There are ghoulish tales told around a campfire, but the stories about real-life encounters with ghosts can be just as scary. Here are a few encounters from different places where I lived.

The neighborhood I live in now was a camp during the Civil War. Most of the people in the neighborhood have at least one story about odd happenings to tell. A psychic told me that there are ghosts coming and going all the time in my house. I have heard voices when I know that no one else is home. Lights and the television sometimes turn on or off, and the last dog we had would lie on my bed, staring at space, and growl. One of our cats often stares at the pantry as if something is there. The only scary thing I have had happen in this house is when I woke up one night and couldn’t move for a minute. I felt as if my body was frozen in place, and then I was fine. It was a very strange feeling. We once had someone spend the night to dog sit, and he told us he did not sleep at all because he heard noises all night.

Our neighbors across the street have the most stories to tell. When Paul and Beth were looking at the house, the owners explained one of the pictures to them. Tricia told Paul it was a picture of her uncle who was a soldier. Paul was walking by the picture when it slammed down. Paul picked it up and turned away and the photo slammed down again. When they were moving in, the television turned on, so Paul turned it off, but it turned on again. He unplugged it and told Beth if it turned on now, they were leaving. My daughter recently slept there to babysit the dog, and the next day, she said, “Mom, there were weird noises all night!” I said, “Oh, I forgot to tell you the house is haunted.”

The most haunted house I ever lived in was in North Georgia in the Appalachian Mountains. I worked at a boarding school where the teacher’s housing were former farmers’ houses. In one house, there was an upstairs apartment where my daughter Jess stayed. She didn’t spend any more time than she needed to up there because she said the ghost didn’t want her there. There was an eerie feeling up there. When I had to go up to clean, I used to say, “I’m sorry to disturb you. I’m only going to clean, and then I’ll leave. There were a series of cupboard doors near the floor, and one night when Jess had a friend over, the doors all opened. One morning, I had gotten up and as I walked to the stairs leading to Jessica’s room, I saw the light on, suddenly, there was a loud bang on the floor as if someone had jumped, so I thought Jess was practicing a dance routine. When I went in to wake up her brother, Jess was asleep on his floor. I said, “Jess, did you just come back down from your room?” She said, “No, I slept here all night.” “Did you leave your light on?” “No.”

My colleague’s house was even more haunted. The third floor was so bad that they boarded it up. One day, her daughter came home from school and heard people talking in the kitchen. Sara yelled, “Mom, I’m home.” The talking stopped and when Sara walked into the kitchen, no one was there.

My oldest sister had a strange incident in her house. Her husband of thirty years had recently told her that he wanted a divorce, and he had never loved her. (There was a younger woman) My mother had passed the year before. She loved my brother-in-law like a son, and the divorce would have devastated her. My sister was folding some clothes. Several were my mother’s blouses. She picked up one and there was a large blood stain over the heart. She thought maybe her husband had cut his hand and then touched the blouse, but he said he had not gone near the clothes. The same day, I noticed the glass on a picture of my sister had broken in half, and there were water marks that looked like tears.

At my sister’s funeral, one of her friends came over to me and said, “I went over to Pat’s house and took a picture. When I looked at it later, I saw this in the window. When you expand the photo, it looks like a picture of my sister before she became ill.

Have you had any strange experiences in your house?

I never thought much about the expression pennies from heaven, until I read a book about the signs that our departed loved ones leave for us. The book claimed that loved ones left pennies for us to find to let us know we are loved. After reading this I suddenly started to notice pennies in odd places. I picked one up and saw the date was the year my sister was born. I later read that the pennies sometimes had a significant date on them so you would know who it is from. The reason that pennies are the coin used is that they are light and easy to move. I researched to find out if there were other beliefs about the pennies.

Some people believe the pennies are from God.

Here is a story that can often be found on the internet.

A woman asked a man why he stooped to pick up a dirty penny on the ground. A smile crept across the man’s face as he reached into his pocket for the penny and held it out for her to see.

‘Look at it.’ He said. ‘Read what it says.’ 
She read the words ‘United States of America ‘
‘No, not that; read further.
‘One cent?’ 
‘No, keep reading.’
‘In God We Trust?’ 
‘Yes!’ 
‘And?’

‘And if I trust in God, the name of God is holy, even on a coin. Whenever I find a coin, I see that inscription. It is written on every single United States coin, but we never seem to notice it! God drops a message right in front of me telling me to trust Him? Who am I to pass it by? When I see a coin, I pray, I stop to see if my trust IS in God at that moment. I pick the coin up as a response to God; that I do trust in Him. For a short time, at least, I cherish it as if it were gold. I think it is God’s way of starting a conversation with me. Lucky for me, God is patient and pennies are plentiful! 

Pennies have the numerology value of 1, so they are a reminder that we are all one. They can represent God, creation, and new beginnings.

Pennies can represent unexpected good fortune.

If we see pennies on the ground, it can comfort us to believe they are from loved ones. They are sometimes found in odd spots like on a pillow.

There are some things we did growing up that were fun at the time but might not have been the smartest things to do. I waited until I was thirty to reveal most of them to my mom. Here are a few of mine.

I grew up in front of woods where there was an old, collapsed Indian cave on one side, and the ski jump for the Eastern Junior Olympic ski jumps was on the other. I spent so many hours playing near the Indian cave, and there was a creek that ran by in front of it. It was the perfect place to put your feet in the heat of summer. Unfortunately, a lot of large snakes thought it was a perfect place too. I think they were king snakes, and I learned quickly that if I kept my distance, they would not bother me. I knew my mother would be upset, so I never mentioned that detail.

My friends and I would go to the other side of the woods and slide down the ski jump hill. If you have ever watched ski jumping, you can probably guess that sledding down one on metal is not a good idea.

When I went to study in France, everyone told us it was safe to hitchhike, so my friend and I decided we would save some money and hitchhike back from our vacation. We were picked up by a man who tried to kidnap us. When he pulled over on the road and turned around, he said, “Well, now my friends.” The doors were rigged to not open, so my friend rolled down the window and jumped out. The man started to drive away, but I was able to jump out of the window in time. We started moving down the road, and luckily, a man had seen the headlights go out, and came to see what happened. He drove us back into the city. When I returned to my host family’s home, and I told my host mom what had happened, she was furious, and said, “What would I tell your mom if something had happened?” I learned a lesson from that experience.

What are some of the things that you did growing up that were not the best plans?

I know so many people who are striving for perfection. They are desperate for people to see them as living the ideal life when the fact is that living a life behind a mask is exhausting to do.

I don’t think I ever portrayed a glimmer of perfection, but I spent too much of my time worrying about what others thought of me. I realized that what really mattered was if my loved ones and myself were doing our bests to be good people and if we were happy. I finally realized that I wasn’t going to worry about judgment anymore as my daughter Kait and I were on our way to a school awards ceremony. My husband was away on business and Kait was going to receive an award, so I asked her brother and sister to come to show family support. As Kait and I were driving there, she said, “I wonder what they will wear.” She was talking about her brother, sister, and her brother’s girlfriend. None of them dressed conservatively and Kait was worried about the impression they would make on her teachers and classmates. I decided that this could be a teachable moment, so I said, “You know what Kait? I don’t care what anyone else thinks of our family. I know we are far from perfect, but I love my children and I am going to thank them all for coming no matter what they are wearing. I have to take the theme of imperfection one step further and tell you that I was asking myself the same question that Kait was before I decided to let go of the need for approval.

It is liberating when you can admit your weaknesses, and it is fun to see how many people you can help when you share some of your struggles. When I told the story of that night, several women opened up about issues that they had in their families and how they were afraid of being judged because of them.

I would rather have friends who accept me for who I am, than someone who wants me to pretend to be someone else. Being authentic often makes others feel more comfortable to be around you.

Have you ever dreamt about a deceased family member appearing and giving you a message? Many years ago, my cousin was in an abusive relationship. When she broke it off with him, he killed both her and him. My sister and my cousin were very close, and they even looked identical. We were all devastated by what happened, and my sister was blaming herself, saying she should have told her to leave him sooner or protect herself. Several days after my cousin died, my sister was at work and she felt an overwhelming wave of fatigue. She put her head on her arms on the desk, and before she fell asleep, she said she felt someone put a hand on her head. As she was sleeping, she saw her cousin standing in front of her. She was smiling as she told my sister that what happened wasn’t her fault, and she was o.k. where she was. She told her to remember all the fun they had together instead of mourning her. When she told us the story, she said it was odd because she had never fallen asleep at her desk before.

Last night, I had a dream where my godfather Jimmie visited me. In the dream, I had missed his funeral and I was very upset. I was in a building where I worked, but it didn’t look like any place I had ever worked. I went out to the parking lot, and my godfather Jimmie was standing there waiting for me. My godparents were wonderful. They were kind and funny, and they were always so loving toward me. Jimmy was smiling at me, and he said, “It’s going to be o.k. Jen. You have some good times coming.” I should add that I went to bed having a small pity party because my whole body decided to have issues at once, and there have been lots of doctor’s visits. Uncle Jimmie hugged me, I looked down at my phone and he was gone. When I woke up, I felt like I had been wrapped up in love.

Dr. Alejandra Vasquez says the following in her article, What to Do When Deceased Loved Ones Visit in Your Dreams, “Visitation dreams are known to help you cope with your grief, loss, and sorrow. They are dreams of a deceased loved one that is so vivid that you confuse them for a visit from their ghost or spirit. Science has yet to quantify these dreams and attributes them to issues related to brain chemistry and derailed sleep cycles.

Because science has no explanation, and religious and spiritual texts only refer to them in unverifiable parables, the medical community has not taken these types of dreams seriously. Medicine generally discounts these types of ideas, and the industry leaves it up to the parapsychologists and ghost hunters to give them a paranormal meaning.”

Who knows if these are messages from loved ones or only the odd machinations of our minds in sleep, but if it leaves you feeling comforted that may be all that matters.

About a month ago my dog slammed into my leg at full speed on his way to his Frisbee. At first, I only had a nasty bruise and a sore shin, but then my knee started to become sore until I couldn’t run on it anymore. I had a short pity party because running is so important to me, and then I decided I needed an action plan so that I could strengthen my knee and come back stronger.

I started going to the chiropractor

Being adjusted after not having been to a chiropractor since 2013 helped a lot, but not enough to run. I was lucky to find one who is amazing, so I will keep going and hope that it will help.

I began to stretch more

I know how important stretching is, but I need to do more of it. There is an organization called stretch zone that I am going to try.

I focused more on strength training

I want to protect my body from injury, so strengthening my muscles with strength training will help. I am doing the hip machine, the leg press, and the leg extension even on non-weight days. I am doing squats and leg lunges too.

I did exercises to strengthen the muscles around my knees

I started riding my bike outside, but I am riding it slowly, so my legs have to work more. I am doing the elliptical for cardio, and doing wall sits, lunges and squats.

I am using a massage gun and a roller to work out the muscles, and I wrap my knee in either KT tape, an Ace bandage, or a knee sleeve to give it support.

I hear people all the time who say they wish they could become a runner, but they are afraid to start. I wish they knew that running can change both your physical and mental health. Runners are also the least judgmental group of people I know. You can show up at any age, any shape or size, and any fitness level, and you will still be welcomed. If you are ready to start the adventure, here is a basic guide to becoming a runner.

Form

I’m going to tell you about the correct form for a runner and then tell you that you will see many variations of this form, and most of them are o.k.

Run relaxed

Drop your shoulders. Many runners hunch their shoulders when they first start running. It will cause cramping in your shoulders, so focus on relaxing those shoulders.

Keep your elbows tucked into your sides and pretend you are holding eggs in your hand.

Breathe regularly. Runners also hold their breath when they first start to run. Focus on breathing in and out until it feels normal.

Run lightly

When your feet connect with the ground, land softly instead of slamming your feet down each time. You can save energy and I know for myself I have avoided injuries running like this.

Hold your head so that your eyes are looking ten feet ahead. Don’t lean your head forward, and don’t bend your head down unless you are looking at a trail to avoid falling. People often drop their heads when they are tired, and it slows them down.

Body protection

You should do exercises to protect yourself as a runner. All the core exercises are good like sit-ups, planks, push-ups, and bridges. I like to do strength exercises. Stretching is key. Good nutrition is important too. I eat lots of protein and fruits and vegetables. Drink plenty of water. Get enough rest.

Foot protection

If you can afford it, buy a good pair of shoes. Go to a local running store and let them evaluate your running style to fit you for the right shoe. Shoes should be changed out around every three months. If your feet are tired, rub in some peppermint oil and lotion.

Start slowly

If you try to do too much too soon, you will be sore, and you might not want to run again. Don’t increase your mileage by more than 10% per week. You can start off running and walking.

I know talking about your death is not a fun subject, but it is an important one to discuss with your family. I know some people have the attitude of why should you care because you will be dead, but it would be nice to make it easier for your family to settle your affairs in a calm, organized manner. Here are a few things you might want to discuss.

Make a will

You have worked hard for what you have, and you may want certain possessions to go to certain people, or you may wish to donate to a charity. A will makes your wishes clear. It is very easy to make one, and it is not expensive. There are several online sites that will walk you through setting up your will.

Choose an executor

Pick someone to administer the wishes in the will. If you have a family member who might swoop in and loot and pillage, help the executor know what to do to keep that from happening.

State your burial wishes

Do you want to be buried or cremated? Do you want to be buried in a certain place? If you are cremated, what do you want your family to do with the ashes?

Ask your family if there is a particular possession they want

My youngest wants my wedding dress, and both daughters have asked for my wedding rings. (I have my own, but also my mother’s and grandmothers) When my parents passed, I asked for a Bible that has been in the family for several hundred years. There may be possessions that are special for someone.  

Put important documents together

Have a safe spot where the family can locate titles, deeds, account information, and other important information. I would advise only telling the executor where that is located.

We can be our own worst enemy when it comes to beliefs that hold us back. We can convince ourselves that we cannot do something before we even attempt it. Most of these lies affect us either mentally or physically and eliminating them can make us better. Here are a few we can do without.

You are not good enough

I struggle with this one myself, and I know many other people do too. I always have that feeling that I should have done a better job, or that someone will ask me why I am even trying to do a certain task. It is something I am always working on changing and encouraging others to do the same because it can defeat you mentally and keep you from doing what you love. I practice saying positive things about what I do, and I keep positive notes from people who I have helped as well as uplifting messages.

I have a friend who wants to be an ultra-runner, but she has convinced herself she cannot do it. I have been at several events with her, and she always stops around eighteen miles. It’s her mental wall. Running is more mental than physical, so I am hoping she can bust through that wall and meet her goals.

I’m not a good mom

I think most moms feel this at some point in the parenting journey. We have to make some hard decisions for the good of our children and they are not always happy with us. When my youngest finished public middle school, I signed her up to come to the private high school where I worked. She was angry with me for her whole freshman year because she wanted to stay with her friends in public schools. After her first semester in college, she apologized to me and thanked me for the education she received. That was a very hard time for me. As long as you are providing your children with food, shelter, basic needs, and plenty of love while doing your best to be a good parent, you are probably doing o.k.

I’m not worthy

This translates to I don’t deserve this, and it is slightly different from I’m not good enough because this one is about guilt, and the sense that you haven’t done enough, sacrificed enough or worked hard enough to deserve something. You deserve happiness, and you are worthy to have that happiness.

I don’t have time

This is the lie that I hear the most, especially as an excuse for not exercising. It usually sounds like this, “I would exercise if I didn’t have a job. I just don’t have time.” You can find time in your day for anything that should be a priority. We could get back a lot of our time if we didn’t play with our phones as much.

I can’t exercise because my joints hurt

This is the domino lie. I can’t exercise because my joints hurt, but my joints hurt because I don’t exercise. Another excuse that is keeping you from feeling better.

I can’t lose weight

In order to lose weight, you have to have a realistic body image, so saying I’m meant to be fat, I’m a fat girl, or I’m big-boned, are all lies that mean you don’t have to put in the effort to be healthy. You also have to have a sustainable eating plan. You won’t lose weight starving yourself or eating two bars a day that taste like cardboard.

I’m doing a good enough job at work

There is often a big divide between good enough and good. Good enough sounds like you do the minimum to get by every day.

It’s someone else’s fault

This lie allows you to play the victim instead of accepting responsibility for your actions.

I deserve this

This lie means that even though you haven’t worked for something, saved for it, or met certain criteria, you think you are entitled to it. An example would be someone who goes on a lavish vacation but cannot pay rent upon returning home. Another example is when a student asks a teacher how he can get an A in the class even though he missed 8 out of 16 classes and has failed 3 out of 4 tests.

There are many laws regarding age including the age to drive, vote, and drink, but there are also many age restrictions that society places on us, or that we place on ourselves. You have to decide which ones you think are valid, and which ones you should break through. Here is a short list of these age restrictions.

Being too old for children

I hear women in their early thirties saying that they will be too old in a year or two to have children. Everyone’s situation is different, but I also thought of the thirties as the perfect time to have children. I was still trying to figure life out in my twenties, become comfortable in my career, and grow my relationship with my husband. I had two children in my early thirties, and then I had a third when I was 43. I felt strongly that the time was right to have one more, but every time I asked someone what she thought, I was told it was a terrible idea. This was an example for me of a time when you should listen to your own instincts because my daughter Katie is the light of my life, and while I watched many people become empty nesters, I still have her for a few more years with me, and I am enjoying every minute.

I would advise people to think first about their health and their financial ability to care for a child. A certain age can be completely different for people, so check with your doctor.  

Thinking you are too young or old to be taken seriously

Many people think younger people don’t know much because they haven’t had enough of a chance to learn life experiences, but that is a huge mistake because every person you meet has something to teach us. Unfortunately, I have seen younger people assume that someone older struggles with anything related to technology, or that they are mentally slow. Everyone deserves our respect, especially the elderly who have lived a long life and might need some extra time, but they have so much to offer. My personal pet peeve is when I am checking out at a store, and before I even have a chance to complete the pin pad, the young clerk starts telling me what to do. We should break through our assumptions about age.

Dressing age appropriately

My daughters refuse to let me shop in any store that looks like it caters to older women, but I also will not wear certain things that I don’t think a 64-year-old woman should wear, but of course, that is a personal choice for everyone. I just think there is a certain age when a bare midriff doesn’t look the same anymore.

Being too old to start something new

There are certain activities that some people think of as activities for younger people. I think you should do whatever you enjoy doing. I started karate at 45 and continued training for eight years. My sensei was always trying to age shame me, but I was enjoying myself too much to care. I started learning guitar at sixty-two, and I am loving it! Don’t let your age hold you back from something you would love to try.

Being too old to relate to the younger generation

As I became older, I was worried that I would become too old for my students to relate to me. It didn’t help when I heard people saying that they hope some of the new hires would be younger so they would bring life, and energy to teaching. I don’t think age necessarily affects how well you can do a job.

I had a funny situation at a recent race. I was standing with my friend Sally looking at the results monitor. I had just explained to a young woman next to me how to read the monitor because she was looking in the wrong place, but I don’t think she listened to me. There’s Nothing Holding Me Back was playing and I said to Sally, “I love this song!” The young woman said with surprise, “You like this song?” I said, “You don’t?” She said, “Oh, I do like it.” I said, “So why did you say that like it was weird that I liked it?” She said, “Well, I find the older I get, the more I like younger music.” I said, “Are you calling me old?” Sally said, “We can beat you up you know.” (She was kidding!) We both started laughing. Bless that woman’s heart.

Being afraid of age shaming

Age shaming works both ways, and again, don’t listen to other people’s comments. Do what you love. I was on the porch knitting one day when my neighbor’s daughter said, “See mom, that’s going to be you.” Whether it matters or not, comments like that hurt. I love to ride my bike around the neighborhood, but I’m always thinking that someone might think I’m too old to do that.