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So you want to be a writer? 5 Tips to start.

So you want to be a writer? 5 steps to make it happen.

I have published 9 books, and I sell them at our local craft market. I love interacting with all the people who stop by, and there is always at least one person who asks me about how to be a writer. Here are the 5 basic steps that I tell them.

Every book or article needs a why. Your why is your goal and your motivation. Your why will keep you writing when you start to question your ability to write, and whether the time you are devoting to the task is wasted effort.

I have four children’s books. I wrote them to be a legacy for my grandson, Parker. I want him to look back on the books and realize how loved he was. My husband loves it because not many children can say they have four children’s books about them when they present at show and tell.

My why for my self-help books was because of all the need and hurt I see around me. I wanted to write something that offered comfort and encouragement.

What is your plan? Your plan is your how. How will you take your ideas and put them on paper? There isn’t a right or wrong way to do this. My dad used to have a recorder in his car, and he would record any thoughts he had when he wasn’t where he could write them down. I usually use a whiteboard to write down my ideas and a loose outline.

Research what you need to know about different genres. I had no idea how to write a children’s book, so I asked my publisher questions, and he guided me through the first one.

Who will publish your writing? There are several different ways to publish. A traditional publisher will help guide you through edits and will publish the book. Some traditional publishers will pay you while others only give you royalties from what you sell. Others are print on demand. Be careful of vanity publishers. These are publishers who ask for payment to publish. Self-publishing is another option, and one spot to do that is through Amazon’s KDP program.

What is your marketing plan? After you publish your book, you have to encourage people to buy it. You can use social media and sell at local craft markets.

Stay mental. This is probably the most important part because if you do not believe in your writing, you will not finish anything. Just do it!

I hope these ideas help you to begin your journey as a writer. If writing is something you are passionate about, you should do it.

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How to make your day great

How to Make Your Day Great

I was reminded that having a great day is not a passive activity when my watch sent me a message that said, “Make it a great day.”

Whenever my students entered my classroom in a bad mood, I would tell them it was up to them to change the course of the day, but how can you do that? Here are a few ideas.

  • Delay leaving bed. Instead of jumping out of bed, give yourself a few minutes to wake up. Think about what you will do today, send positive thoughts and prayers, and start easing into the day.
  • Prepare for your day the night before. Your morning will be less stressful if you have everything ready. The less you have to do in the morning, the calmer your morning will be.
  • Let some things go. Don’t allow anyone or anything to steal your peace. Before you allow drama to affect you, ask yourself why it matters. If it doesn’t, then don’t allow it to affect you.
  • Do at least one act of kindness. Doing something nice for someone can start a domino effect, and you will feel good doing it.
  • Know how to pivot. Being flexible instead of reacting to setbacks will make your day much better.
  • Be a model for others. You have no idea how much you can help someone by the way you act.

You have the power to control your day. Choose to have a good one!

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Fall Newsletter

Fall is a great time for reading

Fall is a perfect time to curl up on the couch under a blanket with your favorite books. I have written a few that I would like to suggest to you.

I just published a romance called A Hidden Treasure. It takes place in Regency England, where Emily Randal must deal with the challenges that many women of her time also face. She is expected to marry, but she finds her choices to be lacking, until her childhood friend, Rylan, steps back into her life. She could lose her family’s home to her nefarious cousin, and before that happens, she wants to find the famous treasure her great-grandmother hid as she tried to protect her family and home.

I have another new release called Help for the Hard Days. This is a series of essays to encourage you on those difficult days.

My fourth children’s book will be released very shortly. It is called Parker and the Boys Next Door, The Importance of Friendship.

These books and all the rest of the books I have written can be purchased on Amazon.

Amazon   https://www.amazon.com/s?k=jennifer+Bonn&crid=3RD3AEMG6E2SX&sprefix=jennifer+bonn%2Caps%2C131&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

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Ultra-Marathon advice that saves me

The ultra-marathon advice that saved me

I learned how to navigate the ultra-marathon world by making every possible mistake but learning from each one. Finally, I decided to add the expertise of an ultra-expert to the lessons I have learned, so I asked my friend to share everything he knows about ultras. The result was three pages of notes, and the feeling that I was finally prepared to take on this beast, which is unlike any other race. Here are a few pieces of advice that have saved me more than once.

You can do almost anything one more time. Instead of looking at the total mileage ahead, take it one mile at a time. I mostly do loop ultras, so I tell myself to do one more loop, and then I can see how I feel; then I continue to do that.

You have to know how to fuel the machine. Experiment with various foods and drinks to determine what works best for you. I cannot drink the typical electrolytes offered at races because they are too strong for my stomach, so I had to find something gentler. I alternate between drinking that and water. I eat half of a peanut butter sandwich before the race starts, and I eat something every hour to continue replacing the calories I am burning. When I reach higher mileage, I often feel slightly nauseous. When that happens, I eat 5 ginger cookies, and that calms my stomach. My two worst experiences were related to my stomach. The first incident occurred because I didn’t take in any electrolytes, and the second was due to my stopping eating. Neither was a good decision.

Use mental techniques to keep going. When you hit the wall and the negative voices start to overtake your mind, have some ways to get motivated again. It could be as simple as telling yourself, ‘If you can do one more lap, you can take a break and eat a bag of Fritos.’ Another idea is to make yourself run to a certain point and keep changing the spot.

Taking short rest breaks can help you become stronger. When I first started running ultras, I wanted to attack it. I didn’t want to stop to rest because I wanted to get the best mileage I could. I felt that resting would be wasted energy. I didn’t realize how much rest could improve my performance.

Run your own race. Don’t compare yourself to other runners. Focus on doing your best, and do what works for you.

Realize that an ultra is a different race. Very few of the rules that work for shorter races will work for an ultra. Be a good observer as you watch what the veteran runners do and listen well as you ask questions of the other runners.

Pickle juice is your friend. I was skeptical when a friend told me pickle juice could keep me from being too sore, but it actually works! I take small sips throughout the race, or I eat the actual pickles.

Be ready for anything. Most ultra runners look like they have enough gear to camp for a week, but it’s because they know they have to be ready for anything. If the race is on trail, I’m bound to fall, so a good med kit is necessary for me. I have been at races where it was pouring one minute and then scorching hot the next.

I hope this advice helps you at your next race!

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Keep Your Weapons Sharp

Do you ever feel like life is a war where you are only doing your best to survive? Those are the days when you need to know what your weapons are, and what is the best way to use them.

I’m not talking about guns and swords, or other methods of violence. I’m talking about words and actions you can use to protect your peace, motivate yourself, and find happiness. Here are a few ideas that work for me.

Remember, you have more power than you think in your interactions. You might not be able to choose what happens to you or some of the situations you encounter, but you always have the choice on how to respond.

There are certain personality types where someone loves to argue, so you will walk away from these arguments shaking your head and asking yourself what just happened. These people love drama, and they will take any excuse to engage in it. Your weapon in this case is to not engage. Have a set of phrases ready that give a non-committal response.  If you jump in with both feet, you will come out bloodied emotionally. Rest in the assurance that proving you are right is not worth it.

You have to draw boundaries to show people how to treat you. There should be no discussion except for a clear description of what those boundaries are. If the boundaries are not respected, it’s time to distance yourself.

You need to take time to heal. Every warrior needs to take time to regroup, rest, and recharge. You will always come back stronger if you take time to heal. Do what fills you and gives you peace. Movement of any kind has always helped me. I also find peace through reading, writing, and music.

Realize that someone’s opinion doesn’t have to be the truth. Have you ever been in a situation when someone criticizes you and you start to ask yourself if you would act that way even though the claim is outlandish? Just because someone has an opinion about you, it doesn’t mean it’s true, so carry on with your bad self.

There are so many situations that can steal our peace, so sharpen your weapons before you need them, so that when the need arises, you are prepared.

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5 Ways Your Phone Controls You

If you are a person of a certain age, you remember life before cell phones. We used landlines to call people, we used maps to navigate highways, and texting didn’t exist. We went to the theater to watch movies, and television was only viewed on a television.

When portable phones appeared, all of that changed, but it changed gradually, seeping into our lives, making things more convenient, and we saw all the benefits. Unfortunately, there is a dark side to cell phones in our lives. They have become everything to us, to the point that we cannot imagine leaving home without our phones. They have slipped into our lives, and they control us to a certain point. Here are 5 reasons why our phones control us.

Your phone knows you. Your phone is always collecting data about you. How many times have you had a conversation with someone, and after that conversation, videos and articles start to appear around what was said?

I also notice that when I browse online, whatever I was looking at suddenly pops up all over my feed.

Your phone finds out your interests and your likes and uses that knowledge to keep you interested.

It gives you what you want. I argued with my daughter, and suddenly the reels on social media were all about having issues with family members. It was as if my phone was giving me validation that I wasn’t at fault in the argument.

Because it knows so much about you, your phone provides you with the videos, music, and ads you want.

Your phone isolates you. Have you ever seen a family at a restaurant where everyone is on their phone instead of engaging in conversation? It is an escape, but it is also isolation because you are interacting with a machine instead of people.

It becomes indispensable. I was in the car on my way to an appointment when I realized I didn’t have my phone. I panicked. What would happen if I had an accident? What would I do to amuse myself while waiting for the appointment? We rely on our phones for almost everything.

It leaves you wanting more. Have you ever been watching videos and realized it’s late, but you tell yourself you will watch just one more, then one more? How long can you go without looking at your phone?

Most of us can agree that our phone controls us, but our phones have become a toxic convenience, so how do we draw healthy boundaries about how much time we spend on our phones?

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Surviving Parental Guilt While Preserving Your Peace

I was thrilled about becoming a mother, and I thought everything would be okay if I loved my children with all my heart and provided the best care possible. I wish someone had talked to me about the tangle of emotions that was about to happen and how to navigate all those feelings. I especially wish someone had explained parental guilt to me.

I have three children, and with each one, I found myself feeling guilty about everything. I felt guilty about working and dropping them off at daycare, not spending enough time with them, and falling asleep while I read a bedtime story. I felt guilty if they didn’t do well in school, and if they got into trouble, I was sure it was because of my shoddy parenting.

The feeling of guilt has followed me into my children’s adult years, but I have finally learned how to survive that guilt and preserve my peace. Here are a few things I have learned that I hope can help you.

  • Create boundaries. When your children are little, they push the boundaries to see how much control they have. Creating boundaries that define where their control ends and yours begins makes them feel safe and lets them know the chain of command. They will continue to push those boundaries into adulthood, so keep your boundaries steady and firm.
  • Don’t enable them. I wanted my children to have what they wanted, but it would have done more good if I gave them what they needed and made them work for what they wanted. Doing everything for your children or giving them their every need does not build good character. The things you have to work for are always more meaningful than what is just handed to you.
  • Shut down arguments with a few key phrases. Arguments can steal your peace, and they usually don’t end with a good resolution, so here are a few phrases to shut down an argument that is going nowhere.

I hear you

We will have to agree to disagree

That’s your opinion

Let’s have this discussion another time when we are calmer

                 Do not let your emotions match your child’s. Stay calm.

  • When they criticize you, remember it’s their opinion. When your child claims you are acting a certain way, do you jump to the defensive even though your child has no grounds for this claim? Remember it’s his opinion and not necessarily true. Use the above statement, “That’s your opinion.”
  • Demand respect. You care for and love your children. You deserve the same respect you show them. Do not tolerate lying, cursing, unkindness, or condescension.

My final suggestion is that you always let them know you love them. You might need to restate boundaries, demand an apology, but if you are doing your best and showing love, you can kick the parental guilt to the curb.

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Reasons to visit a French pharmacy

Everyone includes major monuments like the Louvre and the Eiffel Tower on their Paris itinerary. Still, if you don’t go into a pharmacy while you are there, you will miss out on an extraordinary experience. We don’t have anything like French pharmacies in the United States, but I wish we did. Let me explain what they are like by describing why you should visit them.

  • You can receive the care you would receive at a doctor’s office without paying an office fee or needing a prescription for minor ailments. Traveling can be rough because you can’t travel with all the cures you use for small issues like a sore throat, allergic reaction, cold, or bug bite. You can go into a pharmacy, consult with the pharmacist, and receive the necessary medication at a reasonable price.

Here are a few stories I have experienced at pharmacies. For about a year, I kept having allergic reactions to something, but I couldn’t figure out what was causing it. I was in France with a student group, and I took a girl who had never had a crepe to one of the best crepe stands. We both bought enormous chocolate and banana crepes and ate every bite. A few minutes later, I was walking back with my daughter to our friend’s apartment when I said to my daughter that my legs were burning. I pulled up my white pants and saw that my legs were crimson. I was having an allergic reaction to the hazelnuts in the chocolate. My friend rushed me to the pharmacy. Let me tell you that a Frenchman driving in a hurry is a scary experience! When we arrived, I showed the lady my leg and said I was reacting to nuts. She turned around, grabbed a package from the shelf, and said, “Take one of these right now!”  The reaction was gone in a day.

I often become ill after being on the plane. I am a germ magnet. On one trip with my family, I felt awful, but I was trying to soldier on. At night, I would start coughing, so I went to the pharmacy, explained my situation, and the pharmacist gave me cough drops and syrup. The syrup was like Nyquil on steroids. My husband said he shook me once to make sure I was okay, and I didn’t move. French medicine is strong.

The best story was when we entered a small pharmacy because my daughter had asked me to buy some skin care. The pharmacist was tending to a young woman who was having horrible cramps from her period. They were so bad that she was nauseous and couldn’t stand up. The pharmacist had her in the back with a hot water bottle on her stomach, and she was treating her as if it were her daughter. She even called the woman’s boss and told her she wasn’t capable of working.

  • Most pharmacists are capable of helping you with skin care, makeup, and health issues. My favorite place to receive the best advice is at Forum les Halles. Employees are circulating, asking if you need help, and they sincerely want to help. They also are not trying to push products on you. I had some moisturizer of a product I like. The woman helping me told me it wasn’t for my skin type and put it back on the shelf. During our last visit, we asked a woman about gut health, and she gave us a product that she said was amazing. I just started taking it, so I’ll let you know.
  • The prices are often half of what we pay in the States. Several years ago, a dermatologist recommended a cream to me called Cicalfate. It is a repair cream. It usually costs between $26-$28 here, but it costs $13 in France. The woman in the pharmacy said that every household needed to have that cream.
  • The staff is so caring. I always feel like my mom is fussing over me, and when I don’t feel good, some extra love helps.
  • You discover some great products.

I hope you have a chance to explore the pharmacies. Wherever you see a large green cross, that designates a pharmacy. Don’t be afraid to go in and ask questions.

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Helpful Information for Traveling to Paris

Helpful Information for a Trip to France

So many people ask me what they should know about traveling to Paris for the first time because I lived in France, taught French for 40 years, brought 20 student trips to France, and go at least once a year myself. I still learn something new every time I go, but I have some information that will make your trip go smoothly.

My first response to someone asking what they need to know before they go is to say there are too many things to tell someone in only a few minutes, but there are some very important things to know, so I decided to put as much of that information as I could in an article.

My first piece of advice would be to continue to check the price of your flight from the time you book it until your departure. If the price goes lower than what you paid, you have the right to a credit, but you have to ask for it. Call the airline, and they will take care of it. The costs of tickets fluctuate a lot.

When you pack, include a cloth tote you can use for shopping. You usually have to pay extra for a bag at stores, and some stores don’t have them at all. They are also great for all the open-air markets you can find in Paris.

Pack a water bottle because there are water fountains everywhere.

The weather is changeable, so dress in layers and dress comfortably. There are cobblestones, so wear comfortable shoes.

Before you leave, order euros from your bank. It is an inexpensive way to procure your money, and even though you might think you will only need a credit card, there are times you might need cash. Mine always comes within two days.

I reserve a taxi service for both ways. The one I use is Airport Taxi Transfers. A driver contacts you on WhatsApp and tells you where to meet. We have used them for four trips, and the experience was great each time.  

Bring a small pouch or change purse for change and always have some with you because public bathrooms cost a euro, and ones in cafés and attractions also sometimes suggest a tip.

Go to large tourist attractions early. Notre Dame is attracting even more tourists than normal after the renovation. It opens at 7:45. We arrived at 8:15, and the line was short, but within an hour it was very crowded.

In many restaurants, you have to pay at the counter. This way, you can pay when you are ready or enjoy some people watching. You will never be rushed. Food is meant to be savored.

When you first arrive, you may be tired and want to nap, but keep moving and don’t go to bed until your usual time. That will help you adjust to the time difference. France is 6 hours ahead of the U.S.

Be prepared that most hotel rooms are small and the shower often is uncovered.

Accept that there will be differences, but explore those differences and respect them when you can.

Don’t rush through your trip. Be an observer and realize you are in a country full of history, beautiful architecture, art, music, and literature. The Luxembourg Gardens are a good example. There is history around every corner. Each statue depicts someone from history or literature. Inside the garden, you will find a beehive, a vineyard, a playground, a sandcastle building pit, pony rides, and a pond where children can sail boats.

To the left of the garden, there is a long strip of grass that is dedicated to lounging and picnicking. One side is open each day while the other side is closed to give the grass a chance to recover.

There are free bathrooms in the front and the back, but you will have to pay at the one in the middle near the tennis and bocce courts. Stroll through and observe everything, or sit and take in the beauty. My husband loved seeing chairs grouped together. He commented that we need to spend time sitting in a park, talking with each other.

Bathrooms in France could be a separate article. Most bathrooms in restaurants are downstairs. Bring some change with you in case a tip is expected. I always told my students to use a bathroom when they saw one because they don’t seem as numerous as they do in the U.S.

Even if you don’t speak French, kindness is a universal language. I hope these tips help.

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5 Ways to Improve Your Mood

Have you ever had a day when you woke up angry, hating the whole world, and you are annoyed at everything?  Some days you might be in a fine mood, but your day starts off badly, or you have an unpleasant interaction with someone and that sets the tone for the day.

 Even the most positive person has these days, but they aren’t pleasant for the person having them, or the people who are around the negativity.  I always know when my husband is having one because he contradicts everything I say. I could say, “The sky is such a pretty blue.” He will answer, “It’s not really that blue, it’s grayer.” Instead of needing to feel that I am right, I see the humor and realize he is only having one of those days.

Being in a bad mood is never a good feeling, but you always have the power to change that negative energy to positive. Here are a few ideas to help you improve your mood.

Find the funny. I find it difficult to stay in a bad mood when I start laughing. Watch funny videos online, or a movie that makes you laugh. Spend time with that person who makes you laugh so hard that your stomach hurts. Watching the antics of animals and small children can bring a smile to your face.

Retreat and recharge. Do you ever feel like you need some time away from everyone and everything? Making a mini escape is a healthy way of preserving your mental health. It is easy to be overwhelmed, and taking some time to be quiet and have time to yourself can help you come back stronger.

Rest. I know this is probably easier said than done, but fatigue can wreck your mood, and when you are feeling down a quick nap, or watching a movie on the couch, or curling up and reading can feel like heaven.

Eat your favorite food. Food is good medicine and one of life’s greatest pleasures. Cooking is also a great way to reclaim your peace. Put together your favorite meal and watch your bad mood slip away.

Go outside and move. Being outside and moving are both ways to heal your mood. It doesn’t matter what form of movement you choose. It could be running, walking, biking, playing with children, swimming, gardening, or any other activity. I love to run and that is what I do anytime my emotions swamp me.

Always remember you have the power to change your mood, you only need to discover which tools work best for you.