Jennifer’s writing

After forty years of racing, I have seen some crazy things happen on the road and trail that occurred because of a lapse of common sense in the safety department. Here are a few reminders to help you with safety on race day.

Selfies while running

A woman was running in front of me when she lifted her phone and stared at the screen as she tried to take a selfie of herself and the runners behind her. Because she was focused on her phone and not the road, she collided with the curb and went down hard. Selfies are best-taken standing still.

The children

I love to see children racing, and I always hope running will become a passion for them, but the way they run in a race can be hazardous if you are not alert. They tend to sprint out at the beginning, but then they will stop abruptly with no warning. They also occasionally wind in and out of crowds of runners without a sense of space. Cheer them on, revel in their joy, but be alert if one is in front of you.

The scary start

Barely bridled excitement, runners crowded together, and a sudden start can be the perfect storm. I have seen several people tripped in the first several feet, fall, and create a nasty domino effect. Be focused before the start. Don’t talk to the runner standing next to you or be thinking of what you want to do the rest of the day. Be present at that moment.

Signal to stop

Runners can be just as distracted as drivers, so if you are running in a crowd, raise your arm to signal you are stopping to avoid having someone collide with you.

Turn the music down

There are some races that ask runners not to wear earbuds because they see it as a safety hazard. There are many times when you need to hear what is happening around you, and music can keep you from being able to do this. I know some people use music to focus, but you might want to turn down the volume to stay safe.

Passing in trail races

It is customary to say, “On your left.” when you want to pass in a trail race. This gives the runner you are passing a chance to let you go by while keeping sure footing. Be aware of where you are when passing through. I was in a recent trail race when I came around a sharp corner and saw a steep drop to my right. I was thankful no one wanted to pass at that moment.

Don’t follow too closely in a trail race

The only thing worse than falling in a race is taking someone down with you. Falling is a common occurrence in trail racing because there are roots and stones to navigate. Because falling is relatively common it’s not a good idea to run too close to the person in front of you.

Train for your race

I have had conversations with runners at races who had no idea what their friends had talked them into doing. You could survive a 5k without much training, even though you will be sore the next day, but I spoke to a young man doing a half who had never run a race or trained for one. He was miserable.

Bring an emergency kit

This is especially important for me because I fall quite a bit on trails, but I have also been able to help other runners because I am prepared for everything. Many races hand out sample packets of first aid medicine. I save these and bring them to races. At one race, I was running with a friend that I describe as a giant because he is so tall. We went through some low-hanging branches, and my friend was stung by several hornets. Luckily, I had some ointment for stings in my bag. He told me later, “Jen, you saved me!” In your kit, have some cleansing wipes, first aid cream, band-aids, KT tape, Tylenol, sunscreen, and ginger candies for stomach upset.

I hope these ideas help to keep you safe out on the run. I would love to hear some of your ideas.

My husband and I are polar opposites politically. We belong to different parties, but our biggest differences involve the way we believe our political system should work. I believe both parties should work together for the good of our nation while he sees the two parties as a competition, and he will follow his party blindly as long as it means a win. I believe partisan politics is divisive, and we will get more done with bipartisan politics, but he believes that only his party knows how to lead correctly. He also voted for a candidate that he admits has no business in a leadership position only because he was a member of his party. When I asked if he thought it made more sense to vote for the best candidate, he looked at me as if I was crazy. You can imagine those political discussions do not go well in a house divided, but I decided to find a way to discuss the issues with him.

Meet emotions with calm

My husband’s first reaction to a political question from me used to be anger. He would immediately allow his emotions to escalate, and I knew if I met him on the same emotional level the discussion would go nowhere. I stayed calm and stated my opinion. It was interesting to see my lack of emotion eventually diffuse his. Once the emotion is removed, and no one feels threatened, you can have a discussion.

Have your facts ready

There have been several times when my husband will tell me why someone in my party has done something wrong, and I knew the facts to prove him wrong. I will admit though that I am not nearly as knowledgeable on the issues as I should be. An example of this is immigration. I think it is a complex issue, and I don’t know what the answer is. When I said this, my husband went into emotional escalation and said, “I don’t know why the president is letting everyone into our country. Maybe he is hoping that they will vote for him.” My daughter looked at him with that look of what in the world teenagers are so good at doing, and she said, “Dad, they can’t vote.” I have rarely seen my husband speechless, but that is what too much emotion does to your brain.

Try to understand

There have been many situations when I cannot wrap my brain around my husband’s way of thinking, but I always want to hear other opinions, so I ask questions to understand, and I make sure it does not sound as if I am attacking his opinion. I start off by saying things like, “I hear what you are saying.” Once he doesn’t feel as if I am attacking, he is more willing to have a discussion.

I wish I could tell you that we are now on the same page politically, but there are still some chasms in our differences of opinion, but at least we can discuss the issues civilly.

Navigating relationships can be exhausting, and if you are a people pleaser who wants everyone to be happy, it can be even worse. During the holidays, there are often more conflicts than usual because stress is high, and energy is low. Forming boundaries is a great way to keep a situation from getting out of control because the tension has finally boiled over. Here are a few ways to ease some relationship strain and communicate what you need from other people.

Don’t blame the other person

If you immediately start to tell someone what he is doing wrong, he will become defensive and probably stop listening because he is busy forming his counterattack. Let him know that you are sure the problem is that you didn’t adequately communicate your needs, and then tell him what those needs are. Here is an example. I love to garden, but I have limited space, so one of my garden beds is outside of the enclosed garden. My husband and our neighbor throw the frisbee to our dogs out there, and they think it’s funny when the neighbor’s huge dog runs into my garden bed leaving his footprints and havoc in his wake. Instead of being angry, I calmly told my husband that I was sure he didn’t know there were plants in there, and could he please not allow the dog to run in there. They have not done it since, but in case my verbal barrier didn’t work, I put up a small fence as well.

Confront a controller calmly

I had a colleague who didn’t think anyone else could do anything as well as she could, so she often moved out of her lane, and tried to tell others how to do her job. I sat down with her and told her I knew she was only trying to help everyone, but sometimes the way she went about it was insulting to others. A controller can wear you out, and you will probably have to keep working on the boundaries.

Take out the emotion

I had another colleague who did not have a filter. She said whatever she was thinking, and it was often hurtful. She once came into my school club and was angry that one of her students was in with me. I had prepared lunch for them, so she said in front of all my students, “You are here just for the food.” She then demanded that her student leave with her. I waited until our club time was done, and I went to find her. I told her that I knew she didn’t realize how hurtful she had been, but what she said was not appropriate. She apologized. Do not let someone treat you like a doormat, but don’t let your emotions control you either.

Don’t accept drama

I love my oldest daughter with all my heart, but she is my drama queen, and she has stirred up drama anytime she could. I finally realized that it takes two to have a drama, so one day I said, “I’m done with the drama. I love you, but You will have to have drama by yourself.

I hope these ideas help you to control your relationships a little. If someone doesn’t respect the boundaries you are asking for, it may be time to walk away.

One more benefit of running is how it can enable great conversations. These conversations can be ones you have with yourself, a friend, or a stranger, but something about running makes them easier to have. It might be the feeling of freedom that running offers, and the sense of running away from anything stressful. We can put aside our responsibilities and open up our minds and drop our defenses. No matter what the reason is that running makes them possible, the conversations it allows us are as beneficial as the other positive aspects of running. Here are a few of the possible types of conversations.

Conversations with yourself

When I head out for a run, I leave behind many distractions in my life. As my legs seek out a rhythm, I decide what I want to focus on. I can work through problems and brainstorm solutions. I have written entire articles in my head while out on a run.

My running conversations with myself help me the most with my emotions. If I am annoyed at someone, I can run it out and grumble to myself. If I’m sad, I can give myself a pep talk while I check off the miles. It’s a great way to sort out the many thoughts running through your mind.

Conversations to encourage

When running at a race, you see a wide variety of stories and needs. What I see the most is the need for encouragement. Just saying, “Good job!” or offering a kind word can make a huge difference. I have had runners come up to me after a race to tell me thank you for encouraging them at a moment when they wanted to give up. I know it always helps me when volunteers are yelling encouragement. One of those moments I will never forget was at my first marathon which was on Thanksgiving. I was a little tired when a volunteer yelled, “C’mon people! You are running 26.2 miles. You can eat as much pecan pie as you want!” Since I really like pecan pie, that gave me a little boost.

Conversations to share

Runners need to share their stories. They are struggling with life’s challenges like everyone else. They need to be heard and know someone cares. My friend Raleigh and I were overwhelmed with how many of these conversations we heard at one race. The race was Run for the Son, and it was a very small race, but there were many runners there that wanted to share how God was helping them with their challenges.

As we waited for the race to start, a man walked over and introduced himself. He told us he was recovering from colon cancer and this race would be the last one when he would run with a colostomy bag. I don’t like running with a headache, but this man was running with a colostomy bag. He told me he needed to run the race to prove he was stronger than cancer. He came in second overall by the way. That cancer was crushed.

Revelations

When I coached cross-country, we had a beautiful walking/running path at the school that we warmed up and cooled down on. There were always a few runners who wanted to stay after practice to run and talk. They shared what was going on in their lives and talked about challenges and successes.

Running conversations are so important. They can help our mental health while running can help us physically.

One more benefit of running is how it can enable great conversations. These conversations can be ones you have with yourself, a friend, or a stranger, but something about running makes them easier to have. It might be the feeling of freedom that running offers, and the sense of running away from anything stressful. We can put aside our responsibilities and open up our minds and drop our defenses. No matter what the reason is that running makes them possible, the conversations it allows us are as beneficial as the other positive aspects of running. Here are a few of the possible types of conversations.

Conversations with yourself

When I head out for a run, I leave behind many distractions in my life. As my legs seek out a rhythm, I decide what I want to focus on. I can work through problems and brainstorm solutions. I have written entire articles in my head while out on a run.

My running conversations with myself help me the most with my emotions. If I am annoyed at someone, I can run it out and grumble to myself. If I’m sad, I can give myself a pep talk while I check off the miles. It’s a great way to sort out the many thoughts running through your mind.

Conversations to encourage

When running at a race, you see a wide variety of stories and needs. What I see the most is the need for encouragement. Just saying, “Good job!” or offering a kind word can make a huge difference. I have had runners come up to me after a race to tell me thank you for encouraging them at a moment when they wanted to give up. I know it always helps me when volunteers are yelling encouragement. One of those moments I will never forget was at my first marathon which was on Thanksgiving. I was a little tired when a volunteer yelled, “C’mon people! You are running 26.2 miles. You can eat as much pecan pie as you want!” Since I really like pecan pie, that gave me a little boost.

Conversations to share

Runners need to share their stories. They are struggling with life’s challenges like everyone else. They need to be heard and know someone cares. My friend Raleigh and I were overwhelmed with how many of these conversations we heard at one race. The race was Run for the Son, and it was a very small race, but there were many runners there that wanted to share how God was helping them with their challenges.

As we waited for the race to start, a man walked over and introduced himself. He told us he was recovering from colon cancer and this race would be the last one when he would run with a colostomy bag. I don’t like running with a headache, but this man was running with a colostomy bag. He told me he needed to run the race to prove he was stronger than cancer. He came in second overall by the way. That cancer was crushed.

Revelations

When I coached cross-country, we had a beautiful walking/running path at the school that we warmed up and cooled down on. There were always a few runners who wanted to stay after practice to run and talk. They shared what was going on in their lives and talked about challenges and successes. On one run, it was two runners, a girl, and a boy, whom I had taught since sixth grade. As we were running, the boy told me he was gay. His father would not understand, so the boy needed to talk it out with an adult.

Running conversations are so important. They can help our mental health while running can help us physically.

Being a people pleaser

I have been a people pleaser for most of my life which means that not only do I want everyone to like me, but I worry constantly about what they think of me. I would spend too much time wondering what someone thought about me, and I would replay conversations to see if I said something wrong.

Making a change

In the past year, I had a liberating revelation that has changed my life. I finally realized that I am happy the way I am, and no matter what I do there will be those who approve and others who don’t. Just because someone wants to judge me doesn’t mean I have to let it bother me. I can let it be that person’s issue and not mine. Let me give you two examples.

I write for a news publication where the comments can be hurtful. Although I want to interact with my readers there are times when I cannot make myself read the comments. The solution came because of an article I did about Christmas lights. You would think the comments would all be jolly and bright, but they were all over the place. Some were hateful, racist, political, and generally crazy with a few that talked about the actual topic. I used those comments to prove to myself, and my daughters that those comments don’t really matter. I wish you could have seen my youngest daughter’s face as I read them. She said, “Mom, this is about Christmas lights??!!”

The second example involves a comment that my daughter’s boyfriend made in jest, but for a brief second I went into the old mode of wondering if I was being judged before I decided that I didn’t care. We were shopping when he said to me, “If you buy any more clothes you will need a third closet.” I do love clothes, the colors, and the textures, but I am a thrifter, so although I have a full closet, I am not breaking the bank to have them. If something makes you happy and it’s not hurtful or illegal, don’t worry about what someone else thinks.

The benefits of being yourself

Being different is beautiful, and often more interesting. Don’t worry if you don’t fit a mold for what’s considered normal. Find others who are like you. Being unique can be wonderful. When my son was born he had a bleeding blood vessel in his brain. He needed brain surgery a week after he was born and for many months after the side of his head was swollen like a large ball. I appreciated the people who asked about it more than those who averted their eyes. Even when the swelling went down, the skull protruded a bit. There is also an impressive scar. Instead of hiding all of that, Tyler often cuts his hair back enough so that it is visible. He does it to start a conversation.

Being content with who you are can bring you a sense of peace. Don’t live your life to make other people happy, make your own happiness and the result will be contagious.

The holidays are meant to be times to celebrate our blessings with family and friends and enjoy good food and fellowship. Unfortunately, if we don’t follow a few guidelines, those great times can turn into unpleasant situations. Here are a few things to consider during the holidays.

Realize this can be a lonely time for many people.

Not everyone has friends and family nearby to spend the holidays with. If you have an extra seat at the table, consider inviting a neighbor or colleague who would enjoy good food and company. Food is love, so it’s a great time to donate to local food pantries or consider volunteering at a food distribution center.

Don’t let the preparations overwhelm you and cause you to stress

Ask for help with preparations and tasks that usually take a long time will be done in a flash. If you don’t want to cook, ask each person to make a dish. If family is staying with you, put different people in charge of each meal. If presents become overwhelming, do a secret Santa drawing where you are only responsible for one person. Let some things go and enjoy the people and events around you.

Be prepared for the family member everyone talks about

Every family has that person who everyone loves, but who can be a little quirky or challenging. If new people are joining the gathering you might want to warn them what to expect. Form a united front to help keep this family member from causing any damage.

Have something fun for children to do

There are so many fun games and crafts to do during the holidays. Have an activity table set up and if weather permits, have some outdoor activities to do too.

Avoid certain conversations

A family usually means well, but some conversations and questions are best avoided. Here are a few.

Anything political

Don’t ask a student if he received all As this semester. You could ask instead how he likes the school.

Don’t ask a couple when they are going to have a baby.

Don’t comment on appearance.

Don’t be critical or make comparisons

Don’t break the bank

It is easy to spend too much between decorations, food, and presents, so make a budget and do your best to stick to it.

I hope these ideas help you enjoy the holidays with as little stress and as much joy as possible.

There is a song I love by Kenny Chesney called You Save Me. The first line says, “Every now and then, I get a little lost. You save me.” All of us are a little lost sometimes, and we need those people who have our backs.

I have several people in my life that save me. My husband John and my daughters Kait and Jess are the first ones who come to mind. John is the one who reminds me what matters, especially when I am not tuning out the haters. Kait reminds me to be kind, and not to judge because everyone has stuff, and although she is twenty-one, she has the wisdom of someone much older. Sometimes Kait will say something that completely changes my perspective on a subject. She is a deep thinker who always wants to see both sides of an issue. When she was growing up I always told her to do her best to see why someone was acting or thinking a certain way. She always does that. My daughter Jessica is the one who would jump in front of a train to save the ones she loves. She is fierce, loyal, sometimes angry, and driven. I am grateful that they save me with their love.   

My running buddies also save me. They push me and inspire me, and they lift me up when I am feeling down. Most of all they make me laugh, and I know they have my back if I ever need it.

Who are the people who save you? Are you that person to someone else? Kind words, encouragement, laughter, support, and love are the important elements that it takes.

I generally do not like to take medicine unless I have to, but there are some situations that cannot be solved with green tea and a nap. I also have had experience with three children and grandchildren, and countless students when it comes to maintaining good health, so I would recommend always having some basic medicines on hand. These medicines will vary depending on your situation, but here is what I would recommend.

Babies and children

Diaper rash cream. It doesn’t seem to matter how many times you change a diaper; the poor babies always seem to end up with a red bum.

A nasal aspirator

As disgusting as this process is, it helps to get rid of a baby’s congestion.

Children’s Tylenol

It’s a good idea to have something to reduce a fever. Cold washcloths are always a good idea too.

In general

Prescriptions

Make sure all your prescriptions are up to date and filled. I have a prescription for migraines, and I want to be sure there is always enough on hand.

Pink eye drops

A science teacher told me that there were over-the-counter drops for pink eye relief, and when I tried them they worked just as well as what I would have gotten at the doctor. Since you never know when pink eye could strike, it’s a good idea to have some extra.

Tylenol/ sinus pills

At some point in the last few years, I have become a human barometer, so any change in the weather means I will have pressure in my head.

Decongestion medicine

I can’t stand not being able to breathe through my nose. I discovered that Vicks makes an inhaler tube that helps with decongestion.

Vaseline

When winter hits, my lips need relief, and Vaseline is the best. It is also great if your feet are dry.

Cough drops/cough syrup

You never know when your throat is going to have that tickle that you can’t control.

I hope these serve as reminders of what you need just in case someone is ill. Green tea and naps are good remedies too.

A good meal is important for so many reasons. It’s a way to fuel your body, it’s a pleasure to look forward to, and it’s a way to unwind and enjoy a quiet moment. Unfortunately, many of us are too busy to spend a lot of time cooking. Fortunately, there are a few meals that can be easily prepared and can fill our needs. Here are a few.

Chicken and rice

Buy a bag of 90-second rice and a rotisserie chicken. Mix everything together in a pan and add in anything extra you like. I add carrots. Buy a great loaf of bread, and voilà, dinner is served.

Beef stew

Slow cookers are a true gift. Buy a packet of stew beef, dump that into a slow cooker with a can of beef broth and a can of cream of mushroom soup, and a packet of stew flavorings. You can add anything else you want to the stew. I put in miniature potatoes. Cook on high for four hours or low for 5-6 hours. I make corn muffins from the box. (15 minutes)

Chicken pot pie

Buy 2 pie crusts. Smooth one out in a pie dish and fill it with chicken (rotisserie again) and frozen vegetables. Top it with the other crust and vent it. Cook for 45 minutes at 350.   

Pizza

Buy pizza crust and whatever toppings you want. Get friends and family together to make a masterpiece.

I love using the slow cooker. There are so many meals you can make with it. You can put everything in and go about your business, and several hours later, dinner is ready.