Jennifer’s writing

In March 2019, when the Covid pandemic hit were you prepared? I definitely was not. I was teaching at the time and our headmaster told us we were to gather everything that we needed to teach from home, our tech director had prepared a booklet on how to use zoom, and we all headed into lockdown. Recently, I reflected on what worked well during the pandemic and what would I do differently if we were faced with another situation like that.

Establish communication with others

One of the things that saved me during the early weeks of the lockdown was a communication connection with colleagues and students. The ladies at my school formed a group me chat group and it was a Godsend because we could support each other, ask questions about how to do something, and ask if anyone else was having connection issues. While I was sitting alone in my quiet office the link to my friends kept me calm.

I also established links of communication with my students. I had a group me group for each class, and all my students gave me their cell phone numbers, and I gave them mine. It was perfect when someone needed to tell me they were having trouble connecting, and they also used it to send me classwork. It allowed me to have another way to connect besides zoom. One day a student’s computer would not connect, so we facetimed through the class. The students were very scared in the beginning, so the connection eased their anxiety a little.

Check-in on your friends and family. I found myself asking the question, “How are you doing?” often. Mental health was an important issue.

Fill your pantry

We were lucky that I’m a little bit of a prepper even when everything is going well because our pantry is always full of easy-to-make meals. You don’t have to break your budget, but when you go shopping grab one or two extra boxes of something you might need if we have issues.

Keep extra water

I wrote an article, I Might Be a Prepper, and a reader commented that it is always a good idea to throw an extra package of water in your cart. I think it is a great idea to have plenty of water on hand.

Buy lanterns/candles/batteries/blankets

Have the essentials for emergencies on hand. You can use them for storms, or any time we might lose power. Store extra blankets in the closet. I love to knit and crochet, so they are everywhere in our house.

Start a garden

A garden is easier to grow than you think. Buy some seeds and water, and voilà it won’t matter if the store is out of lettuce. If you think you don’t have room remember you can grow plants in containers. During the winter, root vegetables will grow outside, and you can grow others inside. I have a hydroponic garden as well.

Work on your health

It is always possible that a virus will kill you, but I’m not going down without a fight, and that means taking care of yourself to the best of your ability. Move your body, and fuel it with healthy food.

Pray

Prayer is powerful and it can bring a sense of peace.

I hope this list gives you a few ideas of things you can do to prepare for our next emergency.

For some people the idea of starting to run is daunting. They have heard of the many benefits, but they are not sure it is something they can be successful at doing. The fear of starting something outside of the comfort zone produces the excuses of why running is impossible for someone. I could guarantee you that if you knew how running can improve your life in multiple ways, you would find time, motivation, and the courage to become part of the running community. Running can help you mentally, socially, and physically. You only have to show up to see that what you thought was impossible is possible.

I have been running for over 40 years, and it is the biggest positive in my life. I have done everything from the 5K to the ultra-marathon, and I have coached cross-country for many years, so I know I can help you start to run. I will stick to the bare bones because part of becoming a runner is asking questions of veterans, learning about what works for you, and adjusting your running program to fit your lifestyle. Here are a few tips to help you start.

Attitude

I know you probably thought a running program should start out with how far to run on the first day, but one of the most important elements of your running program is your attitude. Start with a positive, can-do attitude and tell yourself that you will make gradual improvements to meet your goals. Don’t compare yourself to other runners because someone will always be faster and slower than you. Have a growth mentality.

Make goals

Why do you want to run? What benefits would you like to see? I met a couple yesterday who said they were empty nesters and had decided it was time to improve their health. They also wanted to enjoy the social aspect of the running community. The woman told me her goal was to run a whole 5K instead of having to walk some.

Start slow

One of the reasons people give up so fast is that they do too much too soon and end up sore, miserable, and discouraged. Start off by running/walking and gradually run more than you walk. Many running stores and community centers offer running programs where you can ask experts how much is right for you.

Be consistent

Don’t run two days in a row and then take two weeks off before you run again. Consistency will help you become a stronger runner.

Fuel your machine

You need your energy to be a runner, so make sure you are eating a healthy, balanced diet to fuel the extra activity. Don’t eat everything in sight though because running only burns so many calories.

Ask questions

Runners love to help each other, so ask questions. I am always learning new things to make me a better runner.

Good luck as you start your program. You only have to take that first step.

We all know that distractions can cause havoc in our lives. If you are distracted when listening to others you can miss out on valuable communication, and we have all been behind the distracted driver at a light who realizes the light has turned green with just enough time to go through but leaving a line of angry drivers behind. Thieves use distraction as a tool, and it can cause us to make all kinds of mistakes. Knowing all this would you believe me if I told you it can be used in a positive way? Here are a few examples of how you can use it for good.

Distraction is a powerful parenting tool

I was babysitting my grandson today and he wanted to go outside, but we were having a torrential downpour, so it wasn’t a good idea. I could see his temper rising so knowing that he loves to draw I quickly pulled out a pad and markers. He turned away from the porch door and focused on the new activity. Mental mind games are a parent’s friend and fairly easy to do.

You can use distraction to achieve health goals

If you are trying to stop smoking or drinking alcohol, or you want to lose weight you can use a tactic called the 4 Ds. The 4 Ds all involve using distraction to avoid something. They are delay, deep breathing, drinking water, do something to keep your mind off of an activity. Keep yourself distracted with positive activities to eliminate the negative.

Distract yourself to exercise longer

I love to run and one of my favorite distances is the ultramarathon which is anything more than 26.2. Although I love to run, in order to do an ultra you have to have some distractions. Here are a few that you can use.

Work out with someone so you can talk and motivate each other.

Have a playlist of songs that you love and lose yourself in the music.

Work out outdoors and enjoy some beautiful scenery.

Work through some problems or ideas.

Distraction doesn’t always have to be negative. Use it to your advantage and enjoy the positive effects.

When the topic of using the correct pronoun first became popular, I was confused. My first question was if I’m addressing a person why would I use any other pronoun than you? If we are talking about respecting someone, in this case concerning a choice of gender, isn’t it simpler to agree to respect people in general by speaking to them directly and not in the third person?

My husband and I went into a Starbucks where the baristas had name tags that told their pronouns. I again had questions when one name tag said Sheila’s pronouns were she and they. I have to ask how can Sheila be they if she is only one person. When I told my husband I didn’t understand, he said, “Honey, I don’t think I even remember what a pronoun is.” I hope he was kidding.

Before you say I have missed the whole point, let me assure you that I understand, and I believe everyone has the right to be whoever they choose to be. I also understand how difficult that can be. There are societal and family norms that can restrict the search for identity, and haters are everywhere no matter who you choose to be.

I think we have lost our minds when it comes to identity, and in my humble opinion, a lot of that comes from social media. Social media platforms can attack your view of who you are and harm your mental health, whether it is the barrage of ads and videos telling you how you should look or act, or the judgments about posts, likes, and followers. You can lose yourself instead of seeing the beauty of who you are meant to be.

Make your search for your identity less complicated. Forget about who everyone else wants you to be. What will make you happy? Be that person. No matter what you do there will be haters and people who don’t want your happiness, but there are also genuinely good people who will lift you up. Find them and leave the negative energy behind.

I love this time of the year because it feels as if you can reinvent yourself, reflect on what you should keep and what you should change, and generally make yourself better. You can make new goals or continue with some old ones. While many people make general resolutions, this year I am making one general goal with a few more specific goals related to the general one. This year, I am going to work on fixing the broken pieces.

Most years, I say that I am going to do my best to improve and be the best I can be, but this year has shown me that If I want to live my best life, I need to address some specific areas of my life where I have been too passive. I am actually pretty excited about making a few changes because it makes me feel like I am finally standing up for myself instead of only going with the flow and trying not to make any waves. Let me tell you how I plan to do this.

I have always made a vision board where I put photos and goals of what I want to accomplish for the year, but in the past, the board has been hidden behind some flowers and I never really focused on it. Today, I cleared away a spot where it is in clear sight, and I will be focusing on what I am hoping to achieve.

I am going to be more assertive about my wants and needs. I don’t mean I am going to be a diva, but if there is something I would like to do I am going to express myself instead of saying, “I’m o.k. with whatever you want.”

I will do a better job of surrounding myself with the right people instead of allowing the wrong people to hurt me. I am also going to be more vocal when I feel that I have been disrespected even if it is coming from family and friends. I stay quiet too often.

I am going to have a better workout plan that is varied and fun. I tend to get stuck in the same routine, and I think it will be better for my body to add some variety.

I am going to amp up my positive attitude. When a negative thought comes in, I am going to flip it and be positive about it. I am also going to manifest more by saying what I want to happen as if it is already a reality.

I am going to have a more chill attitude in general. I am very sensitive, and I worry about everything, but I love my husband’s attitude. When something goes wrong he says, “Oh well.” And then he focuses on something else. He doesn’t allow negative energy to affect him.   

I am going to laugh more and do as much as I can with family and friends.

Well, cheers to 2023. I hope all your wishes come true!

I have a friend who in my humble opinion is an extraordinary visual artist. She recently told me that she doesn’t like it when people tell her she is gifted because it implies that what she does comes naturally and easily. Her point was that she works very hard to be successful with her art, and although she enjoys the fact that someone thinks she is talented, she also wants them to understand how much time and effort went into her work. I have been amazed at how hard she works. I receive an e-mail each time she has produced a new piece, so I know she is creating new works faster than Danielle Steele comes out with another novel.

My son’s girlfriend is well-known in the young art world. She has designed album covers and merchandise for musicians, and her website is always selling out of products. My son tells me that she is up early, and works non-stop. She travels often to art shows and has had to deal with others copying her work more than once. I can also tell you that she is gifted.

It can be frustrating to be a creative because people often want to have your work for free. When I first started writing, I read some advice that said a writer should create a writer’s footprint which means that someone should be able to google your name and instantly see your articles. He suggested that you might sometimes have to work for free to make that happen. I agree that the more visibility you have, the more readers you can attract, but what other job asks the workers to work for free?

Being a creative means you are going to have those days when you question your ability. You start asking yourself those harmful questions like, “Am I good enough, or am I wasting my time?” I really hope I’m not the only one who does that! One day I was a little down, and I told my husband that I was discouraged because I couldn’t figure out how to make more money with writing. He looked at me with his usual astonished look which says, “Why don’t you understand this?” and said, “Why do you write?” I replied, “Because I want to help people, and because I have to. An idea enters my mind and demands that I put it on paper.” He said, “Then why do you care how much money you make?” I think the answer is that I mistakenly equate my success with how much I earn. I have been working very hard at this. I often write 2 articles a day, but I have not figured out how to make money with them. Even though it isn’t profitable for me I have to keep doing it because it is my form of expression.

Another friend is a graphic artist who struggles with a variety of health issues and mental health, but he has always refused to give up on his dream. I told him once that maybe he needed to have a regular job to help him financially, but he told me that would interfere with his creativity. He recently is finding all sorts of success including designing an album cover for a Grammy-nominated band. All that hard work and talent will eventually break through that wall.

What do you think? Can a creative make it with talent alone, or does that talent have to be supported by hard work?

Have you ever noticed that people often copy the actions of others? I might hold the door open for someone coming out behind me, and then I see several other people do the same thing. It also happens with acts of kindness. I paid for a man’s breakfast at Mcdonald’s, and he paid for the woman behind him. This is called a domino effect, which happens when a type of behavior activates a chain reaction. It’s as if we only need a small reminder to do something good, to treat each other with kindness and respect.

The domino effect can also have an impact on our personal lives. One action we take can cause another one to happen. An example would be if I make a commitment to eat better, I will start to feel better which can help me be more focused and productive. One action can cause other positive ones to occur which causes the domino effect.

Goldilocks is an example of a negative domino effect. Goldilocks enters a cottage in the woods that belongs to three bears. She makes a series of decisions that lead to other decisions that all have negative consequences. The same thing can happen in life. Our choices will lead to consequences caused by those choices, so it makes sense to head down the positive path so our domino effect can reap benefits for us.

We can see the domino effect on a global scale as well. When a woman was arrested in Iran and died in captivity, it began a domino effect. More and more people have been rebelling against the treatment of women. It took an action to cause a reaction that could be a catalyst for change.

Imagine that you can make a powerful change with one action whether that is holding open a door, saying thank you, fighting for social change, or making a change in your life. One action that can affect so much. Isn’t it worth giving it a try?

I heard an awful story on the news yesterday about a mom who was on the third floor of the mall with her son when a man approached her, grabbed her son, and threw him over the railing. The boy survived and recovered after a long series of surgeries and rehabilitation. That would be enough to grab your attention, but what struck me the most was the attitude of the mother. Many parents would be bitter, and angry, and some would consider violence toward the man who had thrown a child three flights. The mother said she forgave the man, and the reason she forgave him was that she refused to let him steal her joy. She wasn’t going to let him take up any more space in her life.

That thought is inspirational to me because we all let some things or people take up space in our lives when we should fill it with what brings us joy. What are the things or people that cause you emotional turmoil? You will know the answer to that by doing a gut check. When a person’s name comes up do you smile or cringe? When you think about a task do you become excited, or do you sigh with apprehension? When I did karate, our sensei wanted us to go to competitions. When I asked one of my friends why she was not going to go she said, “Whenever I think about whether I should go, my stress level goes through the roof, so that tells me I should not do it.”  

Maybe it is time to think about what is taking up our space. Is it filled with what brings us joy, or do we have to eliminate a few things to make space for something better? It might be time to do some deep cleaning.

Ask yourself the following questions. Is the person causing you unhappiness worthy to be your friend? Does she have the same values and interests as you do? Do you enjoy being with her? Do you admire her? Why? If someone is causing you emotional turmoil, she is not a friend. I always give someone too many chances to treat me better, but I’m actually giving her more chances to hurt me by continuing to interact with her. I don’t have to be hateful to another person, but if she does not make me happy in some way, I am not obligated to include that person in my life, and I especially should not make efforts to include her if she has disrespected me. I can forgive her and pray for her, but I don’t have time for hurtful actions.

It can be tricky sometimes to tell the difference between a friend and a manipulator. A friend supports you and is happy for your success, a manipulator uses you when she has a need. She is judging you one minute, hugging you, and telling you she loves you the next. Please don’t fall for it.

We all have value, and we deserve to be treated well and celebrated. Don’t chase after the people who don’t do that.

We all have moments when we want someone to listen to our complaints. We say we need to vent and let it out, but do negativity and complaining really make us feel better? I know in my own experience it actually makes me feel worse. The article, How Do Thoughts and Emotions Affect Health from The Earl E Bakken Center for Spirituality and Healing says, “Poorly managed negative emotions are not good for your health. Negative attitudes and feelings of helplessness and hopelessness can create chronic stress which upsets the body’s hormone balance, depletes the brain chemicals required for happiness, and damages the immune system. Chronic stress can actually decrease our lifespan. (Science has now identified that stress shortens our telomeres, the “end caps” of our DNA strands, which causes us to age more quickly.) Poorly managed or repressed anger (hostility) is also related to a slew of health conditions, such as hypertension (high blood pressure), cardiovascular disease, digestive disorders, and infection.”

So why do we complain? It’s possible that we do it because of our own feelings of inadequacy. We don’t feel as if we responded well to a situation, or were not treated in the way we think we deserved. We cast blame somewhere else to make ourselves feel better.

Another problem with negativity is it can become an addiction and cloud the way we see things. Instead of seeing the light of the positive, we start to see everything through a negative haze. Negativity is highly contagious, so one small complaint tends to grow until the complaining becomes a venomous litany of how much of a burden life can be.

How do you help someone back to a more positive and healthier attitude? Another quote from the Earl E. Bakken Center gives us hope. “Emotional resilience is like a rubber band — no matter how far a resilient person is stretched or pulled by negative emotions, he or she has the ability to bounce back to his or her original state.” Here are a few things to do to turn your negatives into positives.

Pause before you express a negative thought. Is expressing that thought going to help you? If not, find another thing to say. Do not blame others.

Express your emotions by journaling or with a good friend. Ask for feedback.

Practice positive self-talk.

Work on being more grateful for what you have.

Take the time to sit somewhere quiet and do deep breathing exercises.

Seek professional help if your negativity is out of control.

I hope these ideas help you to turn negative thoughts around to live a more positive life.