I want to talk to you about the power of a positive start to every day and how you can make that happen. How you start your day can set the tone, affect your emotions and change how your day will go. If you start the day with negative energy for example by arguing with a family member, your mood will start out negatively and that tends to cloud whatever else you do. If you are intentional about being positive, it can change everything. Even when negative things happen, if you treat them with a sense of humor you can turn the moment around. Here are a few ways to start the day right. Everyone is different, so I hope you can find something that works for you.

• Wake up before everyone else and enjoy the quiet in the house.
• Read a daily dose of inspiration. You can find some on Pinterest if you type in positive thoughts. Share it with someone and discuss it.
• Get out in nature and sit and take it in.
• Get out in nature and move. Exercise will wake you up, and you are doing something good for your health.
• Manifest how you want the day to be. You can use sentences like, “Today will be amazing.” “I will be at my best today.” “Only good things will happen today.” “I will keep becoming better.”
• Do acts of kindness. Helping others makes you feel good.
• Pray. I always say the same prayer. “Lord, help me to be the best I can be. Help me with the right words to lift people up and not tear them down.”

I hope you will give this exercise in positivity a try, and I am hoping it will work for you.

I have started using Patreon as a way to generate income and support my writing. One of my friends who is an artist makes around $4,000 a month through this platform, but I’m not sure if I will be as successful with writing. Has anyone else used it? How have you found success? I would love your support. Here is the link. https://patreon.com/jenniferbonn?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=join_link

I know I am not the only person who has a partner who snores the night away while I try to fall asleep despite the racket. Some nights are worse than others, and on the worse nights, I start the day exhausted. When I tell my husband he kept me awake he tells me to nudge him so he will stop, but I would rather sleep than constantly nudge someone.

We often think snoring is something that we all do, and over 90 million Americans say they snore, but it can be because of excess weight, sleep apnea, or a deviated septum. Ask your partner to check with a healthcare provider because two people are having their health affected. So what are the options if you love a snorer? Here are a few ideas.

Earplugs

I have a friend who has used earplugs for years and claims it saved her marriage. Research and see if a pair might work for you.

White noise

There are many white noise machines as well as options on your phone, or you can use a box fan to cancel out noise.

An anti-snoring mouthpiece

This gently moves the jaw forward to open the airway.

An anti-snore wristband

This gently pulses to relieve snoring. It shifts your body for better airflow without waking you up.

Anti-snoring pillow

It aligns the neck, head, and spine to reduce snoring.

Nose strips

There are nose strips you can use to open the airways.

Good luck! I am hoping something on the list works for you. I am going to go take a nap without my snorer.

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Do you ever feel the need to downplay accomplishments when you wish you could celebrate them more? Do you receive a less than enthusiastic reception when you try to celebrate them? Do people stop listening when you talk about the things you love? Many people would reply yes to all of these questions, but why should we hide our shine?

The first answer to that is in our society we see expressing success as bragging, so we want everyone to work hard to succeed but not tell us about it because others might feel bad that they have not found the same success. The first time I heard this concept I was in the doctor’s office. My husband and I have the same doctor. My husband had recently had a small stroke, and although the doctor at the hospital told him to exercise and lose weight, he was not doing it. I asked our doctor to talk to him. He said to me, “Jen, you run marathons. He can’t compete with you, so he does nothing.” I couldn’t wrap my head around that because I didn’t feel we were competing. I wanted us to work together.

That is where we have the problem and the solution. There is so much competition and comparison on social media that we don’t like hearing about someone’s success. If we only lifted each other up and shared our joy we might have stronger mental health. We all deserve to feel joy in our success.

If you are around a group of people who don’t see your light, and who don’t want to hear about what fills you up, it might be time to find a new crew who appreciates you. Each individual should be valued for what brings you a feeling of peace and happiness. When someone tries to dim that light move your energy somewhere else.

We spend so much time trying to please others and we let ourselves down and settle for less while we do it. Find your joy, do what fills you, and surround yourself with the people who recognize your value.    

It’s a normal response to think that rest and inactivity will help when we have an injury or other health setback, but it turns out that it is better to keep it moving even if you have to moderate or alter your activity. I had two recent experiences where this was the case.

Ten years ago, when I strained my knee running the message I heard from my doctor and my chiropractor was to stay off my knee and rest it. My orthopedist told me all runners were crazy and I needed to start biking, and he added that my running days were over, but my physical therapist showed me how to keep going to protect myself from injury.

Even that amazing woman couldn’t protect me from my border collie colliding with my knee last summer on its path to the Frisbee, tearing my meniscus. The message for healing from everyone was very different this time. Although the MRI tech told me I should try biking, everyone else told me to keep moving to keep the blood flowing.

I heard the keep it moving message during COVID too. It had been about a month since having COVID and I could not shake the crushing fatigue. I called the doctor who knew I was a runner expecting him to tell me to rest, but he told me to push myself to my physical limits because I was tired because I wasn’t getting enough oxygen. I will always remember him saying, “Don’t let this thing win.”

You can change the message slightly for your health to say don’t let age or sickness, or any type of poor health win. Keep it moving to stay strong enough to face any challenge.

Mother’s Day is a chance for us to thank the woman who gave birth to us and had the patience to raise us. Social media will be filled with pictures of families enjoying time celebrating the matriarch. There will be flowers, great food, and presents.

All of those celebrations are expected, but what if your mother is no longer alive? I hope you will join me in cherishing the memories even if you can’t have her next to you. Answer the following questions to help refresh your memory. I will add my answers and I hope that between my answers and yours, you will be smiling in no time.

What was her laughter like?

My mom would start with a very quiet, “Ha, ha.” that then turned into belly laughs.

What was the most important part of your relationship?

She gave me unconditional love, and she thought I could do no wrong. She would have stood up for me no matter what.

What did she teach you?

Mine taught me so many things. I can hear her voice giving me advice all the time. At a recent trail race, I was caught on a mountain in a thunder and lightning storm, and I could hear her saying, “Don’t be up high, near trees, and never, ever be in the water in a lightning storm.” She taught me to swim and skate, but she did the best job teaching me spirituality. Faith was a big priority to her, and I am so grateful to her for teaching me that.

What did she like to do?

My mom’s love language was food. She loved to cook and to feed people. My nephew said he spent so much time at our house because there was always food. She knew food was love. She loved large family gatherings.

What are some random memories?

She was always dressed up and would never leave the house without makeup, earrings, and lots of hairspray. She used Jean Nate for perfume. She couldn’t drink coke because it gave her hiccups. She was a master gardener. She spied on the neighbors because they were very interesting. She said she wanted to make sure they were o.k.

How did she change your life?

Both my parents were very strict, but my mom let me find my own way. She didn’t try to influence my decision except for where I went to school. Our public schools were not very good, so my mom worked two jobs so I could go to private schools. At one time, I said I wanted to go to public school, and she told me I was going to stay where I was. My education made a huge difference.

This Mother’s Day, even if your mom is not with you remember the time you spent together.

There are moments in our lives when life shifts completely, and usually, we are not ready for the change. The shift might be a blessing or a tragedy, but it always requires us to show some resilience and flexibility, and it is usually charged with emotions.

There are all sorts of life changes, but here is some common advice to follow when life shifts.

Focus on what you can control.

When our lives change suddenly we can feel disoriented. To gain some normalcy back, focus on what you can handle instead of focusing on what seems out of control.

Practice self-care

When our lives become crazy, it can be easy not to take care of ourselves. We lose our appetite and don’t have the motivation to exercise. You have to take care of yourself to move forward. Be kind to yourself.

Focus on the positive

There are always positives even in the negative changes. Keep a sense of gratitude for what is left.

Make a plan.

I once heard that when a major change happens, you shouldn’t make any drastic decisions for 6 months, but I’m sure that varies depending on the situation.

Seek support.

Big changes can be overwhelming, so don’t be afraid to ask for help in whatever form you need. People are usually glad to lend a helping hand.

Acknowledge emotions.

Keeping your feelings locked inside is unhealthy and will adversely affect you both physically and mentally. You can seek professional help or seek help from family and friends. Often, it helps to just share how you are feeling.

Let’s look at a few examples of when life suddenly changed for someone, and how the person involved handled the situation.

The death of a spouse

The death of a spouse will be devastating in any case, but when it is unexpected it can be even worse. I had a co-worker who lost her husband unexpectedly in a bizarre accident. He was out in the yard cleaning up when a large branch came off of a tree knocking him backward. He hit his head hard against some large rocks and was rushed to the hospital where he died several days later. When I heard the news I looked at my husband and said, “Honey, he was only doing yard work, and in a moment everything changed.” My co-worker eventually came up with a plan to move on and her family has rallied around her to help her.

We all hope something like that will never happen, but we should be prepared. Gather the information that a spouse or other family member will need to know if something happens. My husband has a spreadsheet with everything including expenses, companies we use, and any other important information. Our children know where to find it.

The birth of a child

This is a wonderful moment, but it is also a time that turns your life upside down. Not only will you be sleep deprived, and scared that you are a horrible parent, but you will also receive some of the most outlandish, unhelpful advice you have ever heard. When my daughter had a baby I told her during the first year just make sure the baby is fed, loved, and has a clean diaper. Anything else you manage is a bonus. It is also important to practice self-care and not feel guilty about it. All of the struggles will be worth it.

The Big Break

Are you prepared for that moment when you suddenly have a chance for your dream? Believing you can make it is your first step, but you need to have a plan for how you are going to handle your life when everything changes, and your dream is waiting.

Sudden illness

Do you remember the girl in Georgia, Aimee Copeland who lost several limbs after contracting a flesh-eating bacteria after using a zipline? One moment of normal fun changed everything, but while most people would be feeling sorry for themselves, Aimee has been an advocate for people with disabilities. We can’t always control what happens to us, but we can control how we react.

There are many other life-changing moments, but the advice on top can apply to almost all of them. Be prepared for the unexpected, and I pray that all of those moments are positive ones for you.

Don’t you wish there was a user’s guide for life? We could look in the index for whatever challenge we were facing, and we would know what tools and actions were necessary for that moment. Although it’s harder to figure it out through trial and error, those struggles often teach us valuable lessons and strengthen us. There are a few tools I would recommend to make challenges easier to conquer.

A positive attitude

Your attitude changes everything. It affects the energy around you and makes things happen. Positivity will draw people to you; they might be the crew you need to solve those challenges. Believe you can and you will believe you can’t, and you won’t.

A sense of humor

There are days when it feels like everything is going wrong, but you always have a choice about how you react. If my choices are to laugh or cry, I will choose laughter every time. It’s impossible to stay upset after you have had a good laugh.

Curiosity

Asking questions is the way we learn, so stay curious and don’t be afraid to ask about what you don’t know. Be curious about people and ask them about their stories. We have so much to learn from each other.

Empathy/Kindness

Everyone has issues and burdens, and we often have no idea how heavy those burdens are. Be kind to others and try to understand when someone is frustrated and not being a perfect human a little bit of kindness might heal some of the hurt. Random acts of kindness are fun to do and they usually cause a domino effect.

Resilience

It doesn’t matter how many times you fail as long as you learn from the experience and keep getting back up instead of giving up. If one way doesn’t work try something else.

Grit

You have to develop some grit to do well in life. Don’t let others’ judgments affect you as long as you feel you are doing your best. Be strong for others and have faith that you will succeed with hard work.

One of my most fun French classes when we were in Covid lockdown and teaching virtually was when I told the students to be ready to cook at 8 a.m. the next day. I gave them all the ingredients and what they needed to cook with and told them I would meet them in the kitchen. They knew that they needed to have 6 hard-boiled eggs peeled and sliced lengthwise on a platter. Here is the recipe I gave them for the French mayonnaise.

One egg yolk

Crack the egg over a bowl and pass the egg to the empty side of the shell gradually getting rid of the clear liquid until only the yolk is left. Many of the students didn’t know how to separate an egg, so it was fun to hear their reactions. Discard the clear liquid and put the yolk in a bowl.

Add 1 teaspoon of mustard. If you have Dijon that is the best.

Add a dash of salt and pepper.

This is the important part. You are going to add a cup of vegetable oil, but you need to add it slowly. Add some oil, stir the mixture, then add and stir gradually until all the oil is in and you have a smooth texture.

Place some lettuce under the hard-boiled eggs and you can either put the mayonnaise in a bowl on the side to add as they want, or you can spread the mayonnaise on the eggs.

This recipe is so easy to make and delicious. Have fun!