Jennifer’s writing

The best way to describe the past few years is unexpected, uncertain, and crazy. Our lives have been changed in almost every way, and as always, we have a choice on how to react to the chaos. We can be angry when we go out to eat and have to wait, we can panic when the store shelves have missing items, and we can criticize our teachers and administrators, but that probably will only make the situation worse. What if instead, we give grace as often as possible and throw in some kindness. This is a time to remember that you were raised to be polite and understand others.

My husband listened to me today as I made appointments for the dermatologist for him and my daughter. The woman who was helping me was on the struggle bus and nothing was working for her, so it was taking forever to process new patient information. Not only did I cheerfully continue to repeat what I had just said, but I told her several times that I appreciated her efforts. Have you ever noticed how surprised someone seems when you compliment them? That tells me it doesn’t happen very often. Don’t be that person who takes out your frustration on someone who is doing the best to perform a task. At the end of the call, she gave my daughter an emergency spot for the next day because she is suffering from severe eczema. My husband told me that people are extra-kind to me. I believe that the actions you put out come back to you, so if someone is kind to me, it’s because I am trying to treat them well.

Everyone is struggling right now, and more than ever it’s a time when kindness is needed. Do your best to do acts of kindness. Do you know someone who has COVID? What if you left a meal at the person’s door? Is someone you know struggling financially? Are you in a position to help? Even bringing some groceries could help. Brainstorm some acts of kindness and you will be amazed at how much fun it is to spread kindness.

Show some grace, try to understand that things are not normal and do something to help instead of making the issues worse.

The way you start your day can create your mood and influence the rest of the day. Choose to start it off in a way that will make you happy, relaxed, and ready to take on what life is going to throw at you.

You can choose what will work best for you and what fills you up the most. I have a friend who gets up at four to read something inspirational and reflect on what the day will bring. I enjoy sleeping in but I need to leave enough time to have a cup of coffee on the deck while I enjoy being outside. Someone else might enjoy cooking and sharing breakfast with the family. The important thing is to find something that will get you started in the right frame of mind.

The way you end the day can influence how you start the day. Before you go to bed, pick your clothes, decide on meals and snacks, and do any other prep for the next day. This will free up time in the morning so you will feel less stressed. If you have a family, setting out what they need the night before will make everything easier.

Work on your attitude about the day. You have the power to choose how you will approach the day. Even if the day does not go smoothly, you can make a difference by staying positive and if possible, finding humor. Find something that you are looking forward to during the day.  

Adjust your attitude.

Complaining about everything will drain the energy and joy out of you and everyone around you. Start to see the positive in situations and see how your mood will shift. Send out positive vibes and they will come back to you. Work on positive, mental strength. Construct positive thoughts about what will happen in your life. Things might not always go smoothly, but you can choose the attitude you use to deal with it. I always tell my children that a good or bad day is their choice. When I first started telling my family that positive thoughts have power, they thought I was crazy. We would pull into a crowded restaurant parking lot, and they would say, “Oh man, it’s going to be a long wait.” I would say, “Oh, no, we are going to get right in.” The first few times they laughed at me until it worked every time, now, they try to beat me to the positive thought.

Throw out the trash in your life.

What is holding you back? Are you making excuses instead of taking action? Is fear paralyzing you? What are your relationships like? Remove the toxic elements and bring in those things that are going to fill you up and make you better. Take inventory of what needs to go and what you would like to have more of.

Create strong communities for yourself.

Good friends are hard to find, so when you do, work hard to keep them. Work on building good relationships. Identify your communities. They could be people from work, church, friends, family, or members of other groups. Quality not quantity is what costs. Make an effort to strengthen the relationships that matter.

Spread love and kindness and it will come back.

I truly believe that what you send out comes back to you. We need love and kindness right now so actively look for moments when you can do acts of kindness. It’s easier than you think, and it is contagious because it feels so good to do. My daughter and I were at McDonald’s for breakfast. I had just paid when I noticed the couple behind me were having trouble finding the money to pay. I leaned over and swiped my debit card for their meal. They said, “Thank You.” As I was sitting with my daughter, the man came over and said that his wife had been sick and today was her first day out in a while. He handed me three blessing stones that he gives people when he talks to them about Jesus. My daughter and I carry them wherever we go.

Believe anything is possible.

I have a sign in my office that says, “Always believe a great adventure is right around the corner.” We are sometimes our biggest critics and the greatest impediment to our success. Let’s have more of a why not mentality and at least give things a try. We should do our best to make it to the end of our life without being able to say, “I wish I had done this or that.” Believe you can and then prove you are right.

I discovered years ago that running is much more than exercise for me. It has been a factor in both my physical and mental health, but I would go beyond that and tell you that running has saved my life for multiple reasons.

Weight management

This is of course the reason many people run. When I was in college, I suddenly realized that I could no longer eat anything I wanted and not gain extra weight. I started running because I love good food, but I wanted to be able to stay at a reasonable weight. While running helped me in this aspect, it also opened up the other possibilities that running can offer.

 Self-esteem

For most of my life, I have struggled with feeling that I’m not good enough, that I’m somehow less than I should be. I discovered I was good at running. I could set goals and find ways to become better. No one criticized how I was doing it because there are so many ways to achieve the goals. It gave me confidence that I lacked.

Quiet time

As a teacher and a mother, I am surrounded by noise all the time. Running gives me the quiet time I need to recharge. When I’m running I can work out problems and be creative, or I can let my mind rest while I enjoy the beauty around me.

Therapy

There are two aspects of running that provide the biggest health benefits. This is one of them because whenever my world was crashing down around me, I could go for a long run and run off whatever emotion was holding me back. I have never turned to substances for relief, it has always been running that helps me through difficult periods. My son started having seizures when he was two days old and had to have a brain operation to repair a bleeding blood vessel. Five days after he was born, I needed a long run because of the stress and also because although my son came out of the operation with very few side effects, many people thought he was retarded.

Physical

Running has kept me in excellent health throughout the years. At sixty-three, I am not on any medications which always perplexes the urgent care providers. Once when I had to go to urgent care because I had burst stitches on my arm with the last punch in Karate class, the nurse told me that the blood pressure machine must not be working and said the same thing when she took my pulse because both were so low. Running allows me to keep pushing my limits and becoming stronger.

Social

I go to races to push myself and I discovered quickly that they are social events. I have met some of my best friends through running. It has become a very important community to me.

I could probably find a few more reasons, but I hope this proves to you that running is much more to me than a mere exercise.

Positivity attracts people

Being around someone positive is like being recharged. The positive person is energizing while someone negative is an energy drainer. People are attracted and uplifted by a positive attitude, and will naturally gravitate towards someone who is more upbeat.

A Positive person is more open to change

A positive person can see the benefits of change instead of being afraid of them. He can believe that good things will come from something new.

You see the possibilities

Someone who sees possibilities instead of challenges is more likely to try something. If we have the attitude of “Well, let’s try it and see what happens.” We will experience so much more. When I was teaching, I also ran the French club. We needed some activities for National French Week, so I said to the students, “We are going to prepare a free French breakfast for the high school.” I will never forget the looks on their faces as they said, “The whole high school?” French students brought in food and served the students. They commented later that they felt so special because they were responsible for feeding students who were so grateful for the food.

A better attitude makes you happier

When you choose to see joy in situations it makes you feel better. I love it when someone can take a bad situation and find that one positive.

Positivity makes you healthier

When you are happier, you are more relaxed and less stressed. Stress can cause havoc with your health, so anything that can eliminate stress will make you healthier.

You are perceived as more balanced

One of the reasons that people are attracted to a positive person is because there is less drama surrounding that person. Positive people tend to be calmer and grounded.

You can lift the spirits of others

Positive people can pull the good out of any situation and they are gifted at helping others believe in their reasoning.

You are contagious

It is hard to stay negative when you are bombarded by positivity.

My husband and I are fire and water. He likes heavy metal, I like country. He likes constant noise(we have a television in each room), and I need quiet sometimes to recharge. He’s a golfer, I’m a runner. I will read anything and everything while he doesn’t get past the sports page. We are even members of different political parties. I think you get the idea that we are very different, but we are madly in love with each other despite these differences.

I don’t think being opposites necessarily means conflict because opposites can complement each other. One person’s strength’s can support the other person’s weaknesses. I am not always comfortable in a large gathering when I don’t know people, but my husband loves meeting new people, and he is amazing at making conversation with anyone. I am in charge of parenting when mind games or creative discipline is needed. I love it when something I try has the desired effect on our children and my husband gives me that astonished look and says, “How do you do that?” Here are some ideas I think will help if you are attracted to your opposite.

Know each other and accept the differences. My husband likes to feel as if he is in control. He is also a perfectionist. I do not need to be in control and I am very easygoing and flexible about how things are done. Although these tendencies are very different, we know that neither of us is going to change, so we make allowances for each other and understand what each other needs. When we go to the grocery store, I let him put the items in the cart in just the right spot even though when I am by myself I throw things in here and there.

Choose your battles. There will be arguments but choose the situations where it is important to take a stand. Not everything is a capital offense.

Show respect. Don’t tear someone down because they are different from you. Embrace those differences, validate them, and realize that those differences will make life much more interesting.

Remove emotion when discussing. When you have different thought patterns and different likes and dislikes, discussions can be emotionally charged. Choose to remove the emotion and discuss and question to understand.

Communicate. Tell each other what you are feeling, what you need, and how to resolve situations.

See the humor. If you can see the humor in life, you have won the battle. Laugh together and diffuse any tension.

Don’t be discouraged if someone you care about is radically different from you. It’s all about finding the right way to navigate the relationship and support each other’s unique qualities.

The COVID experience has been a perfect example of how making choices can have a huge impact on our lives. The pandemic has brought out the best and the worst in people through the choices they have made. This situation is a reflection of what can happen anytime in our lives when we decide how we will act. Here are some of the choices that make a difference in how we live.

Reacting to a negative situation

When we are faced with negativity, we have a choice to respond with the same energy or we can be a better person and respond with kindness. Most of the time when we rise up instead of sinking down, the result has a very positive outcome. When you refuse to fuel negativity with hot emotion, it usually fizzles out. The next time you are faced with someone who is irate or complaining about everything, stay calm and ask a question about the situation. Refuse to engage in a battle of emotions. In France, it is considered polite to greet the clerk as soon as you enter an establishment. My sister, myself, and two of my children had just entered a store when my daughter Jess, who was eight then, ran up to the man and said “Bonjour Monsieur!” I was thinking about how proud I was of her when he began to berate me for not greeting him. (He was very angry.) I calmly explained that I was waiting until I was a little closer to him. He calmed down and said, “Well, la Princesse knew how to act and you taught her to do that so I apologize.” We had a great talk after that and every year that I returned, Jess and I would walk into the store and he would exclaim in French, “The Princess has arrived!!” If I had matched his emotions that would not have happened and yes, his reaction was extreme, but he may have dealt with something that day that brought out that level of emotion.

Understanding vs. judging

It is so easy to jump to judgment when someone acts a certain way or says something that seems odd to us. I struggle with judging people and I am working on understanding instead of thinking someone is choosing or acting badly. Look behind actions to see what is causing them. People act a certain way for a reason and just because it isn’t what you would choose doesn’t mean it isn’t what someone else might need.

My daughter Kait suffers from anxiety. Social interactions are difficult for her because she is always afraid that she will say or do something wrong. During her first year of college, I wanted to talk to her about how much time she spends in bed because I thought it might be a sign of depression. She explained to me that having to interact at school exhausted her. I had to understand how she functions and not judge her because of what works for me.

Speaking out vs silence

When we see injustice we have a choice to speak out against it or remain silent. Although remaining silent might seem easier, it can exact a toll mentally when we feel that we are propagating the problem instead of helping to resolve it. How can you speak out safely? That will depend on your situation, but find a way to have your voice heard.

There are also those moments when silence is golden. Although you may want to express your opinion and judgment on others’ personal choices, determine whether your voice will be a contribution or a detriment. 

Make plans, not excuses

I know many people who are not comfortable with who they are. They want to be smarter, taller, thinner, more athletic, but when solutions are offered, these people have many excuses about why they cannot achieve their goals. They are allowing excuses to keep them from living a happier life. If they could move beyond the excuses and take the first step, they could start making a plan.

Forgive or be bitter

At some point in your life, someone will treat you badly, leaving you with all sorts of negative emotions. It is natural to reflect on what happened and find ways to heal, but if we stay fixated on the problem, it will hang over us and keep us from becoming stronger emotionally. Letting go of negative emotions is liberating. Once you can move beyond an interaction, those feelings will no longer hold you prisoner.

Choose negativity or joy

You are the only one who can allow yourself to be stressed. There are a lot of things that can go wrong in your life but you hold complete power over how you choose to react to them. You can be the calm in the eye of the storm or you can be the wild tornado of emotion and frustration. It is not hard to imagine which choice will make things work out better.

When we use our GPS in our cars, the GPS reroutes us when something goes wrong on our trip. Why can’t we do the same thing when what we are doing doesn’t go according to plan? When you have planned to do something a certain way and there is a kink in the plan, instead of feeling frustrated, think about how it can be done another way.

It is very easy to complain and only see the burdens in our lives but even our burdens can be blessings in disguise if we have the right perspective. Life is too glorious to not live it with joy and gratitude. Make the choices that will improve both you and your life.

You will never see me wearing headphones when I run. I want to hear the conversations that tell me so many of the stories of the runners around me. I almost always meet someone new at races who wants to tell me his or her story. At every race I find myself thinking that I wish more people knew running is about so much more than putting one foot in front of the other. Here is what I see and hear at every race.

Courage

It takes courage if you are struggling with fitness to show up to an event where there are going to be people who make fitness a priority. Many people will never do a race because they are too afraid of failure, so when I see people who have conquered that fear and are taking a step towards a  healthier lifestyle, I think they are courageous.

Struggles

I have heard so many extreme stories of health struggles (both physical and mental) that I accept that at least some of the people at every race are using running to cope.

Inspiration

I don’t have much patience for people who say they cannot exercise after some of the overcomers  I have seen. A good example would be a recent race where a group of veterans were racing. As we ran by a woman in a wheelchair, one of them yelled, “c’mon let’s go!” and the woman replied, “I’m coming as soon as I can get my leg on.” No excuses, just doing what she knew was good for her.

Gratitude

I see people who are grateful that they are able to run. They have survived their own struggles or know how important running is to them.

Hope

Running offers the chance to be better, and stronger. It is a way to defeat any demons holding us back.

Support

Runners support each other whether we know you or you are a stranger. We will cheer harder every time for the last runner than we do for the first across the line. As long as you have shown up at the line, you deserve to be there.

Life has a way of throwing us curve balls every once in a while and our routines, plans, and goals can be thrown into disarray. Once we have things under control again, we have a choice of whether to get back on track or make excuses about why it is too difficult to regroup and move forward. This happened to me with my running. I had been training for my first ultra-marathon for several months. I had logged an insane amount of mileage, read books about the best way to run an ultra, and done my best to eat a healthy diet. I was ready. Unfortunately, that is when life threw me the curveball. I received a phone call from my niece telling me that my sister Patricia had been taken to the hospital and the doctors were not sure if she would make it through the night. I live in Georgia, and my family lives in Connecticut so my husband, oldest daughter, and I caught the next flight out and went straight to the hospital. My sister began a very slow recovery which required us to make one more trip to Connecticut before my race.

Although I am so glad that I was able to see my sister and be there with her, It was difficult to train amidst all the chaos. When the race was a week away, I was wondering if I had trained enough to do it. That’s when I received a blessing in the form of an article about a woman runner who said that if something interferes with your training, do the race anyway. She said to run the race at a slower pace and said you would be able to go farther without a problem. I decided to do the race and I did fine. It taught me that instead of giving up or making excuses, I should stay strong and find an alternative way to accomplish my objective. I think that is true in most areas of our lives. Here are some ideas for you to stay strong too.

Refuse to make excuses. Excuses are the fear of failure. If you try to accomplish something and you fail, figure out another way to do it. Believe you will eventually succeed and remember that nothing that comes easily is as valued as what we have to work hard to achieve.

Regroup after the storm. Sometimes you have to make new goals and it can be discouraging to feel as if you have taken a step backward, but tell yourself that you will achieve even more as you become stronger. You are not defeated until you stop rising back up.

Give yourself grace. We all want the golden ticket immediately but you have to take baby steps sometimes and there will be days when you slip a little in your goals, but you have to keep reminding yourself that you will prevail. I have a friend who has been struggling with her weight for years. She is on a meal plan now that works for her and I love to see her determination to keep going even though she knows the weight loss will not happen overnight.  

Have the right perspective. If you are recovering from an injury and cannot perform an activity as well as you used to, realize that at least you are still doing it and many people will admire you for making an effort. We are often so much harder on ourselves while others have much lower expectations.

Don’t be discouraged. If you have worked hard to achieve something whether it is your fitness level, proficiency at something or anything else that has required time and effort, and you suddenly suffer a setback, you have to adjust your mindset. Instead of thinking that you have lost what you have worked for or cannot regain your satisfaction at some level, tell yourself that you will return back to where you were before and you are going to realize that although it may take time, you will make it. A defeatist attitude will defeat you while believing in the possibilities will propel you forward.

Ask for help. Asking for help is a sign of intelligence, not a sign of weakness. There are people who have strengths that can help us eliminate our weaknesses. Ask questions of people who are good at what you would like to do. Research what you need to know. Be an active participant in your recovery.

Life is a roller coaster ride. If it was always easy, we wouldn’t become stronger and learn from successes and failures. It isn’t what happens to you that counts, it’s how you react to it and the plan you devise to make it better. Stay strong and keep moving forward.

     Parents want the best for their children, and we try to give them a good education, help to build strong character, and offer them the best opportunities. If we add giving them a global perspective, we can increase the possibilities for outstanding opportunities.

     Our children should be aware of what is going on beyond our country’s borders. We need to give them a world view by teaching them world history, and culture, and how to communicate in another language. We have to find a way to spark an interest in the world around them by making what we are teaching them not just something that they will read in a book and then forget. In a society where our children are glued to a screen most of the time, piquing their interest in becoming a global citizen might seem like a daunting task, but there are some very easy things that parents can do to make it happen.

     Here are some ways to provide a global view for your children.

 pen pals from another country

Students at Mount Paran Christian School receive their letters.

www.epals.com is a great site to find a correspondent from many different countries. My French classes wrote to students from two different schools in France, and we skyped with a class from another French school. The correspondence allows the students to learn the culture and language from people their own age who are actually from the country being studied. It brings the study of the language and culture to life. Many of the students have begun following each other on social media. This is a way to start a connection and open communication that could potentially last a lifetime.

Host a student  

There are many local and national organizations and sometimes schools that are looking for a place to stay for an international student. There is usually a small stipend to pay for room and board, but the connections that can be made are priceless. Some organizations that place international students are;

https://www.iseusa.org/        International student exchange

https://exchanges.state.gov/us/schools        Bureau of educational and cultural affairs

https://asse.com/

https://www.isepstudyabroad.org/

Mission trips

     Mission trips allow children and adults to experience another culture and try another language, all while serving others. Many local schools offer trips within both the United States and internationally. Churches always have trips going out throughout the year. Participating in a trip like this can show our children how blessed we are at home and how much need there is in the world. It is both a learning experience and a character builder.

Trips

If your budget will allow it, there is no substitute for traveling as a way to learn about other cultures firsthand. There is a variety of tour options through companies like EF tours or Passport tours, or your local travel agent, or through your local school or church. If you do not speak the language of the country where you are going, it is nice to have a guide that does, so sometimes a guided tour is the way to go. You will make unforgettable memories for your family.

Cultural community events

     Local schools and communities offer international fairs and festivals that are often very inexpensive to attend and offer a glimpse into another culture with changes to interact with activities and sample cultural cuisine.

     Our local school recently held an international fair where parents with international connections were invited to come to host a booth representing their country of origin. The cafeteria was filled with wonderful aromas and beautiful music, while students traveled from booth to booth learning about different countries and having their passports stamped. It was a learning opportunity for the students as well as a chance for the parents to share their heritage.

Language Apps and websites to learn languages

     There are many free apps and websites to help you learn another language. One of the most popular is called Duolingo. https://www.duolingo.com/    Duolingo is a lot like Rosetta Stone but it is free and just as fun to use.

Here are some other free sites to use;

www.babbel.com

http://www.livinglanguage.com/products/additional/ 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/languages/

https://www.memrise.com/