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The Power Of Your Response

There is a lot of tension in our country at the moment, and it is reflected in our social media. There are even more incendiary posts than normal, and the responses have intrigued me.

I am so grateful to live in America where I have freedom of speech. I believe everyone is entitled to an opinion, but the reflection and research behind that opinion matters, as well as the way the opinion is expressed.

I read a post that warned people about using reactionary speech. When I hear the word reactionary it makes me think of a response that is given without reflection. It is driven by emotion, not thought. This type of reaction can be dangerous because we often discover later that we should have looked for more information or took a deep breath before jumping to a reaction. I had a situation recently when the illustrator for my children’s book sent me illustrations that were unacceptable. It was obvious they had been hastily done, and even though I gave very specific instructions for edits, those changes were not made. My daughter began to tell me how awful they looked, and I let my emotions escalate the situation. After calming down, I realized it was only several things that needed to be changed, so I sent another request for edits. Reactionary responses rarely end up well.

I saw a beautiful reaction to a social media post yesterday. A woman said, “If this is true, this is unacceptable to me.” Another woman claimed it was fake news. The first woman had researched the topic and respectfully replied, “I don’t think so. I researched it and found it to be true. What is your evidence that it is fake news?” There was no reply, but that is the way we should be able to discuss topics. We need to control our emotions, research the topics, and discuss them with respect.

Silence doesn’t seem like a response, but not saying anything can seem like acceptance, and that can be dangerous too. I like to take a minute to see both sides, and to hear the whole story before I react, but there are times when we have to make our voices heard to maintain the quality of life and values we enjoy in our country.

Words are so powerful, and they have consequences and repercussions. Ignorant, hateful speech will only cause more issues than we already have. If we can unite as a nation, I know we can do great things.  

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10 Steps to Weight Loss

10 Steps to Weight loss

Drink up.

Water is a great way to fill up when you are hungry between meals. Water is proven to help with fatigue and weight loss, so drink up!

Eat more often.

People often think the answer to weight loss is to cut back on what you eat, but at a certain point, (your setpoint) your body goes into survival mode if you are not taking in enough calories. Cutting back too much also leads to binging. Eat small portions every few hours to keep your blood sugar level. Eating regularly will help with fatigue too.

Control portions.

When we go to restaurants, my husband cuts his meal in half, and has the second half for lunch the next day. Eat slowly and stop when you are full.

Eliminate the temptations.

There are certain foods that I cannot buy because if I do, I will eat the entire bag. If you know there are foods like that for you, don’t buy them, or limit them to special occasions.

Move more.

Moving doesn’t have to be time intensive or painful, but it is important to not be sedentary. Have fun with movement. Dance in the kitchen, chase your children, or walk the dog and gossip with the neighbors.

Be prepared.

Have meals planned ahead of time so that when you come home from work you don’t eat everything in site before you even think of dinner. Bring healthy snacks to work or school.

Eliminate empty calories.

There are calories that you don’t realize you are consuming. Every soda is 150 calories. When you add heavy cream to your tea or coffee that is more calories. Just a handful of candy becomes several handfuls and becomes 500 calories. The little things you don’t think about will add up to weight gain.

Be mental.

You have to be strong mentally to do great things physically. Keep your why for weight loss in sight. It’s okay to have a bad day, but don’t let that bad day become a bad week. Stay consistent in your efforts. Take small steps and be patient.

Set some goals.

Have some attainable goals for yourself. A goal could be cutting back on sugar, being able to climb stairs without feeling out of breath, being able to chase your children, losing weight, and being healthier.

Eat fresh.

There are a lot of additives and preservatives in the food we buy in the grocery store. Eat fresh produce when you can. I started gardening to eat fresh and to save some money. I had no idea gardening would be good for my mental health too. If you live in a small space, garden with pots and other containers.

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10 Ways to Keep Your Sparkle Shining

Are there days when you feel like you are a diamond glittering in the light, and then others when your sparkle has been dimmed? We all have both kinds of days, but here are ten ways to insure you have more days when your light shines brightly.

  • Block out the noise. Interactions with others can be energy drainers, and navigating a variety of personalities can be difficult. Everyone has an opinion, and sometimes what people say can leave you shaking your head in disbelief.

I am a people pleaser and a conflict avoider, so I often do my best to not escalate a situation by arguing or responding to a crazy comment. What I have learned is my chances of changing someone’s attitude are slim, but I don’t have to internalize what was said to me. We need to know our own truth and know that because someone has a negative opinion of us doesn’t make it so. Don’t listen to the crazy voices telling you how you should be and instead be yourself.

  • Seek out good people. I decided to be more focused on choosing good people to be around me. I started adding friends on social media who were friends with the people I enjoy the most. I can feel a positive shift already. I have also eliminated a few people who are not really my friends. I’m adopting an attitude of quality not quantity when it comes to friends.
  • Let go of toxic. I have held on to bad relationships or been in bad situations way too long. I always think I can fix the person or the situation. I worked with several women who were hateful. I kept wondering if it was something I was doing, but when I would tell my husband the situation, he would say, “Jen, they are mean. Stay away from them.” Have you ever been in a job you hate, but you stay there because you tell yourself it will become better, but it never does? Are you in a relationship that doesn’t make you happy, but you don’t want to leave because you have invested so much time? It might be time to throw out the toxic.
  • Do what fills you and choose joy.  Do what makes you happy no matter who judges you for it. I have a friend who likes to ride her bike around her neighborhood at midnight. When she told a friend, the friend thought that was crazy. People will judge you no matter what, so go ahead and have fun!
  • Draw your boundaries. Others will take advantage of you if you do not let them know what you consider to be okay, and what you refuse to accept.
  • Spread kindness and encouragement. Spreading kindness and encouragement helps increase your shine. You can feel it becoming brighter with every new act of kindness you perform.
  • Do something epic. Anytime you do something extraordinary it makes your light shine brighter and inspires others.
  • Laugh a lot. Laughter is healing, it recharges us, and it is contagious. What a great way to spread your light.
  • Run away and recharge. We all need to regroup and recharge sometimes. If I’m feeling this way, I curl up under some blankets and nap or read.
  • Go outside and disconnect. Nature has energy and it’s a great way to connect with the beauty around us. It’s also important to disconnect from technology sometimes because it can be a drain on our shine.

I hope these ten ideas help you shine brighter!

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5 Ways to Be Badass

Keep rising back up

A badass might be knocked down, but she always rises back up. She will not accept defeat, and she stays positive with her eyes on the goal.

Believe you will win

A badass has the spirit of a champion. She believes she will accomplish great things, and if she falls short, she learns from the experience, and comes back stronger. She is patient as she works toward what she knows she can achieve.

Encourage others

A badass knows there is enough happiness and success for everyone, and she does her best to encourage others to achieve dreams, and she pushes competitors to be better.

Sees excuses as dream killers

A badass knows that excuses are really only fear of failure, and if you don’t step out of your comfort zone, you will miss out on some amazing experiences.

Do hard things

You have to step out of your comfort zone to be badass. A badass wants to keep improving and growing and that means doing things that are difficult.

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Can You Communicate with Your Dog?

Do you think communication between humans and animals is possible? If you say no, you should watch the video about the man who taught his dog sign language, or one of the many videos about teaching vocabulary with recordings that the dog can push. Would you be surprised if I told you communication is even simpler than that? Let me tell you about my dog.

Three years ago, my neighbor Lynn, who is a dog trainer, rescued a Border Collie, and asked if we would take him. I didn’t know anything about this breed, but when I met four-month-old Bandit, he ran straight to me, and my heart was lost. The next three days were a little rough because I soon discovered how much energy Border Collies have, and Bandit was acting just like the toddler he was. I also realized how smart he was, and I told Lynn I wasn’t sure I was good enough for him. She gave me wonderful advice when she said, “Talk to him. He’ll figure out what you are saying.”  

I worked consistently on commands, and I talked to him constantly. I would tell him what we were going to do, and where we were going. He went through a phase around two-years-old when even though he heard my command, he would try to ignore me. I would say, “I know you hear me!”

I am amazed now at how many vocabulary words and phrases he knows. If I say, “Go find your bone.” He perks up and takes off to find it, and always comes back with it. If I say, “We are going in the back.” He tears off to the back yard. If he is not sure what you are saying, he turns his head as if to listen better.

Some communication is through physical cues. I know he is scared when he moves in between my legs for safety. He wants attention when he comes over and plops his head on my lap.

I am amazed at how much he can read my emotions. He knows when I’m sad or tired, and that is when he wants to give kisses, or sit on my lap.

It’s possible to not be open to communication with an animal. My husband does not feel a connection to Bandit, and I have had to explain why he does some things. Sometimes, if we go out the front door, Bandit tears off into the woods behind our neighbor’s house. The first time my husband saw this, he started to freak out. I told him, “Honey, it’s okay. He’s running off the crazy. He’ll come back” As I said that Bandit came trotting back to us. My husband said, “Oh.”  

The possibilities for communication are endless, so have some fun and learn together.

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8 Easy Desserts

8 Easy Desserts

Sometimes the best food is the easiest to make, especially when you need something that won’t heat up the kitchen or take to long to make. Here are a few I think you might like.

Pineapple with caramel dip

Slice up a pineapple, put pieces on toothpicks and warm the pineapple and some caramel sauce in the microwave for 30 seconds, or until both are warm. Dip the pineapple in the caramel sauce and enjoy!

Banana boat with chocolate

Cut out a square of foil big enough for a banana. Place the banana on top, slice it length wise and put squares of Hershey chocolate in the middle. Wrap the banana, leaving the top open. Put it in a 350-degree oven until the chocolate melts. Add ice cream or whip or eat it plain.

Strawberries and chocolate dip

Buy a box of baking chocolate and melt the chocolate in the microwave. Dip strawberries in the chocolate with forks.

Oranges and cinnamon

Peel several oranges and put the pieces on a plate. Sprinkle the oranges with just a little cinnamon.

Root beer floats

Frost some mugs in the freezer then fill the mugs with ice cream and pour root bear over it.

Make your own Sundaes

Make a sundae bar with all the toppings you love and make a personalized sundae.

Banana pudding

Make banana pudding from a package, slice up bananas and leave in freezer until it is ready. Add vanilla wafers.

S’mores

Use graham crackers as your sandwich and put marshmallows and chocolate in the middle, and put in the microwave until everything melts.

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10 Easy Ways to Be Healthier

Being healthy doesn’t have to be rocket science or painful. A healthier you is possible with some easy habits. Here are ten to get you on your way to healthy.

  • Drink water. I have to confess that water is not my favorite beverage, but I did an experiment last week to see if it could affect me as much as I heard it could. I have been bloated and tired lately. I decided to drink nothing but water for a week, (except for morning coffee). I started my day drinking a whole glass of water. I drank several more glasses throughout the day and filled up my running bottle for my run.

At the end of day one I did not feel tired, I wasn’t hungry for my 3 o’clock snack, but I still felt bloated. By the end of the week, I lost 3 pounds, didn’t feel bloated, and had more energy.

I watched a documentary with Zack Efron and Darin Olien which explores the world of food called Down to Earth. It is fascinating and it’s on Netflix. In one episode, they learn about water. Did you know that purified water is not good for you? Water has to have minerals to be healthy for us.

  • Eat more vegetables and fruit. Even if you don’t like many vegetables, the way you prepare them can change your mind. I didn’t like squash, but I grew some in my garden and cooked it with olive oil and garlic in a sauce pan and it was amazing.

I decided to start eating a more plant-based diet when I heard a doctor describing how harmful meat was to us. I still eat meat now and then, but I don’t have it very often. It is easy to make a salad with lots of vegetables. You can toss in peanuts for protein and have your favorite fruit for dessert. After a month of doing this, I noticed my complexion looked better. One yummy idea for a fruit dessert is to put a plate of pineapple in the microwave for 30 seconds and then dip the pieces in caramel sauce. I had this for the first time at a Disney restaurant.

  • Move. It doesn’t matter what you do as long as you stand up and move for about 30 minutes a day.
  • Rest well. We should give our body and mind a chance to heal, so put down your phone or computer, turn off the television, and rest.
  • Laugh. Laughter is a powerful medicine. My husband has a child’s laughter as his phone’s ringtone. It’s impossible not to smile when you hear it. Watch funny reels or spend some time with the people who make you smile.
  • Go outside. There is energy in nature that can replenish your soul. Listen to all the sounds, watch what is happening around you, and breathe in all the scents.
  • Check your attitude. Your attitude can affect everything so keep it positive. Your mental health has a connection to your physical health.
  • Evaluate your health honestly. Take some time to think about where you are with your health. Could you improve anything, and what do you have to do to make those improvements?
  • Ditch the excuses. Excuses are roadblocks to your success, and they are usually based in fear. You can be healthier, so start now.
  • Do all of the above consistently. Consistency is the key to success. My amazing husband is stuck in a bad spiral. He starts working out slowly telling me he has to ease into it. He works out for 2 weeks then finds an excuse to stop for several weeks, and the circle begins again.
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Making Movement Fun

Movement is medicine. We were not meant to sit on a couch staring at a screen for hours. Think about how you feel after you have been doing that for awhile. You stand up and you feel creaky because you haven’t moved. Movement is one of the keys to being healthy, and it can be fun. The first thing you have to do though is stop finding excuses, and see the benefits instead. Here are a few ways to sneak movement into your daily life without having to dread it.

Dance. I know if you are like me you are thinking this isn’t possible because you have no rhythm and you also have no desire to look foolish, but you can dance in your own kitchen where no one will judge your dance moves. Get your friends and family involved and watch everyone’s moods improve as the room fills with laughter. 

Before my grandson could walk I would turn on Rick Astley and Never Gonna Give You Up and swirl him around the kitchen in my arms. I loved hearing him laugh as we zigzagged through the house.

If you do have some dance skills, why not sign up for a dance class, or try a Zumba class at the gym?

Go for a walk. You don’t have to keep up a blistering pace to reap the benefits of a walk. Ask some friends or neighbors to join you since the time goes by faster when you are talking.

Garden. I was surprised when two neighbors told me they wished they had a garden. One said she was afraid nothing would grow. I told her if I could grow a garden, so could she. I plant a seed and if it doesn’t grow, I plant some more. Eventually, it works out. Why does fear of failure hold us back from beautiful things so often? The other neighbor said she did not have room. I introduced her to container gardening which is just planting in pots. As long as you have soil, seeds, and water, you can grow things.

Gardening is more strenuous than you would think. you have to tend to it by pulling weeds, eliminating certain bugs, and trimming here and there. It is also a great stress reliever. 

Play like a child. What did you like to do when you were a child? I loved to swim and ride my bike. I don’t do either competitively, I splash around in the pool and cruise around the neighborhood on my bike. Did you enjoy baseball? Invite some people over to play catch.

Catch lightening bugs with the neighborhood kids. This is one of my memories from childhood. We would run after the bugs and put them in mason jars, and watch them light up. we let them go and chased after another set.

Play with your dog. If you have a Border Collie like I do, this isn’t a choice, It is a given, but throwing a ball or frisbie and just playing is still movement.

I hope these ideas start you on your way to being more active. Have fun!

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10 Things to Know About Your First Ultra-Marathon

I did my first ultra-marathon, (anything more than 26.2 miles) in 2016. Shortly before that I had laughed when someone had suggested a race longer than a marathon, but now it is my favorite distance. The ultra community is the most inclusive, helpful, and friendliest running community I know. I love ultras because you can ultra your way which means you choose which kind and what distance, and you choose how you are going to cover that distance.

Ultras have taught me a lot about running and about myself. I have made a ton of mistakes, but they have all taught me lessons. Recently, several people have asked me what to expect at your first ultra. I am giving advice for the average runner. I know at every race there are people who inspire us to do better, and never seem to stop. Here are 10 things that most of us need to know at our first ultra.

  • It’s not about speed. At least it’s not for 90% of the people in the race. There are always super fit people who can run fast for what feels like forever, but for most of us it is more about endurance and pacing.
  • Walking counts and is a great idea most of the time. An ultra is more about the distance covered than it is about how you got there. A mile is a mile, and you won’t receive judgment on how you choose to cover it.
  • Eat something every hour. I always eat half of a peanut butter sandwich before the race, and then I eat 200-300 calories every hour.
  • Take care of your feet and your stomach. I rub my feet with Vaseline before I put my socks on to avoid blisters, and I reapply it around the 50K (31 miles) mark. I had to stop several times because of nausea, and I learned the importance of regularly drinking electrolytes. I also have ginger chews, but I don’t normally need them.  
  • It’s okay to take a break. This is one of the mental hurdles you will face at your first ultra because a runner who does smaller distances doesn’t understand the concept of resting, but when you hit a wall, you can probably get a second wind after a few minutes.
  • Ask the veterans for advice. You will meet some of the coolest people at ultras, and they all have great advice and stories.
  • Be mentally tough. I had imposter syndrome at my first ultra. I didn’t think I belonged. I didn’t think I was good enough to be an ultra-runner. You are good enough, and if you believe you can run an ultra, you can.
  • Know what terrain you will be on. Ultras are run on all types of terrains, so that will determine training and what kind of shoes you wear.
  • Pickle juice is a game changer. Pickle juice is available in any sports store, and it is used to decrease muscle soreness.
  • Have a first aid kit. There are quite a few things that might happen which will require a basic first aid kit.
  • Run with someone. This makes the time go by faster, and it helps you develop your connections with the ultra-running community.

There are a few others I could add, but the most important is to have fun and learn from the experience. During my first race, I asked everyone for advice and I came away with some important tips.

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10 Shots of Inspiration

Do you ever have those days when the arrows or maybe daggers of the words people throw at you have pierced your mental armor? Do you wish your best friend was next to you to lift you up?

Here are 10 shots of inspiration you can use to heal mentally and rise back up to be the force you need to be.

  • Don’t allow others to limit or diminish you. When others start sentences with you should or shouldn’t and finish with how they think you should live your life, when they interrupt you mid-sentence as if what you say doesn’t matter, or they treat your dreams as foolish or insignificant, those are attempts to limit or diminish you. I say they are attempts because you do not have to accept that treatment. A friend recently put a quote on social media that resonated with me. It said, “Many people have benefited from you playing small most of your life. That chapter is done. Step into who you are. Take up space.”
  • Kindness and other positive energy will flow back to you. Everyone can use some kindness, and kindness has the power to make you happy. Whatever energy you send out will boomerang right back to you, so keep the positivity flowing.
  • You can always choose joy. No matter what your circumstances are, you have control about how you react to those circumstances. Sometimes, you have to dig deep to find the joy, but it’s always there.
  • Practice gratitude. God has a way of ending any pity party I was having by putting someone in front of me who is struggling with a challenge much greater than anything I could imagine. Make a list of everything you are grateful for. I hope it is a long list.
  • Stop relying on others for your happiness. If you are waiting for others to make you happy, you will eventually be disappointed because you are the only one who knows exactly what you need.
  • Reconnect with whatever fills you. It could be your faith, nature, community, or something else. I know prayer has energy that calms me, and nature has an energy that always fills me. When I’m upset, I go for a run and soak up the beauty around me. I also use gardening to reconnect. I sing and talk to the plants, and I swear it helps them grow better.
  • Close the door on negative thoughts. We can be so hard on ourselves, and it is easy to allow self-defeating thoughts to take over. Change them to positive ones.
  • Believe you are capable. Something is only impossible until you do it. Even if those close to you tell you your dream is out of reach, keep moving towards it. Success might be a second away.
  • Use music to heal. There is an episode of the cartoon Bluey where everyone is in a bad mood. The mom says, “Okay, we are all playing dancing characters.” It’s a cross between red light, green light and musical chairs. The person in charge plays the music, the others dance until the person in charge stops the music and everyone has to freeze. One by one everyone’s mood started to improve, so dance in the kitchen or sing at the top of your lungs or listen to your favorite music.
  • Have a time out. When everyone and everything starts to weigh you down, find a moment for yourself. Do whatever you love most or find a quiet spot. I need breaks from social media, so I’ll leave my phone inside and go out with a good book.