Jennifer’s writing

Parenting is hard enough when everything is going well, but when your child becomes ill, you are faced with the perfect storm. There is the fear involved with seeing your child ill, the stress of wondering how to best care for your child, and the need to balance work and a child who does not feel well. Here are a few ideas to help you weather those moments when your child is under the weather.

Don’t feel bad about calling the doctor.

When my first child was born, we went to the doctor’s office several times in the first week because I was so afraid I was not going to take good care of her. My doctor said, “Maybe you should find a doctor that lives closer to you if you are going to come in this often.” I don’t think she was trying to be hateful, but that crushed me and made me feel guilty. Looking back at that moment, I was right to go to the doctor because it calmed my fears as a new mom. New moms are adjusting to parenthood, lack of sleep, and a host of emotions. I would counsel that better safe than sorry is the right way to go. These days you can call the nurse practitioner and ask your questions.

Talk to other moms

The mom network is amazing. My daughter struggled with many of the issues that new moms struggle with, and it helped that she developed a group thread with other new moms, so they could share what was happening.

You can blame most everything on teething

Imagine what it must be like to have teeth poking through. Teething can cause fevers, diarrhea, and other issues. Buy a teething ring and put it in the fridge and let the baby suck on that.

Be prepared

There are certain tried and true strategies for helping sick babies. A bulb syringe is a must-have for congestion. Cold washcloths to keep fevers down, and snuggling are all helpful. Pedialyte is great to have on hand but check with your doctor first.

Ask for help

If you have family nearby, see if they can come and help with simple tasks like groceries, or laundry.

Know that you will probably catch it too.

My grandson had a stomach bug last month, and it worked its way through to my daughter, my son-in-law, my granddaughter, and then my husband and myself. We said it was the gift that kept on giving.

Remember that this too will pass

There are times when you are so exhausted from caring for a baby and taking care of logistics because of illness that you are not sure you can go on, but you will make it and be stronger with each experience.

Superman was powerful and could fly, but kryptonite sapped him of his powers and made him weak. We all have our own forms of kryptonite that hold us back or affect us negatively. What are yours and how do you eliminate their power over you?

Anxiety is a roadblock for many people. If you have social anxiety, a day at work can leave you exhausted. Do your best to surround yourself with people who don’t drain your energy and take breaks during the day to be on your own.

Negativity can leave you feeling tense and tired. Find positive people and be with them as much as you can.

Emotions can wreck your composure. I love listening to people and trying to help them, but at a certain moment, I need to step away.

Fears can hold you back from fully enjoying some things. What if your family wants to go to the top of the Empire State Building, but you have a fear of heights? Are you afraid of driving to places where you have never been? If I drive on the interstate, you will have to pry my fingers from the steering wheel when I come home because it makes me so tense.

Sensitivity is an issue for me. I have such a vivid imagination that there are certain books I cannot read and movies I cannot watch. I think Jodi Picoult is an amazing author, but I cannot read any more of her books because they haunt me. I still find myself thinking about her book, Nineteen minutes, even though I read it years ago. I also cannot watch a movie where a child or a dog is hurt. Old Yeller was traumatic for me!

I’m sure there are many more forms of kryptonite, and I hope you can find the remedy for all of them!

Music can set a mood, motivate us, soothe our sadness, and give us something to dance to when we are happy. There are also those songs that we can relate to because we think they are made just for us. Songs are stories we can interpret in our own way while we make the song more personal. So, what song do you relate to the most? Which one tells your story?

Would you pick something like Bruno Mars and 24K Magic because Life for you is a big party? Would you prefer a more spiritual story with Believe by Brooks and Dunn, or Something in the Water by Carrie Underwood? Do you find your story in Christian music with bands like Mercy Me, Third Day, or Casting Crowns? Does Imperfections by Céline Dion remind you that everyone has their faults? If you are struggling with a relationship, you might like Nine Track Mind by Charlie Puth, or You Don’t Bring Me Flowers by Barbara Streisand and Neil Diamond. Does fighter by Christina Aguilera describe how you have become stronger? Does This Ole Boy by Craig Morgan describe your country roots? Does My Side of the Fence by Dan and Shay describe how happy you are? Does Breathe by Johnny Diaz describe your stress?

There are so many more great songs, genres, and artists. There is something special about hearing lyrics that touch a special chord with you.

I have an eclectic taste in almost everything, but definitely with music and books, so the songs that matter to me are all over the place. If I had to pick one, it might be In My Blood by Shawn Mendes. The fight between anxiety, feeling inadequate and knowing that it isn’t in me to give up. I will keep fighting even when it is hard, but I need help too. I love the haunting strains that match how your emotions feel.

There are times when discouragement will wash over you, and the best thing you can do is to take a deep breath, regroup, and believe the outcome will be positive. We all have those moments when we are frustrated and think we should give up, but I have found that there are ways to turn that feeling around and see the reality of the situation. Write down accomplishments. Have you seen growth in some way? See that growth as a positive step. Now, make a plan to increase that growth. Instead of giving up, what can you do to improve? Make some goals for the next week or month.

There is truth in saying that sending out powerful, positive thoughts can make things happen. Instead of thinking negative thoughts, start speaking out positively about what you want to see happen. I might say, “I am going to publish five articles this week, attract ten more followers, and write another chapter in my book.” Write down everything you want to see as your reality and keep reading it out loud. Tell me about the amazing things that start to happen.

When you feel like you are doing everything wrong, give yourself some grace, and tell yourself you will figure out each new issue as it comes, learn from any failures, and continue to improve. If you are like me, you are harder on yourself than anyone else is, and that negativity could be holding you back. Begin to believe you can do it. Be your best cheerleader!

Every relationship takes some work, but it is easier if you know you are with a partner who is right for you. I have been married forty-one years, and although there have been some rough patches, I know my husband is the right match for me. I am using the pronoun he to describe the qualities I think to prove someone is right for you, but obviously, you only have to switch the pronoun to fit your partner.

He knows you

My husband knows the way I think which means I cannot get away with doing more than I should. (I push my limits sometimes) He knows I am super sensitive and although I consider myself strong emotionally, there are certain things that wreck me, like anything bad happening to a child or animal, inspiring stories, and videos of soldiers surprising families.

He supports you

I have had a few people in my life that did not have my best interest in mind. He saw no reason that he had to be kind to them when he had to be around them. I always know that he will lift me up and help me to be my best.

He knows what to say

I couldn’t run an ultra that I had spent months preparing for because I had a heart flutter the weekend before. We went to pick up my race packet, and my husband knew I was upset. He took my hand, kissed it, and said, “It’s ok. Baby. I understand. We will be back next year, and you will crush it.”

He is often my voice of reason because I am so sensitive, and I let what people say pierce my armor. He always gives me the look of, “Are you crazy?”, and then says, “Why are you letting this bother you?” then he explains why I shouldn’t care.

He lets you be you

My husband hates to read, but because he knows how much I love it, he takes me to the bookstore every Friday night. He doesn’t like to run, but he supports my obsession with it and has become my crew for ultra-marathons.

You balance each other

My husband and I are complete opposites, but we balance each other out. We bring different interests and opinions to the table, and that makes conversations more interesting. I am always learning to see issues from different perspectives, and I think my husband feels the same.

You can communicate

Because we are so different, there are many things that we don’t understand about each other, but we respect each other’s opinions, and we listen to what each other is feeling.

He respects you

We agreed early in our relationship that we would never be that couple that tore each other down, especially in front of others. We cringe whenever we hear someone do that because if you can be that cruel in public, imagine what it must be like in private. If someone claims he is joking, tell him it isn’t funny.

He makes you laugh

I should have put this as the most important element. My husband can make me laugh when I am down, and he is famous for saying something hysterical and often irreverent when I least expect it which causes me to laugh until my stomach hurts.

Spending time with animals has always been a way for me to lift my spirits. Animals have a way of accepting you and making you feel special. Our neighbor has a beagle named Joey who acts as if he is over the moon excited every time he sees you. He becomes so excited that he starts to howl. I know he does it to everyone, but it still makes me feel special.

Animals make you laugh, and it is difficult to be sad when you are laughing. Another neighbor has an Australian Shepard puppy. We are buddies so when she sees me and I say, “Miss Hazel!” She comes barreling full speed at me. The only problem is she does not know how to use her brakes yet, so she is not going to stop. To keep her from taking me out at the knees, I have to time it just right, and I open my legs right before impact, and she races through. I laugh every time she does it. It is pure joy running straight at you!

Animals trust you and want to spend time with you. When I let Bandit out of his crate in the morning, I take a few minutes to rub his belly and talk to him. Both cats wander over to say good morning and see if they can have some attention too. When your animals lie on their backs, it is a sign they trust you. The minute I sit down, there are three animals vying for my attention, and I love it.

Showing an animal love and taking care of it can be calming and rewarding. It gives us a sense of purpose. It is even better when they show us that love. Another neighbor has a massive pitbull named Floyd. He and Bandit love to play, and when I come out to see him, he trots over and leans against me so I can give him belly rubs.

I’m sure there are many other reasons that animals can be therapeutic. They become our family and enrich our lives.

The definition of a prepper is someone who prepares for a possible future catastrophe by stockpiling food, supplies, and weapons and ensuring there is proper housing. Some people believe preppers are paranoid or extremists, but I can relate to the reasoning and their preparations.

I believe in always being prepared. When I was a teacher, people knew that whatever they might need, it was in the closet in my room. My purse is the same because I have something for most possibilities. I have influenced my youngest because the other day we were out shopping when I broke a nail. She quickly produced a nail clipper and asked if I needed a band-aid. I was only joking when I asked if she had first aid cream, but she pulled it out. My daughter has prepper tendencies too!

I think preppers see potential problems in our societal structure and they are preparing for the event when life as we know it might be turned upside down and we have to find a way to survive. We saw this happen recently with the pandemic. The average person did not see Covid coming, and every aspect of our lives was disrupted. We went into lockdown and had to figure out working from home while helping our children do online school. We watched loved ones die and felt helpless. People lost their jobs and we had to pivot to survive. There were also many positives from the pandemics. Many people showed how creative and innovative they were. The fact is though we were not prepared. I have a feeling the preppers were ready and were not worried about having enough toilet paper.

I understand how someone could want to prepare for a disaster especially when it comes to food. I am intrigued by what is missing from the store shelves. Have you noticed? Then we have the debacle with baby formula. I watched my daughter, and her friends help each other by buying formula where they could find it and then sharing it. It is another example of us coming together and being innovative.

So, I will continue to do my best to be prepared for the future, but I’m also going to keep hoping that we will work together to face the bumps in the road.

My husband constantly amazes me with the things he knows. I’m not talking about facts and figures, I’m talking about knowing how everything works and how to fix what doesn’t, knowing there are parts of things I never knew existed, and having keen observation and problem-solving skills. It is so impressive that my youngest daughter has asked him to write down all the things he knows in a book that she can take with her when she leaves here to live on her own. I have begged him to never leave me because my knowledge is woefully inferior to his and I would not know what was making the whossimagigger not work. Here are a few examples of when I have looked at him with my mouth open while I say, “How did you know how to do this?” Before I give you the examples, I also have to add that he tries to explain to me each time what he did to fix the problem, and I nod my head while I wonder what on earth he is talking about.

Did you know that there is a filter under the refrigerator that should be changed every six months? I did not. Go look and if the light is red, it’s time to go buy a new one.

One day, we were walking through the cellar when he stopped, looked up, and said, “Hmmm.” That is never a good sign. He noticed that our copper pipe had a tiny leak. He said, “I have to go buy new pipe, and then I’ll solder it.” I said, “Wait, you know how to solder things?” He then looked at me as if everyone knew how to do that. Last month, our neighbor had the same issue…guess who they asked for help?

Everyone in the neighborhood calls him for help. Our neighbor called at 6 a.m. and said the shower knob had come off in her hand and water was spraying everywhere. He headed over and solved the problem. Another neighbor stopped me while I was running and asked me to come inside because she heard an explosion in the basement and now, she smelled something burning. I told her I would have John come over and I predicted that he would walk in and say, “Oh, of course, it’s the whatgimaggiger.” Yup, he came in and diagnosed it in a second and then explained to me how he came to that conclusion.

Another neighbor’s shelf fell, and John headed over to put it back up. He knows how to make beautiful furniture, including beds, dining room tables, hutches, and podiums. He is our mechanic, changing brakes, spark plugs, oil, and radiators. He has climbed up a 40-foot ladder to paint our house, and he is our pool boy. This man knows so many things, so I will forgive the fact that when he was reserving a flight for me, he put my daughter’s middle name instead of mine. Nobody’s perfect!

Have you ever done something you thought was insignificant, but then realized it had a huge effect on someone? I love helping people and I am convinced that sometimes tiny gestures yield huge results. Here are a few examples.

Give a compliment

Compliments are so easy to sprinkle around, but it requires us to interact sometimes with strangers and we are sometimes understandably hesitant to do that, so do it when you feel safe. A compliment can turn someone’s day around and it may be something she remembers long after that moment. I was in the grocery store today and there was a beautiful older woman in front of me. She had bright blue eyes and snow-white hair that was styled like a man’s crew cut. I told her I loved her hair. Her husband found me later in the store and thanked me for the compliment. He said she is recovering from cancer, and no one besides him has called her beautiful in a while.

Smile

I don’t know what it is about a smile, but when someone smiles at you, it makes you feel good as if you are special enough for the person to take the time to smile at you.

Do at least one act of kindness

Paying for a coffee for the person behind you, holding doors for the mom with a stroller, bringing a meal to someone who is struggling, or surprising someone with a gas or grocery card are all ways to show some extra kindness.

Mow a yard

Do you have an elderly neighbor who needs some yard work done? Help out in the yard.

Babysit for a mom

Moms need a break sometimes. Volunteer to watch the kids for an hour.

It doesn’t take a lot to make a huge difference. Have fun lifting up some people.

Making excuses is like taking drugs, it’s an attempt to push aside reality while making the reality even worse. Excuse makers start with complaints about what they are struggling with in life, they will explain to you why they are the victim, and they will explain why there is no possible solution to their issues. If you are an excuse maker, here are some reasons you should switch to being an action taker.

Making excuses will hold you back. You cannot grow if you don’t take any action to change your situation.

If you have the courage to make your life better, you could inspire someone else to do the same.

Everyone has failed at something, so don’t worry that you might stumble, or be judged. Be transparent and ask for help.

The negativity that surrounds excuses will eat away at your mental health until your situation becomes even worse.

You are the main person that excuses hurt as you run away from the truth. Take the initiative to be an advocate for yourself. The changes have to start with you.

People will be more attracted to being around you if you are taking positive steps toward happiness. Negativity can be draining, and most people don’t want to be around it for long.

You can attract as much attention if you talk about the positive aspects of your life as you can by talking about the negative.

If your situation seems too overwhelming, reach out for help instead of assuming there is no solution.

Kick the excuses to the door and start living the extraordinary life that you have the right to have.