Page 25 of 77

Posted on

The Typical Chaotic Blessings of Babysitting My Grandson

My oldest daughter has always said that when she had a baby she wanted me to retire from teaching to help her raise her child. I felt so honored that she would want me to help her, and three years ago when she was pregnant I agreed to retire. I did tell her that we needed some boundaries because as much as I wanted to be able to be a part of my grandson’s life, I also had some things I wanted to do in retirement, so I would watch Parker two days a week as well as some other times when she and her husband wanted some time to get away.

First, let me say I am incredibly blessed to have the opportunity to be with Parker, and let me also say that it’s helpful that I have a sense of humor because, between Parker and our Border Collie, a typical day is crazy chaos. Here is what a typical Parker day looks like.

· I wake up at 6 and head out for an early run before Parker comes. I run in my neighborhood, and on Parker mornings I only have an hour before I have to let the dog out and jump in the shower. Unfortunately, it’s those mornings when the neighbors all stop me on their way out to work to tell me things or ask if I have heard any good neighborhood gossip. I actually love talking with all of them, but it definitely shortens my run. I also am not a fan of running in the dark because we have creatures in our neighborhood. We have a bird that sounds like the pre-historic bird in Johnny Quest. (if you have never seen Johnny Quest you should check it out.) Yesterday, there was something in the bushes at the top of the street that was definitely in distress. I was praying it would not reveal itself. So, the start of my day is an attempt to run wrapped up in a hope for survival. Midway through my run my youngest comes out on the porch and wants me to approve her choice of work apparel which is usually from my closet.

· At 8, I release the Border Collie. Before we (okay I am the guilty one) brought Bandit into our home I knew nothing about Border Collies. Oh my lord, how can I describe this breed? The Tasmanian Devil because of the manic energy mixed with something unbelievably sweet and much smarter than I will ever be. He is amazing, but he is also a lot. He runs out on the porch, looks around stealthily deciding on what he should chase today because he will be chasing something, and then he is off at blazing speed. After he plays with each of his toys and three sticks we head inside where he howls near his bowl until I feed him.

· Parker comes at 8:45, so I shower and eat breakfast as quickly as possible. I’m not sure why but the Parker mornings when I cannot stray from his side (I have strayed and very bad things happened.) are the mornings when I feel like I have a huge list of things I need to do, but I know I need to enjoy my time with him, and the rest can wait.

· At 8:45, chaos arrives, and Bandit loses his mind because his buddy has arrived. Parker and Bandit were born a week apart, they have the same personality, and I hope they are friends for life. Parker first checks on all his trucks and cars and makes sure all his possible runways for the cars are clear. He then begins his many loops around the house with his ridiculously loud toy lawnmower. I tell everyone that you have to “Shoe up” when he is running with that because he is not stopping for your feet.

· During his day, he will consume at least one popsicle, throw all the dog’s tennis balls through the cat door to the basement, leave tiny cars everywhere, and in the five minutes when I have to go to the bathroom, he will put pennies in the DVD player, and decide to strum the guitar. The cat is oddly absent during his entire visit.

· He loves to play at my desk, and between being a writer and a teacher there are plenty of interesting things for him to discover. When he leaves I try to put everything back.

· Parker decided to be an escape artist last week. I have a routine where I put him down for a nap then I take out the dog and cut some lettuce for lunch. As I was in the garden, my husband stepped out and said, “Jen, Parker isn’t with you? I heard him running.” Parker had climbed out of the crib, walked down the stairs, pushed open the baby gate, opened the front door, walked down the stairs, and found us outside.

The Parker days are a little crazy especially when we go outside because it’s mostly me chasing him and praying he doesn’t face plant on the asphalt. There are actually a lot of prayers while I am watching him. I will say that I enjoy watching the Disney show Bluey, and I know how blessed I am to be a part of the crazy life of a toddler.

Posted on

Life Advice for My Children

If you had to pick a few pieces of advice to give to your children what would it be important to tell them? Here is a short list I would like my children to know.

  • Be positive. Being positive gives you power. No matter what happens to you, you have a choice about how to react, and when you react positively it affects both you and the people around you. It lifts people’s moods and affects how they interact with others.

When your mood is good you are more productive and creative.

Sending out positive energy can make good things happen. You have nothing to lose by stating that something good will happen even if it seems impossible. State what you want to happen. If you are about to go into a crowded restaurant say, “We will be seated right away.” Crazy things have happened since my family, and I started doing this.

  • Surround yourself with the right people. The right people are people you enjoy and who enjoy being around you. They are happy for your success and have your back when you need it. They make you laugh and save you when you feel lost. Walk away from anyone who feels toxic.
  • Push your limits. Be happy about who you are and what you have achieved but keep pushing farther. Learn more, move consistently, make connections, and explore new adventures.
  • Be kind. You can be a change-maker with kindness. There is so much hurt and need around us, and simple acts of kindness can help people and they are so easy to do. They also usually cause a domino effect, so your act of kindness can trigger others to do something too.
  • Keep Moving. Living a sedentary lifestyle will catch up to you eventually. Find an exercise you enjoy and do it at least three times a week.
  • Educate yourself financially. By the time you reach retirement, you want to have several sources of income to draw from during retirement. Those sources might be retirement funds, social security, savings, or investments. Consider finding a financial planner to help you.

What would you add to the list for your children?

Posted on

Don’t Marry a Fixer-Upper

If you think your partner is a mess, but you are sure you can turn him or her around once you are married, you might be disappointed. A significant other should not be a DIY project that you can renovate as you go. Chances are the structure you want will depend on the foundation you start with.

If your relationship is full of red flags from the beginning and you make excuses to your family and friends about your partner’s actions and personality you may be building a future on shaky ground.

What you are hoping for in a spouse and the reality before you should be separated before you are married.

Make sure to ask all the hard questions. Where does your partner stand on key issues? Does he or she have the same values, and hopes for the future? Do you both want children? How are the finances going to be handled? Trust me that you do not want to be surprised later.

Open your eyes to how your partner operates day to day. Reflect on what you want and need in a spouse. What are the deal breakers? Do you see any potential character flaws that could lead to those deal-breakers?

No one is perfect, and a few flaws can be endearing, but you want to spend your life with someone who will make you happy, guard your back, and cheer you on with your endeavors. To do that, your partner needs to see beyond me to us because that is how the strongest unions are formed.

Posted on

The Movie Overcomers/A Movie that highlights running

A friend recommended the movie Overcomers to me because she knows how much I love to run. She told me it was more than a story about a runner. It was a story about running and what it can do. I was amazed at how right she was. Without giving away any important plot points let me tell you how it defines running.

Forgiveness

Running brings out the good in people. It heals people in different ways, and sometimes that healing comes through reflection. In the movie, several people have some people they need to forgive and running leads them there.

Learning about yourself

Several of the characters in the movie have some personal exploration and self-discovery to do, and they take that journey through running. I have learned so much about myself during my years as a runner, and I have heard many other stories of self-discovery.

Finding a purpose

We can all feel a little lost if we don’t have a purpose in our life. It can be even worse if the purpose we thought defined us is taken away. Several characters have to redefine their identity and their purpose.

We need personal connections

We need each other. Our connections are key in our lives. In the movie, a few of the connections have hit a rough patch, and need to be healed.

Push through barriers and limits

One of the things I love about running is the chance to push your body to the limit and try to keep going. You learn so much about your mental abilities while you try to improve your physical strength. Two of the characters have to keep pushing their limits.

Another thing I love about running is the inspiration I see all around me. It is a no-excuse sport. I see people with medical issues who refuse to let that issue hold them back. They push through what people label as impossible to prove the possibilities. There is a lot of inspiration in this movie.

Follow a plan

Runners know that the best way to crush a challenge is to follow a plan. You can train your body to do almost anything. Plan it out and execute it.

Spirituality

I define spirituality as a connection to a higher power. Running is spiritual for me. I feel a connection to the world around me when I run. I can feel the energy from nature filling me as the miles fly by me. Spirituality plays a role in this movie.

I hope you have a chance to watch Overcomers. I loved it. It has several serious themes, but it is funny as well. One of my favorite parts is when each member of the family decides to go out and run the three-mile cross-country loop because they are certain it will be a piece of cake, and each one finishes exhausted. They each say, “Why would anyone do that?” By the end of the movie, all of the characters see the importance of running.

Posted on

My Favorite Health and Beauty Products

I love hearing about great products, especially when the recommendation is from an actual user and not someone benefitting from the product review. I also find that as I have aged, I need more products to help with my maintenance. Here are a few that work for me.

Hair

Kenra Platinum Pearl detangler and leave-in conditioner

The first day I used this I received two compliments on my hair because not only does it do an amazing job of detangling your hair, it also leaves a beautiful shine, and it doesn’t weigh your hair down.

L’Oreal Pro longer shampoo and conditioner

I had complained to my hairdresser that since my hair was longer I was having trouble finding a shampoo that cleaned my hair well. I also needed a conditioner that didn’t weigh my hair down. These products have been wonderful. My hair feels clean and bouncy, but not frizzy.

L’oreal Techni art finishing spray and hair spray

The finishing spray gets rid of frizz without leaving your hair stiff or sticky. The hair spray delivers the hold you might be looking for.

Skincare

No 7 Future Renew Serum and No 7 Protect and Perfect

The No 7 products are amazing. I noticed a difference with the serum in a week. My skin looked brighter and clearer, and the redness was less noticeable. There is a Protect and Perfect cream as well as a hand cream. The hand cream makes your hands feel so good.

Witch Hazel

I use witch hazel as a toner. It has kept my skin clear.

Vaseline

I have had some issues with skin cancer, and within the last year, my dermatologist has been telling me to use Vaseline to heal any spots that have been removed.

Miracle Oil by Pure Romance

Pure Romance has some amazing beauty products. In my opinion, the best is the miracle oil. It is a combination of essential oils, and it heals cuts and bruises quickly. I also use it as a moisturizer. I had Moh’s surgery on my shoulder and I had been using the oil. When I went back for a follow-up appointment the dermatologist was surprised to see how quickly it had healed.

Body boost

Body Boost is also by Pure Romance. It’s a rich cream that has caffeine in it. It takes my face a few minutes to wake up, and I need a good moisturizer first thing in the morning, so Body Boost has been great. I use it on my face and hands.

Aveeno Tone and Texture cream

I use this all over my body. It is such a rich cream that it feels amazing, and I don’t have to reapply moisturizer during the day.

Lancôme Absolue Eye Cream

This Christmas, Lancôme was having a sale, so I tried the eye cream. I love it! Watch for sales or look for samples at Macy’s.

Cicalfate by Avène

Because of the skin cancer, I have some small scars and this scar cream is amazing.

SCS Advanced Scar Gel

Another very good scar cream.

Teeth

Mint Instant Purple toothpaste

This works! I was skeptical, so I was surprised to see a difference in the color of my teeth. It is a little pricey, but if it makes you feel better and you can afford it I would try it.

Eyes

Optase Cleansing Wipes

I developed a clogged spot on my eyelashes. When I went to the eye doctor he told me to use these wipes. They feel cool and have green tea in them, so they feel great on your eyes.

Essential oils

I believe that essential oils can go a long way in improving our health. Here are a few I use.

After a shower, I put several different oils on my feet and rubbed them with peppermint foot cream. I use Turmeric, Balance, Frankincense, peppermint, and OnGuard.

Several years ago, I started to develop a ringing in my ears, and a friend recommended putting lavender behind my ears before I went to bed. The ringing went away, and I haven’t had any since. I sprinkle lavender and peppermint on my pillow at night because I love the smell and lavender will help you sleep.

I diffuse an oil called Breathe, and I cannot remember the last time I had a cold. It smells amazing.

Makeup

I love anything by Elf. The products are affordable, and they work.

I discovered a primer by Bobbi Brown that is amazing.

Stay Matte is a great product to reduce shine.

I went to a makeover once at a department store, and the makeup artist told me to never buy the expensive brands because Maybelline and Cover Girl were just as good. What do you think?

I hope one of these products fills a need for you, and I would love to hear about products that have worked for you.

Posted on

The Importance of Family Dinners

When I was growing up we always ate dinner as a family. It was our chance to share our days and tell each other our stories. I always thought family dinners brought a sense of comfort, but I never realized how important they were until I became a parent myself.

We decided when we had children that no matter what we would sit down together for dinner. Throughout the years it has been a chance to take some time to be together as a family. Our children always had a chance to tell us what had happened during the day. We also took them out to dinner often to teach them how to behave, and I always smiled when they saw a child who was not behaving. They would say, “Someone needs to teach him how to act.”

Eating as a family provides opportunity and encouragement to share and listen to others. Eating together helps children gain confidence in developing and expressing their thoughts.

Research shows that the more children eat dinner with family, the less likely they are to drink, smoke, or use drugs. Perhaps that is because they feel part of a community where they are heard and included.

Dinner together provides opportunities for safe discussion. When several generations are included, everyone can hear stories from the past and feel they are included in a multigenerational unit.

Posted on

10 Reasons to Keep Writing

1) Your words are powerful, and they can make a difference. Have you ever been having a bad day and when you look on social media you find just the words you need to soothe you? What an amazing gift it is to lift someone with your words, and as an author you have that chance. Your words can soothe, convince, incense, and educate. Who wouldn’t want to do that?

2) You only need one yes to be published. I have received so many rejections over the years, and because I am so sensitive most of them still sting. When you receive a rejection tell yourself two things. First, that is only one voice judging your work, and not accepting it does not mean that your writing is trash. Many famous writers received rejections. Secondly, remember that it doesn’t matter how many people say no. What matters is when someone says yes, and it’s a good fit for you. Sometimes, you need to say no to the yes because it is not the best fit.

3) Using writing as a form of expression is healthy. Writing is a great way to release your thoughts and feelings. It’s free therapy for both you and your readers. When I look at Stephen King’s photo on his books I always think that it’s a good thing he is a writer because he looks to me like he could be a potential serial killer if he didn’t have a way to release all his thoughts and plots.

4) You will make amazing connections with your writing.

Writing is both a private and public activity. Your thought process and writing might be in a quiet room at 3 a.m., but when you release your writing It becomes very public. As a writer, you have to market yourself, so I have met a lot of interesting people at vendor events and speaking events. Interacting with other writers is also a learning experience and a great way to make connections.

5) The more you practice your craft the more you can perfect it. Every writer wants to be the best he can be, and to do that he has to practice working with words as well as taking a good look at his writing and reflecting on how to improve it. Reading also helps a writer improve.

6) You will keep your brain strong. Science proves that we must regularly stimulate our brain to keep it strong. Writing makes us reflect on a myriad of topics, and we need to focus on how we form our writing.

7) You can leave a legacy with your writing. A French writer, Ronsard wrote a poem, Il faut Laisser Maisons, which translates to It is Necessary to Leave Houses. What he meant was we need to leave traces of ourselves behind so we will be remembered. Our writing is a way to remember us and what we stood for.

8) You can be an inspiration for another writer. How do you know that you haven’t already encouraged other people to start writing? Someone might decide to follow a passion because you led the way.

9) Writing can be a gift to someone who needs to be celebrated. As a writer, you can write about someone special and tell the world about her. We need to celebrate each other, and writing is a way to do that.

10) If you are like me you have to write because it gives you peace and because you have all sorts of ideas tapping at the edge of your brain demanding to come out. Writing is something you have to do even when you have one of those days when you question whether you should do it.

Posted on

Own Your Day

 

I believe completely in the idea that although we can’t always know what will happen to us each day, we do have a choice about how we react to what happens. Adjusting our attitude, staying rooted in positivity, and seeing the good side of a situation can not only change a situation but it can also change your whole day. You have the power to own your day.

You might ask why it is important to stay positive while your day feels like it should be in a disaster movie, so here are a few reasons why it makes a difference.

· Positivity is power. There are days when so many things are going wrong that you feel like you have to choose between laughing or crying. When you keep a positive attitude you are also maintaining control of the situation which makes you powerful. You can choose how you react, and choice gives you power. My morning started off a little shaky. I wanted to get up early to run because I had an early appointment, but the covers dragged me in longer since I knew how cold it was outside. As I headed out, I was carrying a cup of coffee and a can of seltzer I was going to put in the mailbox while I ran around the neighborhood. I tried to open the mailbox, but it was slightly stuck from the cold, and I dropped the open can of seltzer. As I tried to save it the coffee splashed everywhere. I could have started the oh, woe is me lament, but instead, I said, “Oh, Well.” And headed inside for a fresh drink.

· Your attitude could make you a change-maker. You might be the inspiration and the catalyst for change others need. If they see you handling difficult situations with ease, it might make them consider improving their attitude as well. I used to always tell my students that they were in control of their day. If someone or something had thrown negativity at them it was up to them to turn it around.

When my children were 14, 11, and 3, we had one of the roughest starts to the day I can remember. My husband was away on business, and I had a small window of time to get the three-year-old to day care and return to take the other two to school with me.

I had the three-year-old all ready to go and I was heading up the stairs to wake up the other two when I heard my daughter open her door and scream. I’m pretty sure that’s not a signal for a good start in anyone’s book. When I reached the top of the stairs, I saw that the dog had pooped all along the hall, (it was a long hall) and when I opened my son’s door I saw that the dog had thrown up behind the door. I picked up the youngest who was moving toward the poop, and I noticed the other two were looking at me waiting for my reaction. I said, “You know, I have meetings all day, so I’m not sure when I can come back and clean this, but, oh well, I’ll be back after I drop off Katie.”

When I returned I was surprised to see that not only were they ready to go, but they had also cleaned up the whole mess and all I needed to do was run the steam cleaner that night. I felt so much better about the reaction I had than the one I think my children expected.

Here are a few ways that you can own your day.

· Whenever it’s possible laugh at the pitfalls. If you get worked up over everything that doesn’t go perfectly it will only raise your stress level. Laugh at it instead and keep moving.

· Have an attitude of gratitude. When you start to have a pity party remember that it could be worse.

· Start the day off right. Starting the day in a pleasant way will leave you with that memory for the rest of the day.

· Disconnect from everything at some point during the day. I don’t know if you watch the amazing show called Bluey, but the mom says, “Sometimes, you just need 20 minutes without speaking.”

Start tomorrow knowing you have the power to own your day. It is your decision every day.

Posted on

Mental Health and Running

No one would argue that running is a great sport to help us get fit and healthy. Physical benefits range from heart health, strengthening and toning the body, and weight loss. The physical benefits are so obvious that we might forget that the mental health effects are just as evident.

In the article, Whole Brain Health, Amrita Sharma PhD says, “When we do high-intensity exercise our heart rate increases, supplying more blood flow to the brain. The increased heart rate also increases our breathing, making us breathe harder and faster. As a result, more oxygen is supplied in our bloodstream, and more oxygen reaches our brains. This leads to neurogenesis, which is the production of neurons. Research has indicated that physical Exercise increases neurogenesis in the hippocampus, a brain area important for learning and memory. Additionally, Exercise also influences the neurotrophins, it’s the family of proteins that aids in neuron survival, development, and function. This leads to greater brain plasticity and as a result better memory and learning. Regular physical activity lowers the risk of developing cognitive impairment, such as dementia, including Alzheimer’s disease. This improvement from the exercise is for people with normal and also impaired cognitive health, including people with ADHD, schizophrenia, multiple sclerosis, Parkinson’s disease, and stroke.”

Matt Vilardo tells how his running journey started when his dad asked him to come for a run. He thought this was odd because his dad was not a runner, but he went and enjoyed that time with his dad. The next day, Matt’s dad died in the attack on the Trade Center. He has used running to deal with depression and anxiety ever since. He says that running helps him to be a better husband and dad. Here is what he says about running. “According to the National Institute of Mental Health, nearly one in five Americans will suffer from a mental illness during their lifetime. I view running as a strong, first-line treatment for many problems that we face today. In fact, in other countries, exercise is used as a first-line medical treatment as opposed to just prescribing a pill. And that’s not to say that there aren’t many, many circumstances that require more than just physical exercise, but if you can combine running into your treatment, the benefits will be amplified.” You can read Matt’s story here. https://www.stillirun.org/post/how-running-for-mental-health-helped-me-through-grief-and-depression?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI4MjgprbEgwMVpJ9aBR1VkwOPEAAYAiAAEgII_vD_BwE

Can exercise be medicine? The answer for myself would be yes. Running has always been what I turned to when life became overwhelming. It has been a healthy escape and a way to calm my stress. Sometimes I just need to get away from everything and recharge.

Running is restorative. There is something spiritual about being out in nature. I can work out problems, or I can think about nothing. I have had friends comment that I smile when I run, and that is proof to me that running makes me happy.

Running is a mood booster because you can see a transformation in your body if you are consistent, and the physical improvements will improve your mental health.

I am the most creative when I am out running, which isn’t always convenient. Something about running opens my mind, and I come up with tons of ideas for writing.

Running can also provide an individual with community. We can feel more connected and supported when we have friends.

I am so thankful for running because it has kept me sane in the tougher times. I hope more people will give it a try.

References

Whole Brain Health by Amrita Sharma PhD, July 2020 https://wholebrainhealth.org/exercise-and-brain-health/?gad_source=1&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI4MjgprbEgwMVpJ9aBR1VkwOPEAAYASAAEgJ45fD_BwE

Posted on

15 Reminders for 2024

There are many tips I know I should follow, and I have good intentions to do that, but sometimes I need a reminder. Do you feel that way too? I will read something inspirational on social media and say, “Oh, that’s so true. I need to remember that. Here are a few that I will hang in my office to do my best to live my best 2024.

Worry is wasted energy. I am a worrier, but I am working hard on recovering from it because I know how it can drain your energy and hurt your mental and physical health. If you work yourself into a state of anxiety you aren’t much good to anyone, and what you are worried about might not even happen.

I deserve good people around me. Why do we give second chances to people who are toxic to us? Spend your time with positive people who enjoy spending time with you. Walk away from negativity and hatefulness. You deserve better.

What I put into my body determines my health. We can make excuses all day long, but until we take responsibility for how we fuel our bodies we will have health issues, including feeling sluggish and unmotivated.

I shouldn’t judge anyone else until I’m perfect. (so, never!) none of us have perfect lives even though we try to portray our lives like that on social media. We don’t have any right to judge someone else when we have junk of our own.

I will not compare myself to others. Social media can stomp on your self-esteem when you see others who seem to have it all figured out while you aren’t there yet. Everyone is struggling with something, and you might not want to trade burdens with someone else.

Boundaries are important. Speak up for yourself when it comes to what you accept from others. Communicate clear boundaries.

Time spent on mental and physical health is always a good idea. Do what brings you peace and be intentional on working on your health.

Doing nothing sometimes is productive. Resting well and taking time to recharge can make you stronger and more productive.

Laughter is healing. It is difficult to stay sad when you are laughing.

Do what makes you happy. Don’t worry what others say about what makes you happy. Life is too short not to have fun.

Unplug sometimes. Sometimes we can be too connected and putting all our devices away can give us time to recharge.

Connecting with nature is good for you. There is something basic about being outside. It’s spiritual.

Love is a great response. Love feels so much better than hate

Kindness is a superpower. You can change someone’s life with kindness.

Travel makes you better. Travel can educate you, and make important connections for you.