After 40 years as a French teacher, and leading 20 student groups to France, I can tell you with certainty that many people see the Eiffel Tower as the symbol of Paris. I have seen students cry when they see it in person, and my granddaughter took 150 pictures of it on a recent visit.

At the risk of alienating all the Eiffel Tower lovers, I have to admit it is my least favorite place in France and possibly the world. Without going into my reasons and being negative about a well-loved landmark I would like to suggest a few other spots in Paris you might enjoy.

If you want to see the Eiffel Tower but you don’t need to go up in it, take one of the boat tours on the Seine. There are a variety to choose from including dinner cruises. We went on the Bateaux Mouches tour and had fun. I would recommend buying tickets in advance no matter what you do. We had the best results at the official tourist office in Paris at https://parisjetaime.com/eng/tickets?gclid=Cj0KCQjwpompBhDZARIsAFD_Fp-JZEFhLIFnGfwNLkUallT9q5kIxrcCFb06TEuz_tPG1S02Z4VYHTkaAk43EALw_wcB

We have also used Viator at https://www.viator.com/Paris-tourism but we had a few issues with them.

Try a cooking class. We went to Galleries Lafayette for a one-hour class on making Macarons. It was amazing, and although many of the cooking classes are expensive this one was $60.

The parks in Paris are so much more than green spaces. Luxembourg Gardens is a peaceful oasis in the city, but it also has a spot to picnic, two cafés, pony rides, a playground, a carrousel, a lake to sail toy boats, a beehive, a vineyard, pétanque and tennis courts, and plenty of history and art. We visited one on this trip called Le Jardin des Plantes. You enter through a tiny door thinking this must be a small park, but it is massive. There was a zoo and many exhibitions.

There are canal rides over near the Bastille.

Go to Forum Les Halles if you want a French mall experience.

If you are standing in front of Notre Dame go to the street behind you and turn the corner to your left. There is a series of plant and gift stores that are fun to walk through.

Although you can take a taxi, a bus, or the metro to get around, consider walking and you will find gems along the way.

It’s the Halloween season and the possibilities to enjoy it are endless. First decide if you want to celebrate it at home, in your neighborhood, or in the greater community, or all of them, then choose from the many activities available from each spot.

Celebrating at home can be fun especially if you are creative and enjoy decorating. My mom knew how to do Halloween right. It also helped that we had a super scary basement. She would put a table down there and cover it with bowls of things that we would have to put our fingers in and guess what it was. There was a huge bucket filled with water and apples and we would dunk for apples. We also carved pumpkins together and baked the seeds on the baking sheets. The best part was trick or treating and then dumping out our baskets to see what we had collected.

One year, we celebrated as a neighborhood, and at each house, someone appeared in a scary costume and read part of a scary story. The children in the neighborhood had so much fun. We also discovered one year ago that using power tools to carve pumpkins is the way to go.

Local organizations host fun parties. Check your local YMCA or local recreation center for activities. You can find pumpkin carving and most towns have trunk and treat options.

Decorations and costumes are everywhere, and you can buy them without breaking the bank. Dollar Tree, Target, and Walmart are great options but don’t forget your local thrift stores too.

Help local churches by buying pumpkins at their pumpkin patches.

Most of all, have a fun, safe, and spooky Halloween.

When you think of Paris you might think of fashion shows, high couture, and prices that match designer brands, but Paris has something for everyone when it comes to shopping. I went exploring some fun stores for shopping on a recent trip to the city of lights. Here are some recommendations.

Head to the Latin Quarter on Boulevard St. Michel. The stores are reasonably priced here because so many students frequent the area. If you are looking for clothing you have Étam and Pimkie. There is also a second-hand store that sells clothing by weight. We went in and were pleasantly surprised by the trendy clothes we found. They also claim to have the best vintage clothing around. There are also several stores for bags and shoes on this street. If you are looking for books/journals, or paper goods Gilbert Le Jeune has a massive store as well as several other stores according to subject along the whole street. They have books in multiple languages.

Monoprix is on this street and it has clothing, makeup, and groceries.

If you like sporting equipment, turn to Rue des écoles and visit Le Vieux Campeur. There are also second-hand book and music stores down the whole street.

Hop on the metro and go to station Forum les Halles. Forum Les Halles is a huge mall. It has H and M, Zara, and many other stores including a two-story pharmacy where you can receive recommendations on skin care. If you walk from the Latin Quarter to Forum Les Halles (go past Notre Dame) you will pass one of the big department stores, Samaritaine. There are two stores side by side. The first store has designer clothes and prices to match, and Louis Vuitton is across the street. The second store has prices that fit my budget more.

Galerie Lafayette and Le Printemps are two other large department stores. The prices were high, but I have a feeling there was probably a section of the store that was better priced.

If money is not a problem, go to The Champs-Elysées and enjoy some time in Louis Vuitton and Chanel!

We were wandering around one day and found a fantastic store called Le Coton Doux. They had unusual and vibrant shirts for men. Check them out at www.cotondoux.com.

You will find treasures by taking your time and wandering through this beautiful city. Happy shopping!

There are many forms of abuse, and they are all equally destructive. I have always thought that emotional abuse was one of the worst forms because it is easily hidden and hard to prove. Those being abused often blame themselves or don’t say anything because they don’t think anyone will believe them.

What does emotional abuse look like? It comes in a variety of forms, but the usual goal of an abuser is to tear down his target making the person feel useless, without value, a good for nothing. The weapons of an abuser are control, manipulation, deceit, isolation, and critique.

An abuser can be a master manipulator who sees using people as a game. He can be charming and funny, and no one would ever suspect that he has dark moods or anger issues. Imagine when someone is being abused by a charmer, and someone says, “He is so funny. You are so lucky to know him.”

An abuser uses every opportunity to critique the person being abused. Nothing the person being abused does is ever good enough. When a friend’s father passed several years ago he told me, “I feel so guilty, but I am relieved he is gone. I don’t have to listen to him telling me everything I do is wrong.”

Emotional abuse can be devastating, and although it doesn’t leave physical signs it can be debilitating to our mental health. If you are being emotionally abused please reach out to someone you trust for help.

What does it take to light your creative fire? What do you need to motivate you to create? Are there people in your life who try to extinguish those flames?

The life of a creative can be a roller coaster ride because one minute we can have a million great ideas, and at other times we question whether what we do has value. So with those conflicting feelings, how can you keep the creative fires burning? Here are a few ideas and observations.

Remember your why

Ask yourself why you want to create whatever your art form is. Do you need to create it to express yourself? As a writer, I have specific ideas that keep coming back and percolating in my brain until I write them out. Do you use your art to help others? All the art forms are healing both for the artist and the artist’s audience. Do you like the idea of a creative lifestyle? I always thought it would be amazing to create, but when it worked for me instead of working 9–5. I’m sure there are many other answers just keep your answer in view.

Document your success

On the rough days when you question your ability, it helps to have some proof that your art has made a difference. Keep notes from people who have let you know your creative talent has made a difference in your life. Have that documentation accessible so you can prove to yourself that you need to keep on creating.

See haters for who they are

Haters are looking for attention and they love drama. They are not interested in giving you a valid critique of your work that might help you grow your craft. If you engage with a hater and allow your emotions to run the show, you are fueling the hater’s fire, not yours.

Guard your energy

Where do you want to expend your energy? Decide how to answer this by deciding what brings you joy and what will fill your needs either financially or creatively.

After my third book was published I started to receive requests to come talk about writing and publishing. Opportunities like this can be one more way to put your name out there, it can be a way to serve your community, but it is also a time sucker. Ask yourself if it is worth it to do an event for free when you could have been creating.

Know Your Value

When I first started writing I read some advice that said every writer needs to create a writer’s footprint which means that you need to get your work published, so publishers can find you. This can mean doing work for free. I agree that if you want to build a portfolio doing work for free can be an easy way to do it, but at a certain point, you need to realize what your work is worth and say no to work without payment.

Don’t let the non-believers stop you

I have a close family member who thinks I am just playing with my writing. He makes depreciating comments that tell me he doesn’t take my writing seriously. This actually makes me want to work harder to be successful. I am going to prove I can make my dream a reality. If this sounds familiar to you keep moving forward.

Have fun

Nothing motivates me more than the feeling of excitement when I start a new project. Have fun with your creations.

In this day and age, we need inspiration and creativity. You can make a difference so keep moving forward.

Women often talk about wanting more equality with men, but sometimes the barriers in our way need to be torn down by us. We sometimes have some issues with the way we react to the success of another woman.

Have you ever felt guilty when you share an accomplishment with someone? That could be because we have heard and seen the reactions of women when that happens, and it isn’t always pretty. A woman I know was complaining that so many women on Facebook were bragging. She thought it was shameful. Although I know I am being naïve I would like to think most of the people on my Facebook feed are family and friends who would celebrate any success with me. Isn’t it more shameful to judge someone for sharing the joy of doing something extraordinary?

What if instead of feeling jealous when someone tells us about being successful at something we celebrated the person, and asked her advice on what works for her if that is something we would like to try? It is beautiful to watch women who help each other succeed, and it’s ugly when the opposite happens.

How do you react when someone congratulates you on your success? Do you say “Thank you”, or do you need to add a self-deprecating remark because you feel uncomfortable? Most success doesn’t happen because of luck. It usually requires time and effort to make it happen. I am a runner, and I do races almost every weekend. I am not super-fast, but I’m fast enough to medal in my age group usually. I was posting how I did at each race but stopped doing it after several negative comments were made to me. I started just saying that I had done a certain race, but then I realized that I had every right to post how I had done, and maybe I might inspire someone else to run if she saw the joy it brought me.

As odd as it sounds there are people who will resent your success. Keep moving forward and enjoying the ride. Let negative people take ownership of their issues. It’s not your problem.

I wish you all success at whatever brings you joy. Be proud of your success, own it, and never apologize.

One of the reasons I love my office is that I am surrounded by things that make me happy, cause me to laugh, inspire me, and lift me up. There are photos/cards/words of wisdom/journals and many other things. I was sitting here thinking how important it is to surround ourselves with the things that matter because although life is glorious it can also beat you up sometimes, so being surrounded by great things can provide some cushion. Here are a few ideas of what you might want to have nearby.

Your go-to songs

Music has the power to change your mood in a heartbeat. Remember the last time one of your favorite songs came on and it instantly brightened your mood. You might have a song that you love to sing at the top of your lungs in the car or one that makes you dance in the kitchen.

Keep a few humorous things nearby

My dog loves to attack sticks. If you didn’t know how gentle and non-aggressive he is you would swear you are watching a crazed beast as he conquers the stick. My neighbors know how much it makes me laugh, so for my birthday they found me a card with a dog that looks just like my dog, and he is balancing a stick on his nose with the caption, “Hope nobody else got you a stick.” I keep it next to me on my desk.

Have something beautiful close to you.

I love flowers and bright colors, so I have two bouquets of roses. One is pink and one is yellow.

Have an I am pretty cool board

Put up proof of all the cool things you have done and accomplished. That way when you have a bad day you can look at the board and remember you are cool.

Keep a dream board

It’s always fun to have pictures of the future you want to have. Keep your eyes on the prize!

Post inspiration everywhere

I have pictures of strong women, words of affirmation, and words of wisdom to keep me on the right path.

Keep the cupboards stocked with your favorite food

Food is love and life, so have the food you love close by to share with others and enjoy yourself.

Your friend list

On the days when you feel alone start scrolling through your friend list. I’m hoping you will feel as blessed as I do.

Music has such powerful energy. When I feel a little lost, music saves me. Recently, life threw me a curveball, and I was feeling unsettled. I was sitting in my kitchen when suddenly I received an update notification from the photo app on my phone. I have never opened this app, and I had never received any notification from it. I also did not know that the app took photos from my gallery and made a video with music with the photos.

I opened the app and there was a video of a family trip we took in 2019 back to the area where I grew up. Not only were there photos of my daughter, granddaughter, and the beautiful area where I lived, but the video was also set to the most peaceful music. I could feel the stress leaving my body, and my emotions began to calm. I watched the video four times and felt so much better when it finished. Has music ever healed you that way?

Sometimes, the words in a song are exactly what I needed at that moment. I was thinking of doing something that was out of my comfort zone when I heard Pink’s song Trust Fall for the first time. If you haven’t heard the song it talks about breaking through fear and doing what you thought was impossible. “Do it. Just do it, and then the fear is gone.”

Music can motivate us when our energy is flagging. As a runner, I have been to many races when I wanted to stop, but the music pumped me up and kept me going. One half-marathon at a college had a band playing every two miles, and it made a big difference. I was running a marathon in New Orleans and the roads were torn up by Hurricane Catrina. Running on them took a toll on my legs, and at mile 13 my legs were already tired. At mile 13, you either entered the chute to finish the half-marathon, or you turned to the left and continued on the route for the marathon. I wanted to turn into that chute and be done, but Rocky was playing and I mean who gives up when Rocky is playing?

We associate memories with music. When we hear a certain song it reminds us of another time. It helps us remember important moments. We connect to the movie from our era and have a certain pride in it. I know I often tell my children, “I listened to that song growing up.”

Music sets the tone for performances of all kinds. When we are in the movies we know when something big is going to happen by the music. In a dance performance, the music adds to the beauty. Music can make us cry or laugh.

Music is inexpensive therapy. We can put on music that calms, motivates, or just makes us happy. The rhythms and tones seem to have a connection to our body’s energy. Music is a healthy way to improve our mental health.

We all have a rough idea of what we should eat as a healthy, balanced diet, but it isn’t always that easy to do. When we have a hectic lifestyle that may include a full-time job, children, school, and activities grabbing fast, easy-to-eat food sometimes takes the place of sitting down with a healthy meal. If eating healthy wasn’t enough of a challenge we are supposed to find time to exercise. Before we know it the numbers on the scale have risen too high, our clothes don’t fit, and we know it’s time for a change.

When this happens many of us turn to diets because we want the weight gone as soon as possible. We are looking for a quick fix, but do diets work?

Mercy Cedar Rapids Food and nutrition services says, “Diets are not associated with long-term weight loss moreover diets create a restrictive, controlling relationship with food. Those who attempt to manage their weight through restriction and deprivation often discover that these tactics may worsen a weight problem. Ditch dieting for an intuitive eating approach.”

They describe an intuitive eating approach as eating when you are hungry and stopping when you are full. You eat for physical not emotional reasons.

Robert H. Schmerling, MD. says “Talk to your doctor, a nutritionist, and perhaps a health coach. Review this study with them and, together, decide on dietary and other lifestyle changes that appeal to you. Then stick with them. Remember, you’re most likely to stick with lifestyle changes you actually like.”

Charlotte Markey writes in Scientific American, “Simple, slow, and steady: When setting a weight loss goal, it is natural to want to accomplish it immediately. Yesterday! But to maintain a more svelte figure, you need to make gradual, sustainable changes to your diet: for example, drinking less alcohol and juice, substituting diet soda or seltzer for regular soda, and eating dessert on four nights a week instead of seven. Making even small changes such as these may sound like a “diet,” which I have told you to avoid, but it is not, for one important reason: this slow, steady approach allows you to adjust to a new routine at your own pace without the intense effort and denial that typical diet plans require. Most people trying to lose five to 50 pounds will benefit from this slow-to-moderate approach to weight loss, but it is important to note that individuals whose health is at serious risk because of obesity will likely need more drastic measures and should consult a physician.”

Receiving a driver’s license is a rite of passage. It symbolizes freedom, independence, and hopefully responsibility to drive safely. When someone’s age, addiction, or distraction affects that ability to drive safely, the family and often the police have to step in to take away the keys. Although it’s a no-brainer when it comes to protecting the safety of both the driver and others it can be a complicated issue.

I know there are those who feel there should be an age when someone is no longer allowed to drive, but I disagree with that because we all age differently. If someone is driving dangerously or has impaired vision because of age the driver might need to surrender the keys. I know how difficult this decision is because you are taking away the freedom to travel, but you have to consider general safety. I grew up in a small town and there was a woman in her nineties who drove a car that looked more like a tank. She could barely see over the steering wheel. One day, she pulled into my dad’s gas station, the attendant filled her car with gas, and as she was leaving she hit a car that was on the side for repairs. She didn’t even know she had hit the car. She headed out and drove down the road. This was a regular occurrence because the mechanic turned to my dad and said, “I’ll take care of that.”

Addiction can impair driving judgment. My husband battled alcohol addiction, and he often says he is lucky he did not kill someone while on the road. He told me he was often drunk coming home from the airport after a business trip. One of the issues in this situation is that many people refuse to turn over the keys to a designated driver because they are sure they can handle it. What can we do to keep people whose senses are affected off the road before someone is hurt?

Distracted drivers can be as dangerous as a driver who is under the influence. We have all been sitting at the light when it changes and the driver in front doesn’t move until someone honks. Think of all the distractions we face. We are looking at GPS, incoming messages, changing the radio, watching what is happening around us, children in the car, and we are thinking of a million things. I have a family member who is a very distracted driver. He has driven through red lights because he was lost in thought, he feels he needs to make eye contact with you while he is speaking to you, he has run over curbs, and he likes to stare out the window at the scenery. He is an accident waiting to happen.

So what should the criteria be for when to take away the keys?