The Audio/kindle version of the Parker Series
These are a little late, but the audio and kindle editions of the parker series is now available.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CWV9YVM7
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What I Wish You Knew About Yourself
Are you ever surprised at someone’s self-perception and the way you perceive that person? I find myself shaking my head all the time when someone explains a fault or strength, and the description does not match reality.
My friend Raleigh has had two strokes, and heart surgery. The first stroke was massive, and the doctor told him he only survived because of his fitness level. While he was waiting for his release, he walked in loops around the hospital so he would stay in shape. He did a 10k race a week after his second stroke, even though he didn’t know yet that a hole in his heart was causing the strokes. Not only is he fearless, but he also never complains about anything. His attitude is that you deal with the challenges and carry on. He’s tough right? He would never describe himself that way, so I have to remind him all the time.
Raleigh is not the only one who doesn’t see his stronger qualities. I taught French for forty years and I was always having conversations with students who didn’t think they were good enough. I spoke with a girl who had a high GPA, had taken every advanced class known to man, did extra-curriculars, and was a general high achiever. She was starting to look at colleges when she said to me, “Madame, I don’t think I’m good enough for college.” I know my mouth was open in surprise when I replied, “If not you, then who?”
My friend Kim is a military airline mechanic. Imagine being a woman in a male dominated field. I think she is tough as nails, super cool, and she has wisdom that has helped me many times. The problem is she doesn’t recognize any of those qualities. How do you convince someone they are so much more than she thinks?
We spend too much time thinking we are less than we are, so here are a few things you should know about yourself.
- You are enough for any challenge, if you believe you can.
- Fear is a dream killer and there is no place for it in your life.
- Excuses for not doing something are fear of failure and they are all lies holding you back from the best you.
- You have some qualities that others admire.
- You have gifts you were meant to use. Don’t worry about what others think about how you use them.
- Don’t try to be someone you are not. The person you are trying to imitate might have some dark corners you don’t need to explore.
- Find your joy.
- Be transparent about your struggles. You could help someone else.
How to Make a Difference Today
Do you find yourself thinking you cannot make a difference because you are only one person? Making a difference every day is easier than you think. Small changes in your interactions can create significant changes that can create a domino effect. Here are a few ways to make a difference today.
Engage with others. When was the last time you texted or phoned family or friends? You never know when your text might come on a day someone is struggling and needs to know someone cares.
Talk to the person in the checkout line who obviously wants to talk. That person might need a connection, and it costs you nothing to listen.
Ask people how they are doing and actively listen to the answer.
Rise up for what you believe in. There are ways to stand up for what you believe is right. Be creative with your ideas to rebel within the law. Be smart about not doing something violent or dangerous.
Smile. When you smile at someone you are telling that person you think he is worthy of your notice. A smile can lift someone’s spirit when it is needed. A smile is a simple way to spread kindness.
Help someone. You don’t need to be rich or talented to help someone in need. Bring a meal to someone who is ill or experiencing hardship. Donate clothes and needed items to those who need them. Clean up the yard for someone who cannot. The best way to forget about your own troubles is to help other people solve their problems.
Be a role model. Show compassion and kindness and be a good human. Hopefully your good behavior will be contagious.
Surviving Uncertain Times
Surviving Uncertain Times
Our children were at our house for Sunday dinner and the conversation turned to how my children were struggling with uncertainty in our country right now. Two of my children own businesses that will be impacted by the tariffs. The youngest is just starting out in the job market and she is worried about how to protect and grow her money. I listened to their concerns and fears, but the truth is that there is always a degree of uncertainty in life and it always makes sense to prepare ourselves for the bumps in the road. Here are a few strategies to protect yourself.
- Evaluate your financial situation. Where do you stand financially? Are you struggling to get by? Are you living paycheck to paycheck, or do you have a healthy relationship with money? Here are a few things to consider about your financial situation.
If you are struggling, what changes can you make, and what resources can you use to get back on your feet?
Put aside emergency money even if it is only a few dollars a week. It will add up.
Talk to a financial advisor. We felt so much better when we knew we had an expert in charge of our finances.
Put your money in more than one spot. Invest the majority but also have some savings and have emergency cash as well. Clark Howard suggests $500 in cash per person.
Make a budget and recognize where your money is going.
- Guard your peace. Uncertain times can cause stress, worry, and other mental health issues. When your mental health is out of balance it can affect your physical health. You have to have some ways to stay calm even when life seems to throw you curve balls.
Remember it could always be worse. When you start to feel down because you are struggling, look around and realize it could always be worse.
Take some quiet time every day when you don’t have to talk or listen to anyone. Use that time to recharge.
Listen to soothing music. Music is inexpensive therapy.
Laugh with friends. It’s hard to be down when you are laughing.
Disconnect now and then and don’t listen to the news or scroll through social media.
- Start a garden. Before you start saying you wouldn’t be good at gardening, let me tell you that I could kill kudzu, and I still can grow a garden. Even if you live in a small space, you can grow a garden in containers. Growing a garden will save you money and it’s healthier.
- Become a prepper. This might sound extreme, but I don’t think there is anything wrong with being prepared for anything, so buy some extra water, have supplies you might need, and consider stocking the pantry with easy to make meals.
- Be a good human. United we are strong, but hate will make us weak. If we help each other when it’s necessary, we can make it through hard times.
I hope these tips help and I hope you will remember that we have survived some crazy moments, and we usually learn from them and come back stronger.
How to Thrive as a Strong Woman
It took me most of my life to realize that my easy-going, passive personality was not always bringing me the life I hoped for, and I needed to become stronger in several areas. Do you consider yourself to be a strong woman? Would you like to be? I can give you some advice that has worked well for me but first let’s talk about what it means to be a strong woman.
You might think you can’t be a strong woman if you are struggling with life and facing challenges. You are a strong woman if you face those challenges and continue to try to figure out how to solve them. Adversity is rarely fun, but it always makes us stronger, and as long as you learn from the struggles instead of allowing them to crush you, you will be better for it. It’s not what happens to you, it’s how you react to it.
A strong woman doesn’t need to compare herself to other women. She is doing the best she can with the resources she has. She doesn’t judge others because she knows everyone is carrying a burden even if we cannot see it, so she offers grace and kindness instead of hate.
A strong woman wants everyone around her to be successful, and she loves opportunities to be an encourager. If she has a problem with you, she will come to you for resolution instead of talking behind your back.
Here are a few pieces of advice to help you thrive as a strong woman.
Create the right crew.
I have had some unfortunate friendships, and each time I knew It was time to walk away, I was very disappointed. I decided it was time to choose friends who had the qualities I admired. We don’t have to wait for friends to come to us. We can find the people we want in our lives.
I wanted friends who were loyal, non-judgmental, genuinely good people who were kind and transparent. I wanted friends who would show up when I needed them knowing I would do the same for them. I wasn’t looking for perfect people. I wanted friends who were transparent about the flaws.
I chose my new friends from the running community because running is one of my passions, and I don’t know many runners who aren’t phenomenal people.
Having the right group of friends can make a huge difference.
Believe you are capable.
A strong woman needs a growth mindset. It doesn’t matter how many times you fail at something if you learn something from failure, and you try again. Rory McIlroy tried for years to win the Masters and finally did it this year. How sad if he had given up thinking he wasn’t good enough.
Communicate your boundaries.
This is so much more important than you might think. You have to tell people how to treat you. They need to know what is acceptable and what is not. You often have to have the most talks about boundaries with the ones closest to you. When someone is not respecting your boundaries, have a calm conversation with the person and explain what is wrong.
Know your value and claim your space. You have value, people should listen to you and show you respect. There is nothing wrong with explaining to someone calmly they have disrespected you. I was at a 6/12/24 hour ultra marathon. As an older runner, I am sometimes underestimated. I was looking at the 24-hour board to check my time. A woman who was there to support her husband looked at me and said, “This is the 24 board.” I said, “I know.” She looked at me in shock and said, “YOU are doing the 24-hour race?” I said, “Yes, I am, and I’m not sure why you are so surprised but I’m a little insulted.” She apologized. You have to realize people say some stupid things, but it’s okay to call them on it.
I hope these simple ideas help you realize you are stronger than you think and capable of anything.
You Never Know
Have you ever been surprised to discover someone else has a very different perception than you, or you discover that someone or something is very different than you thought? Here are a few examples,
When you feel like you are less than, you never know how many people would like to be like you.
When you wish you had done something better, you never know how many people you have inspired.
When you want to give up because you are discouraged, you never know how close you are to your next success.
When you want to slink away from any more interactions, you never know the valuable connections you may be missing.
When you hold someone up as perfect, you never know how many burdens that person is carrying or demons he is fighting.
When you judge someone, you never know when you should have extended grace.
When you tell a coworker she should speak up more in meetings, you never know how well she is listening and absorbing.
When you are hateful, you never know when you could be the fatal blow and when you are kind, you never know when you could save someone.
When you underestimate someone, you never know if that is the person who will save you.
Be the best human you can be because you never know who is watching and how your actions might influence someone.
My Love Affair With France
I am passionate about France including the language, literature, style of life, art, the people, culture in general, and of course the food. Let me tell you how my relationship with this country started, and how it has evolved into a scandalous love affair.
When I was 12, I decided I needed to make some goals. The goals I chose were to go to the Olympics for field hockey and to learn a foreign language. Unfortunately, I never made it to the Olympics, but I am fluent in French, I can handle myself in Spanish, and I can read Italian.
When I started out with French, I had no idea how learning a language would change my life. It has allowed me to live in France through a study abroad program, travel back with student groups and my family around 25 times, it has provided me the chance to make my children global citizens who understand the importance of travel because it teaches you about other cultures, and different ways of thinking. Through my job as a French teacher, I have also been able to travel to Belgium, Canada, Luxembourg, and Morocco. Because of my travels, I have made connections and friends that are important to me.
So, what is it about France that I love? I’ll do my best to explain through bullet points.
- The food. We took a group of women last year to Paris and they immediately commented on how fresh the food was. The food in France is healthier and fresher and it tastes amazing. When we go my favorite thing to order is a charcuterie board.
- The style of life. The French have different priorities than Americans. We tend to be work oriented while the French take life a little slower enjoying each other and life in general.
- The literature. Baudelaire, Ronsard, La Fontaine, Stendhal. The list of amazing writing is endless, and it is best read in French.
- Exploring the country. I lived in a town called Rouen in Normandy. My host mom used to always say that Paris was not France, and it’s true that you should visit more than Paris to have a feel for France. My favorite spots are Paris, St. Malo, Brittany in general, St. Pierre de Vence, and Aix-en-Provence.
- The French. There are so many misconceptions about the French. I hear people say the French are cold, rude, snobs…. Every country has jerks, but my experience with the French is they will treat you with great kindness if you do the same to you. Accept that there are some cultural differences then try to explore below the surface of those differences.
- Paris. I can hear my French mom sighing, but Paris has always held a special spot in my heart. I love that you can walk down a busy street and duck down a side street to peace and quiet. Everywhere you look there is something beautiful happening. Someone is singing, painting, or juggling. You can go for a walk and find something new, or you can go into something impossibly old like Notre Dame and lose your breath.
Every time I go to France, I am excited to see my old friend again as I wonder what new adventure is waiting for me.
The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly of Online Writing
Online writing is more complicated than you might think. There are some great reasons to write online, but it is not for everyone, and you have to decide what writing online can do for you and if the advantages outweigh the challenges. Here is a quick description of the pros and cons of online writing.
The Good
- Writing online provides you with a chance to interact with other writers and make valuable connections. Y
- You can learn valuable tips from other writers and discover important resources.
- Writing online allows you to create a writer’s footprint that will be important if an editor or publisher wants to see your work.
- Writing online can provide some extra income and it gives you a chance to practice and improve your craft.
The bad
- Writing online can be difficult.
- You have to be consistent and work hard at building followers and interacting with your audience.
- The revenue can be depressing, so you have to work on not being discouraged.
- Don’t read the articles that tell you that it’s easy to make $5,000 a month. Articles like that can make you wonder what you are doing wrong, but they often are not completely truthful.
- You have to sift through some trash to find the treasures, but they are there and well worth the search.
- Don’t follow all the advice because some of it is awful. Pick what will work for your writing.
The ugly
- Some writers will do anything to pull you into reading an article. It is true that your title should be creative and catchy but be truthful and deliver on what you are promising in your title. Don’t waste the reader’s time.
- There seems to be an angry writing trend where writers berate readers or other writers. I find this type of writing angry, hostile and condescending. I don’t unfollow many people, but I have let a few of the hostile ones go.
- You might have a month where your earnings seem pitiful. You might have a lot of those months. Remember why you write and keep on doing it.
A Checklist to Know When to Leave a Relationship
Have you ever been in a relationship where you question whether you should walk away, or continue working on it? Do you question if you are the problem, but you are the one investing in the relationship? Are you hesitant to walk away even though the red flags keep waving? You are not alone in this issue. A relationship is complicated, especially when a relationship starts out strong, but then turns toxic. Here is a checklist of what is not a healthy relationship. If many of these sound like your relationship, it is time to leave.
- Conversations are always centered on the other person and his needs, actions, plans, and desires. When you start to share about yourself, he talks over you to interject more about himself.
- He doesn’t listen.
- You feel like you are always walking on eggshells because this person is volatile and moody. When you know this person is moody, you try to not engage because it is never pleasant.
- You are always at fault when there is a problem. Your friend/partner is always the victim.
- You dream about how much easier life would be without him.
- You are polar opposites, and he does not respect your interests and beliefs.
- He sees everything as a burden including you.
- This relationship leaves you feeling lonely.
- Your friend/partner believes he is the only one capable of doing anything.
- Your friend partner makes you feel less than.
- There is no trust
- You cannot communicate well
- You are constantly unhappy.
- Your friends and family are concerned.
- Your friend/partner drains your energy.
- There is evidence of jealousy and control.
- There is a lack of support. Your attempts are belittled.
Easy, Sustainable Ways to Lose Weight
There are so many weight loss plans out there, but you need to ask yourself if they are healthy and sustainable. Drastic dieting might take weight off for a while, but chances are it will come back.
What you need to do for lasting weight loss is to make some long term changes. What if I told you those changes are easier than you think? Here are a few things that work for me.
Drink 8 glasses of water daily. I am not a fan of water, but I cannot deny the benefits. Water helps you feel fuller, eliminates toxins, gives you more energy, and improves your skin.
Avoid sweets. I know if you have a sweet tooth you are thinking you cannot do this, but you can. Find something good for you as a substitute. I eat blueberries and strawberries as dessert.
Snack smartly. Instead of chips eat carrots, yogurt,nuts, and protein.
Eat your biggest meal at lunch.
Eat more vegetables, and fish and less meat.
Move! It doesn’t matter how you move, but do something. You can walk, run, bike, take the stairs, and anything else that works for you.
Lift weights. Lifting iron can tone your muscles and help with weight loss. Start with light weights and work up to heavier.
Watch out for hidden calories.
Keep temptation out of your cupboard.
If you do all this consistently, you will see positive results.
Jennifer’s writing 