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Chapter three of A Hidden Treasure

Revelations

     Emily and Aunt Tilly were enjoying breakfast the next day when Aunt Tilly told Emily about the trip to the country the Duchess had mentioned. The duke was hosting a dinner and soirée Saturday night. Emily and Aunt Tilly spent the rest of the meal discussing preparations, then Emily rose and told Aunt Tilly She and Sophie were going to pay a call on the countess and her granddaughter that afternoon.

“Oh, Countess Clifton! I have always liked her. Her husband died several years ago leaving her a very wealthy woman. I do not believe her marriage was a love match, but adversity can make a person stronger, and she is certainly no one’s fool. She and your mother were good friends. Give her my regards.”

“I will Aunt Tilly. What will you do for the rest of the day?”

“I am going to find a very boring book and read it in a comfortable chair near the fire.”

Emily knew that meant her aunt would be taking a very long nap.

Sophie came by to pick Emily up in the ducal carriage and they rode the short distance to Countess Clifton’s house.

     The London house of the countess was charming and imposing at the same time. It was elegant and looming, but the flowers blooming in the side garden softened the general appearance.

     They were greeted by a butler named Watson. Both girls liked him immediately. He had a twinkle in his eyes and a brilliant smile.

“Good afternoon, ladies. Lady Virginia and the Countess are in the family parlor waiting for you. I will make sure tea is ready.”

     Watson showed them down the hall and opened the door to the family parlor. Countess and Lady Virginia, Lady Sophie and Lady Emily are here to call on you.”

The countess turned. “Thank you, Watson. Please come in Lady Sophie and Lady Emily.”

     Emily couldn’t hide her expression as she looked at possibly the most beautiful room she had ever seen. There were roses in every color which added an explosion of color to the room. The drapes were light and airy, the carpet begged you to walk barefoot on it, and the sofas looked perfect for curling up with a good book. The overall effect was very feminine and inviting.

     The tea tray arrived, and Virginia poured for them. They spoke for a few moments about the weather and all the other polite bits of conversation that was expected of them. Emily then turned to Virginia. “Lady Virginia, I hope you don’t mind me asking about a comment you made after saving me from Lord Crowell. When I said I didn’t know why Lord Crowell was interested in me you seemed surprised that I would say that. Can you explain to me what you meant?”

     Virginia turned a slight rose color. “My grandmother knows all the greatest gossips of the ton and they are saying Lord Crowell’s father is tired of his son spending his allowance on women and gambling. He gave him an ultimatum. Lord Crowell has 6 months to marry well and change his ways, or his father will cut him out of his will. Lord Crowell has decided you would be the perfect bride.”

“Lady Virginia, I’m not the perfect bride for anyone. I depend on my elderly aunt with whom I live, and I am not the elegant socialite that most men prefer.”

     It was Lady Virginia’s turn to look perplexed. “Your aunt is wealthy; you own Rose Gate which provides even more wealth. You are also the God daughter of the duke and duchess. Either your aunt or the duke will surely provide you with a substantial dowry.”

     The countess added, “Lord Crowell is spreading rumors saying you seduced him in the garden last year. He is hoping the scandal will force you to marry him. We all know how easy it is to ruin a lady. If he continues to spread rumors, you may have to marry to avoid scandal.”

     Emily stared at the countess as she absorbed this revelation. Sophie reached out and held her hand.

The countess continued. “I don’t think a marriage to avoid scandal has to be with Lord Crowell, but you might be pressured to marry someone. Of course, I don’t think the duke has heard the rumors, and we all know how fiercely he defends his family. He may be able to convince Lord Crowell to stop spreading vicious gossip.”

     The countess turned fully to Emily. “Lady Emily, I’m afraid there is more, but it is mere speculation. Even so, I think you should know what is being said.”

“Please continue Countess. I would like to hear what you have to say.”

     “When your parents died, your cousin came to the solicitors with proof that your father owed him serious gambling debts. It was a significant amount that took all of your parents’ fortune. You would have lost your holdings of Rose Gate and your London house, but your Aunt Tilley had enough money to pay the rest of the debt. Your brother Henry remains the heir to those estates. The odd thing was that no one knew your father ever gambled. There were questions among the ton about the validity of the vowels your cousin produced.”

     Emily was pale. “My Aunt never told me. I know she wanted to protect me. Thank you, Countess and Lady Virginia. I appreciate you telling me all of this.”

     The countess smiled and continued, “Both your parents were well loved by their friends. They were good, honest people, and I believe you also inherited those traits. If Virginia and I can assist you in any way, please let us know. Be careful Emily. We believe Lord Crowell will stop at nothing to make you marry him. If he can compromise you, it would ruin you and give you no option but to marry him. I would avoid him at all costs.”

Emily sighed, “I will try, but he seems to appear when I least expect it.”

     Lady Virginia squared her shoulders and exclaimed, “Don’t underestimate the power of your friends to interfere with Lord Crowell’s plans. I assure you it will be our pleasure. He is a hideous man.”

“Thank you, Lady Virginia. I truly appreciate your help and your friendship.”

The countess proclaimed, “Well, we cannot do anything without sustenance, so let’s enjoy cook’s famous biscuits.”

As Sophie and Emily climbed back into the ducal carriage, Sophie turned to Emily.

 “Emily, come with me to my house and we can talk with my father. He is so good at solving problems. If we wait until this weekend, he will be too busy with the guests at the house party.”

 “Do you think he would mind Sophie?”

“Of course not. My parents consider you as one of their children.”

“Thank you, Sophie. I appreciate it.”

“It will also give you another chance to see Rylan.” Sophie looked straight ahead and did her best to look serious, but a huge grin appeared as Emily stared at her with her mouth open.

“Sophie, what are you talking about?”

“Emily, he hasn’t stopped talking about you since the ball, and he is very excited about going to the country this weekend, and I don’t think it is only because he can be around the horses. How would you feel if you found out he was attracted to you?”

“Sophie, I can’t deny that Rylan has grown into a fine man, but he will need someone as his future duchess. I hardly think I qualify for that role.”

“Why do you always portray yourself as less than you are? You are the God daughter of the duke and duchess, your character is flawless, you are intelligent, and you are beautiful. Start to take up the space you deserve.”

“Sophie, I appreciate your kind words. I confess I wouldn’t mind exploring a relationship with Rylan. What about you and Will?”  

     Sophie turned tomato red. “I can’t completely explain it, but from the first time we saw each other after he returned, we don’t want to be apart. When he enters a room, my heart beats faster and I have trouble breathing. Is that love Emily?”

“I wish I knew Sophie.”

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The First chapter of A Hidden Treasure

   

                                              

                                         Another Season

     Emily knew something was wrong the minute she stepped into the ballroom. The chandeliers were shimmering, champagne was flowing, mamas were supervising their daughters, and those daughters were determined to attract the attention of eligible bachelors. Anyone who was new to this ball scene might miss the subtle change in the atmosphere, but Emily was painfully aware of the eyes trained on her and the whispers of scandal circulating the room.

     A moment later, she saw the reason. Lord Crowell was leering at her from across the room. During Emily’s first London season last year, Lord Crowell took advantage of Emily’s trust and innocence when he asked her to come to the rose gardens to see the beautiful blooms.      

     Unfortunately, when they reached the garden Lord Crowell was not interested in the garden. When he pulled her against him and crushed his lips to hers, Emily was too shocked to react, but when he grabbed her breasts and twisted them, Emily cried out in pain. In the next moment, they were surrounded by curious members of the ton who had been trysting in the garden around them.

Lady Charlotte, a friend of Emily’s family, stepped forward and took Emily’s arm gently.

“Lady Emily, would you like to return to the ball?”

Emily nodded and allowed Lady Charlotte to steer her to safety.

“Lady Emily, you should be more careful around men like Lord Crowell. He only has to say that you lured him to the gardens, and everyone will believe him. Even if he says nothing, the gossips will talk.” 

     Emily stopped reliving that horrid scene when she heard Aunt Tilly say, “Emily, you have made a spectacular entrance as always!” Emily smiled at her wonderful aunt who believed her niece could do no wrong. Aunt Tilly was always on her side. She showed her unconditional love from the time she became Emily and her brother Henry’s guardian after their parents died in a shipwreck.

     Emily’s father John Randal made a fortune in the shipping industry. Generations of Emily’s family felt a passion for travel and adventure. A love for the sea and exotic lands ran in the Randal’s blood. The shipping industry had been a source of wealth for the Randal family for many years and the family’s home, Rose Gate, was full of interesting objects from different countries. Rose Gate also had a love story in its history that included a massive treasure hidden somewhere at Rose Gate.

     Emily’s great-grandmother Fiona married James Randal, and they were deeply in love. They had a son, Jeremiah, but a year later James died in a shipping accident. Fiona did not think she could do well on her own with a young child, so she married for convenience. Jeremiah was the heir to Rose Gate and the Randal fortune, but Fiona was afraid her new husband would spend the fortune, leaving nothing for her son, so she hid her jewels and the fortune somewhere at Rose Gate. Her new husband was furious, but she refused to reveal where everything was hidden, and she died in childbirth before she could tell anyone where it was.

     Aunt Tilly took care of her duties where Emily was concerned, but her highest priority was to make sure Emily knew she was loved. Aunt Tilly treated Emily like her own daughter. They lived in the country for most of the year, but they came to London for many of the social events, especially now that Emily needed to find a husband.

     Emily loved Aunt Tilly and was grateful for the life she provided for her, but although Emily hated to admit it, Aunt Tilly was starting to show her age. She napped often and sometimes seemed confused. Emily could not imagine life without her, but she knew she would not have her in her life forever and that made finding a husband even more pressing. The problem was finding a suitable husband among the prospects before her. The bachelors of the ton were either looking for an heiress to support a gambling addiction, or they simply wanted someone to produce an heir and manage a household while they visited their clubs or mistresses.

     Emily focused on the scene in front of her. She had conflicted feelings about balls. She loved the glamour, the fashion, and the glittering ballrooms, and her appearance tonight was an example of this. Emily caught a glimpse of herself in one of the many gilded mirrors placed around the massive ballroom. Her shimmering green gown swayed suggestively as she moved deeper into the room. The dress was cut low enough to reveal some of her ample chest without being too seductive. Her auburn hair was piled loosely on her head with several tendrils curling around her face. Her entire appearance was done to show off her beauty and attract the attention of a future husband.

     She enjoyed seeing the fashion the guests were wearing, and the beauty of the ballroom mixed with the music and dancers were all elements she enjoyed. Unfortunately, the balls also had a negative side.

     Each ballroom was filled with the same people and similar prospects. As Emily glanced around the room, she prayed tonight would be different. Emily didn’t want to dance with the same bachelors who wanted to waltz her into a dark corner to steal a kiss while they hoped for more.

     Aunt Tilly frowned at Emily. “Are you well, my dear? You haven’t been yourself today.”

“I’m fine Aunt Tilly. I have a small megrim, but I’m sure I will feel better soon.”

“Emily, you should have told me. I never mind spending the night with you and a good book, but I know how important being out in society is for you. Young people need to be dancing and enjoying life.” 

     Emily wished being out in society was as carefree as Aunt Tilly described it. Emily knew the danger lurking behind the pretty façade society painted. A young woman looking for a husband must know how to protect her honor and her toes. By the end of each night, Emily’s feet had been stepped on numerous times, and her head throbbed from listening to inane comments about the weather. A woman had to be careful not to have too many opinions on anything serious because she might be labeled as difficult. Emily did her best to keep her strong opinions to herself because most men would not appreciate a woman who thought for herself. She could not imagine spending the rest of her life with someone incapable of stimulating conversation. Emily wanted a partner in life and not someone who thought a wife’s job was to produce at least one heir and manage the household.  

     Emily shuddered as she remembered another unfortunate incident when Lord Bowdoin waltzed her onto the deserted terrace and pulled her behind a pillar. As Lord Bowdoin bent to kiss her, Emily smelled a fetid combination of cheroot and wine.

     Emily’s options to avoid his advances were limited. She was certain that asking him to stop was not going to work, if she screamed, she could risk ruin or be labeled as a woman who wanted to trap Lord Bowdoin. Thankfully, before things progressed too far, Emily heard footsteps and a familiar voice called, “Emily?”

     Emily pushed Lord Bowdoin away and replied, “I’m right here.” As she came around the pillar she saw her childhood friend, Andrew. Emily’s relief to see Andrew must have been obvious because he smiled and said, “May I escort you back inside?”

“Yes, please.”

Andrew whispered to her as they walked towards the ballroom, “I saw him lead you out here, and I was fairly certain you had no desire to go with him.”

“Thank you so much for following me.”

“Well, Emily, I think we both know Lord Bowdoin is no gentleman. Stay away from him.”

Emily stopped, dropped Andrew’s arm and stared at him.

“Andrew, do you think for one minute I enjoy interacting with most of the bachelors here? A lady must be so careful about how she behaves. She must guard her reputation without insulting the man who is trying to ruin that reputation, and our choices for how we interact are limited. Society is like a pack of vultures ready for that one misstep that sends a lady into ruin.”

“Emily, I know the marriage mart can be difficult, but a few gentlemen still remain.”

“Andrew, I hope I find the one for me soon.”

“I hope so too. You know eligible bachelors have challenges as well. Quite a few young ladies only care about capturing a title. These ladies will do their best to catch a young man in a compromising situation and then honor demands the bachelor marry a woman whom he will never love. Women can be devious.”  

“You are right Andrew, but you have to admit that men have more options.”

“I hope both of us find the favorable option. I will leave you with your aunt, but I will do my best to keep any of the more nefarious bachelors away from you.”

“Thank you, Andrew. I will be glad to give you my opinion of the young ladies with whom it is safe to interact.”

“I would appreciate that. I’m afraid the mind of a manipulative female is beyond me.”

Andrew and Emily arrived next to Aunt Tilly. Andrew bowed over Aunt Tilly’s hand. “Lady Matilda, how wonderful to see you. I hope you are well. I escorted Lady Emily back from enjoying some fresh air.”   

“Lord Andrew, what a pleasure to see you. Please tell your mother and father I said hello.”

“I will. Good night, ladies.”

Aunt Tilly stared at Andrew as he walked away and frowned. “Emily, why have you not shown any interest in Andrew? He is a lovely young man.”

“Aunt Tilly, Andrew is like my brother. We would never suit.”

“What a shame my dear. I would love to have an Earl in the family.”

     As more of the ton moved into the ballroom, Emily could feel beads of sweat forming. She bent down to tell Aunt Tilly she was going to bring them some punch.

     Emily looked over at the punchbowl and caught her breath when she saw Rylan Hanover staring at her. He had hair dark as night, wide shoulders, a narrow waist, and muscled legs that showed he was a man of action. He moved like a panther with elegance and grace. There was something dangerous in all that strength, but his eyes were kind, and when he smiled it was hard to look away. She watched him tonight as he made sure the wallflowers were led out on the floor and made to feel special.

     Rylan had grown up with Emily and his sister Sophie was Emily’s best friend. His parents were the Duke and Duchess, and they were also Emily’s godparents.

Rylan had recently returned from school and some extended travels. As Emily returned his stare, she marveled at the changes in her childhood friend. The gangly boy who used to stick frogs in her bed was now breathtakingly handsome, and she was having difficulty understanding the way just looking at him made her feel. 

     Rylan had been mentally listing all the places he would rather be in than at another ball. The young ladies in search of a husband would pull down their necklines, circle him as a pack and giggle at anything he said. He was glad to see Emily here tonight. He noticed her instantly because she was different. Most of the young ladies traveled in a group, but Lady Emily seemed to prefer some quiet moments. She didn’t seem interested in ensnaring a man and he admired the kindness she always showed her aunt. Lately, he couldn’t stop thinking about her. Now she stood across the room staring at him. It was time to act.

As she held his gaze, he scooped up two glasses of punch and walked towards her.

“Oh, look dear! Rylan is headed this way.” Aunt Tilly was practically dozing in her chair several minutes before, but she was suddenly wide awake and standing next to Emily.

     Emily felt her heart beating and she was wildly searching for something witty to say before he could reach them, but every topic of conversation had left her mind. She wondered why her mouth was suddenly so dry.

     Before she could collect her thoughts, Rylan was standing in front of them. He bowed and said, “Lady Matilda, Emily, a pleasure to see you.”

     Emily stared in disbelief as Aunt Matilda who complained constantly about arthritic knees curtsied low and elegantly and said, “A pleasure my lord.” Emily curtsied and said, “Good evening, my lord.”    

Rylan laughed. “Emily, when have you ever called me my lord? The fact that we grew up together entitles us to use our given names.”

 “Rylan, you have changed so much. I am having difficulty remembering the child I played with when you look much more like the ducal heir.”

Rylan smiled. “I assure you that although my appearance may have changed, I’m still the same person you have always known.”

     As Emily nodded, she realized his words brought her comfort. With all the pressure of surviving the marriage mart, she enjoyed knowing she was around someone who truly knew her. 

“May I offer you ladies some punch?”

Aunt Tilly reached out first. “Thank you, my lord. The heat is stifling in here tonight.”

“I agree Lady Matilda. Would you allow me to have a dance with Emily?

“Of course, Rylan. You two go have fun. I’m going to find out the latest gossip.”

Rylan bowed to Aunt Tilly and reached his hand out to Emily. She placed her hand in his and felt her heart beating faster. Rylan led them to the dance floor and swept her into the dance.

“Thank you for being so kind to my aunt. You know she has always loved you.”

“I have to confess I am shamelessly using her.”

Emily thought she must have misunderstood what he said. “What do you mean?”

“When I saw you for the first time tonight, I almost didn’t recognize you. You took my breath away, and I realized you are unlike the other ladies who are like vultures looking for a bachelor who will suit their marital needs. Some will even lead you into dark corners to claim you were improper with them. I know you are different. I see your kindness, your intelligence, and your humor. Emily, you will make someone the perfect wife.”

     Emily looked into his eyes feeling certain he was teasing her, but his glance was very serious, and those eyes were so beautiful. Emily suddenly knew her heart could be lost to this man. How could that be though? She grew up with Rylan and knew everything about him which could be positive, but Rylan was a ducal heir who needed to find a duchess.

Emily heard Rylan calling her name.

“Emily, are you alright? “

“Oh, yes. I apologize.”

“You looked so sad.”

“I was wondering if I will ever find the perfect husband for me.”

“I don’t think that will be a problem.”

The dance ended and Rylan excused himself to find his father. Emily saw the duchess nearby, so she asked her where Sophie was.

“She went to the ladies retiring room. Emily, I have spoken with Lady Matilda. We are all going back to the country this weekend.”

“Oh, your grace, I am so glad. I look forward to spending time with all of you.”

“We have quite a bit to discuss.” The duchess smiled with a twinkle in her eye as she continued her tour of the room. Emily wondered what the duchess wanted to discuss, and why did Emily think the duchess was up to mischief?

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When You Create a Mental Storm

Have you ever stopped to wonder if the terrible, I want to hide in the corner bad day could have been avoided? I’m going to share a realization I had about my own situation in the hopes it will help you.

We all have those days when we need to retreat and renew. My husband and I know each other’s signs for those days. I can see a bad day on his face, and he becomes slightly grumpy and almost seems to want to argue. I’m the opposite. I don’t want to interact with anyone. I crave quiet and I want to disconnect and heal. How do you react to the hard days?

It’s not normal for me to be depressed. I might have a bad day here and there, but I can usually find the positive side to anything. The past two months have been different though. I created a nasty mental storm for myself.

The unrest in our country and the world in general has weighed heavily on me. Hateful posts have also affected me as I unfriend more people because although I can respect a difference of opinion, once that opinion becomes hate filled and violent, I’m out. I am missing my children more than usual, and I haven’t had the motivation to run which is usually something I love to do. I haven’t even wanted to putter in the garden. (I’m usually out there singing and talking to the plants.” I started crying for no reason including waking up crying at 2 a.m. last week.

This morning, I decided it was time to turn things around and I realized there was a lot in my power to make things better. I made the decision to take back my happiness and guard my peace.

I’m a planner, so I had to have a good plan to follow. Running has always been my therapy, so the first thing I did was to go for a glorious run. I ran hard and fast, (fast for me is pretty slow!) which I haven’t done for almost 2 months. My legs were tired after 6 miles, but I’ll get stronger every day. The next step was to eliminate the toxic elements around me. I unfriended the person who posted about hoping the marines killed the immigrants in. L.A. I then sent friend requests to people who were mutual friends with friends I consider to be amazing. One of the things that has been bothering me is all the hate in our country. I know I can’t change twisted thinking, but I can spread kindness and understanding in my corner. If I am missing my children, I can reach out to make more opportunities to be together.

What is weighing on you? Is there anything you can do to calm your mental storm and heal the hard days? If you are struggling and cannot beat the funk, reach out for help.

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The Key Element for The Success of Anything

My daughter runs a very successful online business. She worked very hard to be in her current situation. She let other people’s doubts of her fuel her motivation, she put in countless hours learning what would work and what was important, and she watched the people who had made it to where she wanted to be. None of it was easy. Even now, there are challenges like the haters every time she does a video. She told me that people criticize her voice and her looks. She has learned to ignore the empty noise.

She told me certain questions about her success bother her, and I understood what she meant. She told me she hates it when someone asks her what the secret to her success is. She believes anyone who asks that question wants to know what the secret pill is to have instant success. She said, “Mom, there isn’t a secret sauce. You have to show up and put in the work. You have to be patient and constantly learn and be better. The people who ask that question don’t want to work hard, they just want to reap the benefits.”

There is a difference between someone who wants an easy answer for success and someone who is willing to do the work but needs some guidance and mentoring. I speak with many people who want to be more serious about writing, but they are not sure how to begin. I love helping people who are excited about writing and are grateful for someone who can offer some resources.

Showing up and putting in hard work consistently is the key to success in any area. I was listening to an interview with Wynona Judd today. The interviewer asked her how she prepared for a tour. She said she showed up and put in the work every day. I have heard that from so many entertainers. When someone is enjoying success and labeled as a new artist that person often mentions they have been working at the craft for years.  

When you are discouraged because you aren’t finding the success you hoped for, ask yourself what you need to do differently. Do you need to invest more time or resources? Don’t give up on your dreams. Keep moving forward and trying new things.

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Success Beyond the Numbers

Success Beyond the Numbers

Do you measure success in your life by numbers, or is there something more or equally important? Think of all the times we look at a number to determine how we are doing. We might be concerned with how many social media followers we have, how much money we are making, and how much engagement we see connected to our work.

As a writer, it’s important for me to have followers and subscribers. I need to have an online presence, and several publishers have asked for it, engaging with my readers is crucial do increase those numbers, and writing without engagement is not enough.

When I taught Advanced Placement French, there was always pressure to have a high pass rate, but I have always thought the special moments that class offered were as important as the final grade. The experience can be the important part.

The experience and my reader’s reactions are how I measure my success. It means so much to me when someone takes the time to tell me she liked the book, and several readers have sent me videos that show children listening to or reading the children’s series.

When my numbers our down, I focus on whether I am helping someone with my writing or making them feel something. Two of my books do this the most. I have a children’s book called, What I Hope for You. The theme is the hope of a parent that a child can maintain a joy of life and see the beauty instead of only feeling the burdens. I vend at a local market, and I have had women who start crying while they read the book. I am so touched that the book resonated with them.  

The second book is a self-help called 101 Tips to Lighten Your burden. I was wandering through the farmer’s market that is next to the art market. I stopped at a stand to buy flowers and told the woman and her daughter that I was vending books next door, so they started asking me about my books. When I told them about this book, the daughter said, “I probably need that.” Her mom encouraged her to come with me to look at it. She opened it, but told me she didn’t have any money, so I gifted it to her. She teared up and gave me a bear hug. I watched her walk back, sit down and start reading. Giving her something that might lift her up was more important to me than a sale.

I would love more followers, subscribers, and more sales, but the connections with readers will always be my sign of success. What about you? What’s your definition of success?

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What I Know So Far

What I Know So Far

Living for six decades teaches you about life, people, and perspectives. Not all the lessons are fun, but those are often the situations that teach us the most. Here are a few things I have learned so far.

You can accomplish almost anything with hard work and determination. I took karate for six years. It was in a full contact dojo which was often terrifying and sometimes painful. I believed I was going to fail before I started. I often let frustration overwhelm me, but gradually I learned that if I practiced something enough and asked questions, my body would take over with muscle memory. It was empowering to know I could do almost anything if I had the right attitude and the determination to do it.

Your attitude is your superpower or your kryptonite. You have the power to choose how you react to something. Your actions and reactions have energy. When you send out that energy you can influence things. You can also be a positive example to others. Negativity, on the other hand, can suck the life out of you. When negativity sneaks into your thoughts, change those thoughts into positive ones.

There are places you shouldn’t go. It doesn’t matter what your beliefs about spirituality are, if there is enough evidence that a place is evil, you should stay away. There is a lake near us called Lake Lanier that was formed by flooding a town. I could understand a few water related deaths, but the death toll for Lake Lanier is not only high, but it comes with odd circumstances. The most recent death that I know of was a man who took his kayak out on the lake. He was training for a triathlon. They found his kayak and then recovered his body several days later. They did an interview with a police officer who told the story of a woman they rescued after she fell off a boat. She said it felt like she was swimming through molasses, and she was a lifeguard.

There was a show talking about evil places and they mentioned a forest in Japan where people talk about feeling incredibly sad when they were in there. There is a high suicide rate there.

Ten people could have 10 different perceptions about the same situation. I was at a faculty meeting where the school head proposed a significant change in procedure. When we left several faculty members came to me to tell me their opinion. The first was excited about the change, the second was confused and asked for clarification, the third was angry and couldn’t understand how the head could propose this. Others came in through the day all with different perceptions of the same topic. Don’t expect everyone to jump on board with an idea because everyone is coming from different mindsets.   

Slower is better. I spent the first 25 years of my career running around in a frenzy. I was stressed out, doing too much, saying no too little, and no one was getting the best of me. I wish I could tell you that I no longer do that, but I am wired to move and do. I am trying to slow down though because I know the benefits. Going slower helps you both physically and mentally. It helps you be more present for the people you love, and you can take more time to rest and recharge. If you are moving too fast you miss a lot of the important things in life.

We need more kindness. Everyone is dealing with a burden or two and sometimes they are heavier than usual. A smile, a kind word, a compliment, or a kind act could lift someone up when she needs it the most.

Staying calm can change the situation. People are good at stirring the emotional pot, but you can choose to guard your peace and stay calm. When someone becomes angry, don’t escalate the situation by meeting that emotion. Continue to speak calmly or end the conversation and tell that person you can talk again when he has calmed down. It takes at least two people to have drama so refuse to be part of the group.

My husband and I have very different political views and for some reason he becomes angry every time I bring a topic up to discuss. When I remain calm, I watch him dial down the emotions gradually until he realizes I want a discussion, and I am not trying to attack his opinion.

Comparisons don’t make sense. The next time you compare yourself with someone, ask yourself if you are ready to also take on the mess you don’t see. Everyone has a messy corner, some are only better at hiding it. Fame and money do not guarantee happiness, so be thankful for the blessings you have as well as the burdens you don’t.

Worry is wasted energy. Worry is another word for stress. What if what you worrying about never happens? Stress doesn’t do anyone any good, so manifest some positive outcomes instead.

Be transparent about who you are. Trying to be someone other than yourself is exhausting and people are going to judge you no matter what you do, so do your thing. Being transparent makes the people around you more comfortable too.

You should follow your passion. When I started writing full-time my family did not provide much support. I don’t think they realized how important it was to me. I knew it was something I wanted to do, so I carry on without their interest.

Travel if you can. I know not everyone has enough money in the budget to travel, but if you do I hope you will go to as many places as possible. Travel opens you up to new experiences and perceptions. It is a great learning experience.

Create your space and draw boundaries. Even your family members can treat you as smaller than you are, and it often only takes you describing your boundaries to straighten out the situation. I applied for a business license and was doing a few other things to treat my writing as a business when my husband said this to me. (Imagine the sneer and condescending tone.)

“You’re doing all these things and calling this a business, but you aren’t making a profit.”

I have learned when I am angry enough that I want to inflict physical harm, the best thing for me to do is take some time to think it through and collect my thoughts, so at the time all I said was, “I’m only trying to do what I’m supposed to do to legally sell my books.”

The next day, I entered the kitchen and said, “I need to tell you how what you said last night made me feel. I have already written and published six books with two more at the publisher. I haven’t figured out how to market them yet, but I need you to give me a chance and stop saying shit like you did last night.”

He apologized and has been much more supportive. People will treat you the way you let them, so stand up for what you want.

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Everyone is Watching

Do you often feel invisible, thinking that no one really notices what you say or do? What if I told you that you are wrong, that everyone is watching and you have the power to influence others and potentially make a huge difference?

When I was a teacher mentor, I told the new teachers they needed to realize their students were always watching them and listening to what they said. Unfortunately, what they heard was rarely the material being taught. They were listening to your opinions, your values, and your attitude.

The same is true of the people you interact with every day. The way you react to situations could have a domino effect. Let’s say life throws you a curve ball and instead of allowing the challenge to crush you, you rise up to meet it calmly and bravely and figure out a way to break through whatever the issue is. You might not realize it, but you can save someone else who is also struggling by the way you react. Someone might say, “Well look at the way she handled it. She refuses to let it stop her. She is going to keep moving forward. I can do it if she can.” You can be an inspiration for others. It also helps you to stay strong when you realize you can help others with your actions.

Have you ever done an act of kindness and watched the ripple effect when others follow your example? Do something simple like holding a door for someone or saying thank you and watch what happens. It’s almost as if people need to be reminded sometimes. Show them how a good human should act.

Your attitude can change people. Do you see life as a burden or blessing? Are you positive or negative? I know the power of positivity and instead of convincing others that it works, I show them. My best friend and family are still amazed when I speak something into existence. We have gone to restaurants numerous times when the parking lot and the lobby have been packed. I say, “We are going to get right in and be seated.” We walk in and every time they somehow have a table for us. I love hearing someone say, “How did that happen?” The best part is they now all do it too.

Your words are powerful, and you never know when they are exactly what someone needs to hear at an important moment. Have you ever had that happen when you needed some advice or inspiration and suddenly it’s right in front of you? Your words can be what someone needs, and you might be surprised to know someone is listening to you in particular because your thoughts speak to that person.

Who is watching and listening to you? Be the best person you can be, and you will end up helping others as well as yourself.

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Why My Husband’s Driving Terrifies Me

I am blessed to be married to an amazing man. My one complaint is that his driving terrifies me. Let me give you some detailed description about what I mean.

The need to observe his surroundings. When I drive, I am hyper focused to what is happening in front, behind, and to the side of me, but I am watching the other drivers because there are some other crazy drivers out there like my husband.

My husband is unfocused. He looks to the right or left and can be distracted by anything. When I wish he was paying attention to the road, he is looking at the new construction and wondering what it will be. We have run over curbs and veered towards the bushes because of his curiosity.

He feels the need for eye contact. He is a wonderful storyteller, but even while driving, he feels the need to make eye contact with me. No matter how many times I ask him to please look at the road, he still turns to me and continues the story.  

He misses important signals. My husband becomes so lost in thought that he sometimes doesn’t notice a light is red, or he slows down when it’s green. He moves through stop signs without even a pause, and he has cut more than one person off without meaning to.

Parking is an issue. My husband can’t just pull into a parking lot and park. He needs to find the perfect parking spot. He will drive around, start to pull in, decide that it’s not a good one, and continue this several times. It is maddening.

He plays chicken while turning. He will turn in when a car is coming, but he slows down as if he wants to scare the other driver, but the only one it scares is me!

He looks at his phone/watch. I am already a nervous wreck on the highway but it’s worse when I see my husband looking at his phone or watch.

He waits too long to get gas. He will tell me not to worry when the gas light comes on. He has had to walk to a gas station more than once.

Whiplash acceleration. Even though he has had his car for two years, he cannot seem to get a feel for the accelerator, and I often think I will suffer whiplash.

I am grateful for my husband and everything he does for me, but please pray for me and my time in the car with him!

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What I Wish You Knew About Yourself

Are you ever surprised at someone’s self-perception and the way you perceive that person? I find myself shaking my head all the time when someone explains a fault or strength, and the description does not match reality.

My friend Raleigh has had two strokes, and heart surgery. The first stroke was massive, and the doctor told him he only survived because of his fitness level. While he was waiting for his release, he walked in loops around the hospital so he would stay in shape. He did a 10k race a week after his second stroke, even though he didn’t know yet that a hole in his heart was causing the strokes. Not only is he fearless, but he also never complains about anything. His attitude is that you deal with the challenges and carry on. He’s tough right? He would never describe himself that way, so I have to remind him all the time.

Raleigh is not the only one who doesn’t see his stronger qualities. I taught French for forty years and I was always having conversations with students who didn’t think they were good enough. I spoke with a girl who had a high GPA, had taken every advanced class known to man, did extra-curriculars, and was a general high achiever. She was starting to look at colleges when she said to me, “Madame, I don’t think I’m good enough for college.” I know my mouth was open in surprise when I replied, “If not you, then who?”

My friend Kim is a military airline mechanic. Imagine being a woman in a male dominated field. I think she is tough as nails, super cool, and she has wisdom that has helped me many times. The problem is she doesn’t recognize any of those qualities. How do you convince someone they are so much more than she thinks?

We spend too much time thinking we are less than we are, so here are a few things you should know about yourself.

  • You are enough for any challenge, if you believe you can.
  • Fear is a dream killer and there is no place for it in your life.
  • Excuses for not doing something are fear of failure and they are all lies holding you back from the best you.
  • You have some qualities that others admire.
  • You have gifts you were meant to use. Don’t worry about what others think about how you use them.
  • Don’t try to be someone you are not. The person you are trying to imitate might have some dark corners you don’t need to explore.
  • Find your joy.
  • Be transparent about your struggles. You could help someone else.
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How to Thrive as a Strong Woman

It took me most of my life to realize that my easy-going, passive personality was not always bringing me the life I hoped for, and I needed to become stronger in several areas. Do you consider yourself to be a strong woman? Would you like to be? I can give you some advice that has worked well for me but first let’s talk about what it means to be a strong woman.

You might think you can’t be a strong woman if you are struggling with life and facing challenges. You are a strong woman if you face those challenges and continue to try to figure out how to solve them. Adversity is rarely fun, but it always makes us stronger, and as long as you learn from the struggles instead of allowing them to crush you, you will be better for it. It’s not what happens to you, it’s how you react to it.

A strong woman doesn’t need to compare herself to other women. She is doing the best she can with the resources she has. She doesn’t judge others because she knows everyone is carrying a burden even if we cannot see it, so she offers grace and kindness instead of hate.

A strong woman wants everyone around her to be successful, and she loves opportunities to be an encourager. If she has a problem with you, she will come to you for resolution instead of talking behind your back.

Here are a few pieces of advice to help you thrive as a strong woman.

Create the right crew.

I have had some unfortunate friendships, and each time I knew It was time to walk away, I was very disappointed. I decided it was time to choose friends who had the qualities I admired. We don’t have to wait for friends to come to us. We can find the people we want in our lives.

I wanted friends who were loyal, non-judgmental, genuinely good people who were kind and transparent. I wanted friends who would show up when I needed them knowing I would do the same for them. I wasn’t looking for perfect people. I wanted friends who were transparent about the flaws.

I chose my new friends from the running community because running is one of my passions, and I don’t know many runners who aren’t phenomenal people.

Having the right group of friends can make a huge difference.

Believe you are capable.

A strong woman needs a growth mindset. It doesn’t matter how many times you fail at something if you learn something from failure, and you try again. Rory McIlroy tried for years to win the Masters and finally did it this year. How sad if he had given up thinking he wasn’t good enough.  

Communicate your boundaries.

This is so much more important than you might think. You have to tell people how to treat you. They need to know what is acceptable and what is not. You often have to have the most talks about boundaries with the ones closest to you. When someone is not respecting your boundaries, have a calm conversation with the person and explain what is wrong.

Know your value and claim your space. You have value, people should listen to you and show you respect. There is nothing wrong with explaining to someone calmly they have disrespected you. I was at a 6/12/24 hour ultra marathon. As an older runner, I am sometimes underestimated. I was looking at the 24-hour board to check my time. A woman who was there to support her husband looked at me and said, “This is the 24 board.” I said, “I know.” She looked at me in shock and said, “YOU are doing the 24-hour race?” I said, “Yes, I am, and I’m not sure why you are so surprised but I’m a little insulted.” She apologized. You have to realize people say some stupid things, but it’s okay to call them on it.

I hope these simple ideas help you realize you are stronger than you think and capable of anything.