In my opinion, anyone who runs is a runner regardless of size, age, or speed, but there are some qualities that seem to stand out among runners. Here are the ingredients that I think it takes to make a runner.
Several cups of grit
Runners are tough. No matter where a runner is in the running journey, a runner greets any setbacks with plan b. While someone else might give up when faced with a challenge, a runner finds a way around it.
An ample sprinkling of positive attitude
Attitude is slightly different from grit because the difference between positive or negative can effect your level of grit. A runner with a positive attitude will have a five minute pity party when an injury or illness knocks him down, but then the runner will look beyond the setback to coming back stronger with healing.
A dash of love for running shoes
Most runners run on a variety of terrains so it is a good idea to have shoes to meet the different demands. I have lightweight shoes for short runs, light trail shoes for middle distances, shoes with cushions for marathons, and heavy duty trail shoes for ultras. There is no doubt that I am a runner when you look in my closet.
A pinch of resiliency
All runners have to deal with injuries big and small during their running careers, but most runners will be back running as soon as possible. We have an amazing ability to bounce back which has something to do with the grit and attitude.
A dusting of fearlessness
I know quite a few runners who are willing to try things that most people would laugh at, and these runners will tell you how much fun they had while others think they are crazy. I have a terrible fear of heights and I don’t much like obstacles, but when my friend who was fighting cancer asked me to run a Mudder race with her, I said yes without hesitation. Every time I had to climb over another high obstacle and plummet down the other side, I just made myself think of my friend. All runners have a little bit of crazy inside, the urge to try something unknown that pushes us out of our comfort zone.
Seasoning to taste of competitiveness
We are competitive with ourselves, with our friends, and with the runner who has been on our heels for the entire race. We always want to be better, faster, stronger.
If you put all these ingredients together, and let the qualities rise to the top, you will find the average runner, and although the recipe will never yield exactly the same results every time, the average runner is still a glorious thing to behold.
Most families have a busy lifestyle. The parents have hectic work schedules, children need our time and attention no matter what their ages, and older children have school activities as well as after-school obligations. It is difficult to balance a normal day without trying to find some time to be all together as a family, but family time is more important than anything else that we do. Here are some ideas for activities that are cost-friendly and no fuss.
Cooking
There is something about being in the kitchen that provides comfort. Even small children can help make cookies. Allow children to menu plan. Knowing how to cook is a valuable skill and the end product is fun to share.
Movie night
Pick a night once a month where a different member of the family can pick a movie that the whole family will watch. Prepare snacks and enjoy some entertainment together. This is my children’s favorite activity, and I am not allowed to try to do work or anything else during that time.
Arts and crafts
Arts and crafts allow families to work on projects and converse while doing it. Each season provides a chance for decorating the home, school, and neighborhood. Even coloring, or drawing together makes for a pleasant time. Craft ideas can be found at www.pinterest.com.
Sports
Engaging in sports together can build a family bond while improving family health. Families can run, swim, bike, horseback ride, go for walks, as well as many other sports.
Board games
Board games lead to laughter as family members try to use strategies to win. Younger children can learn with games like Candyland. Children can learn valuable skills like counting and strategic thinking.
Dinner together
One of the things that I have always insisted on is that we eat as a family. Not only do we share great food, but also it is a chance for everyone to share what happened during the day. I know every parent has asked their children when they come home “What did you do today?” only to hear “Nothing.” For some reason, during dinner children are more apt to share
Community service
Serving as a family is a great way to teach your children to look beyond themselves. There is so much need out there and you can instill in your children the need to serve. Possibilities include local thrift stores, missions, and churches.
These are just several examples of what you can do together as a family. No matter what you do together, the key element is to give your time to each other. Everything else fades in importance to family, so devote the necessary time to making great memories.
We all have those moments when we have taken a beating from life and/or from the people with whom we interact. We need someone who can give us direction, advice to heal our souls and calm our minds. We need that best friend who always has our back, and can speak words of wisdom to help us to see other’s perspectives.
Having someone who is your unconditional supporter is a lifesaver on those days when you want to hide under the covers. Life will be so much easier if you can treat yourself with more kindness and talk to yourself as if you are your best friend. How can we help others love themselves if we cannot love ourselves?
Our lives are meant to be lived to the fullest and to do that we have to have support and encouragement. The best place to look for that is within yourself. Here are some tips to help you help yourself.
1. Change your self-talk.
Listen to your self-talk for a day. Are your words uplifting, or are you tearing yourself down? Compare your thoughts with what you say to your best friend. Build yourself up with your words, and start to only say positive phrases. Continue to tell yourself you are more than enough until you believe it.
2. Practice self-care without guilt.
We often feel guilty when we pamper ourselves and do something that is only for us. However, when we take care of ourselves, it makes it easier to take care of others. It also strengthens our mental health and puts us in a better frame of mind. Taking care of yourself will have a positive influence on everything you do.
3. Do what you love.
Don’t listen to people who say you are too old to do something, or that an activity you enjoy is weird or silly. You never know if there is someone else who has been hesitant to do something and seeing you doing it will open the door for that person to try it.
4. Give yourself grace.
As a high school teacher, I have numerous opportunities to make a fool of myself, so I have learned to laugh at the less-than-glorious moments, and hope my students will learn to laugh at themselves too. We all make mistakes, say the wrong thing, or react badly. While we may be hard on ourselves, chances are pretty good that the other people involved forgot about it five minutes later.
5. Be yourself.
Trying to maintain a persona other than your authentic self is exhausting and defeating. Being transparent about strengths and weaknesses is liberating, and puts others at ease.
You hold the power to be happy and to choose joy. Follow the five steps to love yourself, and you will see a difference in your perspective about life.
Life can be chaotic in the best of times, but when you throw in a pandemic, fires, floods, and political tensions, a stressful concoction will bubble up. Our emotions and sensibilities are being pulled in a million different directions, so how can we maintain a sense of calm and peace? Let me give you ten suggestions for preserving the peace.
Soak up nature
Being outside can be restorative because nature has the power to heal. A walk on a beautiful day, a swim in a lake, or simply observing what is around you can cause a sense of peace and make you forget your troubles. Sit outside with a cup of coffee and forget about your troubles.
Exercise
Movement is a natural stress reliever. If you are filled with emotions, go for a walk, a run, a swim, or a bike ride, and the troubles will fall off behind you. Let your mind go blank except for observing what is around you.
Listen to your music
Music can motivate you with a catchy beat, but it can also calm you down with soothing sounds. I always say that dancing in the kitchen or singing at the top of your voice in the car will make any problem seem unimportant.
Laugh
Laughter seems to make problems bubble away. You cannot possibly be stressed when you are laughing. Hearing laughter has the same effect, especially if it is from a child. My oldest daughter and I react to each other’s laughter, and my sister could not keep from laughing if she heard my laughter. It is better than any medicine.
Control how much news you watch
I believe everyone should be informed, but too much news will raise your emotions and your stress level too high. When I see emotional stories I think about them for weeks, and it weighs heavy on me. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who is affected this way, so watch some uplifting stories too.
Play with an animal
It is proven that animals have a therapeutic effect on us. They make us laugh and they make us feel loved and needed.
Be still
Doing nothing can calm you down as you regroup and relax.
Disconnect
Social media is a lot of emotions swirling around and demanding likes and comments. It can be exhausting. Put all your technology away for a while every day.
Pray
Take some quiet time and pray for what’s on your mind. Releasing our worries through prayer can relieve some of the burden.
Do what you love
Doing more of what we love can make us happy and when we are happy, we are more peaceful.
If you can incorporate these ten things into your life, you can at least partially shut out all the craziness around you and find some peace. Each day brings a chance for renewal and new hope.
Most people probably think that running a race is as simple as showing up, moving into a pack, and running off at the starting whistle, but there are some very important rules of etiquette involved. Here are ten of them.
Don’t do the pre-race brag.
This happens when someone comes up to a random stranger and begins to describe what an impressive runner he is. You will hear about him running marathons in all fifty states, and if you seem interested, he will continue to gift you with tales of his prowess until the start of the race.
Only offer running advice when asked.
I have asked elite runners for advice on different aspects of running after races, but having someone tell you how to run a hill only because you choose to walk a few feet to catch your breath is inappropriate.
Don’t stop abruptly.
Runners fall into a rhythm and speed, so it can be dangerous if someone stops on a dime in front of you. If you need to stop, move to the side, and hold up your arm to signal you are stopping. By doing this, runners have a chance to adjust. When you pass through the finishing chute, continue all the way through instead of stopping quickly and blocking the people behind you.
Allow room for faster runners to pass.
If you are a slow runner, stay in the slow lane on the right side. If you are running with a group of friends, do not spread out across the road blocking anyone who wants to pass. On trails, move to the side, especially when a runner signals a wish to pass by saying, “On your left.”
Be gracious to volunteers
Races cannot happen without the help from volunteers, and often they spend a long time out in unpleasant weather so that runners can enjoy their sport. We all appreciate encouragement, and hearing “Good job! Keep going!” might be what you need to make it over the next hill.
Encourage fellow runners.
Offering words of encouragement to fellow runners is always welcome. One day, I was struggling up a hill, so I decided to boost my own motivation by encouraging a young lady who had stopped to walk. I said, “C’mon, let’s crush this hill together!” She started to run with me so now I couldn’t stop either because I had committed to making it up the hill with her.
If someone is doing her first race, she might be nervous, so simply saying, “Good job!” can help.
Navigate water stops.
Move to the side if you are going to stop for water. When you are ready to discard your cup, make sure you will not be throwing it at another runner. Throw cups in the bin or off to the side of the road so the road does not become a slippery mess.
Be careful where you spit.
I originally titled this don’t spit because I think spitting is gross, but if you have to do it, make sure it is not going to hit another runner. It’s an even better idea to do it where no one has to hear it either.
Don’t make excuses
Don’t tell the person who beat you that you would have beaten him if you hadn’t broken your leg/had cholera/fallen off a cliff. Be gracious and use any defeat to inspire you to train better.
Placement at the start
The faster racers should be at the front of the start line. If you know you are going to run slowly or walk the course, start more to the back. It can affect the flow of a larger race if too many people are trying to get around a slower group.
Racing is so much fun, and it is a social event as well as a physical one. I have met some of my best friends at races. Practice my suggestions for running etiquette and you will have a great experience.
Many of us have fitness goals, but so many things can get in our way and keep us from reaching them. Many of us are afraid of failure or embarrassment, but remember how many times the Bible tells us not to be afraid, and to give our fears to the Lord. Some of us are not even sure how to start, so here are some simple steps to help anyone who wants to crush fitness goals.
Believe it is possible.
People share their fitness goals with me all the time. They tell me what they wish they could do, and then they tell me why they are sure it will never happen. They see the impossible instead of even trying to make it a possibility. I have a sign that says It is only impossible until you make it happen. There is a fear of failure that keeps us from being in better health. You have nothing to lose by taking a chance on yourself. It is amazing when you see someone prove he or she can conquer something difficult, and all you have to do is take the first step.
Make a plan.
Decide what you need to do to meet your fitness goals. It is always a good idea to consult with a doctor first. Listen to your doctor’s suggestions, and ask about ways to support your fitness routine with good nutrition.
Find someone who is already good at what you want to do. Figure out what that person is doing to succeed. Ask questions, and look for information and inspiration that will help you.
Once you have an idea of what you need to do, write it all out and post it somewhere where you will see it easily. Implement your plan slowly, and do not overdo it at first, or you will give up. Gradually increase your intensity until you are at the level you want.
Pick an activity you enjoy.
Fitness routines come in many forms, including dancing, walking, running, swimming, biking, tennis, and many more. Do what you enjoy so that you will be motivated to continue to do it.
Remember your reasons.
There are some good reasons to exercise, and it helps to list what yours are to keep you on track. Here is my list to give you an idea.
I want to be in good shape to play with my grandson.
As I age, I want to be mobile and avoid medications.
Being unhealthy can be expensive.
Good eating and plenty of exercise will keep my weight down.
I like meeting people when I exercise.
Exercise and being in shape will help with stress.
Be consistent
If you exercise regularly, you will see changes in your body and your mood. If you stop and start, you will not see the same benefits from your routine, and it will be harder to find the motivation to start again.
Give yourself grace.
There will be setbacks, and when this happens, tell yourself you will do better tomorrow. Feeling guilty will not help the situation. Be your own cheerleader by vowing to do better.
Eliminate excuses.
Excuses are roadblocks to your success. Instead of saying why you cannot do something, find a plan to make what you want to do happen. Excuses hold you back from taking the first step towards fulfilling your goals and being happier.
Change your behavior.
Your routine and your daily behavior might be undermining your goals. What do you need to change to clear the path to crush your fitness goals? Make physical activity something you look forward to, whether that means exploring the neighborhood, challenging a friend, or making your activity a chance to meet new people.
Make exercise part of your routine.
Make exercise something you do every day, like eating breakfast and walking the dog. If you make it a part of your day instead of deciding whether all the stars are aligned just right, you will have much more success. Wake up, lace up the sneakers, and get going. You will feel better the rest of the day.
You can accomplish any fitness goal, and you will see your health and your life change when you do. Our health affects everything we do, and when we are out of shape our mental health can suffer as well as our physical. Take that first step towards better health, and never look back.
Transitions are the oil can for the changes in our lives. Instead of an abrupt change, transitions allow us to ease gently into the next phase or activity. If we learn how to use them or understand their value, it can make our lives much easier.
I wanted to write about transitions this month because I have always thought September was a transitional month between summer and the colder weather to come. I am a barefoot walker, swinging on the porch, cooking out, firefly catching, lover of summer. Although the end of summer is always a little hard for me, I also love fall with the cool mornings, toasting s’mores, curling up in front of a fire pit, picking apples, and all the other fun things that fall brings. It is like a buffer to get me ready for seriously cold weather and staying inside more. Here are a few more transitions that are important to me.
When my children were younger, I learned it was important to give them ample warning before a change of activity. I called it the ten-second rule. When it was time to do something different I would say, “O.k. everyone, you have ten minutes until you have to get out of the pool.” “Ten minutes until bedtime.” “We are leaving in ten minutes.” When I started doing this I was amazed at the behavior change. Try it for yourself and watch the magic. Your children will stop fussing and whining when it is time to do something new because you have given them a chance to prepare for the change. You have given them a transition. I smiled this weekend when I heard my daughter using the ten-minute rule with her children and guess what? It still works!
If you are a teacher the same thing can work in the classroom as you switch from one activity to another. If you give your students notice that in a certain amount of time you will be doing another activity, it can alleviate some anxiety because they know what to expect ahead of time.
I recently retired from teaching after forty years in the classroom, and I am thankful that a retired neighbor warned me that I would experience a transition from working to retirement. He told me he woke up every night for two weeks after he retired wondering if he had done the right thing. His story helped me understand my feelings as the end of the school year approached. I was excited about the new adventure ahead of me, but each time I thought about leaving my students, I would start to cry. I needed time to leave behind something I was so used to doing and move on to start a new chapter. It helped to know my need for this transition was normal.
At this time of the year, many of our children are transitioning from high school to adulthood through college. College will teach them how to handle independence and to learn more life skills to prepare them for life as an adult.
Transitions can provide a time for self-reflection, a chance to overcome fear, and the possibility to learn how to deal with uncertainty. They can also sometimes cause stress and a range of emotions. The healthiest thing you can do is to express your fears and emotions about the changes in your life and ask for help when you need it.
I am ashamed to say that I often resorted to yelling with my two oldest children. The stress of a full-time job and two children constantly whining and harping at each other, brought out the worse in me. It took my third child, Kait, to teach me there is a calmer approach to parenting, and yelling is never an appropriate choice. I only yelled at Kait once. She dissolved in tears, and I realized it was time to be more creative with my approach to discipline and parenting. Here are a few things I have learned about a calmer approach to parenting.
Be proactive
Many issues can be avoided if the people involved are fed and rested. This means both children and parents and it is true for every age. When you are rested, your emotions are more controlled and you can handle both your and your children’s emotions easier.
Deescalate the situation
Chaos is like a storm. It hits without warning and it can whip up havoc in its wake. You can choose how you react to any situation. You can allow your emotions to go from zero to sixty in seconds, or you can be the calm element in the room. It’s difficult for emotions to continue to rage when no one is fueling them. Stay calm, evaluate the situation, and decide what should be done.
Stay calm
When you have clear rules and consequences for when those rules are broken, it makes life much easier. If you walk into a child’s room that looks like a storm hit it, calmly inform the child that the room must be cleaned up before (you insert the fun thing the child will miss). Another idea, if you can stand it, is to tell them they are responsible for their spaces, and then don’t make a fuss about whether the rooms are clean or not. I have done this with my youngest and although it is often difficult to walk away from the overflowing trash can, she has done a good job of being responsible for her space.
Surprise them
When I began to use a calmer approach to parenting, my oldest daughter told me I seemed like a different person. Using a different technique will work at least once as they try to figure out why you are acting differently.
Use the Brer Rabbit technique
Remember the story of Brer rabbit who was about to be punished and kept saying, “whatever you do to me, don’t throw me in the briar patch!” We discover though that being thrown in the briar patch is exactly what he was hoping to have happen. I use a technique similar to this with my children. My youngest told me frequently that she wasn’t sure college was what she wanted to do. I know she expected me to throw a fit and tell her she was being crazy, but instead, I listened to her and said, “O.k., but I expect you to come up with a plan B and tell me what you want to do with your life.” She went to college and loves it and feels as if she was given a choice instead of being forced to do something.
Try the ten-minute rule
This has been one of the most efficient tools of parenting for me. Children need some help with the transition from one activity to another. Tell your child that in ten minutes you will be switching activities. You might say that in ten minutes we are leaving, or in ten minutes we will eat, or we are going to bed in ten minutes. It works every time!
Ask them what punishment is fair
My children knew there were consequences for actions, and they often told me what the punishment was before I could say it. “I know, I’m grounded.” “I’m sorry. I’m going to go start the extra chores now.” What if you ask your child what discipline would be fair? You might hear some creative ideas.
Make them responsible for their actions
Much of the stress of parenting comes from us trying to solve situations, fix issues, and motivate children to have good behavior. It becomes easier if there are clear consequences for actions. Make bad behavior require good behavior to make it right. They can do community service, help neighbors, or help you.
Parenting is not easy, but you can make it easier on yourself if you use some of the calmer techniques.
After teaching for forty years, I can say that the last two years have probably been the most challenging and required the most flexibility and creativity. When the pandemic first hit, we had a one-day warning to prepare and then our school launched virtual learning. We learned how to handle daily classes as we went. Last year, my school was mostly in person with some students choosing to be virtual, so teachers now had to do both in-person teachings as well as filling the needs of the virtual learners. It has not been an ideal situation, but I have learned some strategies to help my students learn and I would like to share them with you. These will help students, teachers, and parents.
#1 Communication
There has to be communication between everyone involved in the learning experience for virtual learning to work. Teachers need to give clear directions and expectations and share them with both parents and teachers. Parents and students should feel comfortable asking questions. It is also important to open a few extra ways to communicate. I created GroupMe accounts for each class so that I could text them quickly or they could tell me if there was a tech issue. It came in handy the day I meant to turn off the PowerPoint, but I kicked myself out of the meeting instead. Suddenly I was receiving messages that said, “Madame, are you coming back?”
Although good communication is important, parents should not send unnecessary e-mails or have unrealistic expectations that the teacher should reply within five minutes. There are a lot of moving parts with virtual learning and preparing for it can be more time-consuming than normal.
#2 Create a workspace
The first lockdown in March was frustrating for teachers because some students thought learning from the bed was a great idea, with the camera off or pointed towards the ceiling fan. It is best to find a more serious spot than the bed. If you do not have a desk, use the kitchen table. Have everything you need and make it as distraction-free as possible.
#3 Practice any new technology before it’s go time.
Technology is an amazing tool, but it’s always a good idea to have a backup plan in case it doesn’t work. Check connectivity and make sure everyone knows what platform will be used and where the codes are found. Headphones seem to work well to avoid distractions, so find a pair that works for you.
#4 Give grace
The chances of everything going smoothly all the time is not high even when everyone is doing his best. We must work together to make a difficult situation easier, give some grace, and have a sense of humor.
#5 Be flexible
This is one of the biggest elements for success with virtual learning. Be creative, play with possibilities, fight frustration, ask questions, and grow in your knowledge of troubleshooting.
#6 Keep a sense of humor
Some very funny stories have come out of my experiences with virtual learning. There was a time when a girl thought she was muted, but wasn’t and I had trouble getting her attention to get her to stop talking to her mom because I was laughing too hard. There will be connectivity issues when someone loses connection continually while giving a presentation. Teachers kicked themselves off of the internet platform without realizing it and continued to teach for twenty minutes before realizing that it was very quiet.
#7 Be transparent
I was so nervous on the first day of virtual learning. We had not had much preparation, and I was so nervous that I was going to do everything wrong and let my students down. During my first class, I confessed to my class how I was feeling, and I discovered they were very nervous too. They didn’t know what the expectations were, or how they were supposed to complete them. It helped me to be honest with my students and ask for their help. I also think it is a good idea for everyone to do an emotional check from time to time. Ask the simple question of “How are you doing?” Parents, students, and teachers all have suffered some distress during the pandemic, and it helps to share the feelings.
#8 Ask for help
Success with virtual learning requires a community. A group of teachers formed a GroupMe account to support each other, and we shared challenges and questions. Someone always had the answer to whatever someone else was struggling with. It did not feel as isolating as it could have because we had each other.
#9 Have some fun
This is a time to try some creativity and some activities you might not do in the classroom. One of my most successful moments was when I cooked with my French class virtually. I sent a list the day before on Google of what they would need. I showed them how to separate an egg, how to make French mayonnaise and a French appetizer, and French toast. I have never had so much of a response from parents saying they watched it, enjoyed the excitement, and that now the students were making the dishes.
# 10 Let Some things go
The curriculum can still be taught well and learned, but it may have to be done in a slightly different way. Create curiosity and some questions and allow the students to continue to delve deeper into the material.
Teachers should realize that lecturing every day is not the best idea in a virtual environment. Find some fun ways to teach the material. Students are more engaged and excited when the learning is interactive. Parents, if you have become the teacher, you can do the same thing. Go to a museum or a public garden to learn by doing. There is a great website www.abcteach.com which has some wonderful ideas for teachers and parents.
My oldest daughter gave birth to my precious grandson two months ago. During that time, I have watched her try to do everything perfectly. She has been a rock star mom, but anyone will tell you that parenting is messy and what worked brilliantly one day, probably will not work the next. Although It has been a huge learning experience for her in the beauty of imperfection, it has been difficult to watch my daughter exhaust herself as she does her best to be a good mom. I have tried to keep my advice to myself unless I was asked for it, but I think I could have saved her some angst if I had offered a few bits of hard-learned wisdom. Here are a few things that might help any parent.
Self-care is as important as child care.
You cannot do your child any good if you are exhausted, emotionally drained, or hungry. Do not feel guilty about doing things for yourself because you can take better care of your child if you feel good. Find things that lift your spirits like dancing to great music in the kitchen with your child, binging on a great series, or door dashing your favorite foods. People will tell you that most problems can be avoided if you keep your child fed and rested, and the same is true for you. You also need some time to yourself, so If you have someone who can watch the child, sneak out for an hour.
Define your boundaries
Everyone wants to see a new baby, but a stream of visitors will wear you out. Post a note on the door to not ring the doorbell, and give friends and family times when they can visit. Older children bring over friends at all hours, so you may need to draw some boundaries there.
Let things go
You are going to make so many mistakes as a parent, and that’s ok. You will learn from each stumble and come back stronger. There are certain days when you should not worry whether the laundry is done, or the house is clean. Rearrange your priorities to fit your life and situation.
United we stand
If you have a partner in the parenting journey, make sure you support each other’s decisions because children are very good at finding weak spots and creating division. Work together to decide how you want to approach each situation and then do it as a united front.
Share with other parents
It is often difficult to be transparent about what is not going right in our parenting adventure, but when we have the courage to share our struggles, it not only helps us when we realize we are not the only ones dealing with the same issues, but it can also help others who thought the problem was theirs alone.
Drop the guilt
As parents, when our children do something wrong, we immediately think it is because we did something wrong. I cannot tell you how liberating it was for me when I realized my children needed to take responsibility for their actions.
Keep a sense of humor
When my husband and I start telling parenting stories, we usually start laughing so hard our stomachs hurt. Parenting has been messy, awkward, frustrating, emotional, and most definitely funny. As long as you are doing your best for your children, everything else will work itself out.
You do you.
This has been the advice I have given my daughter the most. Everyone has an opinion about how something should be done and they don’t have any trouble sharing that advice with you. You need to choose what works for you and your family.
Jennifer’s writing 