I have friends who have been talking about how much they want to run a 5k, but there is something daunting about signing up for the first one. You might think you will show up at the race and everyone will instantly know you are not a real runner, or everyone around you will be in Simon Bile’s shape and you won’t fit in. First, if you run you are a real runner and if you show up you will be surprised to see all shapes and sizes, and every fitness level.

The next fear is that you won’t be fast enough, and you might come in last. Running is about improving and making goals. At the last race, I saw someone doing the whole race on crutches, and although he probably came in last I have a feeling the crowd cheered him in as if he was the winner.

We met a woman at a local half-marathon who said she did a few 5ks and then she couldn’t get enough of racing. She said 5ks are the gateway drug of running. One minute you sign up for a 5k and before you know it you are doing an ultra across the desert.

Here is some running vocabulary before we talk about the actual race.

5k 3.1 miles (give or take)

Course descriptions Mostly white lies especially when it says rolling hills. That’s when you know you are in trouble.

Chip time This is when there is a start mat and a finish mat. Your time starts when you cross the first mat and finishes when you cross the second.

Gun time This means that the time starts as soon as the gun goes off, so if it takes you longer to cross the start it could make your time slower.

The bib Your bib has all your information on it as well as a chip that will track your time.

Swag the t-shirt and other gifts that the race organizers offer.

Packet pick up Your bib and your swag.

Pacing How fast or slow you are running.

Masters the winner who is over 40

Grandmaster the winner over 50

Senior grandmaster The winner over 60

Here are a few things that will help you have a great 5K.

· Run and walk at least three times a week for thirty to forty minutes several weeks before the race.

· Do some cross-training like biking and swimming.

· Do strength training and work on strengthening your core. Strong muscles will help you avoid injury.

· Stretch. We can forget how important flexibility is to performance.

· The day of the race don’t start out too fast. It is easy to be caught up in the excitement of the start. Most of the time, you will see many of the people who sprinted out of the start walking by the first mile.

· You might have race nerves so do a body check and make sure you are running relaxed with your shoulders loose. Practice regular breathing because when you are nervous you might hold your breath for a few seconds, and that never ends well.

· Pick your rabbit. About a half-mile in there will be someone running right in front of you. Make it your goal to stay near that person unless of course you can pass that person and pick a new rabbit. The goal is to have someone who pushes you slightly.

· Don’t let hills defeat you. Slow your stride, bend slightly, and look right in front of you instead of gazing up at the looming mountain. So much of running is mental and hills are a good example of this. I used to tell my cross-country runners to trash-talk the hills. It took their minds off the challenge and gave them some motivation to crush the hill.

· Practice positive self-talk. This is another example of the power of your mind. When you feel as if you are not running well it is easy to let the negative voices in your head. I guarantee you that just the fact that you are doing a race makes you a badass in almost everyone’s eyes, so find the positives in your performance.

· Every racer has that moment, (sometimes the entire race) when you have entered the pain cave, and you really want to stop. Go slower for a few seconds instead of stopping and focus on something else like catching the person in front of you.

The most important piece of advice is to have fun. When you go to races you will experience a community atmosphere and you will be surrounded by veteran runners who can help you improve.

Going to Paris is magical in most circumstances, but there are a few tips and tricks that can make it even better. I have been teaching French for 40 years and have taken 19 student trips to Paris. Each time I go I learn something more. Here are 10 tips that will help you on your next trip.

1. There is a taxi scam at the airport. Someone will approach you and ask if you need a taxi. When you say yes he will lead you down a hallway and outside to where a taxi is waiting. Unfortunately, this type of taxi can charge you double the normal rate. Follow the taxi signs in the airport and you will be well taken care of, and you will have more money to pay for the adventures waiting for you.

2. When your taxi drops you off at your hotel, ask if you can make a reservation to be picked up at the end of your stay. If you ask your hotel to do it they will charge you for the service.

3. There are several ways to enter the Louvre. I have always found that going in through the metro station was the easiest. Your stop is Palais-Royal.

4. Go early to museums before the lines get long.

5. Walk as much as possible because you will see more, and you will discover new things.

6. Learn a few basics of the language. It makes a difference in the way you are treated if you make an effort to communicate.

7. Café culture should be a separate article but here are some basics.

· It is less expensive to eat at the counter than at a table.

· Don’t just order coffee unless you want an expresso. Ask for a café americano if you want an American coffee.

· Don’t expect to rush through a meal in a café. The French believe food should be savored.

· In most cafés, the tip is included but you can add extra if the service is good.

· Read the menu that is posted outside to check the offerings and the prices.

8. Toilets could also be an entire lesson. Here are a few pointers.

· You need to tip to use some toilets, so have some change ready.

· If you use the bathroom in a café make sure to order something.

9. Book your tickets for attractions in advance. Booking in advance makes your experience much easier. You can often skip the lines, and you can at least not stand in line to buy the ticket. Go to the website of the attraction, or go to the online site of the Paris tourist office www.parisjetaime.com

10. Buy metro tickets in advance if you can. The metro ticket is good for both the metro and the bus. Hold onto your ticket until you leave the station because there are people who can check to see if you have a ticket, and if you do not have it you could be fined. Take a quick tutorial on reading a metro map, and it will make traveling around much easier.

The healthiest thing you can do mentally is to surround yourself with a strong community that has your best interests in mind, accepts you for who you are without judgment, is transparent and real, and wants to share experiences and joys with you. Being surrounded by the opposite type of person is toxic. Here is a quote I have in my office that I can look at any time someone disappoints me.

“There comes a time in your life when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, pray for the ones who don’t. Life is too short to be anything but happy.”

When someone’s post pops up check your emotions. What do you feel instantly? Do you remember betrayal? Do you cringe at a post and say, “Oh boy, here we go again.” If you feel negative emotions when you see someone’s name on your feed you probably should not have them in your friend group. If you smile when you see a post because you enjoy someone then that person is a keeper. When you waste your time on the negative Nellies, you are allowing people to steal your energy.

It’s interesting that your page is called your feed because when I hear that word I think of things that will fill me up and nourish me. If the people in your friend group don’t do that why are they there?

Eliminating people who judge you and don’t have your back is liberating. It feels as if you are standing up for yourself and improving your mental health.

If you are worried about someone’s reaction when he finds out you unfriended or unfollowed someone realize the truth is that person is probably too consumed with himself to even notice.

The American Psychological Association says that 35%-50% of first marriages end in divorce. Most divorces occur within the first five years of marriage and some of the causes include communication issues, infidelity, and issues with money. With such a high rate of divorce, what can you do to ensure you are not adding to those statistics? Here are 12 ideas to consider.

1. Choose well

Rushing into a relationship is never a good idea. Spend some time getting to know your partner before you make a life commitment. If this is the right person for you he or she will wait until you are both ready. Meet the family and friends and spend time doing what you both love.

2. Talk about all the important issues before you marry

Talk about whether you want to have children, where you want to live, and how you want to manage money and discuss your feelings about religion and politics. Don’t leave any of the important topics untouched because you think you know the answer. Find out now so you are not surprised after you say, “I do”.

3. Treat each other with respect

Have you ever felt awkward when a couple at a party start criticizing each other in front of everyone? Don’t tear your significant down. Compliment each other and respect each other’s ideas by listening and discussing them as adults even if you don’t agree.

4. Keep a sense of humor

Laughter solves so many problems, and it can ease tensions and lift spirits in a marriage. Laugh with each other and see the funny side of the situation.

5. Be each other’s champion

You need to know you have someone who will always support you and show you unconditional love. Be in each other’s corner.

6. Compromise

You probably won’t always agree on everything, so talk things out and make a compromise that works for both of you.

7. Don’t keep secrets

Keeping secrets is exhausting and it erodes the trust that is so important for you to have.

8. United we stand when dealing with the children

Children are very smart about playing parents against each other, so communicate well about decisions and discipline so you are both on the same page.

9. Listen well

Actively listen when your partner speaks. Put down the phone, look your partner in the eyes, and do not interrupt or try to finish sentences.

10. Trust

You have to trust each other to build a strong relationship. Make a commitment to earning that trust.

11. Stay intimate

Being intimate is much more than sex. It means touching, cuddling, and enjoying being next to each other.

12. Forgive

Both you and your spouse will probably do something that requires forgiveness. Give grace when you can, and as always communicate about it.

13. Be your spouse’s safe space

Your spouse should be that person you can tell anything without worrying about judgment. You should always have at least one person who feels like a safe place to land.

14. Enjoy your time together

Find things to do together you both enjoy. Create memories.

15. Spend some time apart

You also need some time apart to do your own thing and have some space.

Having a strong marriage will take some work, but it is worth the effort as you both make a life together and grow both as individuals and as a couple.

Depression doesn’t care what your race is, how wealthy you are, or what your gender is. It hits people who we think have it all, and it often hides well behind a mask of happiness.

Have you ever known someone who seemed to have it all together, who laughed and smiled, and was the life of the party, but then one day, this person trusts you enough to reveal the darkness behind the mask? Imagine what that must be like to have emotions that are like a roller coaster, and you are never sure when depression will show up again. Even worse, what if depression lingers and the negative voices in your head won’t stop whispering, and you have to pretend to be happy? It must be devastating and exhausting. Even worse, what if the people you love don’t understand?Depression is powerful and often requires professional help. Individuals try to escape it any way they can. Some turn to alcohol and other drugs which might offer temporary relief but eventually exacerbate the problem. Others use running to heal, and this often helps because it is not only healthy for you physically, but being a part of the running community can help you mentally.I am not an expert on depression, but I have friends and family who struggle with it. My advice to those who have depression is to not believe the voices in your head. You matter and you are worthy. Don’t suffer alone. Find a community. If you love someone who has depression listen to them, encourage them to share, and find them help when it is needed.

After years of spending large amounts of money on health and beauty products, I was surprised to discover that I could purchase a product for less than $5 that would suit most of my needs. I have used Vaseline for most of my life, but recently I found even more ways it can come in handy. Here is a quick list.

Preserving your pumpkin

If you rub Vaseline over the carved edges it will preserve the pumpkin longer because the Vaseline prevents bacteria from getting into the flesh.

A sore nose

Anytime we have a cold our noses take a beating and become red and sore. Vaseline can soothe and heal them.

Cuticles

When your cuticles become dry and cracked put some Vaseline on them to lubricate them.

A make-up aid

Put Vaseline on your eyelids and cheeks to produce a dewy look and a glow.

Skin healer

I have had many pre-cancerous spots removed and usually, the dermatologist recommends an antibiotic cream to treat it, but at my last visit, I was told to use Vaseline.

Moisturizer

I have been using Vaseline as a moisturizer and within a week I noticed my skin had lost most of its redness and my fine lines were less noticeable.

Lip balm

I have often heard that many ChapSticks have harmful chemicals in them, so I stick with Vaseline.

Soothes diaper rash

You need a gentle product for a baby. Vaseline is triple-purified, hypoallergenic, and non-irritating.

Lip exfoliator

Put some Vaseline on a toothbrush and gently scrub lips to remove flaky skin.

Chafe relief

You can spend $17 dollars on a product to relieve chafing, or you can use Vaseline. I put some under the line of my sports bra and rub my feet with it to protect them during distance running.

I’m sure I have forgotten a few uses, but I hope you will try the ones I mentioned.

Do you ever want to explain to a non-runner how glorious your run was, but you are not sure you can find the words without them thinking you are crazy? It’s sometimes difficult for others to understand what we love as runners.

We run in weather that most people think should make someone stay inside. I love to run in the rain because it seems so peaceful to me, but when I come in my husband almost always says, “It’s too bad you got caught in the rain.” He would never understand if I told him I loved every minute of the run, and I even had clothes, especially for rainy days. I also enjoy running when it is snowing. I remember once when a neighbor came out and said, “Jen, are you okay? You know it’s snowing right?” The same neighbor also came out in the winter and said, “Jen, it is 24 degrees out here! What in the world are you doing?”

They don’t know everything we see when we are out there. They missed the day a huge hawk swooped down and perched on a mailbox for fifteen minutes and just watched me run around our neighborhood. He was so majestic and fearless.

Several times a week I go out before sunrise. I love the quiet of early morning and the chance to see the stars. We often have deer in our neighborhood, and once I reached the top near the street just as three came around the corner to enter our subdivision. We all just stopped and stared at each other. After several minutes, they turned and ran from where they came.

There are stories from fellow runners to share. The struggles, the inspirations, and the triumphs. I leave most races feeling grateful for all the amazing people I have met through running. Everyone should feel the inspiration that I experience because of the grit and determination of other runners.

Running shows the positive side of humanity. I have watched so many people reach out to encourage others. It is one of my favorite things to do. I saw a woman at a trail race wearing a knee brace. I heard her tell someone, “I think this is the end of my running career. She said it with such sadness that I almost said something to her because I had finally healed from my knee injury. Even though I did not say anything that day I thought of her often and hoped she had not given up. Several months later, I saw her again. I approached her and asked about her knee. She described the struggle she was having, and I shared the advice I received from my orthopedist and my physical trainer. She told me she had new hope she could heal, so that made me happy.

Many people don’t understand the training of a runner. I become excited about training and the possibility of becoming stronger, but I have friends who only train for a specific race, and then go months without any physical activity. When you tell them you are training for an ultramarathon they usually say, “Why would you do that?” but the training as well as the races teach me more about myself and my body than I could ever have imagined. I also am inspired by how hard other runners train.

The gear required for running is another subject that causes questions. “Why do you have so many shoes?” I need trail shoes, road shoes, shoes for rain, lightweight shoes, and shoes for the days I need more support. I also need recovery sandals to help my feet recover from all those miles. I have water-repellent sweatshirts, rain pants, shorts, tights, and a variety of tops depending on the weather. Hats to use as sun shields, sunglasses that can stay on your nose or your head, and the right pair of socks are all important. When we travel my running gear takes up a lot of space in the suitcase.

I always wish I could show more people how glorious running is, but I realize that being a runner comes with a different perception of what matters, and everyone is entitled to choose. All I know is I love the stories and the experiences that shape them. I am so thankful to be a runner.

After 40 years in the classroom, the advice I would give a new teacher is to not take yourself too seriously and to be able to laugh at yourself. Teaching presents an opportunity every day for embarrassment, and if you are a high school teacher like I was, you will be embarrassing yourself in front of teenagers. As long as you have a sense of humor everything will be fine, and you will have great stories to tell. Here are a few of my more epic moments.

The fall from the platform shoes

I was wearing ridiculously high platform shoes and a pretty blue dress. The class had been doing some crafts on the floor. Right before the bell rang everyone was in their seats and I was walking across the floor. I forgot that there were plastic craft boxes on the floor, my foot went in one, the box slid, and I fell hard. I jumped back up, threw my hands in the air, and yelled, “I give myself a ten!” There was dead silence and they all looked horrified. I said, “It’s okay everyone. I’m fine.” A boy told me later, “Madame, you went down hard! We were worried.” I went home and told my family, and whenever I wear those shoes I warn the people around me that I have fallen off of them before.

Falling down the stairs

I was walking back from chapel while talking to another teacher. I was trying to be attentive and make eye contact, but I forgot there were three stairs leading down to the road. I missed all three and landed on my knee ripping my pants where I landed. There were about 200 people behind me. One boy said, “That’s what happens when you drink before lunch!” I acted like I was fine, but my knee was pretty bloody. I still laugh at the fact that it had to happen with the whole school behind me.

Two different shoes

Quite a few embarrassing things happened because of pregnancy. When I was 8 months pregnant I couldn’t really see my feet and twice I came into school with two different shoes.

The disintegrating shoes

I love shoes and it is sometimes hard for me to throw them away, so some pairs are old. One day, I kept seeing small pieces of wood as I walked around the room. I couldn’t figure out what it was and then suddenly my heel fell off! Luckily I had a free period and I lived right down the road. That would have been okay, but a month later it happened again. My class probably was ready to start a shoe fund for me.

The microwave fire

I had a jar of Nutella that I wanted to heat up, but I wasn’t sure if I could put it in the microwave. One of my students who was a science genius was with me, so I said, “Jasmine, can I put this in the microwave?” She said, “I think so. Maybe put a napkin on top.” “Oh. Okay.” We didn’t notice that there was still some aluminum on the top, so when I turned on the microwave there was an instant pop and fire which caught on the napkin we had placed on the top. We got it under control, but I almost destroyed the teacher lounge.

Meeting Travis Tritt

One day, my class was working on the floor. Our headmaster stuck his head in the door to say hello and then went back into the corridor. Two minutes later, one of my students approached me and said, “Dr. T wants you to know Travis Tritt is in the hall.” I almost knocked three students over trying to get to the door. When I came into the hall Travis was there with his wonderful wife and all I could think to say was “I love your music.” I’m sure he had never heard that before lol.

Not quite done up

I know parents of small children will understand this. Both my children at the time were under five and I was sleep-deprived. I had thrown on my clothes and rushed out to daycare. I was in the middle of a class when a student said, “Madame, the zipper on your skirt is down.” Luckily, I was wearing a slip, so no one was too shocked.

The bat

I am terrified of bats. I was teaching at a school that is located at the foot of a mountain and 500 acres of woods and I had a classroom that opened out on that woods. One day, I was focused on teaching when I looked up at the ceiling and saw a large bat. I would like to tell you that I acted with calm and decorum, but I screamed, threw down my papers, ran out the door, and closed it behind me. The students had no idea what had happened but when they saw me panic, they panicked too following me out in the hall. The Spanish teacher came with a broom and shooed it out into the forest. I apologized to my class and said that we now knew that I was not going to be the one to save the day.

The game that injured a student

We used to play a game where students raced another student to the board and wrote the answer to a question I asked. The first one back to his seat with the correct answer on the board won a point. It was total chaos, but if you wanted to wake up students this was the game to play.

There was a boy in the class who had injured his ankle in soccer. He had been wearing an air cast, but on this day he did not have it. Everything was going well until Sam ran up, wrote his answer, and turned to come back. His ankle gave out and he went down. I managed to get him in a chair, but he was obviously in pain. The nurse came to get him. I’m sure she was thinking, “When did French become so dangerous?”

The sneeze

This is disgusting but it definitely qualifies as embarrassing. I was teaching when I had to sneeze. It wasn’t one of the gentle sneezes, it was the kind that comes from your depths, and unfortunately, quite a bit of fluid came out with it. I turned around quickly in search of tissue, but I’m sure there were a few students who were thinking, “Ewwwww!”

Teaching requires you to be on a stage every day, and it is inevitable that life and all its crazy moments are going to happen. If you react to them with humor and resilience it could be one more teaching moment for your students.

Some of the best writing advice I have heard was to create a writer’s footprint by publishing often and making sure that your name was easily found as a writer. To create that footprint though you have to know where and how to be published. There is quite a large range of ways to accomplish this, so let me tell you what I know so far.

There are several writing books I use that will give you names of publishers to contact as well as what the publications are looking for, and what payment they offer. Here is a list;

Writer’s Market

Writer’s and Artist’s Yearbook

Writer’s Handbook

Christian Writer’s Market

There are more specific writer’s market books including one for poets and children’s writers.

I started by sending articles to magazines and newspapers. I sent articles to my local media and began writing a monthly column in two of the local magazines. Neither magazine pays writers, but I wanted to have samples of work to give publishers and a way to improve my writing resume. If you are willing to write for free, it is easy to find spots that will accept your work. Once you have established yourself, you can step away from not being paid for your work.

Working for free can have other benefits. I fell in love with an online parenting magazine called Screamin Mamas and started to write for them. When I recently published my second book the editor did a beautiful feature on me, and I have used it at several talks and book signings.

If you want to publish articles in magazines and newspapers read several back copies to know what topics they accept. Write a query letter describing your article, find the contact information on the masthead in the magazine where staff is listed, or in one of the books listed above, and send it off.

If you want to publish a book you have more decisions to make. Here are some choices.

A traditional publisher. This is a publisher who signs a contract with you and pays you for your work.

A vanity publisher/self-publishing. You pay someone to produce your book.

Hybrid publisher. This is in between traditional and self-publishing where you pay to be published, but you might share in the profits.

Electronic publishing. This is self-publishing but less expensive.

Amazon Publishing. Here is the link for this. https://www.bookwritingcube.com/book-publishing-services/?keyword=publish%20your%20books&matchtype=p&cid=16735414254&aid=133776897263&loci=&locp=9010848&gclid=Cj0KCQjw4bipBhCyARIsAFsieCwQej3TvWDQyvOOGDw7LpPQM1po_-OaU6Rt5Idf8Ur9hmymF_30VWQaAghYEALw_wcB&adp=&gad=1

Be sure to research which type of publishing is the right fit for you. Good luck!

I remember feeling overwhelmed when my oldest was born. I was terrified I would be a bad parent, and I had no idea how to be a good one. I had wonderful parents, but they weren’t perfect either, so I went blindly into parenting hoping love would be enough. Here are some of my more epic failures.

Too much screen time

When my grandson was born my daughter declared, “I am not going to just stick him in front of a screen.” He now watches at least one movie a day, and my daughter now says, “Okay, Mom, I understand now. Moms need a minute to breathe.” I know I should have played more educational games and turned the television off, but with a full-time job, I was a tired parent like so many others.

I didn’t monitor social media use

If I had to go through the teenage years again I would monitor the phone usage closely. There are too many negative possibilities with social media these days. I was naïve to think my children would not engage in anything inappropriate.

I had my priorities wrong

My biggest regret is that I put work before them. I worked at a boarding school for much of my career, and that required me to coach and work long hours. I remember my ten-year-old son begging me to stay with him instead of going to soccer practice. I cannot get that time back, and now he is the one who is too busy.

I felt anger when understanding was needed

The teenage years are hard for almost everyone. I should have listened more and tried to understand instead of reacting.

Along with these epic failures, I know I had some shining moments too. As parents, we can only do our best, and love our children. What would you have done differently as a parent?