Transitions

                                                          Transitions

Transitions are the oil can for the changes in our lives. Instead of an abrupt change, transitions allow us to ease gently into the next phase or activity. If we learn how to use them or understand their value, it can make our lives much easier.

I wanted to write about transitions this month because I have always thought September was a transitional month between summer and the colder weather to come. I am a barefoot walker, swinging on the porch, cooking out, firefly catching, lover of summer. Although the end of summer is always a little hard for me, I also love fall with the cool mornings, toasting s’mores, curling up in front of a fire pit, picking apples, and all the other fun things that fall brings. It is like a buffer to get me ready for seriously cold weather and staying inside more. Here are a few more transitions that are important to me.

When my children were younger, I learned it was important to give them ample warning before a change of activity. I called it the ten-second rule. When it was time to do something different I would say, “O.k. everyone, you have ten minutes until you have to get out of the pool.” “Ten minutes until bedtime.” “We are leaving in ten minutes.” When I started doing this I was amazed at the behavior change. Try it for yourself and watch the magic. Your children will stop fussing and whining when it is time to do something new because you have given them a chance to prepare for the change. You have given them a transition. I smiled this weekend when I heard my daughter using the ten-minute rule with her children and guess what? It still works!

If you are a teacher the same thing can work in the classroom as you switch from one activity to another. If you give your students notice that in a certain amount of time you will be doing another activity, it can alleviate some anxiety because they know what to expect ahead of time.

I recently retired from teaching after forty years in the classroom, and I am thankful that a retired neighbor warned me that I would experience a transition from working to retirement. He told me he woke up every night for two weeks after he retired wondering if he had done the right thing. His story helped me understand my feelings as the end of the school year approached. I was excited about the new adventure ahead of me, but each time I thought about leaving my students, I would start to cry. I needed time to leave behind something I was so used to doing and move on to start a new chapter. It helped to know my need for this transition was normal.

At this time of the year, many of our children are transitioning from high school to adulthood through college. College will teach them how to handle independence and to learn more life skills to prepare them for life as an adult.

Transitions can provide a time for self-reflection, a chance to overcome fear, and the possibility to learn how to deal with uncertainty. They can also sometimes cause stress and a range of emotions. The healthiest thing you can do is to express your fears and emotions about the changes in your life and ask for help when you need it.