Have you ever been thinking about something, and when you ask a question you hear an answer in your mind? Two years ago, we lost our dog, and because of Covid it was more difficult to adopt at shelters, so I wasn’t sure where to look for our next dog. A voice in my head said, “It will come to you.” I took that as a message that I needed to be patient. Several months later, my neighbor said she was going to rescue a border collie. I asked my husband if we could see him, and before I knew it we had a new dog. Not only had he come to me, but it was a breed that I had always wanted to have.

Since I left teaching three years ago, I occasionally ask myself if I want to go back into the classroom. I was having my version of a conversation with God when I asked him to not open that door unless he wanted me to start teaching again. I said if he wanted me in the classroom I would go, but to please not let it be a possibility unless I was supposed to do it. That afternoon, something happened that proved to me I would not be happy going back to the job I was doing. I told my husband that God not only shut the door, he slammed it shut! I was a little sad because of the conviction that I was done with teaching, and I was scrolling through Facebook when words of encouragement were in front of me. It said, “Healing from the past wounds or past experiences sometimes feels hard, but don’t give up on yourself. Know that the trials and tests you go through are leading you to something better than before. No experience is ever wasted. Every challenge has a purpose. As soon as you figure out what it is, you will handle things better because you will be focused. You are loved.” The next morning, I was still a little down when I saw an update notification from my photo app. I have never opened this app, so I thought this was strange, and when I opened it there was a video collage from a family trip with the most peaceful music playing. I felt like it was a gift.

My family and I went to Goodwill to buy some books for my grandson. I had complained recently to my daughter that I was frustrated that I could not earn more money with my writing. When we were checking out the cashier looked at one of the books and said, “Oh, Richard Scarry. Do you know the story about his writing? This book was rejected 29 times, and then finally someone decided to publish it. He talks about refusing to give up on his dream and finally succeeding. I just think it’s something we should all remember.” My daughter was staring at me with a smile while the cashier was speaking. As we left my daughter said, “Well, if that wasn’t God talking to you, I don’t know what it was.”

 These are only three examples of the messages God can send. Stay open to the messages!

One of the topics everyone is talking about this summer is the heat. Even living in a city called Hotlanta has been a little warmer than usual. I also have been running quite a few races this summer, so it was crucial to find ways to stay cool while running.

Ultra marathons have always been races where I have had the most incredible learning experiences, and this summer was no exception. I ran an ultra the first and last weekend in July and I found several great ways to stay cool.

Facial misters

We discovered these when we were in Paris during a heat wave. They come in various sizes that you can hold in your hand or tuck away somewhere. During the ultras, I put mine in the bottom of our cooler, and when I needed to cool down I pulled the mister out of the ice, and I could spray myself with ice water. Our friends were in the tent behind us and they were struggling with the heat, so I passed them an extra Evian mister, and I heard my friend Chris say, “Whoa, this is a game changer!” She tells me that an Evian mister is always in her cooler now. You can find them in your pharmacy or on Amazon.

Headgear

One of the ultras was run completely on asphalt, so it was even hotter than if we were on a trail. I had several buffs that I had intended to keep cool and wear around my neck, but I saw a woman who had used it to cover her head, and she was putting ice into the buff. My husband had brought several plastic sandwich bags that we were filling with ice and putting in our hats.

Ice padding

A woman told me that she takes the round cold compresses and puts them in her sports bra.

Cold towels

I had several towels in the cooler that I could put around my neck, or use on my face.

Bio freeze

I developed a heat rash on the backs of my legs. We had a running coach in the tent next to us, and she asked me if I wanted her to spray my legs with bio freeze. I would never have imagined that as a cure for heat rash, but it felt amazing.

Ice water

We had a cooler filled with ice, water, and an electrolyte drink. The water was ice cold, and not only did it taste amazing to drink, but it was also great to put on the back of my neck.

Those are some things that helped us stay cool physically, but we all know that staying cool mentally during a run can be just as important as the physical aspect. Have you ever run a race where your performance was affected by your ability to focus and not give up despite the circumstances? I had a situation like this last Saturday.

I race regularly with my friend Raleigh. We meet at the local grocery store and ride together. Usually, one of us sends a quick text to say something like, “Are you ready to run?” On Saturday, I did not send a text. I arrived at the grocery store and waited. Several minutes after our meeting time I texted Raleigh to see what was wrong. He texted back to say his alarm had not gone off. He made it in record time and we headed off to the race. When we turned into the park there was a long line of cars. We parked a mile away and then hurried to pick up our bibs. We had ten minutes until race time, but after 40 minutes in the car, I needed to use the bathroom even though the line was long. As I came out a man said the race had just started, so I sprinted to the start line. There were 2,000 people at the race, and I started dead last. The 2,000 people were all trying to fit on a tiny sidewalk, so to pass people I often had to run off the path in the mud and puddles. There was a woman walking with a cane, and as I passed her she swung the cane behind her and almost hit me in the knees. At one point, I thought that I should just accept that there were too many people and I had started too late, but then I decided to have fun and do my best. At mile two the crowds finally thinned a bit and I only had to dodge around people here and there. There were dogs, strollers, small children, and lots of mud and puddles, but it was fun to see everyone having fun. By some miracle, I came in first in my age group! It pays to stay cool even when things don’t look too promising.

I have always been in love with language. When I was in elementary school I used to make up funny rhymes, and in high school, writing helped me make it through a few essays I wasn’t prepared for. Language saved me in middle school and high school in the form of reading. Our town had a massive stone library that looked like a castle complete with a very scary basement where the bathrooms were located. I was socially awkward at that time, so losing myself in a book in an amazing environment was helpful.

I often dreamed of how wonderful it would be to be a writer, but I didn’t think I was good enough, and I didn’t think it would be practical because I needed a regular paying job. I taught for 40 years and during that time I wrote as often as I could, and I managed to publish a teacher’s guide, write a regular running column, and publish in many magazines, but teaching was time-consuming, so I am happy that now that I’m retired I have more time to write.

I am feeling blessed that I have been very busy with my writing lately. I write for a local magazine called Community Spirit, so every other month I write an article about fitness for them. I also have a blog with an online parenting magazine called Screamin Mamas, and I have my own blog called Jennifer’s Writing. I used to write for our local paper and several magazines and although it was great to have my articles published, most of that work was for free, and I decided it wasn’t where I wanted to place my energy anymore. I write for two online sites now, I have three published books, a fourth will be out in three months, and I am writing the fifth now. My taste in everything is eclectic, so I have a teacher’s guide, a self-help, a children’s book, a running book, and the fifth is fiction.

I wrote each of my books for a specific reason. The first one Stay Away From The Girl’s Bathroom is a teacher’s guide that I wrote because I heard several teachers saying they did not feel they were good teachers and they wished there was a guide for teaching. The final push was when a young teacher did a chapel speech on why you didn’t need to be great. As long as you were just good that was o.k. I think we owe our children an attempt at being as great as we can be. I tried to make the book humorous while putting in useful information for teachers. The title is because the girl’s bathroom at our school was the drama hub at our school. You didn’t go in there unless you had plenty of time and energy. Here is an excerpt from Stay Away From The Girl’s Bathroom. “Teaching is full of ironies. Here are some examples. Your school has adopted a new textbook which comes with a variety of supplemental activities. Your principal is certain you will be a better teacher now that you have a book with all the bells and whistles. Unfortunately, you have to read three 1,000-page instructional manuals in order to know how to use the new materials.

The night before a class, you spend four hours preparing a great activity for the internet only to find when you enter the class the server is down, and the internet is not available.”

I have a section called The Typical Day of a Teacher. I put many of the things that had gone wrong at one time or another, so everything being described happened to me only not on the same day.

My first book was the only one I was asked to put in a dedication

My second book, 101 Tips to Lighten Your Burden was written because I saw so many people struggling around me. Mental health was an issue for many before Covid, but it became even worse after the pandemic. I wanted to offer some short readings that were like having your best friend offer you some encouragement. I have had quite a few people send me notes saying one of the tips helped them. One was from a friend who runs ultra-marathons with me. I have always thought she was tough, but I knew she didn’t believe in herself. She always picked the shorter distance to run. One day she sent me a picture of the tip that says, “Believe you can. Many of us suffer from insecurities and would rather avoid trying something new and failing at it than being stagnant with what is comfortable. We cannot grow until we step out of our comfort zone, but often that first step is terrifying. Positive thinking can send out strong energy and when you use positive words of affirmation, it is amazing to see the results.” She ran the Marine Corps Marathon shortly after that.

My third book is a children’s book called What I Hope for You, A Grandmother’s Wishes. I wrote this book for my grandson Parker. My daughter said, “Mom it’s time to write a children’s book.” I sat down and thought about what type of life I hoped Parker would have. The writing flowed out of me, and it took me ten minutes to write it. I think God was sitting next to me to help. I would like the book to be something Parker can always have to remind him how much I love him. I would love to see other parents and grandparents use it the same way. The wishes are a combination of hopes for happiness, strong character, and life mixed with excitement, blessings, and a feeling of magic in everyday life. One of my cousins was recently killed in a car accident. Her daughter had given birth to her third child a week before the accident. The daughter sent me a video of her oldest reading the book to the other children. My cousin said, “They have already read it five times, they think it’s Nana talking.” Here is the beginning of the book. “Child of my heart, I am so grateful you are my grandchild. In the quiet moments, I cuddle you close and pray the life ahead of you is filled with blessings and happiness. There are so many things I hope for you.”

My fourth book will be out in three months, and it’s called The Healing Power of Running. This book is important to me because running has saved me many times both physically and mentally. Running is healing for me because it makes me calm and brings me peace. When my son was born with a bleeding blood vessel in his brain he had to have a brain operation when he was a week old. I was so overcome with emotion that five days after giving birth I was out running. When my husband was struggling with alcoholism I ran…a lot.

The book details how running has helped others as well. I am hoping the stories give people hope to know there are healthy escapes from the challenges we face.

During my time at races, I have heard countless stories of people who had a health challenge or illness. Instead of staying sad, these people decided to not only keep moving forward, but they also decided they were going to crush the challenge and end up stronger than before. Here are a few of the stories that stand out to me.

My friend Raleigh and I were at a small race called Run for the Son. We were waiting near the start when a man and his son approached us. The man said he was recovering from surgery and today was the last race where he had to wear a colostomy bag. I had complained I was tired that morning and that conversation put everything in perspective. After the race, another man approached us and told us that he had a condition where fluid built up on his brain. He had already had 15 operations to drain the fluid. He said he was running to show his daughters that they needed to stay positive and not give up.

Another race I will always remember was Run for Recovery, a race to support addiction recovery. We were leaving when I started talking to a man in the parking lot. He told me he would not be alive if it wasn’t for running. Running had given him something to focus on.

We also spoke to a woman at a race who had cancer. She said she ran to prove she was stronger than the disease.

I am also writing my first fiction book called The Hidden Treasure. Here is the plot.

Emily Randall’s father often told her and her brother of a treasure his relative Fiona Randal hid within their house. Fiona’s husband had made a fortune in the shipping industry, but he, unfortunately, died on one of his trips. In order to keep Rose Gate, Fiona had to marry her unsavory cousin. She wanted to have something to leave her son, so she hid the fortune at Rose Gate. Unfortunately, Fiona died in childbirth, and Fiona’s treasure was never found. Fortunately, though, her son made his own fortune.

Emily has not thought about the treasure for years, but when she is reunited with her best friends after marriage, they receive a visit from Emily’s cousin Lord James who claims her brother Henry has died in a shipwreck, and now Lord James will inherit Rose Gate.

The friends enlist the aid of a Duke, and Emily is determined to keep Fiona’s treasure out of Lord James’ hands while also saving Rose Gate. As Emily and Rylan explore both their strong attraction to each other and the possibility of treasure somewhere within the house, as well as the danger involved, they have to ask themselves if the real treasure is buried on the estate grounds or in their own hearts.

Writing brings me peace. I catch myself smiling as I play with words on the page. My best ideas come when I am running. I have a whiteboard on a podium in my office and when an idea hits me I run inside to write it down. Other ideas come from friends who say, “Jen, you need to write an article about this.” Sometimes, a conversation will spark an idea, or I will see something in the media. I never have a shortage of things to write about.

My daughter went to see the Barbie movie with her boyfriend. When she came home she told me she cried during the movie. When I asked why she said there was a part where a mom explained what it was like to be a woman. I asked her if she cried because it was so accurate, and she nodded. The next day she asked me to go see it with her.

I expected a fluffy, funny movie and there was some of that, but there were also some powerful messages I hope are not overlooked or dismissed. There are some people who could perceive those messages as feminist whining, but I hope they keep an open mind instead of denying what women will tell you still happens.

I will tell you a few moments that were powerful for me, but I have to be careful not to give away the plot in case you go to see it.

Ken and Barbie go to the real world and their perceptions of their interactions with men vary greatly. Ken says there is a different feeling here, but it doesn’t feel violent, but Barbie says she senses violence. If you are a man ask a woman in your life if she has ever felt uncomfortable or threatened in a situation involving men. Most women have experienced the moment a man looks at them as if they are a dessert he can have if he wants. Watch how men look at women in a gym. We have a heavily wooded park near our house where my husband walks our dog. It’s a beautiful spot, but I would never go there by myself because as a woman I am more vulnerable to violence. It shouldn’t be that way.

The all-male board at Mattel wants to put Barbie back in her box just as women are often subjected to the mentality that keeps us in a box. We still live in a culture that believes beautiful and sexy cannot be paired with intelligence, and if you are beautiful you are trying to tempt men. The men putting Barbie in the box begin to tighten the ties on her hands just as women have their hands tied because no matter how we dress or act we are judged.

I cried when the mom described why it’s hard to be a woman because I wish it was different for my daughters, but we struggle with the same issues. I also cried because it has been difficult. Women are treated as less than every day. At my first job, I was told I would make less than my male colleagues because eventually, they would have to support a family.

I cried again when the creator of Barbie talked about what moms do for daughters. My daughter was also crying and told me later that was the part she wanted me to see.

I liked the movie and there are some very funny parts in between the messages. I would highly recommend it. I hope it stimulates some great conversations.

f you haven’t heard yet there is some controversy about singer Jason Aldean’s recent song, Try That in a Small Town. He has been accused of racism and promoting violence. Mr. Aldean tweeted, “In the past 24 hours I have been accused of releasing a pro-lynching song, and was subject to the comparison that I was not too pleased with the nationwide Black Lives Matter protests. These references are not only meritless but dangerous. There is not a single lyric in the song that references race or points to it, and there isn’t a single video clip that isn’t real news footage.”

My first reaction to this attack on his song was I wondered if the critics realized that the criticism was going to send the song’s popularity through the roof because everyone would want to watch the video and form an opinion.

I’m assuming the idea that he is promoting violence is when he talks about having his grandfather’s gun. In my small town, it’s a law that every head of household has a gun. It’s for self-preservation and defense. Maybe we would have less violence if the criminals knew we could defend ourselves.

My husband and I watched the video together and I said, this is a perfect example of a difference in perceptions. I come from a small town and I know that feeling of community he is talking about. If someone was in need that person only had to ask for help. That sense of community can be harder to form in a city where there is more fear of crime.

His use of good ole boys raised upright could have caused some issues. A good ole boy describes the way someone was raised. It doesn’t mean the person is racist.

In my opinion, his song says that people in a small town are going to take care of each other, and stand up for what they believe is right, but because it is America you can form your own opinion.

Many of us are caught up in our daily routines and we forget the importance of reflection as a way to do a self-check. Once in a while we should stop and ask ourselves some basic questions. Here are a few of the more important ones.

How is your mental health?

Sometimes it feels as if we are only trying to survive. We don’t have time to think about how we are doing mentally. It’s a good idea to do a self-checkup now and then. What is your stress level? If it’s high that can affect your health, find an outlet to release the stress, or delegate some of your tasks to others. Are you happy? If your answer is no you can do something about it. Make a list of what is making you feel down and brainstorm an action plan to change the situation. Are you working in a toxic environment? In a toxic relationship? Make changes and your mental health will hopefully improve.

How is your physical health?

I know so many people who take care of themselves last, but if you aren’t healthy how can you be there for others? Eating well, sleeping enough, and moving in some form will all influence your overall health. It doesn’t have to be rocket science. Find an exercise that you will do consistently. Eat colorful food and stay away from most white foods. (cauliflower is great though) Put away the screens and sleep well.

How is your work/home balance?

After 40 years of teaching, I wish I had put family first more than I did. When you retire your company will continue without you, but hopefully, your family will still be there, so invest your time in the right spots.

Whose needs are you meeting?

I did not realize how much my family needed me home until I retired. My daughter in college needed to talk about life, use me as an essay editor and judge outfit choices, my oldest wanted me to watch her baby, talk about everything, and laugh with her, and my husband likes knowing I am in the house. I make sure I have plenty of time to do the things I need to do as well.

What are your goals and expectations?

What are you hoping to achieve and how are you going to do it? Make some goals and keep adjusting them to fit changes.

How is your spiritual life?

Spiritual doesn’t always mean religious, but a connection to something spiritual can bring you peace. You can have a spiritual connection to God, nature, and the universe, and I’m sure there are other examples.

Have you always wanted to do something, but you didn’t do it because you didn’t think you would be good at it? Have you stopped doing something because of a hateful comment, or stepped out of your comfort zone to do something, but felt as if you were out of place or an imposter? Don’t worry because you are not alone. I’m pretty sure everyone has had these feelings at some point, but they hold us back from experiencing adventures. The fear of failure or humiliation can be so great that it can paralyze us from doing something we would enjoy. Here are a few examples I have seen or experienced myself.

I taught at the high school level for most of my career, but at one point I had a chance to teach at the local university. My oldest was a student at the time, so on the first day we rode in together. I said to my daughter, “I’m so nervous. They are going to find out I am a high school teacher, not a professor.” She looked at me and said, “Mom, if you are a good teacher for them that’s all that matters, and they are going to be so much more nervous than you are.” I love it when my children are wiser than I am. I loved my time at the university, and no one complained that I also taught at the local high school.

I am in love with running, and it has saved my health both physically and mentally. I am always sad when someone says they want to be a runner but then gives me all the reasons he cannot do it. I hear people all the time saying they would not be able to do it.

Twenty years ago, I was coaching cross country and loving it. I found out that you could design a pair of running shoes on Nike’s website, so I designed a pair of running flats that had cross country written in silver letters along the side. The first and only time I raced in them a woman passed me and said, “Well, at least you have cool shoes.” I know, ouch! I told myself I wasn’t good enough to wear those shoes and put them in the back of my closet. Last night, we were in a sports store and a man was telling his son that you could custom design shoes. I remembered the shoes, pulled them out, and wore them today. I let a hater stop me from wearing those beautiful shoes. Don’t allow mean comments to hold you back.

Gardening gives me peace. I walk into that space, and I can release any negativity I carried in there. I have recommended it to many people, but I often hear people say they would like to try but they don’t know where to begin. So many times it only takes one step to start something wonderful. Take the step because you could be missing out on something fun.

I actually love to cook, but my husband wants to be the master chef, so for years I have let him do it, but I am going to start spending more time in the kitchen. Do what you love!

The bottom line is you should always do your best, give yourself some grace if you fall short, do new things without the fear of failure, and if you do fail get back up and try again. Don’t listen to the haters or the naysayers. Enjoy life!

There are moments when writers wonder if they are making a difference with their writing, or if they will reach their goals whatever those goals might be. I would encourage everyone to keep a folder and note the times someone has said something you wrote or said made a difference. Use those notes to motivate you to keep encouraging and spreading kindness. Your words might even save someone. I am going to give a few examples of how words have worked well for me. I am only using them to illustrate what words can do, so please don’t think I think I am all that and a bag of chips. I always feel as if I am one chip short of a full bag!

My sister had just gone through a divorce after thirty years of marriage. Although she loved her husband deeply he told her he had never loved her, and he wanted to be with a younger woman he had met. Shortly after the divorce, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. I brought lunch one day for her and as we were talking she told me that she wasn’t sure she could go on. I told her that our family was made of stronger stuff than that and she was going to be o.k. She told me ten years later that she was going to take her life that day, but my words stopped her. I am so thankful for something that made me go visit that day.

I was at school during my free period when our receptionist came to my door and said, “I have the mayor’s secretary on the phone. Can I transfer her to you?” When I answered the secretary told me the mayor wanted to meet with me. When I asked her what was it about she said she wasn’t sure, but she thought it might be about something I wrote. I came home and told my husband, and he asked me why I was nervous. I told him I felt as if I had done something wrong.

When I met the mayor he told me he had read an article I wrote called Blessings, not Burdens, and he had used it in a eulogy for a friend who had passed. He said his friend always saw the blessings instead of the burdens. He also said that he thought God had put us together for a reason. He thought maybe we should be helping each other. It made me feel good that a message I had expressed in an article was important to someone.

I wrote a self-help book called 101 Tips to Lighten Your Burden, and I had several people send me pictures of the tips that mattered to them. One that stood out was from my friend Vikki. Vikki is a badass trail runner. She has grit to spare, but she didn’t believe in her ability. We went to several ultra-marathons together and she always stopped after a few hours. One day, when she was trying to conquer a challenge she sent me a picture of the tip that starts with, “Believe you can.” I knew once she conquered the mental challenge nothing would stop her.

I had written an article about a man at our local YMCA who was responsible for creating a community among the seniors. He was called The Godfather, and the article was called We All Need a Little More Joe. Joe passed recently and his family reached out to me and asked if I could send the article because they wanted to display it at the funeral. That was an honor for me.

My first children’s book, What I Hope for You A Grandmother’s Wishes, was just released. My cousin posted a video on Facebook of her daughter reading it to her sons. She said they had already read it six times because they felt as if it was their nana who had just passed speaking to them. If nothing else comes from this book that video made it worthwhile.

You never know when your words are going to make a difference. I say the same prayer every day when I get up. “Father help me to lift people up with my words and not tear them down.”

Keep writing and realize that you are making a difference even when you least suspect it.

I remember reading What to Expect When You Are Expecting. I had so many questions about being pregnant and people were giving me all sorts of information, and some of it seemed slightly crazy. It was comforting to have a book that gave me an idea of what was happening during my pregnancy.

I have often wondered why we don’t have guidebooks for other milestones in our lives. We could all use some help with marriage, parenthood, and aging. The difference between finding information for pregnancy and aging is that with pregnancy people overshare, but with aging there is a lot of silence other than telling you it is going to be rough. My answer to that statement is we have to figure out how to live each segment of our lives and we can also figure out how to age well.

I would have appreciated some advance notice on what to expect while aging, so I will share with you what I know so far. Remember that every part of our lives will be better with laughter and a positive attitude, so I hope you will find the humor in some of these.

People will underestimate you.

There are stereotypes about older people, and it can be frustrating. If you are checking out at a store and you don’t move fast enough, the clerk will try to walk you through the process assuming you don’t know how to use simple technology, or your brain is a little slow. You will hear comments that are rude, but the young person saying them doesn’t know any better. We were in a restaurant once and all the creamers were flavored. My husband asked for regular creamer and the waitress said, “Oh, sure. I’m still young so I like the flavored kind.” Don’t let the crazy comments bother you.

There are a lot of assumptions that you are not as capable as you once were but don’t believe that nonsense for a minute. Try new things to stimulate your brain, keep moving, get out in the community, and enjoy life.

Upkeep is harder

I remember the first time around fifty that I looked into a magnifying mirror. I had way too much facial hair, so I turned to my family and said, “Why didn’t you tell me?” They told me they thought I knew. My friend Dan mentioned that sideburns start growing from your ears, and a mustache is really elongated nose hair.

I have different creams for everything. There is a calming cream for strange bumps that appear, one for crepy skin, and one for tightening. I even have one that has caffeine in it because it takes a few minutes in the morning for my face to wake up.

My friend Sally says she feels like she looks like a turkey because her neck and eyes sag. We no longer buy eyeshadow because our lids don’t look the same.

Your priorities change

Most of us in our thirties and forties are focused on succeeding at work, but as we age the importance of family and friends becomes clearer. Enjoying life and slowing down seems to make more sense. What other people think about you doesn’t matter as much.

You have battle scars

There are scars from adventures or illnesses, and there are stories behind each one.

You realize the importance of time

My friend Raleigh says that he realizes he has limited time to do all the things he wants, so time is precious to him. He wants to travel and have adventures instead of putting them off until later.

You see the beauty in things

When you are older you observe things more, you appreciate beauty in all its forms, and you want to experience it.

You develop allergies and maladies

As a French teacher, developing an allergy to hazelnuts was a crushing blow. Hazelnuts are a main ingredient in Nutella which is found in most crêpes. It is also in my favorite French chocolate. I also just started having issues with my heart’s rhythm, (AFib). You start wondering what else will happen while being grateful that it isn’t worse.

You lose control of some body functions

Women over the age of forty will tell you that they have incontinence issues when jumping is involved, or they have to go too long without a bathroom. It can also happen when sneezing or coughing. I used to tell my family that when I was eighty I was going to burp and fart in public unapologetically, but I had no idea that twenty years before that I wouldn’t be able to control it. It is embarrassing to be walking through a store when a poot sneaks out and I had no idea it was about to happen. Just walking and pooting. I am becoming good at blaming my family.

You sometimes need an oil can

When you are younger, you can jump out of bed in the morning, but if you do that when you are older you might throw out a hip. Your joints need a minute to warm up before you ask too much of them. If you sit too long everything seizes up, so you need a few steps before your legs start working. When you go downstairs you need to hold onto something. Doing squats is an all-around bad idea.

Your vision and hearing changes

When vision issues develop most people are in denial at first. Our house has reading glasses everywhere because we don’t want to admit that we might need a stronger prescription. My friend Dan says, “Without my glasses, I’m Zeus in the mirror!”

I also swear that people have started to mutter, and my hearing is not suffering.

You have multiple doctors

I used to have one doctor for everything then during the childbearing years I added a gynecologist then a chiropractor, and an eye doctor, and at one point when my hands were going numb I had a neurologist, but it was only carpal tunnel syndrome. When I had a fib episode the doctor in the hospital said I needed to talk to my cardiologist. My first thought was that I don’t have a cardiologist, and then I wondered if everyone was supposed to have one. Add a cardiologist and an electro cardiologist to the list, an endocrinologist for a particularly nasty root canal, and then an orthopedist for a torn meniscus. I also have a dermatologist for skin cancer. I feel as if I have an entire army taking care of me.

Conversation topics change

When you are younger you talk about the dreams you have for the future, the job you want, and your children. When you are older, you are usually comparing the latest ache or pain, what is wrong with the world, and when you can take a nap.

You need sleep but sometimes you can’t

I have nights when I fall into a deep sleep while watching television, but when I climb into bed I stare at the ceiling thinking of a million things that don’t matter.

You have experience and wisdom, but the younger generation doesn’t realize they need them.

Even before I was a member of the older generation I thought we did not do a good job using the experience and wisdom of those who have come before us. Older people often have razor-sharp mental facilities, and they are an excellent resource for information.

Here is a video of my cousins reading my book. They just lost their nana so this means a lot to me. https://www.facebook.com/781104306/videos/248500477983809/