I was an educator for forty years and a teacher mentor. One of the things I had to do was to teach students and teachers how to balance their time to be the most productive with the least amount of stress. Here are some ideas on how to do this.

Do you find yourself stressed most of the time, trying to fill as much as possible into your day, and then feeling frustrated because you didn’t accomplish everything on your list? Most of us are frazzled, doing too much too quickly and we cannot find a way to do it any differently. There are so many things to do and only so much time to do it. When we complain about it, we are told to let something go, to rest more, but that often seems impossible. Recently, I heard a suggestion that made sense to me. The suggestion was to create margin in your life.

When you think about the word margin you imagine the blank space on the side of a page where you can write in explanations or reflections. It is the spot for extra thought and personal additions. It is room to make more. What if we made margin in our lives by creating some blank space and time where we had some room to breathe? We seem to always be so intent on filling in every waking moment with as much activity as possible but with margin, you can have some time to catch up on a neglected task or merely do nothing but destress. Let me show you how creating margin, the unfilled space can make you both healthier and more productive.

Managing time with margin

Have you ever been in a situation where every minute of your day is scheduled, and you are like a hamster on the wheel wildly trying to keep up with completing your tasks? You are already behind, you have to have a presentation done in five minutes and of course, your computer shuts down and will not restart. Your stress level rises and panic sets in. What if you had given yourself some margin, some space in case something did not go according to plan? Instead of planning everything back-to-back, give yourself ten minutes in between commitments. If you finish early, you have space to start on something else or to take a few minutes to regroup.

Using margin for time outs

When you start to create margin, you will find that you have some time to refocus and organize. When we have time to focus, reflect and reorganize we can be more productive with our next task.  You will not feel frazzled and on edge because you were able to prepare calmly. Sometimes all you need is a few more minutes to breathe. Schedule that time into your day when you can catch up.   

Create a routine

Mornings are typically the most stressful times so do what you can to make them easier by organizing everything you need the night before. Choose the clothes you will wear, put anything that needs to come in with you near the door, and do any meal and snack preparation. Whatever you need to accomplish in the morning, make it a routine that you can do without even thinking. Consider waking up earlier to give yourself margin to ease into the morning.

Limit screen time

It is easy to be obsessed with checking our e-mail or social media or taking a break to look at YouTube videos, but these are all time eaters. Put a limit on how often you check your screens and stick to it. You may have to silence your phone or put it somewhere else so that you cannot hear notifications.

Say no

Do you feel guilty when you say no to something even though you know you do not have the time or energy to complete it well? If we are pulled in a million different directions, we will end up not doing any of our tasks professionally. Focus on the most important responsibilities and look at saying no as protecting the integrity of the task because it should be done by someone who has the time and ability. You deserve to live a life of quality which includes having time to relax and renew. If you never say no, there will never be any time for yourself.

Keep a calendar

Write down all your appointments, meetings, and tasks. If you do that then you will not be stressed by wondering if you are forgetting something.

Schedule the day

You do not have to schedule every minute because we all know that the minute a plan is in place, the disruptions will happen. Schedule the basics of your day.

Give yourself some margin in your life and I guarantee you will see a difference. Last year I made the decision to become part-time at school because I was frazzled and unhappy. I needed some margin to write and pursue other passions. I feel as if I am in better health, I am happier, and stress is not part of my life. My daughter told me that I am a completely different person. Margin has worked for me, and I think it can work for you.

The definition of a conversation is a talk between two or more people in which ideas or news are exchanged. The problem is that our interactions often are more one-sided with one person talking about himself or interrupting to interject with a personal anecdote. We are often distracted because of the many things we need to do, so instead of focusing on what someone is saying we are checking our phones or trying to finish one more e-mail.

Conversations are a form of communication and when we are not focusing on the people involved there can be negative consequences. When we are not focusing on the person talking to us, we send the message that the person is not valued. When we constantly interrupt others, finish their sentences, or make the conversation completely about us, we are not hearing the other person and we are focused only on ourselves. Perhaps the most important issue is we are not communicating fully, and we could be missing important information.

I ran a mentor program at our school and to do that, I did extensive research on how to communicate well because I wanted the teachers to feel heard and valued. Here are a few ideas that I learned about how to have a good conversation with someone.

Focus completely on the person who is speaking with you. Make eye contact and turn your body towards the person. Have you ever been talking to someone, and the person turns slightly towards the door and begins inching towards it? You want to give the impression you are interested in what the person is saying.

Stop what you are doing when someone is speaking to you. Turn your phone over and listen.

Be empathetic and ask questions for understanding. You can often walk someone to his or her own solution by asking questions.

Don’t interrupt. Let the person finish a sentence and let a few seconds of silence hang in the air before you say anything. Do not finish a sentence with what you think someone will say.

If you do not have time to talk, set a time when you do. Let the person know the conversation is important to you.

Everyone needs a chance to tell his story. Be a good listener and you should have your chance too.

When you can speak to someone in person, do that instead of texting.

I hope this helps, and I hope there are many great conversations in your future. Just remember that a conversation takes two!

Every day we have a choice of how we will greet the day. We can choose to have a negative attitude and see everything as a burden, or we can have a grateful attitude and see what we have as blessings. What if the attitude we choose affected our health?

The article, How Do Thoughts and Emotions Affect Health? from the University of Minnesota states that negative emotions can zap mental energy, negatively affect the body, and lead to health problems. They can create stress which can decrease our lifespan.  

Dr. Barbara Fredrickson is a scientist who has spent years researching and publishing the physical and emotional benefits of positivity. The benefits include faster recovery, better sleep, fewer colds, and a sense of overall happiness.

Fredrickson says that we have to be intentional about making our thoughts positive because it is often more common to see things negatively. She suggests working on turning negative thoughts to positive ones.

The Power of Positive Thinking from John Hopkins Medicine says there is definitely a strong link between “positivity” and health. A positive attitude can improve the outcome of numerous conditions.

Here are a few ways you can improve your attitude of gratitude.

Smile more. A study from the University of Kansas found that smiling reduces heart rate and blood pressure in stressful situations.

Find the good in the bad.  Pull the positives out of the negatives.

Find solutions for problems instead of being weighed down by them.

Talk to yourself like you would talk to your best friend, so no disparaging remarks, only supportive comments.

Surround yourself with positive people because positivity is contagious.

Do you feel as if no one cares about you, or that you don’t have a connection with others, and that no one gets you? Have you lost a loved one, or moved away from friends and family? All of these can lead to loneliness.

If you often feel lonely, you are not alone. The Foundation of Art and Healing has a project called Project Unlonely. The research states that loneliness affects more than one-third of American adults. We have become a super-connected society through technology, but at the same time, we are terribly disconnected when it comes to quality relationships.

These findings matter because research shows that loneliness can negatively affect our mental and physical health. The fact sheet for the foundation states that health risks associated with loneliness and social isolation are compared to the dangers of smoking and obesity, increasing mortality risk by up to 30%. Loneliness can increase depression and fatigue.

John Cacioppo, a University of Chicago psychologist says, “Loneliness is an aversive signal, much like thirst, hunger, or pain.” Professor Cacioppo has done research that shows that loneliness can raise stress hormones and blood pressure, and it has an effect on blood flow to vital organs. It can also impair the immune system’s ability to fight infections.

Knowing that loneliness is unhealthy for us, what are some ways we can fight it? Here are a few suggestions.

Decrease your time on social media if you find yourself comparing yourself to others or feeling alienated.

Find a community that accepts you just the way you are. You can do that by joining clubs for interests you have, reaching out to people who also might be lonely, and participating in community events. I go to running races almost every weekend, and I have found that the running community is incredibly welcoming and supportive.

Step out of your comfort zone and be open about talking to other people. You might be the connection that someone has been looking for. Make eye contact and make a simple comment or question to start the conversation.

Make an effort to reach out to the contacts you have. Tell them you were thinking of them and wanted to see how they were doing. You may make a reconnection.

Animals make wonderful friends and they don’t judge you.

If your depression worsens reach out to an expert for help.

I love dogs and have had a variety of breeds during my life. Each time I have a new breed of dog, I research characteristics so that I can create a good home for him or her. I am fascinated by the strong tendencies of each type of dog, but I also find that dogs are not that different from us. They love good food, naps in the sun, and they crave attention. Many of them also have a variety of forms of anxiety. I would like to give you some examples of the anxiety I have seen and offer some ideas on how to help your dog with it.

The first time I had a dog with anxiety was our dog, Leo. Leo was a Collie and German shepherd mix. He was a shelter dog and when we took him to the vet to make sure he was o.k. physically, the vet told us it was obvious that Leo had been abused because he would drop his head down each time you approached him. We tried to help him through the anxiety he must have felt from the abuse by showering him with love, and after a year, we were gifted with a happy dog who approached everyone with his head up and his tail wagging.

Leo was also terrified of storms. We left our two dogs in a covered outside pen while we were at work, and the first time it stormed, we came home to find both dogs on the porch, and a bent, twisted door to the pen. He would also try to wedge his 90-pound body under the couch any time it thundered. If your dog has anxiety like this there are several options. There are natural calming treats and there is something called the Thunder vest, which is a jacket that exerts a constant, gentle pressure that has a calming effect.

Most dogs are calmer when they have consistent household routines. They want to know what is expected of them and when it is going to happen.

Our neighbor is a dog trainer and when we got a four-month-old Border Collie, she told me to introduce him to a lot of different situations, things, and people because they have a tendency to become skittish and anxious about things they don’t recognize. Our dog was terrified of the garbage cans on the street, and he would run and hide if I pulled out the vacuum cleaner or my guitar. (The guitar might have been because of my singing!) He has gradually become less afraid and now he follows me around while I vacuum.

If you have to leave your dog during the day, create a nice comfortable space with chews, toys, and puzzles. The dog’s crate will become a safe zone for them, and many owners find that the dogs go in just to have some quiet time.

Our dog trainer also encourages us to talk to our dog like we would any member of the family. They can learn words and commands and when they are surer of what we expect, they will be less anxious.

When our dog Bandit came to us at four months old, he frequently had a look that I would look as manic. He wanted so badly to please and know what task we wanted him to do. I was exhausted at first because he was so high energy and anxious. As we have given him tricks to learn and he has figured out his spot in the family he has become so much calmer.

Ask the experts to help with your dog’s anxiety. Ask a vet or a dog trainer for advice. I hope this has helped and that you can control the anxiety for both your dog and yourself.

A beginner’s guide to gardening

My parents had massive vegetable gardens and several flower beds. We had fresh vegetables all summer, and then my mom would can food to feed us through the winter and defray the grocery costs. Several years ago, I became fascinated with gardening myself. I started off slowly with easy to grow vegetables like green beans and lettuce because I was afraid the only thing I wouldn’t kill was kudzu. (If you are not from Georgia, Kudzu is a plant that takes over everything around it.) I then began to learn by experimenting and through trial and error. I listened to other gardeners, joined a Facebook gardening page, and began to read about how to manage a garden.

I soon became fascinated with gardening. Not only is it fun to watch how nature grows and flourishes, I love being able to eat fresh, chemical-free food that I grew myself. Although there are a few basic rules for the garden, you can experiment, and be creative. Gardening is a great form of exercise, and it is a stress reliever. I talk to the plants as if I’m their cheerleader, I sing out there, and I plan about what else I want to try.

I know some people are afraid to start a garden because they don’t feel they know enough to be successful, so I would like to offer this very basic guide to help you start. I guarantee you will love it. Don’t be afraid if something doesn’t work perfectly or doesn’t grow at all. Keep trying and you will succeed. I struggled the first few years trying to grow corn. Each year, right before it was ready to harvest, the deer would get to it before me. My husband built me an enclosed garden after the third year which helped.  

Before you plant anything, answer the following questions, and consider my suggestions.

What kind of space do you have for a garden?

If you have a huge back yard, choose a space that receives a lot of sun. It’s o.k. if that isn’t possible, it just means your produce might be smaller. Don’t let a smaller space keep you from having a garden. Be creative with using containers. One idea is using a child’s pool as a planter. If that is too big, you can find smaller ones anywhere that garden supplies are sold.

What type of vegetables do you want to grow?

I would encourage you to include green beans on your list because they are very easy to grow, so if something else doesn’t work, you can say, “Look at these beautiful green beans!” If you grow peas and cucumbers, put something near them that they can climb up and you will have more produce. Give cucumbers some room because they tend to keep traveling. The same is true of squash and zucchini. They need to spread out. Lettuce, spinach, kale, and carrots are easy to grow, and if you live in a warm weather climate like I do, you can grow them through the winter.

Do you have a plan for what you want to plant where?

It’s a good idea to have a plan of where you want to put things before you start planting. When you do start planting, mark what you have put where. My husband made me wooden stakes that I could write on with marker, but there are plenty of options to use.

When will you start to plant?

The general rule is that you can start to plant after the last frost, but as I mentioned earlier there are some vegetables that can survive in cold weather. You can also help your garden survive longer by covering plants during frosts. My cherry tomato plant survived into winter until we had an ice storm. I have had lettuce, kale, spinach, and carrots all winter.

What will you use for soil and weed protection?

You need to have good soil and all garden centers will have what you need. When plants come up, add some mulch to keep the weeds away. Weeds steal important nutrients from your plants, so keep the garden weed free.

Are you starting a flower garden?

You can be so creative with flowers. You can make window boxes, use containers, or plant a flower bed. We were watching a show called Escape to The Château, and the owner walked around the grounds sprinkling wildflowers everywhere. They ended up with a beautiful field of colorful flowers. I am going to experiment by planting seeds around the borders of our backyard. I have quite a variety of seeds, so we will see how it works out.

What tools will you use?

If you are using planting beds, all you have to do if fill them with soil and rake it to make it even. If you are starting a garden plot, you will need a tiller, and I think you can rent them. You need gardening gloves, and even when you wear gloves, wash your hands well when you are finished. I use a trowel often. You may want to have something to kneel on as well. If it does not rain for a while, you will need a sprinkler or a hose to water the garden.

What extras will make your garden special?

I like garden decorations, so we have some signs, a sun, a rose, and an angel. I love having windchimes as well.

Consider starting with plants or inside

If you don’t want to wait for seeds, you can buy plants, or start seeds inside in containers.

Talk to the experts

If you have questions, ask the experts at the gardening center, join social media groups, or ask neighbors who have a garden that is flourishing.

Have fun

Remember that nothing has to be perfect. Have fun with it, experiment, and learn, but no matter what, take the first step and start.

On a regular day, we interact with all kinds of personalities, we solve problems, we are creative and innovative and by the end of the day, it can sometimes feel as if we have been through a battle. There has to be some time to recover both physically and mentally from our daily struggle.

I love being around people and as a teacher, I am often surrounded by a certain amount of chaos. I spend the day hearing my name called a million times and I love it, but when I come home, I need some quiet. I love the peacefulness when there is no noise, no one who needs me, and no need to speak.

We need quiet time to process everything we have experienced during the day. One of my favorite ways to renew is to go out on our porch and listen to the sounds of the neighborhood. It is a time when I don’t have to answer a question or solve a problem. I can renew in other ways as well whether I take a walk, read, write, cook, or do something else that is soothing. When I make this renewal a regular practice, it changes my attitude towards everything else I do.

Being in nature can be restorative. I love being outside because it always seems to energize and calm me at the same time. It is difficult to feel anxious when we are surrounded by such beauty. Taking a walk or a bike ride or sitting outside will lift your spirits.

Reduce the stimulation around you for at least thirty minutes each day. Put your phone away, turn off any other technology and give yourself some time to disconnect from technology and reconnect with yourself.

On the occasional bad day, we all need some time to recover from mistakes we made or unkind words that may have been said. Use positive self-talk, give yourself some grace, learn from any mistakes, and apologize when it is necessary.

We also need to take time to heal our souls. Life can become so busy that we forget how important it is to grow spiritually. We need time to read the Bible, worship, and pray.

Music can be a great way to heal. Find your favorite music and relax and listen. On a recent trip with two friends, we listened to the music we had grown up with and swapped funny stories from our childhood.

Reading is another way to destress. I can become completely lost in a story and forget about time as I follow the characters through the plot. I can leave my reality for a short time and immerse myself in someone else’s adventure.

Spending time with animals has always been a great way to decompress for me. Animals love you completely and they crave spending time with you. Our next-door neighbor has a dog that acts as if he is over the moon to see you to the point that he will start to howl, and even though I know he acts that way to almost everyone, it still lifts my spirits.

Cooking has always been a way to relax for me even though I am not a very good cook. There is something comforting about being in the kitchen where we produce and consume the food we need to survive. Have you ever noticed that when you have guests over, everyone gravitates to the kitchen?

Sometimes the best answer to being worn out mentally and physically is to curl up and catch up on sleep. A good nap on a rainy day can make you forget any troubles you may have.

Practicing gratitude is an important exercise in healing. List all the things you are thankful for, and any problems you encountered during the day start to fade away. Realizing all of your blessings instead of focusing on burdens will make you feel better.

My friends will not think I wrote this unless I mention that running for me is the ultimate escape. When I am running, I feel such a sense of peace, as if any stress is just falling off behind me. I can work out problems, generate ideas or simply listen to music. Running is what I turn to first when my emotions are out of balance. If running is not your sport, choose anything that is an active activity.

Find the activities that you need that will help you relax, reflect, and renew. It does not matter what the activity is if it is one that will help you when you take time to heal.

     My husband has just expressed his concern again for the fact that I am dead tired, trying to fit in a power nap so I can rush off to my next responsibility. He is telling me I need to slow down for my health, and I know he is right, but my personality seems to be wired for this. There are a million things I want to do, and not enough time to do them all. My husband tells me I should let some things go, which sounds like a very sensible solution, but I would not know which to discontinue. Most of my life I have been moving too fast and trying to do too many things at once. I knew I had a problem when I had a small skin cancer removed, and the doctor said I should rest for the remainder of the day. I lay down on the couch to watch television, and as my older children came into the room, they both asked, “Mom, are you sick?” They were so unaccustomed to me lying down and relaxing, they thought I must be ill.

     Since my youngest was born, she has helped me to slow down and realize what my priorities should be, and although I still want to do everything, and push myself too hard, I know that slowing down can be a positive thing. It is healthier to go slower for many reasons, and I have made several changes in my life to take things at a slower pace. I will share these ideas with you.

     When co-workers or friends or family members want to talk with you, put down the phone, and stop typing e-mail. Make eye contact and fully listen to what they have to say. Relationships in life are more important than anything else we do, and we need to cultivate them.

Whatever you are doing, and wherever you are, be there completely, and don’t lose your focus by thinking about the next task or activity before you get to it. Fully enjoy each moment of your day.

     Imagine that you are at the checkout line with a cart full of groceries, and the person behind you has a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter. Let that person go in front of you and assure them you are in no rush.

     I know what it feels like when you are already late for work, and as you turn onto the highway you realize the traffic is almost at a standstill. Letting your stress go through the roof is not going to help you get to work faster. Relax and even let some people into traffic from their side streets. Listen to some great music, and work through your day in your head.

     Take some time every day to show the ones you love that you care. Your work will be waiting when you are done. When my youngest comes into my office, I stop what I am doing even if I have a million things to do. She is going to be out on her own before I know it, so other things can wait while I enjoy my time with her.

     I can feel guilty that I am doing too much, and guilty about not doing enough, but I do know it is a useless emotion. Throw it out with the garbage. Slowness is not always easy for those of us who are driven, but I am trying to embrace the positive aspects of slowing down a bit to enjoy the ride.

Here are some ideas of activities to enjoy when you slow down. Sit somewhere comfortable, close your eyes, breathe deeply, and imagine an ideal scene for you. Visualize something wonderful you want to happen. See it happening and believe it can happen.                                

• Pick up a great book and leave the world behind for a while as you explore a fantasy world or learn something new.
• Go down the numbers on your cell phone, and call some friends you have not spoken to in a while. Send out some long overdue e-mails. Get together with some friends to share some stories and laughter.                          
• Take a nap or sleep a little later in the morning. Stretch out the length of the bed like the cat.
• Watch something that does not require any mental activity. Unfortunately, you will not have any problem finding something.
• Sit on a porch, put your feet up on the railing, and watch the world go by.
• Take a Bath                        
• Close the bathroom door and slip into a hot bath as your troubles melt away.
• Put on your favorite songs, and really listen to them.
• Play with a child
• Learn from a cat because my cat knows how to relax. He eats at a leisurely pace, takes a bath, and can enjoy one of his frequent naps anywhere.
• Cook for pleasure. By this, I mean cook because you want to not because you have to. Cooking can be extremely relaxing.
• Make a not to do list. Occasionally make a list of tasks you can eliminate, or that someone else can do for you.

     Find an activity that makes you happy and feel the sense of relaxation wash over you. I hope you enjoyed my list, and that you can add to it. I am going to curl up in the sun next to my cat and my children and try to learn some more of their secrets for relaxation. Remember, do not get so caught up in the doing, that you forget the being.

Silence can be such a blessing sometimes. When there is silence, I hear the most. I can listen to all the thoughts swirling around in my head, and It is easier to reflect, and problem solve. Silence brings a feeling of peace because, in that silence, it is possible simply to be present. I love sitting on my front porch in the early morning before everyone begins to stir. It is a calm peaceful way to start the day, as I observe everything around me while being still.

Silence can also be golden when it comes to our conversations. I always tell my students that if they are talking while I’m teaching, they are not learning. The same is true when we are conversing. We often are focusing on when we can interject our next point instead of really listening to what the other person is trying to say. I have a colleague who used to comment that I was quiet in meetings. She asked why I wasn’t more vocal, but what she did not understand was I was listening. I have never felt the need to speak only so I can hear my own voice, or to make my presence known. Sometimes the only way to truly learn, and to hear what is important, is to be silent.  

Being silent can help you find out important details about family, friends, and colleagues.  Instead of replying immediately when someone makes a statement, be silent. The other person will fill the space with more information. You need to have the patience to wait instead of interjecting.

Being comfortable in silence is a sign of a strong relationship. When I am around my best friend we usually cannot stop talking, but there are also moments of comfortable silence. I love being around friends and family, and when conversation wanes, I am ok just having them with me.

Most runners run while listening to music, but I have always preferred to run with just the sounds around me. When everything is silent, I can recharge because all the noise that we are bombarded with all day can be tiring. There is a moment in every race where the runners have spread out in their pace groups, and it becomes quiet as everyone is focused on making it to the end.

Have you ever been the last one up at night? I like to sit and listen to the stillness of the household. There is something comforting about knowing that the people I love are comfortable and safe in their beds.

Silence has also been shown to offer health benefits that boost overall well-being. Silence helps lower blood pressure, which can help prevent heart attack, and boost the body’s immune system. Noise has a physical effect on the brain, which can lead to elevated levels of stress hormones. Silence can release tension in the brain in just 2 minutes.  Mindfulness is a word we hear related to good health, and it is achieved through silence.

We need silence to hear God. We are bombarded by so much noise, clutter, and so many messages, but the only voice we really need to hear is God’s, and we can only hear him when we block out all the other distractions. Once we can do that, we can listen to what he wants us to hear. Sometimes he sends us his message through others, so we need to be listening for those messages as well.

In an age where noise is the norm, choose to carve out some quiet time every day to be still. Notice that it will relieve your anxiety, help with productivity, and strengthen your relationship with God and others. Silence is powerful.

Family fun does not have to empty the wallet. With a little creativity, every family can have a great time and not spend a penny. Here are some ideas.

1. Go for a hike. Head for the hills or a local park and have some exercise together while enjoying your surroundings. Bring a snack and take a break to enjoy the view and the great company.
2. Go to the beach. Does your town have a local lake? Bring some beach toys, spread out the blanket, and enjoy the water and sand. Enjoy water sports.
3. Volunteer to help local community organizations. Go to the pound and play with puppies or to the retirement community to sit and talk with the elderly. You will feel good about helping others and you will have plenty to talk about and share when you are done.
4. Check the local paper for free cultural events. You can find craft fairs or concerts or art exhibits that are free to the public.
5. Have a picnic. You can travel to an appropriate spot or just go into the backyard. Spread out the blanket and enjoy some good food and each other’s company.
6. Watch a t.v. movie at home. Make a huge bowl of popcorn and get comfy in the living room.
7. Play a board game. Pull out some board games and enjoy a night of laughter and strategy together.
8. Go to community celebrations. Most small towns have a town celebration which offers fun activities for the whole family. Enjoy local food, face painting, and performances.
9. Show an outdoor movie and invite the neighborhood. If you can find the equipment, hang up a sheet as a screen and invite several families over to watch it with you.
10. Go to a parade. Check local listings for holiday parades. Bring some lawn chairs and enjoy the event.
11. Have a pot-luck barbecue. Invite other families and ask everyone to bring a dish and a beverage.
12. Go to local sporting events. Go watch the recreational teams compete. They will enjoy the extra spectators and you can watch a great sporting event.
13. Do a sport together. Kick a soccer ball around, go swimming, play catch, and just enjoy being together.
14. Cook together. Find some new recipes that you want to try out and make an elaborate dinner together. 
15. Have dinner together. Turn off the television and remove any other distractions and just enjoy each other. You will be surprised how much you will find out about your family when you just sit and listen.