help my youngest with her college work, my oldest could call every day and share her day with me, and my husband wanted to talk about his work day. Set aside family time whether it is eating meals together, playing games, or finding a time that is just for the family.

Nature

There is something about being outside for me that is healing. There is so much beauty and I feel a sense of calm.

Rest

Most of us do not rest well. Do you feel guilty if you take a nap? Studies have proven that we are more productive and healthier when we take time to recharge.

What else do you need to savor more? Reflect on where your priorities and interests are and be intentional about giving those things your focus.

Have you ever spent a lot of money on a beauty product only to find out that the results did not live up to the promises? It is easy to spend a small fortune to improve our looks, but most of what we are looking for can be found with inexpensive, basic products. Here are a few to try.

Vaseline

Vaseline can be used to soothe dry lips.

Mix it with lemon for a skin-brightening mask.

Mix it with sugar or salt for a body scrub.

Massage it into your feet to relieve dry skin.

Use it wherever you chafe.

Rub it into your cuticles to moisturize them.

It can be used on cuts. My dermatologist recommended it after I had some skin cancer removed.

It helps prevent scars.

It will soothe razor bumps.

You can use it to shape your eyebrows.

It will spruce up a fading manicure.

It can soothe a dry nose.

Toothpaste

Did you know that toothpaste is a great way to eliminate pimples? It can also be used to relieve insect bites and itchiness.

Baking Soda

Use baking soda as an inexpensive toothpaste.

It will work as a mouthwash.

It can be used as a deodorant and is an ingredient in many deodorants.

It can soothe your skin from burns and bites.

It will make a great facial scrub.

Witch hazel

I had several skin cancers burned off and I decided to experiment with witch hazel as a way to heal them. I was amazed at how quickly they healed, and now I use it as a toner. It can be used for skin inflammation, varicose veins, bruises, insect bites, and acne.

Before you consider spending a lot of money to fill your beauty and health needs, consider using a few of nature’s remedies.

My oldest daughter just told us that she and her husband are buying a new house. She is excited and overwhelmed because there are a lot of moving pieces. When I told the news to my youngest I was surprised by her one-word response. She looked at me and said, “Why?” I said, “Well, I’m not exactly sure what all her reasons are. The next time I spoke with her I asked her why she had decided on this house, and she had some very well-thought-out responses. It did make me think though about how important our why should factor into our decisions.

My husband was trying to convince me that on our next vacation, I should go parasailing. I said, “Honey, I am terrified of heights. Nothing about parasailing would make me happy, so why would I force myself to do it?”

What was your answer to why you should do the job you are doing now? If you asked yourself why you are doing your work, would the answer be the same? What about with your partner? What qualities attracted you to that person? Has your answer to why this person changed?

There are so many things in our lives that we should spend more time thinking about. We should revisit our answers to our why for each situation. It is so easy to be caught up in our busy, daily routine, and we keep moving on the treadmill of life without checking to see what we need to improve or eliminate for our happiness.

I had to stop and recheck my answers for why while working at a boarding school. I’m terrible about saying no, so I was coaching two sports, on a zillion committees, taking care of a husband, two teens, and a toddler, and teaching six classes. I was exhausted and I wasn’t giving my family what they needed. I had to stop and ask why am I doing this, and the answer wasn’t positive, so I quit and scaled back. I felt as if I finally had my priorities in order.

Ask yourself why for the different situations in your life. The answers might be enlightening and even empowering.

Have you ever heard the term a real runner? I have heard it many times at races and in conversations, and although I always hope I’m considered a real runner, the expression irritates me a little because it carries with it some misplaced judgment. Let me tell you a few of the times I have heard this expression, and why it bothered me at the time.

I was running the Rock n Roll New Orleans Marathon and I had reached the turn-off point where if I went straight I would go into the chute for the half and be done. You could hear the party going on at the finish. I was so tempted to go straight and finish because the roads were still a mess from hurricane Katrina, and it had done a number on my legs. My stomach was cramping and I was discouraged that I felt this bad at mile 13, but Rocky was playing, and how can you not step up to a challenge when that song is pushing you on? As I turned the corner, there was a lone volunteer who said to me, “Now the real runners are coming.” I thought, “If he only knew how much I’m struggling right now he might not say that!” I thought about that statement during the next few miles. All of the runners who trained for the half were as much real runners as I was. I don’t think how many miles you do determines how serious you are about running.

I approached the registration table at a 5k/10K race, and the volunteer said to me, “You’re doing the 10K, right?” I said yes and she added, “I could tell you were a real runner.” Once again the distance seems to be the deciding factor, but some runners are better with shorter distances and speed while some like distance and a slower pace. Both groups are still real runners.

At my first ultramarathon, I didn’t think I was a good enough runner to be there. It didn’t help that many of the runners looked like they ate nails for breakfast, and they were talking about races they had done and even the race names scared me. I soon learned though that there were all types of runners and running abilities at the race. It is now my favorite distance to run, but for years I was afraid to try it. Imagine what I would have missed out on if I had let my fear that I wasn’t a real runner hold me back.

When I tore my meniscus in July I still wanted to participate in 5k races with my friends. I wasn’t able to run at all at that point, and I was happy just to be there. As we walked along, one of the police officers yelled, “Don’t worry, I’d be in the back too if I was out here!” I laughed because I don’t think he had any idea that he wasn’t exactly encouraging us. He also didn’t know any of the stories that were in all the people in the back, and whether you walked the course or ran it, you still did 3 miles more than most people did.

How fast or slow does not determine if you are a real runner. My friend Raleigh has had 2 strokes, a heart operation, and a plethora of other issues. He never complains and anytime he has a health issue he soldiers through it and says it is only temporary. That attitude alone tells me he is a real runner. He has slowed down a bit in the last few years, but he always shows up ready to do his best.

I recently met Tera, a woman who had seriously hurt her shoulder when she fell while hiking. Many people would stop exercising while healing, but Tera took up running. When I met her she said her goal was to do a 5K without walking. Tera is still a real runner even if she walks. Walking now and then can help you run farther, so I’m not sure why so many runners think walking is a sin. Tera is a beast who has grit whether she is walking or not.

Real runners do crazy things sometimes. Raleigh and I asked our friend Sally if she would do a 9-mile race with us. She immediately said yes which would not have been odd except that Sally had not run more than three miles once a week here and there. She did an amazing job, and one of her favorite pictures is when we ran back out, found her, and ran her in. Sally is a real runner.

So, if you are wondering if you qualify as a real runner, I will tell you that if you run, no matter how far or how long, you are a member of the running community because running offers something for everyone and can be tailored to fit your needs. Hold your head high because you are a real runner.

I was talking to a young lady I am tutoring, and her mom and we were talking about the hateful behavior between some people and the drama and angst that this behavior can create. Besides the uncomfortable situation hatefulness can cause, it can also do some significant damage to someone’s self-esteem. It can create a feeling of isolation and loneliness at a time when a young person is forming an identity. The mom and I had a few ideas to give to her daughter as weapons to deflect the hatefulness of others.

Meet hatefulness with kindness because it will confuse them. Don’t drop down to the level of a hater. You won’t feel better about yourself, and it won’t help the situation. Be the better person and maybe the bully will see that the hatefulness does not have the desired effect on you.

Smile a lot so the hater will wonder what you are thinking. Most haters and bullies are looking for attention and a reaction, so don’t give it to her. Stay calm and refuse to let emotions take control.

Do not engage with a hater in a battle of logic because the hater sees things through a different lens. Keep your perspective about the situation and distance yourself as much as you can. If the hatefulness is in written form you can choose not to respond. A hater hates to be ignored.

Take time to recharge every day. People can be exhausting. Do something quiet when you can turn off all the noise around you.

Surround yourself with positive people and realize that quality not quantity counts when it comes to friends.

Tell someone you trust about the interactions in case the situation escalates.

Realize that people do and say some crazy things and it’s usually because of how broken they are. Don’t let them steal your joy.

I believe we are always sent blessings even though we might be too busy or distracted to see some of them. Sometimes those blessings are small things that make a difference in our lives and other times they can be something that takes our breath away. Here is the story of a blessing I was sent.

When I was born, my parents brought home a puppy. This collie named Queenie was with me until she passed when I was thirteen. It would be an understatement to say she was a special animal, and I remember the pain I felt when she passed. I consider Queenie one of my blessings. I always wanted another collie, but the closest I came to having one was a rescue dog named Leo who was a collie/German shepherd mix. He was also a very special dog.

Two years ago, after our dog had passed I was wondering where I should look for our next one. I have always liked to buy my dogs from the shelters, but Covid was making it difficult to go in, and I wasn’t sure where else to look. As I was thinking about it a thought popped into my head that said, “It will come to you.” I thought that was odd, but I decided to wait to see what happened.

One day, I was out running when my neighbor who is a dog trainer pulled up next to me in her car and told me she was going to rescue a border collie. A couple had purchased him as an emotional support dog, but he had too much energy for them. I asked to see the picture and then asked her if I could bring my husband to see him when she came back. John was willing to meet him and we were there when Lynn let him out of the crate. Four months of border collie came running into my arms and my heart was lost. I took his leash and crate and headed for home. John reminded me later that there wasn’t even any discussion. I apologized for that.

It wasn’t until a week later when I was out running that I said to God, “You brought me a collie!” I suddenly remembered the words, “It will come to you.” Bandit has definitely been a crazy mess of energy, but he reads emotions and loves his humans. I am so grateful for this blessing.

There are so many different kinds of fatigue. When you exercise hard your body is tired. When you are solving problems and creating all day at work or home your mind needs rest. Being weary of spirit is a culmination of everything in your life weighing heavily on you, and you temporarily lose the ability to regroup and rise back up to face your challenges.

So many things can contribute to this feeling. You can be discouraged about health or life events and it is compounded by what you see on the news, in social media, the way people treat you, a crumbling friendship, or people disappointing you in general. It all comes together to form the perfect storm of malaise. So what can you do about it? Here are a few things that work for me.

Rest

Few of us rest enough but it can change our mood and improve our health. Even a 15-minute power nap will give you extra energy.

Disconnect

I enjoy watching the news, but I have to take breaks from it when I feel the negativity weighing me down. I put my phone away sometimes, so I am not quite as available to everyone. Social media can wreak havoc on us as well, so consider limiting the time you spend on it.

You might also disconnect from people. Go for a run or walk, or go somewhere you can be alone.

Connect to the positive

Listen to positive podcasts, and funny interviews, and read inspirational readings. It’s hard to stay down when you are laughing.

Say no.

I sometimes feel weary in spirit when I’m helping everyone but myself. It is worse when the help I am giving is disrespected. Occasionally say you are unable to give your time.

Go outside.

There is something healing about being outside. Sit on the porch, work in the garden, or go for a walk.

Do something you love.

You often need to refill your energy tank, and doing what you love can do that.

Be intentional about happiness.

Take the time to reflect on what you need to be happy.

True confession, I am old enough to remember when we did not have cell phones. I had to turn on the radio or play recorded music, drive without GPS, and I had to use a real phone to call people. I am very thankful for the changes that our phones have brought. I have a terrible sense of direction so GPS on a phone is a game changer, I love having music at my fingertips, and communication is so accessible. How important is your cell phone and what are the features you use the most? I have an iPhone and here are the features I use daily.

GPS

I am a very nervous driver and I live near Atlanta where the highways are scary, there are too many one-way streets, and most of them are called Peachtree. Not only does the GPS help someone who is directionally challenged, but you can also set it up to avoid highways. This allows me to drive somewhere without having a death grip on the wheel.

FaceTime

When Covid hit I was teaching and we had some students who were learning from home and would use zoom to join our class. When connectivity was an issue I used FaceTime to connect with the students. It is a great way to connect with family.

The camera

I remember carrying around a bulky camera, but now the phone’s camera takes professional photos and you can load an app like Walgreen’s Picprint to have photos developed. There is another great app called the camera timer. You can prop up your phone and set it to take the picture in 10 seconds and strike a pose! You can take a picture of an important document, or send documents to others.

Notes

There are so many times when I think of something important, but I don’t have a pen and paper, so notes are perfect. You can also make your to-do lists.

Pacer

Before I had my Garmin watch I used the Pacer app to keep track of my steps.

Mail

It is so convenient to have easy access to mail. Of course, easy access can also mean you spend too much time checking it.

Other Apps

It is also convenient to add apps that will make your life easier. You can watch movies, read books, and listen to music with one device.

Our phones have become important to our daily doings, but we can’t forget that our relationships with our loved ones should trump our interaction with a machine every time, so make sure that we focus on the people in our lives as much as we focus on the phones.

have always believed in the expression that out of bad comes good, but I am also famous for saying that if I couldn’t run I would be a mess. That last statement was tested when my beautiful Border Collie hit my leg at full speed. When the MRI results came back and I told my husband it said I had a torn meniscus and a baker’s cyst I swear he turned pale because he knows how much I love to run. All he said was, “Oh.” I think we were both surprised by what happened in the coming months. Here are some of the positives that happened while rehabbing.

· I had a different ultra-experience. I had an ultra-marathon scheduled shortly after the MRI and because my orthopedist decided I did not need surgery, he told me I could walk the ultra, but when I felt the knee getting angry I needed to stop. The ultra was run by a wonderful family, and I had gotten to know them during the ultra the year before. The difference this year was I wasn’t really concerned with how many miles I could cover. I only wanted to do my best, and since I was only walking some of the family walked with me and filled me in on all their news. I also made a few new connections with runners who were also walking. I took more breaks than usual and sat while I ate and drank. I have a friend who loves to run 100-mile races, and he told me that if I gave my body a chance to recover with rest breaks, I could go further. I only made it 28 miles before I knew I needed to stop because the knee was indeed angry.

· I observed more of what was around me. My husband and I went to Paris for our fortieth anniversary. I was a French teacher, I lived in France, and I have visited there often. One of my favorite things to do in the morning is to run in the Luxembourg Gardens. My husband loves to walk, so he was excited that we would be able to do that together. As we wandered through the garden I saw quite a few things I had never noticed on my runs. I noticed they have bee hives, the vineyards there are for apple and pear wines, and they offer gardening classes. My husband was fascinated by all the statues and had questions about the art and history behind them. He loved the French lifestyle that he saw through the people in the gardens. We stopped and talked with teachers and students doing a treasure hunt, and we sat and watched a bocce game. Taking things a little slower helped me to see more.

· I saw races from a different view. In the early days of rehabbing, I couldn’t run at all, but I still wanted to do the races with my friends, so I went to the back and walked. I have always said that the best race stories are in the back of the back. This is where you find people with grit. They might be struggling with something, but they are going to come out and exercise anyways.

· I felt the power of a positive attitude. There were a few setbacks where I became frustrated because I wasn’t healing as fast as I wanted, but I tried to stay positive. It helped when another friend who was also injured said to me, “ It’s o.k. Jen. We are going to come back stronger.” On the days when I started to feel down, I kept repeating that.

· I needed reminding that I need to take care of all the parts. Everything in our body has an effect on the whole, so it’s important to take care of the whole machine, not only the part that’s broken. I know that is different for everyone, but for me, strength training and stretching helped. (Also lots of KT tape!)

· Less can be more. I am an over exerciser mostly because I love to be outside, but too much exercise can take a toll and at 64 my machine probably needs more rest. I can achieve fitness at 20 miles a week instead of the 40 I was doing and throw in some cross-training to help.

· I should mix up my fitness routine. I have always thought if I didn’t run then I didn’t exercise, but the injury helped me to cross-train more and I realize that by doing that I can strengthen different muscles.

I am about 90% recovered now after six months. I can run five miles without any knee support and feel stronger daily. I am even more grateful for the gift of running, and I know my injury taught me valuable lessons.