After 40 years of teaching and raising three children, I think a lot about what is important to teach our children. I know it is important to be exposed to a variety of subjects, but I also hope we spend time teaching our children life skills. We can often incorporate those skills into the core subjects. An example would be to have a gardening unit in a biology class to teach students about plant growth, the wonder of nature, and how to grow our food.

Remember when home economics and woodshop were standard classes? During the last five years that I was teaching, students often commented they wished those classes were still offered because they wanted to learn the basic skills those classes offered. I always like to ask what is the why in learning something and the reasons to teach courses like those two are still valid.

Our children need to learn the basics of finance and how to manage their money. Knowing the basics of sewing a hole in a sock or other article of clothing is still useful, and the basic skills of cooking will always be useful.

Why would someone learn woodworking? When our children are on their own, they will need to know how to make basic repairs or spend way too much to have someone else fix it. Knowing how to fix things around the house can make life a lot easier.

Everyone should know basic car maintenance. Teach them how to change a tire, check tire pressure, check fluids, and have a plan if they break down.

Self-defense classes should be required for everyone not only to learn how to defend themselves, but to learn how to diffuse a situation before they have to defend themselves, and to be aware of their environment. It is also an amazing workout.

Encourage travel because it is a fun way to learn about history, food, and culture in general. We can start to understand each other more if we experience other cultures and people. There are other cultures within our own country, so I am not only talking about travel outside the United States.

Teach politeness. It makes me sad when I encounter rudeness. Being polite is a basic form of respect and it requires very little effort, but it can make a huge difference in our interactions.

Encourage a positive attitude because it can change everything. It can attract both good things and people while negative energy can be corrosive.

Teach the power of curiosity. Let your children explore and ask questions. Give them opportunities to try new things.

Teach grit. We need to learn to keep rising back up after failure and realize that failure often makes us stronger. Being soft and coddled isn’t always the best.

Be a model for kindness. When each of my children was born I asked God to help me make them good people. I wanted to know that above all else they were kind.

Also, be a model of taking care of mental and physical health. Many of us take care of everyone else but ourselves. If we take care of ourselves we can do a better job caring for everyone else.

What did your parents think was important for you to learn? My mom wanted me to learn to swim and be physically active. I was determined to pass that on to my children as well. My dad taught me a strong work ethic, and he wanted me to treat people well.

Finally, I would say that it is important to be a life-long learner. Don’t ever think you are too old to learn something new. Stay curious and open-minded.

What do I have to do to be a successful writer? I have asked myself the same question multiple times during my writing career, and I have concluded that the key element is patience. Most writers do not achieve success overnight, and it can be difficult to make the money we would like to, but patience and remembering why we write can help. Here are some situations when patience comes in handy.

Finding followers

Many writing platforms require you to have a certain number of followers in order to be paid, and that can sometimes feel like it takes forever. Interact and encourage other writers, respond to comments, and write consistently and you will earn followers faster. Maintain a presence.

Creating a writer’s Footprint

This was some of the best advice I received when I first started writing. It means that you should be easy to find especially if a publisher or editor wants to see your work. You need patience to build your footprint, but it will happen. I knew I had achieved the goal when my youngest said, “Mom, I googled your name, and you came up under news.” I had written quite a bit for the local media. I did a lot of writing for free which also requires patience because we all deserve to be paid for the work we do.

Comments

Some writing platforms are very encouraging and supportive, but I write for one in particular where I do not always have the strength to read the comments because some are hateful or don’t pertain at all to the topic. I wrote an article about why we have Christmas lights and the comments ranged from racial slurs to political leanings. I read them to my daughters who both said, “This was about Christmas lights, right?” It actually helped me because instead of taking comments personally now, I remember how outlandish these were, and I try to be patient and just say, “Bless their hearts.”

Rejection

Most writers have days when they want to throw in the towel because they can’t seem to find the success they want. Remember to be patient because after all the rejections, one yes can change it all. Also remember that each rejection is only one voice, one opinion of your work. Keep going and your patience will pay off.

We all have things that hold us back in some way, but bad health can hold us hostage. The more serious effects of poor health can limit one’s ability to work, reduce economic opportunity, inhibit educational attainment, and lead to medical debt and bankruptcy. It can diminish your ability to interact with family and participate in activities. Your quality of life can suffer. How much does bad health really affect our lives?

The National Library of Medicine lists seven vital conditions for good health. One of them lists the basic needs for health and safety as adequate air and water, nutritious food, routine physical activity, sufficient sleep, and routine healthcare. How many of us cannot say that we make sure we meet those basic requirements? One of the things we can do to improve our health is to make sure we are exercising enough. Here are a few reasons why exercise is important and possibly life-changing.

· Exercise can improve balance. When I injured my knee part of my physical therapy included balance exercises. My therapist told me how important exercise is to improve our balance to help us from falling and injuring ourselves.

· It increases bone density and decreases the risk of injury. I am going to do anything that keeps me healthy for longer.

· Exercise increases your energy. I hear people comment all the time that after they started exercising they felt better and had more energy to do activities with loved ones.

· Decreases negative effects of stress. Running has saved my mental health. Whenever I have a problem I lace up my sneakers and run. I can feel the stress falling off behind me.

· Exercise can help you sleep better. When you have less stress, and you feel better sleep will come easier.

· Exercise helps you connect your body and mind. I do my best thinking when I’m moving.

· Exercise offers opportunities to connect to your community. Join a gym or an exercise club. Go to local events. My friends and I go to a race almost every weekend, and it’s more about meeting new people and having breakfast after.

Starting an exercise program can seem overwhelming for many reasons. You have to make peace with the mental aspects before you can tackle the physical challenge. Realize that most people will want to support you no matter where you are in your health journey, and you may be an inspiration for someone who is thinking of starting her own journey. Also, know that no matter where you show up there will be other people at the same stage you are. Here are a few things that might make an exercise program easier.

· Ask for help from experts.

· See the why behind starting to exercise.

· Give yourself grace when you have a bad day.

· Keep it fun.

· Stay as consistent as possible.

· Make a motivational board with goals.

· Have a strong attitude.

Exercise has made a huge difference in my life. It has allowed me to be practically medication-free at 65, I feel amazing, and my blood pressure and pulse are always low because exercise allows me to work off any stress. Most of my friends are runners, and I met them at races, or through other runners. The exercise community is full of wonderful, encouraging people. I hope you will try exercise in whatever form suits you, and I hope it sets you free by improving both your mental and physical health.

It can’t hurt to make some simple changes to see what exercise can do to enhance your life.

I want to talk to you about the power of a positive start to every day and how you can make that happen. How you start your day can set the tone, affect your emotions and change how your day will go. If you start the day with negative energy for example by arguing with a family member, your mood will start out negatively and that tends to cloud whatever else you do. If you are intentional about being positive, it can change everything. Even when negative things happen, if you treat them with a sense of humor you can turn the moment around. Here are a few ways to start the day right. Everyone is different, so I hope you can find something that works for you.

• Wake up before everyone else and enjoy the quiet in the house.
• Read a daily dose of inspiration. You can find some on Pinterest if you type in positive thoughts. Share it with someone and discuss it.
• Get out in nature and sit and take it in.
• Get out in nature and move. Exercise will wake you up, and you are doing something good for your health.
• Manifest how you want the day to be. You can use sentences like, “Today will be amazing.” “I will be at my best today.” “Only good things will happen today.” “I will keep becoming better.”
• Do acts of kindness. Helping others makes you feel good.
• Pray. I always say the same prayer. “Lord, help me to be the best I can be. Help me with the right words to lift people up and not tear them down.”

I hope you will give this exercise in positivity a try, and I am hoping it will work for you.

I have started using Patreon as a way to generate income and support my writing. One of my friends who is an artist makes around $4,000 a month through this platform, but I’m not sure if I will be as successful with writing. Has anyone else used it? How have you found success? I would love your support. Here is the link. https://patreon.com/jenniferbonn?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=join_link

I know I am not the only person who has a partner who snores the night away while I try to fall asleep despite the racket. Some nights are worse than others, and on the worse nights, I start the day exhausted. When I tell my husband he kept me awake he tells me to nudge him so he will stop, but I would rather sleep than constantly nudge someone.

We often think snoring is something that we all do, and over 90 million Americans say they snore, but it can be because of excess weight, sleep apnea, or a deviated septum. Ask your partner to check with a healthcare provider because two people are having their health affected. So what are the options if you love a snorer? Here are a few ideas.

Earplugs

I have a friend who has used earplugs for years and claims it saved her marriage. Research and see if a pair might work for you.

White noise

There are many white noise machines as well as options on your phone, or you can use a box fan to cancel out noise.

An anti-snoring mouthpiece

This gently moves the jaw forward to open the airway.

An anti-snore wristband

This gently pulses to relieve snoring. It shifts your body for better airflow without waking you up.

Anti-snoring pillow

It aligns the neck, head, and spine to reduce snoring.

Nose strips

There are nose strips you can use to open the airways.

Good luck! I am hoping something on the list works for you. I am going to go take a nap without my snorer.

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Do you ever feel the need to downplay accomplishments when you wish you could celebrate them more? Do you receive a less than enthusiastic reception when you try to celebrate them? Do people stop listening when you talk about the things you love? Many people would reply yes to all of these questions, but why should we hide our shine?

The first answer to that is in our society we see expressing success as bragging, so we want everyone to work hard to succeed but not tell us about it because others might feel bad that they have not found the same success. The first time I heard this concept I was in the doctor’s office. My husband and I have the same doctor. My husband had recently had a small stroke, and although the doctor at the hospital told him to exercise and lose weight, he was not doing it. I asked our doctor to talk to him. He said to me, “Jen, you run marathons. He can’t compete with you, so he does nothing.” I couldn’t wrap my head around that because I didn’t feel we were competing. I wanted us to work together.

That is where we have the problem and the solution. There is so much competition and comparison on social media that we don’t like hearing about someone’s success. If we only lifted each other up and shared our joy we might have stronger mental health. We all deserve to feel joy in our success.

If you are around a group of people who don’t see your light, and who don’t want to hear about what fills you up, it might be time to find a new crew who appreciates you. Each individual should be valued for what brings you a feeling of peace and happiness. When someone tries to dim that light move your energy somewhere else.

We spend so much time trying to please others and we let ourselves down and settle for less while we do it. Find your joy, do what fills you, and surround yourself with the people who recognize your value.    

It’s a normal response to think that rest and inactivity will help when we have an injury or other health setback, but it turns out that it is better to keep it moving even if you have to moderate or alter your activity. I had two recent experiences where this was the case.

Ten years ago, when I strained my knee running the message I heard from my doctor and my chiropractor was to stay off my knee and rest it. My orthopedist told me all runners were crazy and I needed to start biking, and he added that my running days were over, but my physical therapist showed me how to keep going to protect myself from injury.

Even that amazing woman couldn’t protect me from my border collie colliding with my knee last summer on its path to the Frisbee, tearing my meniscus. The message for healing from everyone was very different this time. Although the MRI tech told me I should try biking, everyone else told me to keep moving to keep the blood flowing.

I heard the keep it moving message during COVID too. It had been about a month since having COVID and I could not shake the crushing fatigue. I called the doctor who knew I was a runner expecting him to tell me to rest, but he told me to push myself to my physical limits because I was tired because I wasn’t getting enough oxygen. I will always remember him saying, “Don’t let this thing win.”

You can change the message slightly for your health to say don’t let age or sickness, or any type of poor health win. Keep it moving to stay strong enough to face any challenge.

Mother’s Day is a chance for us to thank the woman who gave birth to us and had the patience to raise us. Social media will be filled with pictures of families enjoying time celebrating the matriarch. There will be flowers, great food, and presents.

All of those celebrations are expected, but what if your mother is no longer alive? I hope you will join me in cherishing the memories even if you can’t have her next to you. Answer the following questions to help refresh your memory. I will add my answers and I hope that between my answers and yours, you will be smiling in no time.

What was her laughter like?

My mom would start with a very quiet, “Ha, ha.” that then turned into belly laughs.

What was the most important part of your relationship?

She gave me unconditional love, and she thought I could do no wrong. She would have stood up for me no matter what.

What did she teach you?

Mine taught me so many things. I can hear her voice giving me advice all the time. At a recent trail race, I was caught on a mountain in a thunder and lightning storm, and I could hear her saying, “Don’t be up high, near trees, and never, ever be in the water in a lightning storm.” She taught me to swim and skate, but she did the best job teaching me spirituality. Faith was a big priority to her, and I am so grateful to her for teaching me that.

What did she like to do?

My mom’s love language was food. She loved to cook and to feed people. My nephew said he spent so much time at our house because there was always food. She knew food was love. She loved large family gatherings.

What are some random memories?

She was always dressed up and would never leave the house without makeup, earrings, and lots of hairspray. She used Jean Nate for perfume. She couldn’t drink coke because it gave her hiccups. She was a master gardener. She spied on the neighbors because they were very interesting. She said she wanted to make sure they were o.k.

How did she change your life?

Both my parents were very strict, but my mom let me find my own way. She didn’t try to influence my decision except for where I went to school. Our public schools were not very good, so my mom worked two jobs so I could go to private schools. At one time, I said I wanted to go to public school, and she told me I was going to stay where I was. My education made a huge difference.

This Mother’s Day, even if your mom is not with you remember the time you spent together.