Depression doesn’t care what your race is, how wealthy you are, or what your gender is. It hits people who we think have it all, and it often hides well behind a mask of happiness.
Have you ever known someone who seemed to have it all together, who laughed and smiled, and was the life of the party, but then one day, this person trusts you enough to reveal the darkness behind the mask? Imagine what that must be like to have emotions that are like a roller coaster, and you are never sure when depression will show up again. Even worse, what if depression lingers and the negative voices in your head won’t stop whispering, and you have to pretend to be happy? It must be devastating and exhausting. Even worse, what if the people you love don’t understand?Depression is powerful and often requires professional help. Individuals try to escape it any way they can. Some turn to alcohol and other drugs which might offer temporary relief but eventually exacerbate the problem. Others use running to heal, and this often helps because it is not only healthy for you physically, but being a part of the running community can help you mentally.I am not an expert on depression, but I have friends and family who struggle with it. My advice to those who have depression is to not believe the voices in your head. You matter and you are worthy. Don’t suffer alone. Find a community. If you love someone who has depression listen to them, encourage them to share, and find them help when it is needed.
After years of spending large amounts of money on health and beauty products, I was surprised to discover that I could purchase a product for less than $5 that would suit most of my needs. I have used Vaseline for most of my life, but recently I found even more ways it can come in handy. Here is a quick list.
Preserving your pumpkin
If you rub Vaseline over the carved edges it will preserve the pumpkin longer because the Vaseline prevents bacteria from getting into the flesh.
A sore nose
Anytime we have a cold our noses take a beating and become red and sore. Vaseline can soothe and heal them.
Cuticles
When your cuticles become dry and cracked put some Vaseline on them to lubricate them.
A make-up aid
Put Vaseline on your eyelids and cheeks to produce a dewy look and a glow.
Skin healer
I have had many pre-cancerous spots removed and usually, the dermatologist recommends an antibiotic cream to treat it, but at my last visit, I was told to use Vaseline.
Moisturizer
I have been using Vaseline as a moisturizer and within a week I noticed my skin had lost most of its redness and my fine lines were less noticeable.
Lip balm
I have often heard that many ChapSticks have harmful chemicals in them, so I stick with Vaseline.
Soothes diaper rash
You need a gentle product for a baby. Vaseline is triple-purified, hypoallergenic, and non-irritating.
Lip exfoliator
Put some Vaseline on a toothbrush and gently scrub lips to remove flaky skin.
Chafe relief
You can spend $17 dollars on a product to relieve chafing, or you can use Vaseline. I put some under the line of my sports bra and rub my feet with it to protect them during distance running.
I’m sure I have forgotten a few uses, but I hope you will try the ones I mentioned.
Do you ever want to explain to a non-runner how glorious your run was, but you are not sure you can find the words without them thinking you are crazy? It’s sometimes difficult for others to understand what we love as runners.
We run in weather that most people think should make someone stay inside. I love to run in the rain because it seems so peaceful to me, but when I come in my husband almost always says, “It’s too bad you got caught in the rain.” He would never understand if I told him I loved every minute of the run, and I even had clothes, especially for rainy days. I also enjoy running when it is snowing. I remember once when a neighbor came out and said, “Jen, are you okay? You know it’s snowing right?” The same neighbor also came out in the winter and said, “Jen, it is 24 degrees out here! What in the world are you doing?”
They don’t know everything we see when we are out there. They missed the day a huge hawk swooped down and perched on a mailbox for fifteen minutes and just watched me run around our neighborhood. He was so majestic and fearless.
Several times a week I go out before sunrise. I love the quiet of early morning and the chance to see the stars. We often have deer in our neighborhood, and once I reached the top near the street just as three came around the corner to enter our subdivision. We all just stopped and stared at each other. After several minutes, they turned and ran from where they came.
There are stories from fellow runners to share. The struggles, the inspirations, and the triumphs. I leave most races feeling grateful for all the amazing people I have met through running. Everyone should feel the inspiration that I experience because of the grit and determination of other runners.
Running shows the positive side of humanity. I have watched so many people reach out to encourage others. It is one of my favorite things to do. I saw a woman at a trail race wearing a knee brace. I heard her tell someone, “I think this is the end of my running career. She said it with such sadness that I almost said something to her because I had finally healed from my knee injury. Even though I did not say anything that day I thought of her often and hoped she had not given up. Several months later, I saw her again. I approached her and asked about her knee. She described the struggle she was having, and I shared the advice I received from my orthopedist and my physical trainer. She told me she had new hope she could heal, so that made me happy.
Many people don’t understand the training of a runner. I become excited about training and the possibility of becoming stronger, but I have friends who only train for a specific race, and then go months without any physical activity. When you tell them you are training for an ultramarathon they usually say, “Why would you do that?” but the training as well as the races teach me more about myself and my body than I could ever have imagined. I also am inspired by how hard other runners train.
The gear required for running is another subject that causes questions. “Why do you have so many shoes?” I need trail shoes, road shoes, shoes for rain, lightweight shoes, and shoes for the days I need more support. I also need recovery sandals to help my feet recover from all those miles. I have water-repellent sweatshirts, rain pants, shorts, tights, and a variety of tops depending on the weather. Hats to use as sun shields, sunglasses that can stay on your nose or your head, and the right pair of socks are all important. When we travel my running gear takes up a lot of space in the suitcase.
I always wish I could show more people how glorious running is, but I realize that being a runner comes with a different perception of what matters, and everyone is entitled to choose. All I know is I love the stories and the experiences that shape them. I am so thankful to be a runner.
After 40 years in the classroom, the advice I would give a new teacher is to not take yourself too seriously and to be able to laugh at yourself. Teaching presents an opportunity every day for embarrassment, and if you are a high school teacher like I was, you will be embarrassing yourself in front of teenagers. As long as you have a sense of humor everything will be fine, and you will have great stories to tell. Here are a few of my more epic moments.
The fall from the platform shoes
I was wearing ridiculously high platform shoes and a pretty blue dress. The class had been doing some crafts on the floor. Right before the bell rang everyone was in their seats and I was walking across the floor. I forgot that there were plastic craft boxes on the floor, my foot went in one, the box slid, and I fell hard. I jumped back up, threw my hands in the air, and yelled, “I give myself a ten!” There was dead silence and they all looked horrified. I said, “It’s okay everyone. I’m fine.” A boy told me later, “Madame, you went down hard! We were worried.” I went home and told my family, and whenever I wear those shoes I warn the people around me that I have fallen off of them before.
Falling down the stairs
I was walking back from chapel while talking to another teacher. I was trying to be attentive and make eye contact, but I forgot there were three stairs leading down to the road. I missed all three and landed on my knee ripping my pants where I landed. There were about 200 people behind me. One boy said, “That’s what happens when you drink before lunch!” I acted like I was fine, but my knee was pretty bloody. I still laugh at the fact that it had to happen with the whole school behind me.
Two different shoes
Quite a few embarrassing things happened because of pregnancy. When I was 8 months pregnant I couldn’t really see my feet and twice I came into school with two different shoes.
The disintegrating shoes
I love shoes and it is sometimes hard for me to throw them away, so some pairs are old. One day, I kept seeing small pieces of wood as I walked around the room. I couldn’t figure out what it was and then suddenly my heel fell off! Luckily I had a free period and I lived right down the road. That would have been okay, but a month later it happened again. My class probably was ready to start a shoe fund for me.
The microwave fire
I had a jar of Nutella that I wanted to heat up, but I wasn’t sure if I could put it in the microwave. One of my students who was a science genius was with me, so I said, “Jasmine, can I put this in the microwave?” She said, “I think so. Maybe put a napkin on top.” “Oh. Okay.” We didn’t notice that there was still some aluminum on the top, so when I turned on the microwave there was an instant pop and fire which caught on the napkin we had placed on the top. We got it under control, but I almost destroyed the teacher lounge.
Meeting Travis Tritt
One day, my class was working on the floor. Our headmaster stuck his head in the door to say hello and then went back into the corridor. Two minutes later, one of my students approached me and said, “Dr. T wants you to know Travis Tritt is in the hall.” I almost knocked three students over trying to get to the door. When I came into the hall Travis was there with his wonderful wife and all I could think to say was “I love your music.” I’m sure he had never heard that before lol.
Not quite done up
I know parents of small children will understand this. Both my children at the time were under five and I was sleep-deprived. I had thrown on my clothes and rushed out to daycare. I was in the middle of a class when a student said, “Madame, the zipper on your skirt is down.” Luckily, I was wearing a slip, so no one was too shocked.
The bat
I am terrified of bats. I was teaching at a school that is located at the foot of a mountain and 500 acres of woods and I had a classroom that opened out on that woods. One day, I was focused on teaching when I looked up at the ceiling and saw a large bat. I would like to tell you that I acted with calm and decorum, but I screamed, threw down my papers, ran out the door, and closed it behind me. The students had no idea what had happened but when they saw me panic, they panicked too following me out in the hall. The Spanish teacher came with a broom and shooed it out into the forest. I apologized to my class and said that we now knew that I was not going to be the one to save the day.
The game that injured a student
We used to play a game where students raced another student to the board and wrote the answer to a question I asked. The first one back to his seat with the correct answer on the board won a point. It was total chaos, but if you wanted to wake up students this was the game to play.
There was a boy in the class who had injured his ankle in soccer. He had been wearing an air cast, but on this day he did not have it. Everything was going well until Sam ran up, wrote his answer, and turned to come back. His ankle gave out and he went down. I managed to get him in a chair, but he was obviously in pain. The nurse came to get him. I’m sure she was thinking, “When did French become so dangerous?”
The sneeze
This is disgusting but it definitely qualifies as embarrassing. I was teaching when I had to sneeze. It wasn’t one of the gentle sneezes, it was the kind that comes from your depths, and unfortunately, quite a bit of fluid came out with it. I turned around quickly in search of tissue, but I’m sure there were a few students who were thinking, “Ewwwww!”
Teaching requires you to be on a stage every day, and it is inevitable that life and all its crazy moments are going to happen. If you react to them with humor and resilience it could be one more teaching moment for your students.
Some of the best writing advice I have heard was to create a writer’s footprint by publishing often and making sure that your name was easily found as a writer. To create that footprint though you have to know where and how to be published. There is quite a large range of ways to accomplish this, so let me tell you what I know so far.
There are several writing books I use that will give you names of publishers to contact as well as what the publications are looking for, and what payment they offer. Here is a list;
Writer’s Market
Writer’s and Artist’s Yearbook
Writer’s Handbook
Christian Writer’s Market
There are more specific writer’s market books including one for poets and children’s writers.
I started by sending articles to magazines and newspapers. I sent articles to my local media and began writing a monthly column in two of the local magazines. Neither magazine pays writers, but I wanted to have samples of work to give publishers and a way to improve my writing resume. If you are willing to write for free, it is easy to find spots that will accept your work. Once you have established yourself, you can step away from not being paid for your work.
Working for free can have other benefits. I fell in love with an online parenting magazine called Screamin Mamas and started to write for them. When I recently published my second book the editor did a beautiful feature on me, and I have used it at several talks and book signings.
If you want to publish articles in magazines and newspapers read several back copies to know what topics they accept. Write a query letter describing your article, find the contact information on the masthead in the magazine where staff is listed, or in one of the books listed above, and send it off.
If you want to publish a book you have more decisions to make. Here are some choices.
A traditional publisher. This is a publisher who signs a contract with you and pays you for your work.
A vanity publisher/self-publishing. You pay someone to produce your book.
Hybrid publisher. This is in between traditional and self-publishing where you pay to be published, but you might share in the profits.
Electronic publishing. This is self-publishing but less expensive.
I remember feeling overwhelmed when my oldest was born. I was terrified I would be a bad parent, and I had no idea how to be a good one. I had wonderful parents, but they weren’t perfect either, so I went blindly into parenting hoping love would be enough. Here are some of my more epic failures.
Too much screen time
When my grandson was born my daughter declared, “I am not going to just stick him in front of a screen.” He now watches at least one movie a day, and my daughter now says, “Okay, Mom, I understand now. Moms need a minute to breathe.” I know I should have played more educational games and turned the television off, but with a full-time job, I was a tired parent like so many others.
I didn’t monitor social media use
If I had to go through the teenage years again I would monitor the phone usage closely. There are too many negative possibilities with social media these days. I was naïve to think my children would not engage in anything inappropriate.
I had my priorities wrong
My biggest regret is that I put work before them. I worked at a boarding school for much of my career, and that required me to coach and work long hours. I remember my ten-year-old son begging me to stay with him instead of going to soccer practice. I cannot get that time back, and now he is the one who is too busy.
I felt anger when understanding was needed
The teenage years are hard for almost everyone. I should have listened more and tried to understand instead of reacting.
Along with these epic failures, I know I had some shining moments too. As parents, we can only do our best, and love our children. What would you have done differently as a parent?
Kindness is a superpower because it affects everyone involved in a positive way. If you do or say something kind it elevates your mood as much as it does for the recipient which makes both of you want to pass the feeling on to someone else. A positive domino effect is created.
If you are struggling the quickest way to take your mind off your burden is to focus on lifting up someone else. The energy that passes between both of you will lift you both up. An example of this was when I saw an older couple struggling to pay for their breakfast. The husband was searching for enough coins, so I stepped over and slid my card into the machine. The man thanked me and seemed very surprised. After my daughter and I sat down to eat the man came over and said, “You don’t know how much that meant to us. My wife has been very ill; today was the first time she felt well enough to eat. He said he had blessing stones that he handed out to talk with people about Jesus. He handed us each two and told us he knew we had the love of Jesus. My daughter and I both still have those stones.
You never know when a kind word to someone will turn someone’s day or life around. It could be something simple you say at just the right moment that makes a difference. Shower compliments like confetti. We all like to hear we are doing something right.
Kindness is so easy to do. It doesn’t take much time or effort, but it has a powerful effect. Here are a few acts of kindness to try.
If you can afford it pay for someone’s meal or coffee.
Tell a parent he or she is doing a good job.
Bring a meal to someone who needs it. Food is love.
Spend time with someone. Listen to his story.
Help out wherever there is a need. United we are strong.
I’m sure there are writers who can write anywhere, but I know I sit down to write more because my office is perfect for me. One of the secrets to being a successful writer is consistency. If you enjoy your space you will keep coming back to it to create more amazing work.
Is there a spot in your house that you can turn into a workspace? It would be ideal If you could find a space with a door otherwise you may find yourself dealing with distractions. My office opens to the sunroom and the living room, so my family comes in all the time while I am working. I can have my head down clearly creating the next great novel, and my youngest will come and sit on the sofa and give me that look that says, “I am available for you to entertain me now, and just when I think I am on a roll the dog will rest his head on my knee and make me feel guilty that I have not let him out in the last five minutes. I do my best to work when everyone is occupied doing something else.
Decide what will make your space special. I love flowers so I have several fake flower bouquets with vibrant colors, and I have plants everywhere. I also have photos of the people I love, and words of inspiration posted. There are days when my motivation is low and I’m sure I’m the worst writer in the world, so I need some words to lift me up. I have floor-to-ceiling windows in my office because I love light, and if I need a break I can stare out at the backyard.
Have the tools you need close by you. I have a file cabinet with important papers like contracts, and I keep any of the journals and books I need next to me. I often like to write down ideas, so I have a podium with a whiteboard for that, and I have another whiteboard to keep track of projects I need to do as well as the deadlines for those projects.
Sometimes, a quick nap will revive your creativity, so having a comfortable sofa or chair and a warm blanket can come in handy.
The wonderful thing about your writing corner is that it is completely up to you how you create it. Make it a space that you love so you will enjoy working there.
Jennifer’s writing 