Jennifer’s writing

Every parent has those moments when either your child does something less than stellar, or a bad parenting decision backfires. I have three children and three grandchildren, so I have experienced many of those moments. I hope you enjoy the moments I share, and I hope they make you laugh and realize that you are not alone when your parenting efforts do not work out.

There were a few unfortunate moments that occurred because of sleep deprivation. One day, a student came up to me while everyone was working on an activity and quietly told me the zipper was down on my skirt, I came to school when I was eight months pregnant with two different colored shoes because I had to get dressed in the dark, and I couldn’t see my feet anyways.

My oldest has always hated milk, but we thought we had to give her milk to keep her healthy. One night, the people in the apartment below us called and said there was a strange substance on their wall coming from our apartment. They said it looked like chocolate milk. We went over and looked behind the hope chest and saw that our daughter had been dumping her chocolate milk there when we left the room. There was also some mac-n-cheese back there.

The oldest was also my temper-tantrum queen. I was in the grocery store with a full cart when she fell on the ground, started to scream, and kicked her legs and arms. Everyone around me started to look at me as if I must have done something terrible to her, so I picked her up, left the cart, and went home.

My middle child is an artist. He is always trying to observe everything at once which can lead to a lack of focus. We were out riding our bikes when he started to head straight for a parked car. I should have called out a warning, but I thought, “He must see it.” He did not so he smacked right into it and I felt awful.

We were in a restaurant one night when my youngest who was six months at the time had a massive diaper blowout. I needed to get her out to the car to change her diaper and clean her, but I was also covered with poop. How could I walk through the restaurant like that? I knew I had to, so I picked her up and moved as quickly outside as possible. I cleaned both of us and decided to play with the baby in the car until everyone was done.

Those are only a few of those embarrassing moments. We all have them and we will survive to fail another day.

Although I was a cross-country coach for years, I struggled with following the advice I gave my runners about the start of a race. I used to always say, “Don’t be pulled into the excitement of the race start. You don’t want to start too fast and then struggle the rest of the race.” My friends make fun of me because I almost always say, “I’m going to run for fun today. I’m starting very slowly.” Part of me believes this will happen, but then the gun goes off and my brain convinces me I can run with the people in the front. Unfortunately, my body is very angry with my brain around mile two. I decided I needed a way to start better, so I decided to play the game that a runner named Jenny used to play.

When the gun went off at the meet and a throng of runners headed for the trail, Jenny stayed behind, so she was starting dead last. She then began to pass people one after another. She did this so effectively that she was always in the top three at the end. I decided to do this the day after I had an AFIB incident. I didn’t want to run too hard, so I started very slowly. People were flying past me and I remember thinking, “I’m going to be last.” My friend who was running with me helped when he said, “I guarantee we will see most of those people in another mile.” I kept a steady pace and passed as many people as I could. I felt stronger running at a steady pace than if I had gone out fast, and my finishing time was better than usual.

I discovered another running game when we lived in North Georgia. I call it the runner’s ruse. When I took karate my sensei always told us that we never wanted to look like an attractive target. The same is true in running. We see the same people at local races, and there will always be people who target you as the person they want to beat. The runner’s ruse is when you convince them that you will not be in any competition because you are temporarily off your game.

I knew the master at this game. At every race, he would tell everyone who would listen about all his injuries, or how little sleep he had the night before. What was funny was people believed him. He crushed his competition every time. I used it once with a woman who runs about the same speed as I do. I told her I was going to run slowly because my knee was sore. She decided I wasn’t a threat and lined up in the back. At the end, she said, “I thought your knee was sore!”

Another game that’s fun is to choose someone slightly faster than you and run with her as long as you can. Falling into a good pace even if it is a little challenging will help to improve your time.

A game for hills is as you start the climb encourage someone next to you who may have started walking. When they start to run it’s hard not to keep going even though you want to walk because it looks bad. If I yell, “It’s only a hill! C’mon let’s keep going!” but then I start walking in a few feet it doesn’t look good.

Start thinking about anything but running. You can look at the people around you, enjoy the scenery, think about what you want for breakfast, or solve a problem. You want to distract yourself.

Write your social media post about the race in your mind. Do you want to talk about glory or a struggle? Either one makes a great story but choosing your narrative might help you push harder.

I hope you have your way of making running fun. What games do you play?

I am always looking for good writing advice because I want to continue to learn and grow, but there are a few things that I do not feel comfortable following. One of those pieces of advice is to find your niche, your specialty, and stick to that.

My problem with this is that it puts you in a box and limits your writing. I have so many interests and thoughts that I cannot imagine only being able to write about one of them. Not all of my ideas come from what I am passionate about sharing. Many of my ideas come from what I hear or see around me. I cannot ignore these ideas because they poke at my brain demanding to be released.

Another reason I don’t follow this advice is because if I stick to one niche I will be reaching a limited audience. I enjoy reading about a variety of topics and I would like to share a variety of topics with my readers. I love hearing the comments from readers from writing on different topics.

The final reason I would rather write on a variety of topics is if I only write about one topic I won’t be learning as much as I could if I research a variety of subjects.

I do understand the reason behind this advice. If you can stick to your niche you can make yourself an expert, but I believe if write on different topics you can broaden your horizons.

• You have to take care of yourself before you can take good care of others.

• 10 people can have 10 different perceptions of the same situation.

• Love is a beautiful answer to most situations.

• Positivity is powerful.

• Prayer works when it is the right prayer. Our plans and God’s plans are often different, but his are ultimately better.

• Smile at your enemies because it will drive them crazy.

• Quality, not quantity is what counts when it comes to friends.

• Keep growing and becoming.

• Laughter will make you feel better.

• Do the things that bring you peace.

I wish I could say all the arrows missed, that they didn’t cause me pain

But I have to admit that most hit their mark, and I seek solace in the rain

I have to retreat and regroup my mind. Instead of lashing back, I strive to be kind

Banish hateful words and actions, turn the other cheek

Feeling emotions does not make me weak

People can be difficult, and hurtful to the core

But love is still the answer to give

Because love is what we all need to feel more

Age can take a toll on our mind and body, but does it have to be that way, or are there steps we can take to slow the aging process down? The answer to that is a resounding yes. There are proven ways to slow the aging process, and as long as we can practice what we know works instead of making excuses for abusing our bodies, and not stimulating our minds, we can age well.

You may be thinking that the word abuse is too harsh for how you treat your body, but if you are overweight, sedentary, and consistently putting processed, fatty food in your body, you are not taking care of yourself. You can make some changes that will lead you to better health. Here are a few ideas.

Eat color

This is such a simple way to know what food is healthy to eat. Orange sweet potatoes, red and green apples, bright peppers, and many more choices can decorate your plate and fuel your body.

Drink water

We need water to survive, so it makes sense that it will help our health in so many ways. I had a doctor tell me that when I was tired I should drink a glass of water to energize myself. It is also a way to control your eating by drinking a glass of water before meals.

Move

Our bodies were meant to move. Being too sedentary can cause a lack of flexibility, weak muscles, and weight gain. This one is personal to me because I have seen what a sedentary lifestyle can do to a family member. At a time when she should be enjoying retirement, she has difficulty moving and she is struggling with a variety of health concerns related to a lack of movement.

Sleep well

Our sleep affects everything. If we don’t sleep well we suffer from brain fog, feel irritable, and don’t perform well. When we sleep well our health, and our quality of life is better.

Find a community

If you have read the book, The Blue Zones which details why people live to be 100, you know that one of the recommendations is to be part of a community. When we belong to a group we are happier.

Read

Reading not only increases your knowledge it also allows you to escape into a fantasy world and enjoy a good story.

Do what brings you peace

Whatever makes you smile when you do it is what you should do more. I am smiling the whole time when I run, read, and write.

Laugh

It is hard not to be happy when you are laughing, and laughter is the best way to feel young.

Have a hobby

Find an interest that engages your mind and never feel too old to do something new. I started guitar lessons two years ago and all the other students were very young, but I loved learning to play. Keep your brain stimulated.

Stay positive

Your outlook on life affects your mental health so stay positive.

I hope this list gives you some ideas to stay strong in your older years.

I have friends who have been talking about how much they want to run a 5k, but there is something daunting about signing up for the first one. You might think you will show up at the race and everyone will instantly know you are not a real runner, or everyone around you will be in Simon Bile’s shape and you won’t fit in. First, if you run you are a real runner and if you show up you will be surprised to see all shapes and sizes, and every fitness level.

The next fear is that you won’t be fast enough, and you might come in last. Running is about improving and making goals. At the last race, I saw someone doing the whole race on crutches, and although he probably came in last I have a feeling the crowd cheered him in as if he was the winner.

We met a woman at a local half-marathon who said she did a few 5ks and then she couldn’t get enough of racing. She said 5ks are the gateway drug of running. One minute you sign up for a 5k and before you know it you are doing an ultra across the desert.

Here is some running vocabulary before we talk about the actual race.

5k 3.1 miles (give or take)

Course descriptions Mostly white lies especially when it says rolling hills. That’s when you know you are in trouble.

Chip time This is when there is a start mat and a finish mat. Your time starts when you cross the first mat and finishes when you cross the second.

Gun time This means that the time starts as soon as the gun goes off, so if it takes you longer to cross the start it could make your time slower.

The bib Your bib has all your information on it as well as a chip that will track your time.

Swag the t-shirt and other gifts that the race organizers offer.

Packet pick up Your bib and your swag.

Pacing How fast or slow you are running.

Masters the winner who is over 40

Grandmaster the winner over 50

Senior grandmaster The winner over 60

Here are a few things that will help you have a great 5K.

· Run and walk at least three times a week for thirty to forty minutes several weeks before the race.

· Do some cross-training like biking and swimming.

· Do strength training and work on strengthening your core. Strong muscles will help you avoid injury.

· Stretch. We can forget how important flexibility is to performance.

· The day of the race don’t start out too fast. It is easy to be caught up in the excitement of the start. Most of the time, you will see many of the people who sprinted out of the start walking by the first mile.

· You might have race nerves so do a body check and make sure you are running relaxed with your shoulders loose. Practice regular breathing because when you are nervous you might hold your breath for a few seconds, and that never ends well.

· Pick your rabbit. About a half-mile in there will be someone running right in front of you. Make it your goal to stay near that person unless of course you can pass that person and pick a new rabbit. The goal is to have someone who pushes you slightly.

· Don’t let hills defeat you. Slow your stride, bend slightly, and look right in front of you instead of gazing up at the looming mountain. So much of running is mental and hills are a good example of this. I used to tell my cross-country runners to trash-talk the hills. It took their minds off the challenge and gave them some motivation to crush the hill.

· Practice positive self-talk. This is another example of the power of your mind. When you feel as if you are not running well it is easy to let the negative voices in your head. I guarantee you that just the fact that you are doing a race makes you a badass in almost everyone’s eyes, so find the positives in your performance.

· Every racer has that moment, (sometimes the entire race) when you have entered the pain cave, and you really want to stop. Go slower for a few seconds instead of stopping and focus on something else like catching the person in front of you.

The most important piece of advice is to have fun. When you go to races you will experience a community atmosphere and you will be surrounded by veteran runners who can help you improve.

Going to Paris is magical in most circumstances, but there are a few tips and tricks that can make it even better. I have been teaching French for 40 years and have taken 19 student trips to Paris. Each time I go I learn something more. Here are 10 tips that will help you on your next trip.

1. There is a taxi scam at the airport. Someone will approach you and ask if you need a taxi. When you say yes he will lead you down a hallway and outside to where a taxi is waiting. Unfortunately, this type of taxi can charge you double the normal rate. Follow the taxi signs in the airport and you will be well taken care of, and you will have more money to pay for the adventures waiting for you.

2. When your taxi drops you off at your hotel, ask if you can make a reservation to be picked up at the end of your stay. If you ask your hotel to do it they will charge you for the service.

3. There are several ways to enter the Louvre. I have always found that going in through the metro station was the easiest. Your stop is Palais-Royal.

4. Go early to museums before the lines get long.

5. Walk as much as possible because you will see more, and you will discover new things.

6. Learn a few basics of the language. It makes a difference in the way you are treated if you make an effort to communicate.

7. Café culture should be a separate article but here are some basics.

· It is less expensive to eat at the counter than at a table.

· Don’t just order coffee unless you want an expresso. Ask for a café americano if you want an American coffee.

· Don’t expect to rush through a meal in a café. The French believe food should be savored.

· In most cafés, the tip is included but you can add extra if the service is good.

· Read the menu that is posted outside to check the offerings and the prices.

8. Toilets could also be an entire lesson. Here are a few pointers.

· You need to tip to use some toilets, so have some change ready.

· If you use the bathroom in a café make sure to order something.

9. Book your tickets for attractions in advance. Booking in advance makes your experience much easier. You can often skip the lines, and you can at least not stand in line to buy the ticket. Go to the website of the attraction, or go to the online site of the Paris tourist office www.parisjetaime.com

10. Buy metro tickets in advance if you can. The metro ticket is good for both the metro and the bus. Hold onto your ticket until you leave the station because there are people who can check to see if you have a ticket, and if you do not have it you could be fined. Take a quick tutorial on reading a metro map, and it will make traveling around much easier.

The healthiest thing you can do mentally is to surround yourself with a strong community that has your best interests in mind, accepts you for who you are without judgment, is transparent and real, and wants to share experiences and joys with you. Being surrounded by the opposite type of person is toxic. Here is a quote I have in my office that I can look at any time someone disappoints me.

“There comes a time in your life when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don’t. Life is too short to be anything but happy.”

When someone’s post pops up check your emotions. What do you feel instantly? Do you remember betrayal? Do you cringe at a post and say, “Oh boy, here we go again.” If you feel negative emotions when you see someone’s name on your feed you probably should not have them in your friend group. If you smile when you see a post because you enjoy someone then that person is a keeper. When you waste your time on the negative Nellies, you are allowing people to steal your energy.

It’s interesting that your page is called your feed because when I hear that word I think of things that will fill me up and nourish me. If the people in your friend group don’t do that why are they there?

Eliminating people who judge you and don’t have your back is liberating. It feels as if you are standing up for yourself and improving your mental health.

If you are worried about someone’s reaction when he finds out you unfriended or unfollowed someone realize the truth is that person is probably too consumed with himself to even notice.

The American Psychological Association says that 35%-50% of first marriages end in divorce. Most divorces occur within the first five years of marriage and some of the causes include communication issues, infidelity, and issues with money. With such a high rate of divorce, what can you do to ensure you are not adding to those statistics? Here are 12 ideas to consider.

1. Choose well

Rushing into a relationship is never a good idea. Spend some time getting to know your partner before you make a life commitment. If this is the right person for you he or she will wait until you are both ready. Meet the family and friends and spend time doing what you both love.

2. Talk about all the important issues before you marry

Talk about whether you want to have children, where you want to live, and how you want to manage money and discuss your feelings about religion and politics. Don’t leave any of the important topics untouched because you think you know the answer. Find out now so you are not surprised after you say, “I do”.

3. Treat each other with respect

Have you ever felt awkward when a couple at a party start criticizing each other in front of everyone? Don’t tear your significant down. Compliment each other and respect each other’s ideas by listening and discussing them as adults even if you don’t agree.

4. Keep a sense of humor

Laughter solves so many problems, and it can ease tensions and lift spirits in a marriage. Laugh with each other and see the funny side of the situation.

5. Be each other’s champion

You need to know you have someone who will always support you and show you unconditional love. Be in each other’s corner.

6. Compromise

You probably won’t always agree on everything, so talk things out and make a compromise that works for both of you.

7. Don’t keep secrets

Keeping secrets is exhausting and it erodes the trust that is so important for you to have.

8. United we stand when dealing with the children

Children are very smart about playing parents against each other, so communicate well about decisions and discipline so you are both on the same page.

9. Listen well

Actively listen when your partner speaks. Put down the phone, look your partner in the eyes, and do not interrupt or try to finish sentences.

10. Trust

You have to trust each other to build a strong relationship. Make a commitment to earning that trust.

11. Stay intimate

Being intimate is much more than sex. It means touching, cuddling, and enjoying being next to each other.

12. Forgive

Both you and your spouse will probably do something that requires forgiveness. Give grace when you can, and as always communicate about it.

13. Be your spouse’s safe space

Your spouse should be that person you can tell anything without worrying about judgment. You should always have at least one person who feels like a safe place to land.

14. Enjoy your time together

Find things to do together you both enjoy. Create memories.

15. Spend some time apart

You also need some time apart to do your own thing and have some space.

Having a strong marriage will take some work, but it is worth the effort as you both make a life together and grow both as individuals and as a couple.