You will never see me wearing headphones when I run. I want to hear the conversations that tell me so many of the stories of the runners around me. I almost always meet someone new at races who wants to tell me his or her story. At every race I find myself thinking that I wish more people knew running is about so much more than putting one foot in front of the other. Here is what I see and hear at every race.

Courage

It takes courage if you are struggling with fitness to show up to an event where there are going to be people who make fitness a priority. Many people will never do a race because they are too afraid of failure, so when I see people who have conquered that fear and are taking a step towards a  healthier lifestyle, I think they are courageous.

Struggles

I have heard so many extreme stories of health struggles (both physical and mental) that I accept that at least some of the people at every race are using running to cope.

Inspiration

I don’t have much patience for people who say they cannot exercise after some of the overcomers  I have seen. A good example would be a recent race where a group of veterans were racing. As we ran by a woman in a wheelchair, one of them yelled, “c’mon let’s go!” and the woman replied, “I’m coming as soon as I can get my leg on.” No excuses, just doing what she knew was good for her.

Gratitude

I see people who are grateful that they are able to run. They have survived their own struggles or know how important running is to them.

Hope

Running offers the chance to be better, and stronger. It is a way to defeat any demons holding us back.

Support

Runners support each other whether we know you or you are a stranger. We will cheer harder every time for the last runner than we do for the first across the line. As long as you have shown up at the line, you deserve to be there.

Life has a way of throwing us curve balls every once in a while and our routines, plans, and goals can be thrown into disarray. Once we have things under control again, we have a choice of whether to get back on track or make excuses about why it is too difficult to regroup and move forward. This happened to me with my running. I had been training for my first ultra-marathon for several months. I had logged an insane amount of mileage, read books about the best way to run an ultra, and done my best to eat a healthy diet. I was ready. Unfortunately, that is when life threw me the curveball. I received a phone call from my niece telling me that my sister Patricia had been taken to the hospital and the doctors were not sure if she would make it through the night. I live in Georgia, and my family lives in Connecticut so my husband, oldest daughter, and I caught the next flight out and went straight to the hospital. My sister began a very slow recovery which required us to make one more trip to Connecticut before my race.

Although I am so glad that I was able to see my sister and be there with her, It was difficult to train amidst all the chaos. When the race was a week away, I was wondering if I had trained enough to do it. That’s when I received a blessing in the form of an article about a woman runner who said that if something interferes with your training, do the race anyway. She said to run the race at a slower pace and said you would be able to go farther without a problem. I decided to do the race and I did fine. It taught me that instead of giving up or making excuses, I should stay strong and find an alternative way to accomplish my objective. I think that is true in most areas of our lives. Here are some ideas for you to stay strong too.

Refuse to make excuses. Excuses are the fear of failure. If you try to accomplish something and you fail, figure out another way to do it. Believe you will eventually succeed and remember that nothing that comes easily is as valued as what we have to work hard to achieve.

Regroup after the storm. Sometimes you have to make new goals and it can be discouraging to feel as if you have taken a step backward, but tell yourself that you will achieve even more as you become stronger. You are not defeated until you stop rising back up.

Give yourself grace. We all want the golden ticket immediately but you have to take baby steps sometimes and there will be days when you slip a little in your goals, but you have to keep reminding yourself that you will prevail. I have a friend who has been struggling with her weight for years. She is on a meal plan now that works for her and I love to see her determination to keep going even though she knows the weight loss will not happen overnight.  

Have the right perspective. If you are recovering from an injury and cannot perform an activity as well as you used to, realize that at least you are still doing it and many people will admire you for making an effort. We are often so much harder on ourselves while others have much lower expectations.

Don’t be discouraged. If you have worked hard to achieve something whether it is your fitness level, proficiency at something or anything else that has required time and effort, and you suddenly suffer a setback, you have to adjust your mindset. Instead of thinking that you have lost what you have worked for or cannot regain your satisfaction at some level, tell yourself that you will return back to where you were before and you are going to realize that although it may take time, you will make it. A defeatist attitude will defeat you while believing in the possibilities will propel you forward.

Ask for help. Asking for help is a sign of intelligence, not a sign of weakness. There are people who have strengths that can help us eliminate our weaknesses. Ask questions of people who are good at what you would like to do. Research what you need to know. Be an active participant in your recovery.

Life is a roller coaster ride. If it was always easy, we wouldn’t become stronger and learn from successes and failures. It isn’t what happens to you that counts, it’s how you react to it and the plan you devise to make it better. Stay strong and keep moving forward.

     Parents want the best for their children, and we try to give them a good education, help to build strong character, and offer them the best opportunities. If we add giving them a global perspective, we can increase the possibilities for outstanding opportunities.

     Our children should be aware of what is going on beyond our country’s borders. We need to give them a world view by teaching them world history, and culture, and how to communicate in another language. We have to find a way to spark an interest in the world around them by making what we are teaching them not just something that they will read in a book and then forget. In a society where our children are glued to a screen most of the time, piquing their interest in becoming a global citizen might seem like a daunting task, but there are some very easy things that parents can do to make it happen.

     Here are some ways to provide a global view for your children.

 pen pals from another country

Students at Mount Paran Christian School receive their letters.

www.epals.com is a great site to find a correspondent from many different countries. My French classes wrote to students from two different schools in France, and we skyped with a class from another French school. The correspondence allows the students to learn the culture and language from people their own age who are actually from the country being studied. It brings the study of the language and culture to life. Many of the students have begun following each other on social media. This is a way to start a connection and open communication that could potentially last a lifetime.

Host a student  

There are many local and national organizations and sometimes schools that are looking for a place to stay for an international student. There is usually a small stipend to pay for room and board, but the connections that can be made are priceless. Some organizations that place international students are;

https://www.iseusa.org/        International student exchange

https://exchanges.state.gov/us/schools        Bureau of educational and cultural affairs

https://asse.com/

https://www.isepstudyabroad.org/

Mission trips

     Mission trips allow children and adults to experience another culture and try another language, all while serving others. Many local schools offer trips within both the United States and internationally. Churches always have trips going out throughout the year. Participating in a trip like this can show our children how blessed we are at home and how much need there is in the world. It is both a learning experience and a character builder.

Trips

If your budget will allow it, there is no substitute for traveling as a way to learn about other cultures firsthand. There is a variety of tour options through companies like EF tours or Passport tours, or your local travel agent, or through your local school or church. If you do not speak the language of the country where you are going, it is nice to have a guide that does, so sometimes a guided tour is the way to go. You will make unforgettable memories for your family.

Cultural community events

     Local schools and communities offer international fairs and festivals that are often very inexpensive to attend and offer a glimpse into another culture with changes to interact with activities and sample cultural cuisine.

     Our local school recently held an international fair where parents with international connections were invited to come to host a booth representing their country of origin. The cafeteria was filled with wonderful aromas and beautiful music, while students traveled from booth to booth learning about different countries and having their passports stamped. It was a learning opportunity for the students as well as a chance for the parents to share their heritage.

Language Apps and websites to learn languages

     There are many free apps and websites to help you learn another language. One of the most popular is called Duolingo. https://www.duolingo.com/    Duolingo is a lot like Rosetta Stone but it is free and just as fun to use.

Here are some other free sites to use;

www.babbel.com

http://www.livinglanguage.com/products/additional/ 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/languages/

https://www.memrise.com/

My daughter told me I wasn’t acting like a retired person. When I asked her how a retired person was supposed to act she told me I should be relaxing and putting my feet up. I think that is the perception that many people have of retirement, but there are other options.

Most of us dream of a time when we no longer have to work unless we love what we do and want to continue. We dream of what we will do when that time comes. Those dreams vary from person to person, but they usually include sleeping late, spending time with family, traveling, and enjoying life at a slower pace.

I will admit that when I retired, I did all those things. I was tired after 40 years in the classroom and I remember pointing at the porch swing and telling my husband I was going to spend a lot of time there. After someone has spent a good part of his life working, he is entitled to some rest, but I don’t think retirement only means that we slow down.

Retirement can mean new possibilities. We now have time to pursue other passions. It doesn’t mean we have to sit in the rocker and do nothing, in fact we should probably make sure that’s not what we do. We can still relax and enjoy life more, but I think we also should include physical exercise and mental stimulation. Any movement is fine to keep active and taking up a new hobby, talking with friends, or learning something new are all great forms of mental stimulation.

I retired because my oldest had always asked me to retire when she had a baby so I could help her. I retired in May and the baby came in June. I was excited about retirement because of the chance to spend time with family, but also to spend more time doing some of the things I am passionate about. I finally was able to spend time the way I wanted to. I was also surprised and a little guilty at how much my family needed me at home. My youngest is in college trying to decide on a major and she needs me to be a sounding board for all of the questions she is asking herself about her life path. I am blessed that my husband enjoys my company and comes up from his office to tell me about his latest meeting, and of course, there is the time spent with my daughter and grandson. I am writing, running, learning Italian and guitar without any time constraints. I say all this to encourage you to look at retirement as a chance to keep growing and enjoying life instead of feeling as if your life has to be stagnant. Enjoy the second act!

The last few years have been full of changes and uncertainty. We are seeing our job market change as more people want to work remotely or were forced to change jobs because of the shutdown. Many became creative and started new careers while others are struggling to get by. We have dealt with the fear of the pandemic as our health care system is strained with the weight of patients and the death toll. There has been frustration with conflicting information and families have mourned the loss of loved ones. What do you think the new year will bring? Will we irradicate the virus? Will we solve the problem of the worker shortage?  Will we adapt to all the new changes? Here are a few thoughts I would like to share about the possibilities in the new year.

We can’t always control what happens to us but we can control how we react to it. No matter what 2022 brings us, we can choose to grow from it or complain about it. Whether we see blessings or burdens depends on our attitude. Vern Mclellan says, “What the new year brings to you will depend a great deal on what you bring to the new year.”

How resilient you are will be a major factor in 2022. You can choose to let the negatives from the last few years hold you back, or you can regroup, become stronger, and reinvent yourself to be an even better version of yourself. So are you going to complain about your life or kick the excuses to the curb and make 2022 the best year yet?

Sometimes the tough times make us tougher. Be thankful for any lessons the last few years have taught you. I became closer with several family members when we went into lockdown and I have a better understanding of their perspectives on important topics. There are always blessings hidden in the thorns. You only have to open yourself up to see them.

The pandemic has convinced many that it is time to take care of our health. With the help of your doctor and possibly a trainer, design a health regimen that will work for you and that you will do consistently. The key really is to do whatever you choose consistently. Make 2022 the year you are in your best shape yet.

We have seen many examples of giving and kindness at a time when it was so needed. Make a commitment to do random acts of kindness as often as possible. I warn you that they are addictive. Once you do one you will want to do more. Thank the people who helped you this year.

There are so many possibilities for 2022. What memories would you like to make? Take the first step, leave fear behind, and have an amazing 2022.  

Most people probably think that running a race is as simple as showing up, moving into a pack, and running off at the starting whistle, but there are some very important rules of etiquette involved. Here are ten of them.

1. Don’t do the pre-race brag.

This happens when someone comes up to a random stranger and begins to describe what an impressive runner he is. You will hear about him running marathons in all fifty states, and if you seem interested, he will continue to gift you with tales of his prowess until the start of the race.

• Only offer running advice when asked.

I have asked elite runners for advice on different aspects of running after races, but having someone tell you how to run a hill only because you choose to walk a few feet to catch your breath is inappropriate.

• Don’t stop abruptly.

Runners fall into a rhythm and speed, so it can be dangerous if someone stops on a dime in front of you. If you need to stop, move to the side, and hold up your arm to signal you are stopping. By doing this, runners have a chance to adjust. When you pass through the finishing chute, continue all the way through instead of stopping quickly and blocking the people behind you.

• Allow room for faster runners to pass.

If you are a slow runner, stay in the slow lane on the right side. If you are running with a group of friends, do not spread out across the road blocking anyone who wants to pass. On trails, move to the side, especially when a runner signals a wish to pass by saying, “On your left.”

• Be gracious to volunteers

Races cannot happen without the help from volunteers, and often they spend a long time out in unpleasant weather so that runners can enjoy their sport. We all appreciate encouragement, and hearing “Good job! Keep going!” might be what you need to make it over the next hill.

• Encourage fellow runners.

Offering words of encouragement to fellow runners is always welcome. One day, I was struggling up a hill, so I decided to boost my own motivation by encouraging a young lady who had stopped to walk. I said, “C’mon, let’s crush this hill together!” She started to run with me so now I couldn’t stop either because I had committed to making it up the hill with her.

If someone is doing her first race, she might be nervous, so simply saying, “Good job!” can help.

• Navigate water stops.

Move to the side if you are going to stop for water. When you are ready to discard your cup, make sure you will not be throwing it at another runner. Throw cups in the bin or off to the side of the road so the road does not become a slippery mess.

• Be careful where you spit.

I originally titled this don’t spit because I think spitting is gross, but if you have to do it, make sure it is not going to hit another runner. It’s an even better idea to do it where no one has to hear it either.

• Don’t make excuses

Don’t tell the person who beat you that you would have beaten him if you hadn’t broken your leg/had cholera/fallen off a cliff. Be gracious and use any defeat to inspire you to train better.

The faster racers should be at the front of the start line. If you know you are going to run slowly or walk the course, start more to the back. It can affect the flow of a larger race if too many people are trying to get around a slower group.

Racing is so much fun, and it is a social event as well as a physical one. I have met some of my best friends at races. Practice my suggestions for running etiquette and you will have a great experience.

My friend gave me a wonderful compliment recently. She told me that I see beauty where others don’t. I thought a lot about that statement and here is what I think she meant.

Beauty isn’t always found in shiny, pretty things. Have you ever laughed when you see the animal that looks outrageous or the child who is smeared in dirt, with wild hair? Those things are beautiful to me.

I find kindness beautiful. When someone does something nice for someone else when they didn’t have to and it ends up being what the receiver needed desperately. That is beautiful to me.

When someone doesn’t feel uncomfortable around someone who is different or doesn’t avert his eyes when someone has a condition or is having mental health issues is a beautiful sight.

I love rainy days. There is something calm, quiet, and mysterious about them. Sitting on the porch in the summer during a downpour is beautiful.

I would rather be with someone who has a beautiful heart than a beautiful face.

Laughter is beautiful especially if it is with friends or the laughter of a child.

Good food is beautiful.

Silence is beautiful.

Music amazes me with its beauty and I am in awe of the people who have a gift with music.

Books and writing are beautiful because they can lift people up and inspire them.

Where do you see beauty?    

Mental health has been an important topic after the last few tumultuous years. It has been a time of heightened emotions, uncertainty, misinformation, losing loved ones, and a changing job market. We have to be on our toes and mentally sharp so we can adapt and survive. With all this turmoil, we all need some healthy escapes. Let me tell you a few of mine and then I will give you a list of some that might work for you.

Being outside is an escape for me. Any excuse to be out in nature works for me. I love hiking on local trails, poking around in my garden, or sitting on the porch swing.

Running has always been an escape for me. Whenever things became difficult, I went out for a long run. When emotions became too raw, I ran even farther. Running works for me as an escape because the movement and physical escape because the movement and physical demand calm me. Being outside has always comforted me, and if I am angry, I can release that anger on a hill while I mutter and fuss, and no one can hear me except the squirrels.

Books are another escape for me. I love becoming lost in the story. It is an escape for me just being around books. When I walk into a library or bookstore, I can feel my body relax. I think this goes back to my childhood when a trip to the library was such a treat. The library in my town looked like a castle and I found refuge in those nooks and crannies growing up because I was very awkward socially and books were my escape from being different.

Writing allows me to express my emotions when life is overwhelming me. I can lose myself in the words.

Food often makes me feel better because good food is comfort. There is something restorative about cooking and talking and laughing in the kitchen while cooking.

 Here are a few more ideas for healthy escapes.

A great nap.

Music

Camping

Arts and crafts

Video games

Movies

Add whatever lifts you up to the list. Avoid unhealthy escapes like using substances because although you will forget reality for a short time the reality you return to might be tougher than you can handle.

We have all had the mind-numbing days when everything goes wrong and we begin to think it might be safer to go home and hide under the covers until the day is over. We often cannot control the events in our lives but there are some strategies that can help ensure that you never have a bad day again. All it takes is a little strategy and you can control what your day is like.

1. You have to have an attitude.

Your attitude can change anything. We have all heard the statement that the important thing is not what happens to you but how you react to the situation. You have the power to choose how you will react to anything. You can appear defeated and have a pity party for yourself or you can find a way to change what happens into a positive. I once woke up to find that my dog had destroyed the upstairs of our house. My husband was traveling and I only had a short period of time to help a four-year-old and two teenagers get ready for school and I had to dress for work. There was no question of time to clean up the mess and I was going to be in class and meetings all day so I was not sure when I could clean up. When I first saw the mess, my children were all ready for an explosion from me, but I merely said calmly “I’m not sure when I can clean this.” I took my four-year-old to daycare and when I returned, the two older children had skipped breakfast to clean up for me. It left me with a positive feeling the rest of the day and it showed me once again that a negative can lead to a positive. When something bad happens, take a deep breath before you react and think about the possibilities. Is there something that you can do to turn the negative around into something good?

2. Don’t make it all about you.

The second way to vanquish a bad day is to turn your focus away from yourself and to be someone else’s strength. There is always someone else that has bigger problems than you. When you start to realize this, you will become more grateful for the good things in your life. Put your problems aside and see if you can help another person. This help does not have to cost you anything or take a huge amount of time. Sometimes a few kind words or a simple smile can do amazing things to brighten someone’s day. Put your problems into perspective and realize that your blessings probably outweigh your problems.

3. Throw out the trash

In case your problems do outweigh your blessings, it’s time to fix what’s broken. Sit down and make a list of what you want from life. Do not put any restrictions on it. Do not say, “Well, I would like this, but that is not possible.” Write down everything you want. Now devise a plan for how you are going to make it happen. Anything is possible, but we are often the ones holding ourselves back because of fear. You’ll never know what the answer to what if is if you do not try. Take some risks and reconfigure your life the way you want it. Reread that sentence again and emphasize the way you want it. Do not change it for your husband or your friends or your children, change it for your happiness. The chances are you will be a better mother, friend, lover, wife when your happiness becomes a priority.

4. Be kind to yourself

Another way to banish bad days is to practice positive self-talk. Listen to the way your internal voice sounds. Most women have many more negative thoughts than positive ones. We tend to beat ourselves up pretty badly. Sentences like “I can’t believe I did that, I am such an idiot.” “I hope I don’t mess this up.” are common sentences for a woman. Take note first of how you talk to yourself and then change every negative to a positive.

5. Find the humor

A sense of humor can save almost every situation. If you can laugh at something it seems to diminish the severity of the moment. Stay calm in a bad situation and if other people are involved lighten the situation for them with some humor. Laugh often.

6. Get some sleep.

Everything seems better when you are rested and lack of sleep can cause all sorts of problems including an inability to concentrate and an increase in your stress.

7. Get moving

Exercise is a great way to leave your problems behind. Do something you enjoy and let anything that is bothering you fall off your shoulders.

8. Call a friend

A friend can lighten our mood in a second. Our friends tend to put things in perspective and make us laugh and laughter can turn any mood around.

9. Treat yourself

On those days when nothing seems to be going our way, pick something you love to do and go do it. It doesn’t have to be anything that costs money just something that will raise your mood.

10. Don’t whine

Talking too much about the negative makes it worse. Put it behind you and hope for a better day tomorrow.

When my children were little we started putting spare change in a mason jar that we called the money jar. I wanted to teach my children that small amounts of money would add up to big savings if they continually put money aside. Even as adults now, they love to go put the coins in the coin sorter at the grocery store and guess how much is in the money jar.

The money jar has paid for some extras for vacation, it has helped with an extra bill, and it has been given as birthday or Christmas money from time to time. We have always used the money for our needs until my cousin told me about the author, Jason F. Wright and his book, The Christmas Jar.

Mr. Wright takes a jar like ours, fills it with spare money throughout the year and on Christmas he gives it to a family who could use some extra money. I think this is an amazing idea, and I am going to start our own Christmas jar, but what if you took it a step further and donated money from the jar several times a year. On birthdays, you could ask for donations for the jar instead of presents, if you do any fundraisers for your church you could have the jar out for donations.

Christmas is a time when we tend to notice need more, and people are more willing to open their hearts and their wallets, but what if we can find more ways like the money jar to help people all throughout the year?