Jennifer’s writing

We are going through some crazy times right now, and even though it isn’t the first time that our world has thrown the same issues at us, we can feel battered and bruised. I hope we are never numb to injustice or loss of life or the myriad of issues we need to solve as humans, but I also know that we can confront everything the best when we can also find some healing. Considering everything going on in the world today, we need to tap into our resources. Here are a few simple ways to find some calm and relief before stepping back into the struggle to improve the issues.

Disconnect occasionally

We are barraged by information from all sides, and it often is a conflicting message. Social media compounds the problem by adding or attacking opinions. If you feel emotions strongly like I do, you can be overwhelmed by everything that people reveal.

Find the quiet

Even the most outgoing, positive, sociable person needs a quiet place to escape from time to time. You can turn your commute in the morning into a chance to listen to music, reflect, or bask in quiet. Books are the ultimate escape. Being outside is therapeutic. Whether you go for a walk, sit on your porch, or swing in a hammock, taking in the beauty around you is calming.

Cook something

There is something soothing about preparing food, and eating it afterward is always fun.

Listen to music

Music is a healer. I listen to the message, or simply let it wash over me. I always feel better.

Sleep

Sometimes the best answer to being worn out mentally and physically is to curl up and sleep. A good nap can restore you.

When I make renewal a regular practice, it changes my attitude toward everything else I do.

Retro summer activities

Our budgets are stretched with high gas prices and grocery bills, so if we can find something for free it is a bonus. I was talking with my husband about all the activities available in the summer and we started to talk about what we did in the summer growing up and we agreed that all of those are still fun, so I am giving you some ideas from my past for free summer fun.

Find a swimming hole

Most towns have a place to swim that only the locals know about and of course it is the best place to go. Where I grew up there was a public lake where both locals and tourists went, but there was also a lake on top of a mountain where only the locals went. It was so clean and beautiful, and the locals made sure to keep it that way. Find the spot to go swimming near you.

Locate a creek

The creek isn’t for swimming, it’s for putting your feet in cold water while your dogs and children play nearby. My two oldest could play near our creek for hours looking for creatures and staying cool. We have a local park with a creek in the back, so you never know where you might find one.

Picnic

All you need is a blanket, your favorite food and drink, and a pretty place to eat it. The best is when everyone picks out their favorite food at the store and then everyone puts the food out to share. Make sure you remember dessert.

Go barefoot

There is something so relaxing about walking barefoot in summer. Make sure you move up the hot steps extra fast though.

Porch stories

After dinner, sit on the porch and tell stories. Invite your neighbors over to join you.

Water balloon fights

What could be better on hot days than water balloons? You will laugh, get some exercise, and cool off at the same time.

Frozen root beer

Put some mason jars in the freezer for a few hours and then fill them with root beer, or root beer and ice cream.

Chase fireflies

Even at my age, I still love seeing fireflies in the summer. Find some cups and let your children catch them and then let them go. Our neighbor’s dog eats them, so that’s an issue.

Take a nap in the porch swing

Summer is great for early evening naps on the porch.

My last memory of things I loved about summer is watching thunderstorms. We had a carport, so it was safe to watch them outside. My dad and I would watch the storm come over the mountain. When it was done, we would watch the steam rise like clouds from the rain.    

There are several things I always want to have around either because they have multi-purpose uses, or I use them so often. Here is my list of essential everyday items.

A first aid kit

My husband was surprised when he found out I had one of these in my classroom. He said, “You teach them French. How do they hurt themselves conjugating verbs?” I had to tell him that I had at least two people ask me for a band-aid every day, and I have learned not to ask too many questions. Every house needs basic first aid items which for me are band-aids, antibiotic cream, and Benadryl spray to relieve the itch from bug bites. Because I don’t pick my feet up much when I run, trail races require a med kit because my feet will find every root and rock out there. I have fallen so often that my friends ask me if I brought the med kit if we are running trails.

Baking soda

This is one of the multi-purpose items. You can brush your teeth with it, clean things, use it to deodorize your fridge, and bake with it! I’m sure I left a few things off the list.

Vaseline

When you run long distances, your clothes can chafe you. After my first marathon, I had a line of bloody skin under the bottom of my sports bra. That is not pleasant when you hop into the shower. Vaseline can act as a barrier, and it is much cheaper than the body glide that running stores sell. Vaseline is wonderful as a lip balm or for chapped skin in winter. It is also useful if your rings are stuck on your finger.

Duct tape

This is another multi-purpose item. It can hold a box together, repair furniture, or mark a space on the floor. There is even a competition to make clothing out of duct tape.

Coffee

There are mornings when the thought of a steaming cup of coffee can get me out of bed. It is a comfortable way to start the day.  

Animals

I will always have at least one animal in my house. They make me laugh, calm me, and give me love.

I love summer food. I think it tastes fresher and has more taste. I especially love eating what comes out of the garden. What are your favorite summer foods? Here are a few of mine.

Anything cooked on the grill

When I think of summer food, the first thing that comes to mind is cooking on the grill. It doesn’t matter what you prefer to eat on the grill, it all tastes better and it smells amazing as it is cooking.

Corn on the cobb

One of my worst summers was when I had braces and couldn’t eat corn on the cob. It is still one of my favorite foods, but it tastes sweeter in the summer.

Watermelon

I still am not sure how to pick a ripe watermelon even though I will pick it up in the market and sniff it as if I know, but I have never bought one that doesn’t taste amazing. You can eat as much of it as you want without any guilt.

Cucumbers

I can eat the small cucumbers that have come straight from the garden all day. I cut them down the middle and sprinkle salt and pepper on them.

Popsicles

The great thing about popsicles is you can make them with anything you want. Pour the liquid into a popsicle mold, put it in the freezer, and voilà you have a cool treat.

Ice cream

When the temperatures rise, ice cream is there to cool us down. We used to have an ice cream truck that would come to our street every Saturday. When we heard that bell, everyone would lose their mind and start yelling, “Ice cream!!” as we all ran for the street.

Strawberries

We love to go strawberry picking and it is my favorite fruit, but my true confession is that I like the fried pies at the orchard even more than the strawberries.

Blueberries

We bought a blueberry plant two years ago and this is the first year that it has produced fruit, so I call it the blueberry twig instead of a bush. I love the taste of fresh fruit.

Potato salad

There are so many versions of this dish. My favorite is light on the mayonnaise with some tiny bits of carrots mixed in it.

S’mores

These are perfect around the fire at night after the children chase the fireflies.

One of the men who went to my gym had won a 5k the Saturday before, so I asked him, “What is your advice for running fast?” He replied, “You have to run fast.” Now, I could have been offended by the terse reply, and the condescending tone it was delivered in, but he did have a point. If you want to run fast, you have to put in the time to train your body to be fast. There are runners who are just naturally fast. I have a friend who is super-fast and only runs when he races. Most of us need a little more training than that.

I was a cross-country coach for many years, and I know what worked to make my runners faster. Let me share a few ideas with you.

Run hills

If you can find a short loop where you are running flat for a while, then have an uphill, downhill, and back to the flat, you have an ideal way to run hills. A loop like that gives you a chance to build up momentum for the hill, then as you crest the hill you have some time to rest before climbing the hill again.

Run long

Running long builds endurance and makes the shorter runs seem easy.

Run races

I use running races on the weekend as my speed work. It is fun, I can ask elite athletes questions, and I can work on speed and pacing.

Do fartleks

Fartleks are runs where you run fast for a while and then run slow.

Do tempo runs

Tempo runs are when you run at a consistent pace the whole run. It will train your body to endure the stress of that pace. I would hop on a treadmill at the gym and set it for the pace I wanted. I would run it as long as I could and then I would reduce the speed. I would repeat the pattern as long as I could.

We all want to be fast but remember that rest plays a big role too. Listen to your body and take a day off when you need it.

Life can throw some stressful situations at us as most of us are trying to multitask throughout our day. It is not always easy to maintain a sense of peace and calm, but I would like to suggest a few ways you might be able to destress a little.

Exercise

Movement is a great way to release emotions and calm your mind. A simple walk will do the trick. When I am running, I use the time to problem solve and it is also a time when I am the most creative. I often have to run inside to write down an idea. I also can release anger, anxiety, or frustration by letting them fall off behind me.

Music

Music can be a motivator and a calming influence. There are certain songs I like to listen to if I need to find some calm. My favorite is I can only imagine by Mercy Me. Those piano chords start playing and I can feel the stress melt away. If I had a tough day and I feel battered and bruised, I need something to motivate me. I do not like to give up or give in, so I love In my blood by Shawn Mendes. Make a playlist to fit your moods.

Laugh

I cannot stay stressed when I start laughing. I feel the same way when I hear a child’s laughter or the type of laughter that is contagious. Do you have someone in your life that makes you laugh until your stomach hurts? That is my oldest daughter for me, and it also happened with my oldest sister. We only have to look at each other, and then hilarity ensues.

Dance it out

If you don’t dance in the kitchen to your choice of music while you sing at the top of your lungs, (sometimes the wrong words!) you might want to try it. It doesn’t matter if you are a terrible dancer like I am, just have fun.

Sleep

I become a different person if I am tired or hungry. Rest can do wonders for stress management.

Eat great food

Do you ever feel yourself relax when you sit down to eat a great meal? Good food is soothing.

Play with animals

Pets have a way of soothing our stress. They only want to be loved and love us back, and they don’t judge us or argue with us.

Disconnect

Take some time away from social media, e-mail, and the news. Spend some time in quiet.

My children like to say which parent gave them certain traits and characteristics. All three of my children suffer from different levels of anxiety and they correctly point the finger at me for passing it on to them. My husband is easygoing, he doesn’t worry about much, and I would describe the way he deals with his day as he takes what the day gives him and does his best with it. I am jealous of him because I can worry about anything, be nervous about what I say and do, and generally fight anxiety. My animals know how to calm me though.

I have two cats and a dog, and I am so blessed to have them because they are loving and full of personality. They make me laugh and they make me feel peaceful. Here are a few examples of how they help me.

I am wired to be productive or to feel guilty that I am not doing enough. That means that from the time I wake up to the time I go to bed, I am doing something, and not sitting still for long. I know I should rest more, but the minute I do, I start to think about what I should be doing. My cats are helping me start my morning a little slower because when I come into the kitchen, they both come running and asking for my attention. I have started to take a few minutes each morning to sit with them while they curl up next to me and purr. It calms me down to take a few minutes before my day starts. When I let my dog out of his crate, he doesn’t bolt for the door, he comes straight to me, licks my face, and rolls over so I can rub his belly. His loving personality calms me too. When I take him out, he waits at the top of the stairs for me with that look of, “C’mon, adventure awaits!”.

When I sit down to work, my office has three animals who want to be in the same room as me. I hear Bandit crunching on a bone, Lowkey is snoring, and Sophie is lying on her back in the sun. It is calming to know they are all keeping me company.

When I sit down at night to read, or watch television, I have to become situated quickly because Bandit will be dropping the tennis ball at my feet to throw, and the cats will be climbing into my lap. It is a quiet, calm way to end the day. Thank goodness for the calm that animals can bring to our lives.  

I have been married for forty years. It has not always been an easy adventure, but I would pick the same man again in a heartbeat. I have felt every emotion and become stronger through both the trials and the love. I know I have learned a great deal about maintaining a positive relationship. Allow me to share a few of these thoughts with you.

Don’t rush into marriage

Take your time to get to know your partner before you are married. My husband and I waited for two years until we were done with college and had begun our jobs. Become friends first before you become life partners.

Talk about the deal breakers

There are certain topics you should discuss before marriage. Some of those are money and how you will manage it, do you want children, religion, and living arrangements. You don’t want to have a surprise deal-breaker where you realize you never discussed how you felt about it.

Support your partner

I am always sad when I hear someone denigrating a partner in public. You should be able to feel that when everyone else seems against you, your partner will be your support. If you don’t agree on something, discuss it together in private. Don’t humiliate the person you profess to love. Encourage them to pursue dreams and passions.

Don’t expect to change your partner

Don’t marry someone as if he is a fixer-upper. You should love your partner for who he is, not who he could be.

Learn to compromise and pick your battles

Marriage involves a give and take. Sometimes you have to compromise. Also, realize that every issue is not a capital offense. Know when to plant the flag, and when to calmly talk it out.

Make time to date each other

You need time to date each other and spend time having fun. We have a date night each week, and we still love spending time with each other.

Build and maintain trust

Be honest with each other. Secrets are never good for a marriage.

Laugh together

There is no greater medicine than laughter. Have fun together and see the humor around you.

Apologize when you are wrong

I’m sorry is not always easy to say, but it can be very healing.

Exercise doesn’t have to be a chore. What if we see it more as playing instead of exercising? If we can find something we enjoy doing, maybe we can do it more consistently, and therefore see more benefits. The summer allows us to be outside more, and to be more active. Here are ten easy ways to exercise so that you will have fun but keep moving.

Pickleball

This sport combines elements of tennis, badminton, and ping-pong. It is easy for beginners to learn, it’s fun, and you can get a great workout. Here is a quick description of the sport.

Walk the dog

Why not multitask by taking out the dog and getting your exercise at the same time? Walk around the neighborhood and catch up with the neighbors while you burn some calories. Take a few extra laps because it is so beautiful out.

Dance in the kitchen

You can dance in any room with enough space to move, but in my house, it was always the kitchen. Put on some upbeat music and danse around the room. You will be breathless in no time. There is also something about dancing that puts you in a good mood.

Play frisbee

Where I live, disc golf has become hugely popular. There is a nearby park with a disc golf course and it is always crowded. You can also just throw the Frisbee to your dog, your friend, or just practice your technique by yourself.

Have a water balloon battle

You can divide into teams or play every man for himself. Make rules or play with none. It’s a chance to run around, laugh, and cool off.

Ride a bike

I love to ride my bike, but I enjoy cruising around my neighborhood. I don’t need to go on a trail or be in a race. Summer is a time to move a little slower, so I am never in a hurry on my bike.

Go for a swim

You don’t have to do laps to reap the benefits of swimming. Swim around, play pool volleyball, float on your back, or do tricks off the diving board.

Jump rope

This is actually a very effective workout. See how many times you can jump without the rope hitting your legs. Have competitions with friends.

Play on the playground

Swinging, running up the stairs of the slides, and doing the other activities can be a workout. Use benches to do pushups or triceps dips.

Play a childhood game

What games did you play when you were little? I played red light, green light, kick the can, dodge ball, hide and seek, and tag. Have some friends over and play the games from your childhood.

If you watch children, they rarely walk everywhere. They are running or skipping, and they are ready to play any game. Make your exercise something you can look forward to doing, and instead of dreading it, you might do it more, and feel better as a result. Have fun!

When we brought our dog Bandit home, I was nervous about whether he would get along with the cats. He was a ball of energy, and the cats are more into lying in the sun and eating treats. Our last dog tolerated the cats until he thought they were in his territory or receiving too much attention. As I walked with Bandit toward the house I thought, “Oh, they are not going to be happy with me.” Bandit chased the smaller cat when he first saw her and she ran, but when he chased the older, bigger cat, Lowkey stood his ground and seemed to be saying, “Dude, what is your problem? You need to bring it down a level.”

It only took about a week for the chasing to stop and I think he was only doing it because he was excited to play. I was so glad that they all got along, and I didn’t expect more than that, but then I noticed something unexpected started to happen. Lowkey and Bandit were becoming friends. I have always wondered if Lowkey thinks he’s a dog, but I still didn’t expect anything beyond tolerance. Let me tell you what I saw.

At first, I noticed Bandit eating his bone and lying next to Lowkey in the sun, but then I saw that Lowkey had decided to groom Bandit’s head. Bandit had such a look of pleasure on his face while lowkey licked his head. Lowkey would stop and Bandit would stick his head back under Lowkey. If Lowkey refused Bandit would lift his paw to get his attention, and then Lowkey would swat him as something sweet turned ugly. It was a love, hate relationship for a while, but they have since worked out the bathing details.

In the morning, when I let Bandit out of his crate, Lowkey saunters into the room to say hello, and I have to make sure to give attention to both.

When one decides to get a drink of water, the other instantly comes over to share a drink. I love coming into a room to see them looking out the window together. I never thought I would see a friendship between these two.