Let Them

Do you sometimes allow others to steal your peace and joy through their judgment and treatment of you? If you do, you are not alone, but you need to know that you have the power to guard both your peace and happiness with your attitude.

I have a friend who says the person with the greatest power is the one who cares the least about what others think. I used to think that was easier said than done, but it is a beautiful thing when you learn to let others own their opinions without having to validate them. The next time they do or say something hateful, let them while you guard your peace of mind. Here are a few examples of times when you don’t have to react or take someone seriously.

The next time someone underestimates you, let them. When someone thinks you are less than capable, or treats you as if you are invisible, use it to your advantage. I was participating in an indoor triathlon. There were so many people entered that they were doing the competition in waves with a different group of athletes completing the triathlon throughout the day. I signed up for the early spot, so there were only about 6 people for that time slot. The swim event was first, and I was in the locker room with three women. One was a lifeguard for the gym. We knew each other, so she and I were chatting. The other two were in their thirties. They were talking about how easy the competition would be. Neither said a word to me, and I think they assumed I would not be competition as an older woman. I was invisible to them. This worked to my advantage because they didn’t see me as a threat, and there was no reason to try to beat me. I won the whole triathlon!

You can see the same thing happening at a road race. Listen to the conversations. One group will be listing the badass races they have done to let you know you cannot compete, and the other group will tell you they are not a threat and why. Spoiler alert! They are a threat. Don’t ever underestimate someone, but if someone underestimates you, let them, and then prove that person was mistaken.

If someone criticizes you, let them. No matter what you do, someone will judge you, so you might as well do what makes you happy and not worry about it. Feel sorry for the people who don’t understand what they are missing.

When someone wants to tell you why her life is perfect, (Fakebook) let her, but realize that behind all those pretty pictures, everyone is dealing with her own mess. Do your best each day, and don’t compare yourself to others, their mess might be worse than yours.  

When someone is carrying a heavy burden and needs to share it with you, or ask for help, let them. I may not be able to solve every problem, but sometimes it helps to listen, or offer some encouragement.

If people offer you help, let them. I always say that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. If you are struggling, and someone reaches out, consider accepting the offer.

What I am trying to say here is to let everything flow more in your life. Don’t internalize all the negatives floating around you. Find your joy without apologizing for it, and do your best to be a good human.