I have just published a new book called 101 Tips to Lighten Your Burden. My publisher is Loving, Healing Press and the book is available through the following links.
Most of the time reducing wisdom to its most basic form gives us the greatest benefit. An example of this would be to look at running advice in the form of the ABCs.
Add more mileage gradually. 10% more per week is the recommended amount.
Be a cheerleader for yourself. Celebrate the triumphs and don’t worry too much about the rest.
Continue to try to improve.
Decide what your challenge is going to be and get ready to meet it.
Energize with nutritious food.
Forget all your problems and enjoy a great run.
Get a good playlist on your Ipod.
Hydrate.
Invest in a good pair of shoes. Many injuries stem from poor shoes. Protect yourself.
Just run and have fun.
Keep track of your time and your mileage.
Love your feet. They are carrying you and they need tender care.
Mentally prepare yourself to run.
Never run through an injury.
Openly recruit friends to run with you.
Prepare for a race.
Question veteran runners to find what works for them.
Rest.
Set goals.
Try new routes and routines.
Understand that there will be days your body does not want to run.
Value a good long run.
Weather is not always an excuse not to run. Dress accordingly.
X out injuries with common sense.
Yell for and encourage others in your races.
Zeal will keep you going when your body does not want to.
Athletes find out eventually that every part of our body influences the rest. The fact that everything is connected means that when something goes wrong in one part of the body, the rest of the body has to compensate which usually causes even more problems.
The knees are one of the main joints to suffer when we do not listen to our body and take preventive measures to avoid injury. Our knee problems can be avoided with some simple steps.
Last year I experienced what I like to call the “kneepocalypse” . I am an avid running and that is always my workout of choice and I am not good about resting for an injury. My problems started with a pain in my foot that developed from running with barely-there toe shoes and then changed to my whole left leg becoming stiff after races and eventually everything just ached and felt stiff. Shortly after running a half-marathon, I was running on the track at the gym when a sharp pain ripped through my knee. I could barely hobble over to the side but after an MRI, I was told I had strained my knee but I had no tears. I did have to do four weeks of physical training though and it turned out to be the best thing that could have happened to me. First, it taught me that cross-training was not only necessary but also fun and I learned some very valuable lessons about taking care of my body and protecting it from injury. Since I have been doing these exercises I have not only recovered from my injury but I am stronger than ever. I do not have any aches or pains and I see consistent improvements in my running. Here are ten steps that anyone can do for any sport to protect yourself from injury and make your body stronger for better performance.
1. Hip exercises
The hips are key to athletic performance and they are a real source of power. There are several very basic exercises that can be done to strengthen the hips. Here are a few;
· Lie on your side and extend your top leg slightly out in front and do leg lifts. Work up to two sets of 30 on each side.
· While standing, swing one leg out in front, to the side, and to the back. Do 30 on each side.
· Buy some exercise elastic bands and put them around your feet. Do leg lifts out to the side. Walk from one side of the room to another as if you were skating. It is also called the Herman Munster walk.
· Hold weights in each hand and do leg lifts to the side. 20 on each side.
· Stand with feet together. Lift one leg to the back and touch the floor. Do 20 on each side.
2. Stretching
Stretching has made a huge difference for me. I do very basic stretches such as separating both legs and stretching down over one leg and holding for thirty or touching my toes. I find the best one for my hips is to lie on my back and bend one leg so that my ankle is resting on the other leg. Then I pull both legs towards my chest. Stretching loosens up my joints and keeps me moving better.
3. Strength training
You need strong muscles to perform well and strength training will help strengthen your body to protect you from injury. I stick to a basic routine with bicep and triceps exercises, shoulder lifts, lunges, sit-ups, pushups and pull-ups. If you go to a gym ask for some assistance with the machines. Start out with light weights and work up.
4. Cross-training
I still struggle with cross-training because in my mind if I haven’t run then I haven’t really worked out when the truth is that I need to vary my routine if I want to improve. No matter what sport you do cross-training allows you to work different parts of your body while resting others. When you do the same thing every day your body will become used to it and you will hit a plateau. You have to mix it up a little to work your body and continue to be stronger. Swimming, biking, and whatever sports you enjoy will help you train stronger.
5. Balance
Balance is important for good body mechanics and it is something that we take for granted. Try the exercise that I mentioned before where one leg goes back and you touch the floor. You can also try standing on one leg and lifting the other forward and back. When you are ready for more of a challenge, buy a balance board and try to keep it level. My whole family got into the act when I brought mine home.
6. Strong core
Everything is connected to your core so you need to be strong there to keep the rest of your body strong. Core exercises include planks, abdominal exercises, pushups, and bridges.
7. Build the derriere
The gluteus muscles will help out the hips and you can strengthen them with squats, lunges, and bridges.
8. Massage
Massage is more than just an indulgence. There are proven health benefits for a regular trip to a massage therapist.
9. Rest
Listen to your body and realize when it is time to rest. One day without exercise will not cause any damage to your training but overuse can cause injury.
10. Special exercises
There are several exercises that I do that I think have helped to strengthen both my hips and my knees. I take a small platform (you can use a stair) and do step-ups. I step up and down with one leg for thirty and then switch. I also use the leg machines at the gym.
1. Runners have the best-looking legs. Muscles are sexy and runners’ legs are rippling in muscle. Those muscles might be sore, torn, or strained, but they look good no matter what.
2. Running strengthens your mind as well as your body. Runners set goals, reflect on their progress, but most importantly they develop mental techniques to help them run faster or longer and this mental strength can help in other aspects of life as well.
3. Running teaches us a lot about our bodies. We learn where the iliotibial band is and how to stretch it. We learn about ways to strengthen body parts to protect ourselves from injury and we know how to avoid chafing, aching, and blistering. We know how to treat our body like a fine machine; give it the right fuel and maintain the parts and everything will be fine.
4. You will never need to buy another t–shirt. Even if you have a dresser full of shirts a runner cannot help but be excited to see what the t-shirt will look like for the next race.
5. You have an excuse to eat carbs. Runners need energy so it’s ok to eat those carbohydrates and although we still have to eat in moderation, we can eat a little extra than a non-runner.
6. The demands of running will make you stronger. Running allows you to discover where your limits are and to try to push beyond those barriers. Trying to go to the next level will help you improve.
7. Running allows you to meet new people. I have never been to a race where I have not met at least one new interesting person. Runners tend to be nice people and as you are standing around before or after a race people will strike up conversations with you.
8. Running gives you time to think. Some of my best ideas and problem-solving are done while I’m running when no one is speaking to me or demanding my time.
9. You can connect to the community. Running gives you a chance to get out and about, to see what is going on in the neighborhood. It is difficult to go out for a run and not interact with at least one person. On Sundays, I run in my neighborhood and one after another my neighbors wander out to talk to me while I run around them or shuffle in place. I find out more information on that run than I do at any other time. You can explore roads and paths and really get to know your community.
10. Your mood will be better. Ask any runner what he or she is like after not running for a few days and words like moody and grumpy are used. Running is a healthy drug that can make you feel better in general.
The question I am asked the most is “How can I be a writer?”. The obvious answer to that is you have to write to be a writer, but there are some very basic questions all writers should ask themselves from time to time. Here are ten of them.
Ask yourself why you write.
What is the reason you want to be a writer? Do you want to take any writing job that comes along to make some extra money? Do you have a passion you want to share with others? Do you want to offer inspiration, or help to give people valuable information? There is no wrong answer for the why, but it’s a good idea to remember what motivates you to write. The answer to my why is because it makes me happy, and once an idea pops into my brain, I am restless until I can write it down. Writing gives me peace. I also want to help people who are struggling with life by offering some ideas to soothe the struggle.
What do you want to write?
Do you want to write for companies, make newsletters, write memoirs, fiction, poetry, essays, or something else? I struggled with this question because I wanted to make money with my writing and copywriting seemed like the best way to do that, but I knew I would be miserable. It was my husband who helped me when he said, “You need to write what makes you happy and the rest will work out.”
How will you make it work?
Writing is not an easy career, but I think it is worth the hard work. It takes some time to start making money, so you may need to have another job to supplement your passion. Start researching all of the platforms available for writers. One of the best things I did was join several writing groups on Facebook where writers share ideas and support each other.
Where will you work?
Find a spot that is yours and preferably where you can close the door. We are writers which means we are easily distracted. If I have a deadline, I put my phone in the other room and refuse to look at social media until I’m done. Make it a pleasant spot, so you will enjoy working there. I have inspiration around me for those days I’m questioning my ability to write.
Can you make the commitment?
Writing requires that you do it consistently. The more you write, the more chance you have to be successful. Set aside some time each day where you do something related to your writing whether it is research, places to publish, editing, or writing.
What connections can you make to help your writing?
I have always believed in asking questions of experts about what I want to do. Sign up for local writing groups, go to writing conferences, take writing classes. Writers can help writers by giving support and ideas for success.
Do you have a writer’s footprint?
If an editor or publisher searches for your work online, you want to make it easy for them to find you. This could be writing on your blog, writing you have published in media, or on online platforms like Medium or Newsbreak. Writing for local media is one way to put your writing out there.
Do you care about the haters?
No matter how good your writing is there will be people who want to tear you down. I am super sensitive and although I appreciate constructive criticism to help me grow, I have to limit how much negativity I listen to. Keep the positive notes and other inspiration for those days that the haters are on fire.
Where will you find inspiration?
If you can answer this you can be more open to receiving the inspiration. You will be more alert for it. Most of my inspiration comes from things people say so I have to be ready to write things down before I forget. I also have some of my best ideas while I am running, so I have a small whiteboard on a podium in my office where I jot down ideas quickly and head back out the door.
How will you nurture your spirit?
You will write better if you are happy, so do more of what lifts your spirit. Rest and eat well, read, swing on the porch, and do whatever will help you be at your best.
What are the two things you need more of in your life? Most people say sleep, time, and money. The average person is always tired and running out of time to do the important daily tasks, and when someone tells them they should spend more time on self-care. This sounds wonderful, but how does anyone make that happen? I have always hated when I admit to being overwhelmed and my husband tells me I need to let something go and do less. How do I do that?
As crazy as it sounds to take time for yourself, it is a gamechanger. When you are frazzled, exhausted, and unhappy, those emotions and physical states will affect everything you do. If you can find time for self-care, your mental and physical health will be stronger, and you will be better equipped to be the superhero you need to be. There are also some ways to slip a few of those moments into your day without changing much. Here are a few ideas to find those moments.
Stay positive
When you focus on the positives, you feel better. Positivity is a form of self-care because it will make you happy, and when your mood is good, you will be more motivated and productive.
Be transparent
Be open about your life including the messy parts you wish you could hide. It is exhausting to be someone you are not and sharing your flaws could help someone else who is struggling with the same thing.
Stay connected
Feeling loved and having support is a great form of self-care. Keep your connections strong and enjoy time with friends and family.
Let it go
This could mean let go of some things you don’t have to do, or it could mean let go of something you are mentally holding on to. Worry is a wasted emotion as well as feeling guilty about something from the past you cannot change. Let the baggage go.
Eat what you love
You should do your best to eat a healthy diet, but eat what you love too. One of my greatest pleasures in life is eating well and feeding others. Food is love.
Say no
Don’t take on something you will not enjoy doing because it will weigh you down and eat up your time that you could be spending on something you enjoy. Guard your energy and your time to take care of yourself.
Turn over responsibility
I used to think I had to solve everybody’s problems until I realized that most people only want to be heard and with a few questions they can be guided to finding their solutions. My youngest has been struggling with her career path and she rehashes all her fears over and over and each time I say, “No one can make this decision for you. It is up to you to decide.” Turn the responsibility over to someone else.
Unplug
Social media can be a great form of entertainment and connection, but it can also be emotionally draining. Take a few moments to be without any form of technology and relax in silence.
Move
Whatever form of movement you enjoy will improve your mind and body. Movement is a great way to destress and unwind.
Dance in the kitchen
I remember when my children were younger, we would put on upbeat music and crazy dance in the kitchen. It always caused us to laugh until we were out of breath. It is an instant mood boost.
Listen to music
Music can influence our mood whether we need to destress or we need some motivation. Find a good playlist to use throughout the day.
Count your blessings
Feeling grateful and realizing how lucky you are is a good way to feel good about yourself.
Breathe
Taking deep breaths is healthy for you and it is another way to calm down after a busy day.
Slow down
When you feel yourself feeling overwhelmed, stop for a minute, take a deep breath, and tell yourself that you are going to face your tasks one at a time, doing the most important first.
Pray
Prayer is a healthy way of asking for help and sometimes releasing your worries makes you feel better.
Go outside
Nature is healing. Go outside and soak up the beauty all around you.
Use aromatherapy
Smells can perk up your mood and energize you when you are tired. I have a candle on my desk that I burn when I’m writing that is a combination of gardenia, clove, and cognac. It is the perfect smell for me and it lifts my spirits. I also diffuse an essential oil called Breathe which also has an amazing smell and is a respiratory blend. I have not had a cold since I have been using it. I use peppermint if I need a boost and I sprinkle it and lavender on my pillow at night because the smell is amazing.
Laugh
It’s hard to be in a bad mood when you are laughing. Watch a good comedy, funny videos, or enjoy some moments with friends.
Ask for help
There is nothing weak or embarrassing about asking for help.
Be present
Instead of worrying about the past or the future, enjoy the moment you are in right now.
Accept yourself
Realize you are worthy and beautifully made. If you like what you see in the mirror, no one else’s opinion matters.
Give yourself grace
You don’t have to be perfect. Laugh at your imperfections as well as all those moments that don’t go according to plan.
Play with a pet
Having an animal is a form of therapy. They will listen to you without judging you, and they love unconditionally.
We live in a society where a strong work ethic is highly regarded but it often exacts a nasty price as it affects our mental and physical health, affects our relationships, and influences our happiness. What if we work harder at making ourselves healthy and happy and adjust our priorities so that work is not all-consuming. Self-care should come first and then we will be better equipped to take care of our other responsibilities.
We are all wonderfully made, but what causes one person to be so different from another? What are those influences and interactions that form us as we grow? Who are the people in your life who made you the person you have become?
We all come with a little pre-wiring, a bit of personality that came with the package and any mental or physical challenges can influence who we are, but mostly it is the people who enter and exit our lives who make us the people we are. In our lives, we will have mentors, role models, competitors, supporters, friends, lovers, as well as toxic people who will all influence us in some way. It’s important to reflect first on how we would define ourselves and then ask the question who helped us to be that way.
Define yourself. What are the first few words that come to mind when someone asks you to define yourself? My definition would be loving, Catholic, driven. The first one would seem odd if you knew I come from a family that did not ever say I love you or hug or show open affection. All of those things would have been very awkward and uncomfortable for my parents. There was no doubt in my mind they loved me, they just showed it in different ways. It was not until high school that I heard friends say I love you. I had two friends from Puerto Rico who would shout it over their shoulders to me as they headed out the door. It seemed like a wonderful thing to me although it was a little scary to say to someone because of that chance that the person would not respond. I tried it one night when I was on the phone with my Dad and as he said goodbye I said “I love you Dad.” There was dead silence on the line. I am sure he was very uncomfortable. Despite their dislike for open proclamations of love, my parents showed me what it meant to be loved and cared for.
My mother is responsible for my identity as a Catholic. We went to church every Sunday, I had Bible study once a week although I swear it felt like every day to a child, and we followed all the rules including no meat on Friday. I really don’t ever want to see tuna casserole again.
My father is responsible for my driven nature. He always told me I needed to work hard and that there is always something more that can be done. I heard that lesson very clearly and to this day I have trouble sitting down for long because surely there is something else I should do.
What are your passions? It is only my opinion that your passions are born with you but there are people in your life that can nurture them and help you to develop them. My passions are reading, writing, and running. When I do any of these three things I feel completely at peace and happy, in fact, I am usually smiling while I do them. My passion for reading was fostered by a place, not a person. The library in my town looked like a castle complete with a scary cellar. It was right around the corner from my house so I would go there as often as possible, curl up in a corner and lose myself in an adventure. Writing was fostered by my high school English teacher. Mr. Chaffee was the first person to tell me I was a good writer and coming from him that statement meant a great deal. He believed in me. I have no idea how I became passionate about running, but I cannot imagine not being able to do it.
Who made you stronger and gave you power? Most people would probably think of positive influences in their lives but for me, the people who made me stronger were involved in fairly negative situations. My family spoiled me so when I was first married I was a bit of a princess but my husband was not going to stand for that. He also is a perfectionist who has specific ways that he wants things done. He would fix things that I had done and at the time I thought I was not doing things correctly but I eventually learned it was only part of his personality. It did teach me to stand up for those things I didn’t want to be changed. The other person who made me stronger was someone I thought was my friend. She was what Dr. Phil’s new book calls a baiter. She was someone with no empathy, completely self-absorbed, never able to admit culpability, devious and manipulative. The relationship did teach me a lot though and left me stronger after I removed all the knives from my back.
Who made you weaker? Is there someone in your life you know is not good for you but you have difficulty pulling away? What do you have to do to move on? I had a boyfriend in college that my father disliked so badly he would not allow him in our house. I knew deep down he was bad for me, but I didn’t know how to break free until I did a year abroad and voilà, problem solved.
Who taught you the most about life? Who did you learn the most lessons from? This could be your parents, your co-workers, your friends. What did you learn from them that impacted you? My students have taught me the most. I have seen students with issues that most people would find insurmountable yet somehow the students find a way to succeed.
Who brings you peace? Who is the person or people in your life that brings you a sense of peace? My sense of peace comes from God and my family.
Who have you influenced? Hopefully, you have influenced some of the people in your life. Often the people that we have influenced would surprise you. You never know when you can do or say something that may change a life.
You can see by these questions that we all are complex creatures with multiple layers responsible for forming us. It’s important to reflect on how those layers were formed.
Everyone wishes for things throughout their lives. Some of those wishes and prayers come true, and some do not but God often sends us the answer to our prayers by sending us people not things. Think about the people who have had the biggest impact on your life, did they show up when you needed them? Take a minute and think about the people who are precious to you. How have they changed or helped you? Have you been an impact in someone else’s life? We often have a huge impact on someone’s life without even knowing it. Something we do or say can alter someone’s entire life, and we can make an impact with even a short encounter.
A small gesture can turn someone’s day around. A smile, a compliment, or a small conversation can make someone feel important and lift their spirits. When we do acts of kindness or take the time to listen to someone’s story, we are showing the person that he or she is worthy of our time.
I had a funny experience on my way to work one day. I was in a horrible mood and I was really trying to turn my attitude around, but it was not working. I stopped to get a coffee at a convenience store and as I came out the man in the car next to me said “Miss, you have a pen stuck to your back.” Now since this sounded odd even for me, the woman who had sat in the front of a school assembly with a Velcro curler stuck to my back, I repeated what he had said. “I have a pen stuck to my back?!!” “Yes ma’am.” was the reply. Well, I really did not doubt him, and I just started laughing which made him laugh and sure enough, a pen had somehow lodged itself in my sweater. My mood suddenly became much lighter and retelling the story at work perked up a few other people as well. A little laughter and conversation can lighten someone else’s load.
Giving of yourself to others is the best way to give back to you. It makes you feel good to do something nice for someone else and if you have some troubles of your own, the quickest way to forget them is to focus on someone else.
I have noticed that some of my dearest friends appeared in my life when I needed them most, and the important people in your life seem to show up when you least expect it.
God speaks through people so always keep your ears open for messages that you need to hear.
Help God lift more people up in the following ways;
Smile
Make small gestures of kindness. A small act from you can make a big difference.
Stay positive.
See the humor in everything you do and help others laugh.
Be more aware of the people around you.
Give freely and often.
Listen
Do everything with a spirit of love and you can do no wrong.
We all know someone who seems absolutely perfect; she rises at 4 to do some reflective reading, goes to the gym, comes back in time to drive the children to school and of course, they are carrying a perfectly healthy, made from scratch lunch. She then prepares for work and leaves the house looking like a runway model. It is exhausting just contemplating what it must be like to always try to be that perfect. The truth though if you pay attention is everyone has chinks in their armor; it’s just a matter of time until the imperfections shine through. Let me give you a few examples; I knew two young women who were show-stopping beautiful. They looked absolutely perfect to me and I remember wondering what it would be like to be that gorgeous. One day I casually asked them why they were always late. The answer that they gave me was not what I expected. They both told me that they were terrified that they would not look good. They would try on multiple pieces of clothing and redo their hair and makeup over and over until they looked just right. I decided at that moment that beauty was not worth that level of anxiety. I know another woman who I consider to be beautiful inside and out but I finally realized that she is trying to model herself after a friend that she considers to be perfect. She will never be content or able to see her own beauty.
Our media gives us images of perfection that are often hard to achieve. I would suggest that it is healthier for us to each be the best that we can be without feeling that we need to compare ourselves to others or do something that is not comfortable for us because we perceive it as what everyone else is doing. Imperfection is so much more interesting and approachable than perfection.
Don’t jump to conclusions when you first meet someone because usually, the more perfect a life seems, the more issues are hiding below the surface. Be content with being the best you can be while maintaining your sanity.
Perfect people can act as inspiration though. There are times when I become stuck in a comfortable routine when I could be doing better in one area or another. Sometimes something that a perfect person says or does will push you to improve on something. Improvement can lead to greatness, perfection can lead to therapy.
What we see in someone’s character or physique is not necessarily what that individual sees.
We only have to watch the bad auditions on American Idol when the singers argue that they did a great job when it is so obvious that they did not. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard someone make a statement about themselves and it is so outside reality I have to ask myself if we are speaking about the same person. Perfection is perception and everyone’s perception is going to be slightly different, so if you are doing your best in your own life then that should be perfect for you.
Embrace those chinks in your armor knowing that everyone has some. Use your level of happiness to gauge your perfection level and help the perfect people around you; they need a friend.
We all know someone who seems absolutely perfect; she rises at 4 to do some reflective reading, goes to the gym, comes back in time to drive the children to school and of course, they are carrying a perfectly healthy, made from scratch lunch. She then prepares for work and leaves the house looking like a runway model. It is exhausting just contemplating what it must be like to always try to be that perfect. The truth though if you pay attention is everyone has chinks in their armor; it’s just a matter of time until the imperfections shine through. Let me give you a few examples; I knew two young women who were show-stopping beautiful. They looked absolutely perfect to me and I remember wondering what it would be like to be that gorgeous. One day I casually asked them why they were always late. The answer that they gave me was not what I expected. They both told me that they were terrified that they would not look good. They would try on multiple pieces of clothing and redo their hair and makeup over and over until they looked just right. I decided at that moment that beauty was not worth that level of anxiety. I know another woman who I consider to be beautiful inside and out but I finally realized that she is trying to model herself after a friend that she considers to be perfect. She will never be content or able to see her own beauty.
Our media gives us images of perfection that are often hard to achieve. I would suggest that it is healthier for us to each be the best that we can be without feeling that we need to compare ourselves to others or do something that is not comfortable for us because we perceive it as what everyone else is doing. Imperfection is so much more interesting and approachable than perfection.
Don’t jump to conclusions when you first meet someone because usually, the more perfect a life seems, the more issues are hiding below the surface. Be content with being the best you can be while maintaining your sanity.
Perfect people can act as inspiration though. There are times when I become stuck in a comfortable routine when I could be doing better in one area or another. Sometimes something that a perfect person says or does will push you to improve on something. Improvement can lead to greatness, perfection can lead to therapy.
What we see in someone’s character or physique is not necessarily what that individual sees.
We only have to watch the bad auditions on American Idol when the singers argue that they did a great job when it is so obvious that they did not. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard someone make a statement about themselves and it is so outside reality I have to ask myself if we are speaking about the same person. Perfection is perception and everyone’s perception is going to be slightly different, so if you are doing your best in your own life then that should be perfect for you.
Embrace those chinks in your armor knowing that everyone has some. Use your level of happiness to gauge your perfection level and help the perfect people around you; they need a friend.
Jennifer’s writing 