Runners are generally the best people we will meet, so they wouldn’t trash talk, would they? First, we have to admit that there are several forms of trash talk and in my opinion runners use all three. Here are the three types I have heard and how runners use them.

Teasing trash talk

This is the kind of banter I hear the most among runners. It could be a group of runners teasing each other with comments like, “I hope you are ready to eat my dust. I’ll wait for you at the finish or try not to be last.”

My best friend Raleigh and I engage in this type of trash talk all the time. Since Raleigh is not in my age group or of my gender I don’t care if he beats me in a race, but for some reason, he hates it when I beat him. I use those feelings to motivate him. If I have the chance to pass him I will say, “C’mon old man! Am I going to be waiting at the finish line again?” He always speeds up after that. The best moment was during a half-marathon when I swear I stopped every other mile to use the bathroom. Somehow, I managed to catch Raleigh at mile 11. He was struggling with his head down. I ran up next to him, smiled broadly, and said, “Hey, buddy! Were you waiting for me?” The look of shock on his face was so funny that I started laughing and he was able to take off and put some distance between us.

Trash-talking that motivates us to do better and makes us laugh is a good form of teasing.

Mean-spirited trash talk

I believe runners are usually extraordinary people, so I have only experienced negative trash talk twice. I was coaching cross-country and loving every minute. I decided to design a pair of racing spikes on the Nike site. They are beautiful red and yellow lightweight shoes with cross-country written in white letters. The first time I wore them I was running a local race when a woman pulled up next to me and said, “Well, at least you have cool shoes.” I know I am overly sensitive, but I think she was implying that she thought my running was not as cool as my shoes. I was so surprised at a runner being nasty that I said nothing.

The second time was last weekend during a 10k. It was the first 10k I had done in a while, so I decided to run slowly and enjoy the run. Around a mile and a half and the third hill, I walked a few steps. A woman ran up next to me and said, “You shouldn’t have been trying to keep up with me.” I find when it comes to running actions speak louder than words, so I left her in the dust.

Bathroom trash talk

There is an odd type of trash talk that occurs in the line for the bathroom, and it happens with both men and women. This is what it sounds like, “Did you do the Desert 250 last weekend? I had my personal best. I’m only doing this marathon as training for my ultra. I’m doing a marathon every weekend. I have done three Iron Man triathlons.” I think this type of trash talk is to make you feel like you shouldn’t even try to compete. Start at the back and just hope you finish because how could you ever compare to these runners? The truth is that there is usually more to their stories and it isn’t as glorious as they make it out to be.

I hope at your next race you listen to the runners around you and see if you hear any forms of trash talk, and although it can be motivational I hope none of it is mean-spirited.

As writers, we expose ourselves to critique with every piece of writing we create. Everyone is entitled to an opinion and perceptions vary greatly from person to person. It can be hard to hear criticism about your writing, but it will help your mental health if you know how to respond depending on the critique you are receiving.

Feedback that can improve your writing. Sometimes feedback can make you better. I have the habit of overusing the same words too often. I appreciated the editor who told me to stop doing that. I always want to keep growing and learning so if my readers have helpful comments I am grateful.

When it’s not about your writing. I wrote a story for another writing platform about where the tradition Of Christmas lights originated. I received over 100 comments and the majority were very bizarre, ranging from racial comments, (we have the lights so the blacks don’t steal.) to political rants. Most of the readers were taking the opportunity to talk about anything except Christmas lights. I read the comments to my daughter, and she looked at me with wide eyes and said, “This is about Christmas lights?”

The haters. As hard as it is to believe, there are people who only want to be hateful. Do not engage with them because it is a waste of your time.

When the reaction seems off. I once received a rejection from an editor who started off so sweetly as she told me she had liked the story and there were some good points, but then she went on a rant saying I needed to pay my dues with hard work before I could expect success. It was very odd, and I finished reading the e-mail thinking she must have had a stressful day.

The bottom line is a critique that will improve your writing and is respectfully given should be seen as a gift while hateful attacks that do nothing to improve your craft can be ignored. Write on!

All my life, I have thought it was a good practice to find someone who was very good at something I wanted to learn and watch them in action. The same thing is true for writing. Interacting with other writers will help you improve in many ways. Here are a few ideas why reaching out to other writers is a good idea.

We all need connections. Having a mentor, or even better a community of mentors gives us a chance to ask questions and brainstorm ideas. Writers all need encouragement. When we put our writing out for the public to read it can leave us feeling raw. Encouragement from other writers can be a balm to the soul.

We can learn through other’s failures. When I first started writing I made so many mistakes, but I was lucky that some kind writers told me what I was doing wrong and how to fix it. I still have so much to learn which is why I am always reading more advice from writers. Failure is a great teacher but allow others to help you avoid it as much as you can.

Writers can help you find a spot for your writing. I have learned so much while I have been on Medium because writers are so willing to share where they write and what they use to be successful. Read the posts that will help you with your writing and share some of your knowledge to help others.

Writers can teach you to be better. Reading as much as you can whether it is from the library, a bookstore, or an online site can teach you to be better. If you are curious enough and an avid reader you will continue to grow. Take a class and share your work with others.

We have an amazing community as writers. Continue to have a growth mentality, stay curious, and keep interacting with others.

When we think about gratitude we usually are considering what we have right now, but today I saw something on social media that I thought was so true. There are some very important things to be thankful for besides our current possessions.

Be grateful for what is left. Do you have trouble letting go of something, or walking away even when you know it is toxic to you? I do. I always feel as if I’m quitting, maybe it’s me or if I try harder I can find the joy in something draining me. I took karate classes at the same dojo for six years. You would probably think that any issues I had in these classes were physical, but several issues with people at the dojo caused me a lot of emotional upheaval. I should have walked away from the dojo and the toxic relationships, but I didn’t want to quit until the situation became unbearable and my family begged me to leave. I can look back now and be grateful for what I learned and how much stronger the situation made me, and I can also be grateful that I no longer am involved in it.

Be grateful for what has stayed. I am grateful for the good friends and family who are always there when I need them and for our shared joy. I am grateful for all the amazing things that I continue to be able to do.

Be grateful for what’s to come. Do you manifest what you want to see happen in your future? I have a sign on my desk that says, “Always believe something wonderful is about to happen.” It brings me joy to wonder what new adventure is waiting around the corner.

Every now and then I feel a little lost. Life becomes heavy, the emotions are swirling, and the negative voices are whispering in my ear. Running saves me and always has. It is something I can always count on to soothe me. It has helped me stay physically fit, but the effects it has had on my mental health have been even greater.

I am a crazy cross between an introvert and an extrovert. I love talking to people and listening to their stories, but at a certain point, I need to retreat to somewhere quiet to regroup and recharge. Running allows me to do that. I can head out for a run and let my mind go blank and rest. During a few miles, I can take in what is around me without having to assess emotions or react in any way. I can just be.

There have been a few tumultuous times in my life when I thought my feelings would overwhelm me, but I turned to running and found the peace I needed. I ran out anger and frustration when I didn’t understand my husband’s addiction, and I ran through my fear and sadness when my son had a brain operation when he was a week old. I have cried and laughed during runs, and always finished feeling better.

There is something restorative in nature, and that’s another reason that I enjoy heading out for a run. I can take in the beauty around me and running allows me to open myself up to the sounds and sights around me. I stay in our neighborhood on many of my runs, and this allows me to interact with all my neighbors. It also allows me to see things I might not normally have seen like the giant hawk that decided to rest for a few minutes on the neighbor’s mailbox. I was able to come mere feet from him to take a picture, and he could have cared less. He was majestic.

I receive so many gifts through running. The mornings when I manage to get up before dawn and the sky is full of stars is a gift. One morning, my neighbor was out with his dog and when I stopped for a drink he pointed out all the stars by name. I had a chance to share a quiet moment with him as he shared something he was passionate about. I love runs when a gentle rain is falling, or in the fall when the leaves are drifting past me. I always feel that I am experiencing something special on those runs.

Running also has saved me because of the connections it has allowed me to make. At every race, I meet at least one new person and runners are notoriously nice people. I have met my best friends through running, and I cannot imagine life without them.

I injured my knee last year, had an MRI, and went to the orthopedist for the diagnosis. When I came home I said to my husband, “I tore my meniscus.” I swear he went pale because he knew that meant no running for quite a while. Of course, I knew I would miss running, but I told myself I would run again. I had to believe that because running helps me so much with both my mental and physical health. A year later, I am so grateful to be running again and enjoying every minute!

There are a lot of great resources out there for writers, and I’m sure different ones work better depending on what type of writing you do, but here are a few that have been crucial for me.

Interacting with other writers

I have learned much from interacting with other writers and listening to advice and comments. You can do that through a blog or online sites. When you go to spots where authors are selling their books take some time to chat with them.

Some books with contacts and good advice

The Christian Writer’s Marget Guide by Steve Laube

The Children’s Writer’s and Illustrator’s Market

Writers’ and Artists’ Yearbook

Writer’s Market

Writer’s groups on Facebook

Writers helping writers https://www.facebook.com/groups/27659251025

Writers of Georgia https://www.facebook.com/groups/13405436233

The Writer’s Circle https://www.facebook.com/writerscircle

You can find many more by typing writer’s groups in the search bar.

Online sites

This site is a treasure trove! https://writershelpingwriters.net/resources-for-writers/

Writing magazines

Poets and Writers

Writer’s Digest

The Writer

Writers’ Forum

These are only a few resources, but I hope they help you.

If you have decided what you want to write, and what type of writer you will be the next step is to start the writing adventure. How to start can seem overwhelming to new writers, so here is an easy-to-follow process that I hope helps you.

· Find your content. There is material to write about everywhere. When you are around others actively listen to what they are saying. What are the topics of their conversations? Could you solve some of the problems they are talking about by writing about them? What do you notice around you? What are some issues in your community, or elsewhere that you would like to address? Do you want to share some personal experiences? Is there a story in the news you want to talk about? Would you like to highlight someone or something in your community? There are so many possibilities.

· Write great queries. Once you have written something a query is your attempt to sell it to an editor if having your work published is your goal. Research how to write one that looks professional highlights your quality as a writer, and can convince an editor that your story is good.

· Where will you find your audience? If you do not want to share your writing it can stay in your journal or computer, but if you would like to see it published there are a variety of spots where it can be shared. Every town has local newspapers and magazines. In the first few pages, there is a page called the masthead that lists the contacts and e-mail addresses. Write to the editors with your ideas. Most local media is always looking for good content, and this is a great way to be published. Go to bookstores and look in the magazine section. Which magazines have content that you could have written? Make sure your story is a good fit for that publisher. Trying to sell an article on the Best Way To Grow Lettuce would not be a good fit for A Dog’s Life magazine.

There are a lot of online platforms to write for. Here are a few.

Medium www.medium.com

Newsbreak www.newsbreak.com

Here is a link to many more opportunities https://www.jeffbullas.com/are-you-a-content-writer-10-amazing-sites-that-will-pay-you-for-your-writing/

· Keep good documentation. Keep track of what you have sent to whom and what response you received. Keep contact information updated, and definitely keep track of the income you are making from the writing.

· Keep learning and improving. Read writing books and interact with other authors. Ask questions. Facebook has some great writer’s groups to join.