I was talking to a young lady I am tutoring, and her mom and we were talking about the hateful behavior between some people and the drama and angst that this behavior can create. Besides the uncomfortable situation hatefulness can cause, it can also do some significant damage to someone’s self-esteem. It can create a feeling of isolation and loneliness at a time when a young person is forming an identity. The mom and I had a few ideas to give to her daughter as weapons to deflect the hatefulness of others.

Meet hatefulness with kindness because it will confuse them. Don’t drop down to the level of a hater. You won’t feel better about yourself, and it won’t help the situation. Be the better person and maybe the bully will see that the hatefulness does not have the desired effect on you.

Smile a lot so the hater will wonder what you are thinking. Most haters and bullies are looking for attention and a reaction, so don’t give it to her. Stay calm and refuse to let emotions take control.

Do not engage with a hater in a battle of logic because the hater sees things through a different lens. Keep your perspective about the situation and distance yourself as much as you can. If the hatefulness is in written form you can choose not to respond. A hater hates to be ignored.

Take time to recharge every day. People can be exhausting. Do something quiet when you can turn off all the noise around you.

Surround yourself with positive people and realize that quality not quantity counts when it comes to friends.

Tell someone you trust about the interactions in case the situation escalates.

Realize that people do and say some crazy things and it’s usually because of how broken they are. Don’t let them steal your joy.


  1. Jennifer, this is an excellent article. Is there a way I can share this as a post on Facebook? Debbie

    Sent from my iPad



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