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Bluey’s Life Lessons

I babysit my grandson two days a week, and he loves to watch a show called Bluey. At first glance, Bluey is a cartoon about a dog family, but in reality, it is much more.

Each episode has an important message not only for children but also for adults. The messages are related to the emotions that correspond with the messages, and there is also a healthy dose of humor.

I knew this was a special show when I found myself quoting the messages to people, and my 21-year-old daughter taped the series. Last night, the news was even more gruesome than usual, so we turned it off and turned on Bluey.

Not only are there great messages, but it is also relatable for parents as they chronicle the struggles of parents trying to care for their children. Parents can see issues that they have also dealt with, and they can realize they are not the only ones dealing with these situations. Having said that, you also should know that very few parents are as good as Bluey’s parents. We can only do our best to be somewhat like them.

Here are a few of the messages or episodes I love the most.

· If you don’t want someone to touch your things, know when to put them away. Bluey’s friend complains about a friend who breaks her toys, and Bluey says, “When my cousins come to play, I put the good toys away.” My grandson broke a bracelet of mine and I found myself quoting Bluey and saying I should have put it away.

· Parent’s rules are for your good. The episode called Tina is when Bluey and Bingo are tired of being told what to do, so they enlist the help of their invisible friend Tina. The parents win the day by showing what happens to Tina when she doesn’t practice self-care.

· Enjoy the moments. This is my personal favorite. Except for the beginning, the only sound is the rain. It is so peaceful. Bluey is trying to dam up the rain in the driveway. He runs in and out of the house, tracking in mud, while his mom tries to stop him, but then she decides to join him and enjoy the beautiful moment with him.

· Your failures and weaknesses can be teachable moments for your children. There is an episode called Fairytale, Bluey’s dad tells a story about growing up in the 80s when he was mean to his brother. In another episode called Omelet, Bingo’s mom allows Bingo to continually fail at making an omelet instead of taking over and doing it for her. She eventually succeeds and has a great sense of accomplishment.

· Distraction is a great parental tool. I think every parent can hear their child when Bingo complains about being tired of walking on the way to the park. “How much longer?” The parents keep finding ways to take her mind off of walking.

· Onesies has multiple messages including accepting that you can’t have everything you want, the importance of family, infertility, and the power of imagination. Bluey’s mom’s sister comes to visit after four years away. She brings the girls animal onesies. Bluey wants Bingo’s costume, but it doesn’t fit, and Bingo becomes the tiger of his onesie and starts attacking everyone. You need to watch this one because a lot is going on.

· Winning by cheating isn’t winning. Bluey’s mom designs an obstacle course, but the competitive spirit causes some issues.

· Believing in yourself. Bluey’s friend’s dad has lost power for his GPS, and he doesn’t remember how to get to his son’s school. He stops for directions, and he is given two choices, the safe but extremely long way, or the rugged, off-road, short way. The dad is also told he doesn’t look like the type who could handle the tougher road, so the dad decides to prove he can do it.

· Sometimes you just need 20 minutes. This episode is called Sheepdog, and the dad attempts to entertain the children while the mom rests. When Bingo asks why she needs time alone, the mom says, “Sometimes, I just need 20 minutes.” We find out later that sometimes the children need the same thing.

I hope you have a chance to watch some of these. We have enjoyed them as a family.

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Mentoring 101

Everyone needs a mentor at some point in their life. A mentor is someone who has the knowledge that you need to improve and succeed.

A mentor could be someone who helps you with an interest or hobby like my friend Trey who is my Ultra-marathon mentor. During my years running ultra-marathons, I have made every mistake possible, but I have learned more each time. Finally, I decided to stop learning the hard way, and I asked Trey to help me by giving me his wisdom about how to run an ultra. He shared his knowledge with me as I took four pages of notes. Not only did Trey help me by sharing his time and experience, but he also gave me more confidence about running Ultras. Before I spoke with him I admit that at each ultra race, I was asking myself what would go wrong this time.

All institutions need mentors for new employees entering the company. Each company has a unique environment with sets of rules and expectations. Mentors can guide new employees to feel comfortable enough to ask the right questions to learn how to be successful.

Here are a few things a mentor at an institution or company can do to acclimate a new employee.

Talk about the environment/expectations

What makes your company different? What are the expectations? Who do you talk to for what? Give your new person the information he needs to function well.

Discuss the importance of attitude

Talk about the power of positivity, and how negativity can cause unwanted division.

Tell them to find the marigolds

Find the people who will lift you and help you succeed.

Be available

Check in on your person regularly. Gift him with acts of kindness like bringing in a Starbucks or inviting him to lunch. Help him feel that he belongs.

Understand the egos

Not everyone will want your help. Some people will see having a mentor as an insult. These are the people who need you the most, but you may have to wait until they figure that out.

This is a quick basic list, but always ask questions of the people who can teach you more, and be ready for those who might need your help.

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Do People Really Know You?

I went to a memorial service today and listened to the family describe their deceased loved one. I started to wonder what would people say about me. Would it be accurate? Would they leave out important details and describe me through their eyes? Do they know me fully? What would you want people to know and remember about you?

I started to make a list to describe what was important to me out of fear that my family and friends might not truly know me, because there are certain things I haven’t shared, or they have not asked about. At first, I thought this was a selfish thing to do, but if we leave nothing else behind we should leave memories of our identities, and making our list is a way to reflect and also leave something concrete behind.

Here is a list of things that matter to me, or that define me.

· Staying positive. I do my best to stay positive because I believe in the power of positive energy. My best friend tells me that it annoys him that I can always show that power.

· Rainy days. While many people see gloom on a rainy day, I see beauty and peace. My favorite runs are during summer with a light mist falling. I love to fall asleep during a rainstorm.

· Faith. I am a believer and I know the power of prayer. I believe in Father Anthony’s prayer since he helps me find things all the time. I have a strong patron saint in St. Thèrese who shows up in my life all the time.

· Love. Love is the answer in so many cases. Each day, I start out by praying that I can lift people up and not tear them down.

· Self-esteem. I have horrible self-esteem. I beat myself up over everything, and I’m super sensitive.

· Running. Running is a passion an escape and my peace of mind. It soothes and calms me.

· Food. Food is love. A good meal can lift your spirits and re-energize you. What is your favorite meal? Right now, mine is crispy wonton tacos at Appleby

· I don’t like board games. I love spending time with family and friends, but I have never enjoyed playing board games.

· Quality over quantity in friends. I do not have many close friends mostly because I don’t want to settle for less than. I want a real friend.

· I do not quit easily. I hate giving up on someone or something and I have stayed in several toxic friendships that I should have walked away from long ago.

· Paris is my second home. I am in love with France, French, and the French lifestyle. The Latin Quarter is my favorite.

· I love animals. I have been blessed to have had some amazing animals. They provide unconditional love.

· Gardening brings me peace. I’m not a master gardener, but you can find me out there singing and talking to the plants. The growing process fascinates me.

· I love my family. Like many families, mine is far from perfect, but I love them with all my heart. Time with them is always time well spent.

· Coffee is often what gets me up. The thought of a warm cup of coffee sounds amazing in the morning.

· Writing is something I have to do. I smile when I am writing or running. Ideas pop into my head at odd times, and they continue to ruminate until I put them into written form.

· I love flowers. I like to have flowers, especially roses around me.

· Reading makes me happy. I enjoy getting lost in a story.

· Swinging in the hammock is heaven. I have been discovered more than once napping in the hammock.

That is a short list to describe me. What would your list look like?

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Your Smile List

We all struggle with mental health in some form and level. If you are struggling with something serious I hope you will reach out for help, and I pray you receive the help you need. I have two issues that I fight consistently. The first is my self-esteem. I can convince myself that I’m not good at anything I do and that I am super sensitive. When our students used to do teacher evaluations if there was one bad one, that was the one I would focus on even if the complaint was outlandish. My second issue is I get stuck in funks sometimes. It’s when you are not motivated to do anything, and you just feel blah. I call it emotional flatlining. No one wants to feel that way, so I come up with tools I can use to be excited about my life again. One of these tools is the smile list.

To make a smile list start thinking about all the things that make you smile. Hopefully, as you are writing the list you are already smiling, but when you start to make the list you will realize all the blessings and positive things you have in your life. Gratitude is a great attitude. I keep the list close by to keep me grateful. Here is my list if you need help with yours.

· Children’s laughter. My husband’s ringtone is a child laughing and you have to smile when you hear it.

· My husband. What a blessing it is to be loved completely and unconditionally by someone. He treats me like a queen.

· My border collie. This dog is a lot. He has non-stop energy and frenetic is the best way to describe him, but he is sweet, loving, smart, and he makes me laugh. When he is excited, (usually for food), he speaks to me with howls.

· My children. I’m not sure how three children from the same mother can be so different, but they are, and I am blessed to have them.

· Movement. There is something about moving your body that elevates your mood and eases your stress. It doesn’t matter whether you walk, run, swim, bike, or dance as long as you get up and move.

· Rainy days. I know many people think rainy days are depressing, but I think they are beautiful. There is a certain peace in the rain.

· Flowers. I love being surrounded by flowers. The colors and the scents lift my mood.

· Good food. I love to eat, so a meal of something I enjoy is always going to make me smile.

· Porch sitting. I enjoy sitting on the porch and listening to the sounds around me. I don’t have to think about anything serious.

· Hammock swinging. I have fallen asleep quite a few times when I climbed into the hammock to swing for a minute.

· Laughter with friends. You cannot stay in a funk very long when you are laughing.

Now it’s your turn. What would you put on your smile list? I hope it ends up being incredibly long.

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The Problem with Normal

Have you noticed that the word normal sometimes has negative connotations? Many see it as a comforting word like when someone who has gone through a tough time says, “I cannot wait for things to go back to normal.” What is the real meaning of normal? The definition says that normal means conforming to a standard, usual, typical, or expected. Normal implies a lack of deviation from what has been discovered or established as usual or expected.

Problems begin when we try to fit people or things into a limited box like that. Childhood milestones are a good example. There is a list of guideposts for what children should be able to do at what age. Parents don’t always see these as the rough guidelines they are, and they worry that their children aren’t normal because they haven’t met a milestone yet. When talking to parents who have older children, you can learn that children are all different and will probably meet those milestones at their speed.

The next problem is when a society defines what normal is, but as an individual, you don’t fit into that category. You aren’t part of the norm, and you are labeled as different or strange. We have enough problems with self-esteem without always being reminded that we aren’t meeting expectations.

Trying to be normal can stifle our creativity. If we are always afraid of stepping out of the bounds of what is expected as the norm, we might not improve our sensibilities. Stepping out of our comfort zone can help us grow.

So many people try to maintain a mask of being someone they are not because they are afraid if they show who they are, others won’t accept them. Think of all the famous people we admire who made a mark on history because they decided to be their version of normal. Now decide if you want to fit into the normal box, or do you want to be authentic and possibly much more interesting. The choice is yours.

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Maintaining Motivation

Even when you are passionate about something, there are going to be highs and lows in your motivation. We all have days when we feel overwhelmed instead of uplifted, but there are some tricks to stay motivated even when we feel like we have been knocked down or taken a step back. Here are a few ideas to help you move forward.

Celebrate what you have done

It is easy to be overwhelmed by a large task, but instead of feeling defeated by what is left to do, look at what you have done. I had written 19,000 words of a novel and I sent it out to publishers. A publisher was interested if I could expand it to the standard 50,000 words. I wanted the story to be told, but it seemed out of reach until I started to work on it. I quickly realized that expanding the story was making it better. When I added 6,000 words, I had another moment when I questioned if I could make it to 50,000. I decided to focus on what I had done instead of what I hadn’t accomplished yet.

Do a refresh

Changing something can make a huge difference in motivation. Revamp your fitness routine, try a new daily routine, change your diet, or commit to something new. We all fall into comfortable ruts, and changing things up will motivate you and improve your mood.

Reevaluate goals

You may have made some goals, but as life changes you may need to rethink some of them. What goals will help you be happy and successful? What goals will help you mentally and physically?

Use pictures

Vision boards have been proven to help with goals. Find some pictures that align with what you would like to achieve. I would like to improve my muscle definition, so one of the pictures I use is a strong woman lifting heavy weights.

Believe you can

Believing you can do something is the first step to success. Sending out positive energy is powerful. Be your best cheerleader.

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Natural Cold Remedies

My two-year-old grandson is a walking petri dish of germs, and last week he managed to infect the entire family with a cold. It was interesting to see the different intensity of the symptoms based on how each family member dealt with the cold. My husband wanted to soldier on without taking any medicine, so he had the worst symptoms. I had the least symptoms, and I think it was because after teaching for 40 years and having three children of my own I have built up a tool bag of remedies. Here are a few that work for me.

Honey

Honey has antioxidants and antimicrobial properties to fight the cold, and it can also soothe a scratchy throat. It can also boost your immune system.

Peppermint oil

When I was teaching I would always have a bottle of peppermint oil on my desk. My students called it the magic oil because a little drop on the forehead solved quite a few headaches. Be careful though because some people are allergic to it, and keep it away from small children and dogs.

If you are congested, drop some oil in your palm, rub your hands together, and breathe in deeply. It’s a great decongestant. Wash your hands though before touching your eyes. (I’m speaking from experience, unfortunately!)

I also sprinkle peppermint oil on my pillow at night to help with congestion.

Breathe oil

This is another essential oil that is great to diffuse all the time. I used it in my classroom because students are always getting ill and breathe helps prevent respiratory illness. I diffuse it in my office when I’m working. It also smells amazing.

Oregano pills

I was at a local fair talking to a woman who had a health and wellness business. She told me that anytime I felt like I was becoming ill I should take Oregano and that would cure anything. It comes in both oil and pill form. I have both, but I only use the oil when I feel awful because the smell is strong.

Tea

There are so many great healing teas. I use Green and Tumeric the most, and for an upset stomach, I use ginger. There are antioxidants in tea and the warmth feels great on a scratchy throat.

Vaseline

When you have a cold your lips get dry and cracked, and your nose takes a beating from all the blowing. Vaseline is a great healer to put on both spots.

Vicks vapor rub

This was my mom’s go-to remedy. I remember having it slathered on my chest with a cloth over it, or a towel over my head over the vapor rub steam. I have stepped it down to rubbing some on my throat.

Chicken soup

The tried and true remedy! First, something is comforting about soup, and the warmth on your throat feels amazing.

I hope these natural remedies will help kick your cold to the curb.

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What Do The Voices in Your Head Say?

We don’t always realize that something we say resonates with people, and sticks with them, jumping back in their mind they need it. Can you think of something that someone has said to you that you say over in your mind in certain situations?

I believe in positivity and what can happen when you send out positive energy. Some people call it manifesting, but no matter what you call it, it means that if you believe it then it can become real. I have seen it happen too many times to not think I should at least continue to give it a try.

One of the examples of using positive energy is when we pull into a packed restaurant parking lot. I immediately say, “We are going to get seated right away.”  When I first started doing this my family would laugh at me, until unusual things would happen where even though people were waiting there was a spot for us. Now, they all say it before I can. My friend Raleigh was the same way, but last week he told me, “Jen, every time we pull into a busy restaurant I hear your voice, and I say Raleigh don’t send out the negative energy, do the positive thing Jen does, and darn it Jen, it works!”

The voice we hear could be advice someone has given us. I had this happen in two different incidents recently. The first was at a race. I tend to start out too fast, and then at mile two, I’m dying. My friend said, “Go slow and steady, and save something for the end.” The whole race I used that as my mantra. I kept saying, “Slow and steady.” I had an amazing race and even cut a minute off my finishing time.

The second incident was in the dentist’s chair. I have had the same dental hygienist for years, and she knows me well. I had a lot on my mind when I came in, and she said, “I’ve been praying for you. I also have a message for you. Be still.” That was a gut punch because I do not do stillness well and I need to spend more time in quiet. I walked around the rest of the week telling myself to be still.

I love hearing that something I wrote helped someone. A friend of mine loves to run distance, but she was always signing up for the shorter distance runs. I realized she didn’t think she could do the longer runs, but I knew she could. One day, she sent me a picture with an excerpt from my book that says, “Believe you can” She sent it as she was training for her first marathon.

Sometimes the voices are negative. Those are the ones that you can’t allow to stay. Replace those with positives and see the difference it makes.

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Marathon Mistakes to Avoid

Most of the things I have learned, especially in running, are because of mistakes I have made. My first marathon was The Atlanta Marathon on Thanksgiving. I thought I had trained correctly. I was running at least 45 miles a week, and every week I was running a long run of 16–20 miles to prepare myself for the marathon distance. Unfortunately, there were a few factors I left out of my preparation. I consider my first marathon a success because I felt strong most of the time, but there were a few things that could have helped me. Here are a few mistakes to avoid.

Going at the wrong pace

Before the marathon, I was running mostly 5 and 10 ks. When you do that you become accustomed to a certain pace. During my first marathon, I ran the first half as I would a slightly slower 5k. Each aid station had your projected finish time at that moment. At the halfway point I was projected to finish right under four hours. Unfortunately, I didn’t have as much gas for the second half, so I finished in 4:30. I had no idea what my ideal pace would be for that distance because when I was doing my long runs in training I would stop for a quick break. I think if I had run longer without stopping I might have had a better feel for my pace.

I suggest doing half-marathons as training runs because even though it is half the distance you will have more of a race feel.

The wrong fuel

My marathon was in my early days of distance running, but I should have known more about fueling. I didn’t know what an electrolyte was, and I had no idea what to eat or how often. The only thing I had in my belt was a Snickers bar, and I never ate it. I remember at mile 22, I was walking up a hill and I said to a volunteer, “I’m so hungry!” She asked if I wanted to leave the course. Um, at mile 22? My right leg might be broken, but if I’m at mile 22, I am going to finish.

My stomach does not do well with Gatorade and Powerade, (I found out the hard way at an ultra-marathon.) I also do not like gels, so through the races I have found an electrolyte that works for me called Hoist, and I eat energy gummies and waffles, as well as the classic peanut butter and jelly.

The wrong gear

There is running gear for any weather or terrain, but you have to know what to be prepared for. One of my most disappointing ultra-marathons was last year. I was so excited for this eleven-hour race, and usually I prepare like a fanatic, but I had been busy with some other things which distracted me. The day of the race, we had monsoon rains, and thunder and lightning. I have all kinds of waterproof gear, but I didn’t check the weather, so within minutes I was soaked, cold, and miserable. The trails were puddles. I am doing it again in three weeks, and I guarantee you I am ready this time.

Remember the rule you always hear that you should not wear something for the first time on race morning.

Making it about someone else

As I have reached my golden years, I am more concerned about how I can improve than comparing myself to how someone else is doing. There will always be someone faster and slower. Enjoy the joy of meeting your goals.

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What Happens When I Go to Walmart

The other day, my husband said he wanted to go pick up a few things at Walmart. You might think there is nothing out of the ordinary with that, but a trip to Walmart causes me all sorts of trouble.

As a writer, I have to be a good observer and listener. When I go to Walmart I have sensory overload. While my husband is picking out soup and chips, here is what I am doing.

A woman with three children is trying to grocery shop while herding her children who have more energy than you would think possible. She looks stressed beyond belief. I am staring at her while I imagine the story of her life. My husband is asking what we should make for dinner, and I am compiling a mental story of what I am watching.

As we move on to the cereal aisle I see a woman in one of the motorized carts. She is moving slowly through the aisle, only able to reach items that are at eye level. What has put her in that cart? Does she have an injury, or has life worn her down so she is so tired she needs to sit? I am so lost in thought sending her hope for healing in whatever form she needs that I don’t realize my husband has called my name several times. “Oh, sorry.”, I say. He wants to know which cereal I want, so I slide by the woman and the cart and reach up for my choice.

We go over to the personal care section next and see a long line at the pharmacy. It hits me how many people are struggling with their health. I look up from my musings and realize I don’t know where my husband is. I can only imagine what I will see and hear if I am allowed to wander the aisles by myself.

Before I can begin inventing more life stories for the people I see, or send out blessings, my husband pops out from the shampoo aisle and says he is ready to go. You would think that would be the end of my overactive imagination, but the checkout lane is where the best people-watching occurs. I am definitely going to need a rest after all this stimulation.