The Difference We Can Make

                                                     

     There have been so many times when the biggest difference that I have made in someone’s life was done completely without a conscious effort. It is amazing how simple acts of kindness can completely turn someone around. An act we consider inconsequential can be huge to someone else.

     The simple gift of time can save someone’s life. My oldest sister had just gone through a divorce after thirty years of marriage. Not only had her husband left her for someone twenty years younger, he also tried to have their marriage annulled by the Catholic church because his new partner wanted him to become Catholic. My sister was devastated that not only had her husband left her, but also her church might turn its back on her. I was amazed an annulment could be considered after thirty years of marriage, but fortunately the request was denied. Shortly after all of that, my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer. I brought her lunch one day and assured her that the women in our family were strong enough to make it through anything, and she would have support when she needed it. I eventually went home and thought nothing more about that day. Five years later my sister said to me; “You know the day you brought me lunch?” I said I did and she said; “I was going to kill myself that day. I didn’t think I was strong enough to go on and you convinced me that I was.” I had no idea the simple conversation I had with my sister could have had such an impact, but I am very glad I took the time to go visit her.

     You can also affect your children with the gift of time. You don’t have to buy them fancy gadgets and toys. What they really want and need is you. Lift them up by telling them how much you enjoy spending time with them. Watch a movie together, read together, find an activity that you both love. Slow down long enough to see how special your family is.

     How many people would benefit from the simple interaction of someone who wants to listen to their story? How we listen affects people too. We are all so busy and everyone is trying to multitask and we do not really focus fully on people who are speaking to us. Turn towards the person who wants your attention. Stop doing everything else and listen.

     You never know what someone is struggling with and sometimes a little kindness can go a long way. Recently, we were at a race and winners were being announced. A girl in front of us won in her age group and when her name was called I yelled “Whoohoo, Jody!! You go girl!” She thanked me and told me it meant a lot to her when I cheered for her because her whole family was in Colombia and she was homesick. We took pictures for her so she could send them home. Once again, it was such a simple act that meant so much to someone else.

     As a teacher, it is my job to encourage my students, but I have to tell you that the students who have thanked me and told me I changed their lives were almost always those students for whom I never felt I had done anything out of the ordinary. I once wrote a note in a journal of a girl who worked so hard all of the time. I told her I appreciated her amazing work ethic. At the end of the year, I was coming back to the dorm from graduation and I met her coming down the stairs. She had left her friends and family and had come to wait for me to tell me she appreciated all I had done for her. All I could think was that I hadn’t done anything special for her.

     You never know when you will have a chance to lift someone up. I once went into have a massage and the woman and I were making casual conversation when she revealed to me that she was in an abusive relationship. I spoke with her about it and at the end of the session she said “I think you were sent here today for me.” In my mind all I had done was express what I knew was common sense.

     Imagine if only by smiling you could turn someone’s day around. Holding the door for someone or asking how they are doing are all so easy to do and you could be making a difference for someone. It is so easy to be caught up in ourselves, but the best way to feel good about ourselves is to help someone else.

     We have a chance every day; we can live in our own little world, never talk to strangers, let other people take care of problems, or we can step out of our comfort zone and do our best to lift up as many people as we can. As for me, I’m ready to do some heavy lifting if it will make a difference.