1. Runners have the best-looking legs. Muscles are sexy and runners’ legs are rippling in muscle. Those muscles might be sore, torn, or strained, but they look good no matter what.
2. Running strengthens your mind as well as your body. Runners set goals, reflect on their progress, but most importantly they develop mental techniques to help them run faster or longer and this mental strength can help in other aspects of life as well.
3. Running teaches us a lot about our bodies. We learn where the iliotibial band is and how to stretch it. We learn about ways to strengthen body parts to protect ourselves from injury and we know how to avoid chafing, aching, and blistering. We know how to treat our body like a fine machine; give it the right fuel and maintain the parts and everything will be fine.
4. You will never need to buy another t–shirt. Even if you have a dresser full of shirts a runner cannot help but be excited to see what the t-shirt will look like for the next race.
5. You have an excuse to eat carbs. Runners need energy so it’s ok to eat those carbohydrates and although we still have to eat in moderation, we can eat a little extra than a non-runner.
6. The demands of running will make you stronger. Running allows you to discover where your limits are and to try to push beyond those barriers. Trying to go to the next level will help you improve.
7. Running allows you to meet new people. I have never been to a race where I have not met at least one new interesting person. Runners tend to be nice people and as you are standing around before or after a race people will strike up conversations with you.
8. Running gives you time to think. Some of my best ideas and problem-solving are done while I’m running when no one is speaking to me or demanding my time.
9. You can connect to the community. Running gives you a chance to get out and about, to see what is going on in the neighborhood. It is difficult to go out for a run and not interact with at least one person. On Sundays, I run in my neighborhood and one after another my neighbors wander out to talk to me while I run around them or shuffle in place. I find out more information on that run than I do at any other time. You can explore roads and paths and really get to know your community.
10. Your mood will be better. Ask any runner what he or she is like after not running for a few days and words like moody and grumpy are used. Running is a healthy drug that can make you feel better in general.
The question I am asked the most is “How can I be a writer?”. The obvious answer to that is you have to write to be a writer, but there are some very basic questions all writers should ask themselves from time to time. Here are ten of them.
Ask yourself why you write.
What is the reason you want to be a writer? Do you want to take any writing job that comes along to make some extra money? Do you have a passion you want to share with others? Do you want to offer inspiration, or help to give people valuable information? There is no wrong answer for the why, but it’s a good idea to remember what motivates you to write. The answer to my why is because it makes me happy, and once an idea pops into my brain, I am restless until I can write it down. Writing gives me peace. I also want to help people who are struggling with life by offering some ideas to soothe the struggle.
What do you want to write?
Do you want to write for companies, make newsletters, write memoirs, fiction, poetry, essays, or something else? I struggled with this question because I wanted to make money with my writing and copywriting seemed like the best way to do that, but I knew I would be miserable. It was my husband who helped me when he said, “You need to write what makes you happy and the rest will work out.”
How will you make it work?
Writing is not an easy career, but I think it is worth the hard work. It takes some time to start making money, so you may need to have another job to supplement your passion. Start researching all of the platforms available for writers. One of the best things I did was join several writing groups on Facebook where writers share ideas and support each other.
Where will you work?
Find a spot that is yours and preferably where you can close the door. We are writers which means we are easily distracted. If I have a deadline, I put my phone in the other room and refuse to look at social media until I’m done. Make it a pleasant spot, so you will enjoy working there. I have inspiration around me for those days I’m questioning my ability to write.
Can you make the commitment?
Writing requires that you do it consistently. The more you write, the more chance you have to be successful. Set aside some time each day where you do something related to your writing whether it is research, places to publish, editing, or writing.
What connections can you make to help your writing?
I have always believed in asking questions of experts about what I want to do. Sign up for local writing groups, go to writing conferences, take writing classes. Writers can help writers by giving support and ideas for success.
Do you have a writer’s footprint?
If an editor or publisher searches for your work online, you want to make it easy for them to find you. This could be writing on your blog, writing you have published in media, or on online platforms like Medium or Newsbreak. Writing for local media is one way to put your writing out there.
Do you care about the haters?
No matter how good your writing is there will be people who want to tear you down. I am super sensitive and although I appreciate constructive criticism to help me grow, I have to limit how much negativity I listen to. Keep the positive notes and other inspiration for those days that the haters are on fire.
Where will you find inspiration?
If you can answer this you can be more open to receiving the inspiration. You will be more alert for it. Most of my inspiration comes from things people say so I have to be ready to write things down before I forget. I also have some of my best ideas while I am running, so I have a small whiteboard on a podium in my office where I jot down ideas quickly and head back out the door.
How will you nurture your spirit?
You will write better if you are happy, so do more of what lifts your spirit. Rest and eat well, read, swing on the porch, and do whatever will help you be at your best.
What are the two things you need more of in your life? Most people say sleep, time, and money. The average person is always tired and running out of time to do the important daily tasks, and when someone tells them they should spend more time on self-care. This sounds wonderful, but how does anyone make that happen? I have always hated when I admit to being overwhelmed and my husband tells me I need to let something go and do less. How do I do that?
As crazy as it sounds to take time for yourself, it is a gamechanger. When you are frazzled, exhausted, and unhappy, those emotions and physical states will affect everything you do. If you can find time for self-care, your mental and physical health will be stronger, and you will be better equipped to be the superhero you need to be. There are also some ways to slip a few of those moments into your day without changing much. Here are a few ideas to find those moments.
Stay positive
When you focus on the positives, you feel better. Positivity is a form of self-care because it will make you happy, and when your mood is good, you will be more motivated and productive.
Be transparent
Be open about your life including the messy parts you wish you could hide. It is exhausting to be someone you are not and sharing your flaws could help someone else who is struggling with the same thing.
Stay connected
Feeling loved and having support is a great form of self-care. Keep your connections strong and enjoy time with friends and family.
Let it go
This could mean let go of some things you don’t have to do, or it could mean let go of something you are mentally holding on to. Worry is a wasted emotion as well as feeling guilty about something from the past you cannot change. Let the baggage go.
Eat what you love
You should do your best to eat a healthy diet, but eat what you love too. One of my greatest pleasures in life is eating well and feeding others. Food is love.
Say no
Don’t take on something you will not enjoy doing because it will weigh you down and eat up your time that you could be spending on something you enjoy. Guard your energy and your time to take care of yourself.
Turn over responsibility
I used to think I had to solve everybody’s problems until I realized that most people only want to be heard and with a few questions they can be guided to finding their solutions. My youngest has been struggling with her career path and she rehashes all her fears over and over and each time I say, “No one can make this decision for you. It is up to you to decide.” Turn the responsibility over to someone else.
Unplug
Social media can be a great form of entertainment and connection, but it can also be emotionally draining. Take a few moments to be without any form of technology and relax in silence.
Move
Whatever form of movement you enjoy will improve your mind and body. Movement is a great way to destress and unwind.
Dance in the kitchen
I remember when my children were younger, we would put on upbeat music and crazy dance in the kitchen. It always caused us to laugh until we were out of breath. It is an instant mood boost.
Listen to music
Music can influence our mood whether we need to destress or we need some motivation. Find a good playlist to use throughout the day.
Count your blessings
Feeling grateful and realizing how lucky you are is a good way to feel good about yourself.
Breathe
Taking deep breaths is healthy for you and it is another way to calm down after a busy day.
Slow down
When you feel yourself feeling overwhelmed, stop for a minute, take a deep breath, and tell yourself that you are going to face your tasks one at a time, doing the most important first.
Pray
Prayer is a healthy way of asking for help and sometimes releasing your worries makes you feel better.
Go outside
Nature is healing. Go outside and soak up the beauty all around you.
Use aromatherapy
Smells can perk up your mood and energize you when you are tired. I have a candle on my desk that I burn when I’m writing that is a combination of gardenia, clove, and cognac. It is the perfect smell for me and it lifts my spirits. I also diffuse an essential oil called Breathe which also has an amazing smell and is a respiratory blend. I have not had a cold since I have been using it. I use peppermint if I need a boost and I sprinkle it and lavender on my pillow at night because the smell is amazing.
Laugh
It’s hard to be in a bad mood when you are laughing. Watch a good comedy, funny videos, or enjoy some moments with friends.
Ask for help
There is nothing weak or embarrassing about asking for help.
Be present
Instead of worrying about the past or the future, enjoy the moment you are in right now.
Accept yourself
Realize you are worthy and beautifully made. If you like what you see in the mirror, no one else’s opinion matters.
Give yourself grace
You don’t have to be perfect. Laugh at your imperfections as well as all those moments that don’t go according to plan.
Play with a pet
Having an animal is a form of therapy. They will listen to you without judging you, and they love unconditionally.
We live in a society where a strong work ethic is highly regarded but it often exacts a nasty price as it affects our mental and physical health, affects our relationships, and influences our happiness. What if we work harder at making ourselves healthy and happy and adjust our priorities so that work is not all-consuming. Self-care should come first and then we will be better equipped to take care of our other responsibilities.
We are all wonderfully made, but what causes one person to be so different from another? What are those influences and interactions that form us as we grow? Who are the people in your life who made you the person you have become?
We all come with a little pre-wiring, a bit of personality that came with the package and any mental or physical challenges can influence who we are, but mostly it is the people who enter and exit our lives who make us the people we are. In our lives, we will have mentors, role models, competitors, supporters, friends, lovers, as well as toxic people who will all influence us in some way. It’s important to reflect first on how we would define ourselves and then ask the question who helped us to be that way.
Define yourself. What are the first few words that come to mind when someone asks you to define yourself? My definition would be loving, Catholic, driven. The first one would seem odd if you knew I come from a family that did not ever say I love you or hug or show open affection. All of those things would have been very awkward and uncomfortable for my parents. There was no doubt in my mind they loved me, they just showed it in different ways. It was not until high school that I heard friends say I love you. I had two friends from Puerto Rico who would shout it over their shoulders to me as they headed out the door. It seemed like a wonderful thing to me although it was a little scary to say to someone because of that chance that the person would not respond. I tried it one night when I was on the phone with my Dad and as he said goodbye I said “I love you Dad.” There was dead silence on the line. I am sure he was very uncomfortable. Despite their dislike for open proclamations of love, my parents showed me what it meant to be loved and cared for.
My mother is responsible for my identity as a Catholic. We went to church every Sunday, I had Bible study once a week although I swear it felt like every day to a child, and we followed all the rules including no meat on Friday. I really don’t ever want to see tuna casserole again.
My father is responsible for my driven nature. He always told me I needed to work hard and that there is always something more that can be done. I heard that lesson very clearly and to this day I have trouble sitting down for long because surely there is something else I should do.
What are your passions? It is only my opinion that your passions are born with you but there are people in your life that can nurture them and help you to develop them. My passions are reading, writing, and running. When I do any of these three things I feel completely at peace and happy, in fact, I am usually smiling while I do them. My passion for reading was fostered by a place, not a person. The library in my town looked like a castle complete with a scary cellar. It was right around the corner from my house so I would go there as often as possible, curl up in a corner and lose myself in an adventure. Writing was fostered by my high school English teacher. Mr. Chaffee was the first person to tell me I was a good writer and coming from him that statement meant a great deal. He believed in me. I have no idea how I became passionate about running, but I cannot imagine not being able to do it.
Who made you stronger and gave you power? Most people would probably think of positive influences in their lives but for me, the people who made me stronger were involved in fairly negative situations. My family spoiled me so when I was first married I was a bit of a princess but my husband was not going to stand for that. He also is a perfectionist who has specific ways that he wants things done. He would fix things that I had done and at the time I thought I was not doing things correctly but I eventually learned it was only part of his personality. It did teach me to stand up for those things I didn’t want to be changed. The other person who made me stronger was someone I thought was my friend. She was what Dr. Phil’s new book calls a baiter. She was someone with no empathy, completely self-absorbed, never able to admit culpability, devious and manipulative. The relationship did teach me a lot though and left me stronger after I removed all the knives from my back.
Who made you weaker? Is there someone in your life you know is not good for you but you have difficulty pulling away? What do you have to do to move on? I had a boyfriend in college that my father disliked so badly he would not allow him in our house. I knew deep down he was bad for me, but I didn’t know how to break free until I did a year abroad and voilà, problem solved.
Who taught you the most about life? Who did you learn the most lessons from? This could be your parents, your co-workers, your friends. What did you learn from them that impacted you? My students have taught me the most. I have seen students with issues that most people would find insurmountable yet somehow the students find a way to succeed.
Who brings you peace? Who is the person or people in your life that brings you a sense of peace? My sense of peace comes from God and my family.
Who have you influenced? Hopefully, you have influenced some of the people in your life. Often the people that we have influenced would surprise you. You never know when you can do or say something that may change a life.
You can see by these questions that we all are complex creatures with multiple layers responsible for forming us. It’s important to reflect on how those layers were formed.
Everyone wishes for things throughout their lives. Some of those wishes and prayers come true, and some do not but God often sends us the answer to our prayers by sending us people not things. Think about the people who have had the biggest impact on your life, did they show up when you needed them? Take a minute and think about the people who are precious to you. How have they changed or helped you? Have you been an impact in someone else’s life? We often have a huge impact on someone’s life without even knowing it. Something we do or say can alter someone’s entire life, and we can make an impact with even a short encounter.
A small gesture can turn someone’s day around. A smile, a compliment, or a small conversation can make someone feel important and lift their spirits. When we do acts of kindness or take the time to listen to someone’s story, we are showing the person that he or she is worthy of our time.
I had a funny experience on my way to work one day. I was in a horrible mood and I was really trying to turn my attitude around, but it was not working. I stopped to get a coffee at a convenience store and as I came out the man in the car next to me said “Miss, you have a pen stuck to your back.” Now since this sounded odd even for me, the woman who had sat in the front of a school assembly with a Velcro curler stuck to my back, I repeated what he had said. “I have a pen stuck to my back?!!” “Yes ma’am.” was the reply. Well, I really did not doubt him, and I just started laughing which made him laugh and sure enough, a pen had somehow lodged itself in my sweater. My mood suddenly became much lighter and retelling the story at work perked up a few other people as well. A little laughter and conversation can lighten someone else’s load.
Giving of yourself to others is the best way to give back to you. It makes you feel good to do something nice for someone else and if you have some troubles of your own, the quickest way to forget them is to focus on someone else.
I have noticed that some of my dearest friends appeared in my life when I needed them most, and the important people in your life seem to show up when you least expect it.
God speaks through people so always keep your ears open for messages that you need to hear.
Help God lift more people up in the following ways;
Smile
Make small gestures of kindness. A small act from you can make a big difference.
Stay positive.
See the humor in everything you do and help others laugh.
Be more aware of the people around you.
Give freely and often.
Listen
Do everything with a spirit of love and you can do no wrong.
We all know someone who seems absolutely perfect; she rises at 4 to do some reflective reading, goes to the gym, comes back in time to drive the children to school and of course, they are carrying a perfectly healthy, made from scratch lunch. She then prepares for work and leaves the house looking like a runway model. It is exhausting just contemplating what it must be like to always try to be that perfect. The truth though if you pay attention is everyone has chinks in their armor; it’s just a matter of time until the imperfections shine through. Let me give you a few examples; I knew two young women who were show-stopping beautiful. They looked absolutely perfect to me and I remember wondering what it would be like to be that gorgeous. One day I casually asked them why they were always late. The answer that they gave me was not what I expected. They both told me that they were terrified that they would not look good. They would try on multiple pieces of clothing and redo their hair and makeup over and over until they looked just right. I decided at that moment that beauty was not worth that level of anxiety. I know another woman who I consider to be beautiful inside and out but I finally realized that she is trying to model herself after a friend that she considers to be perfect. She will never be content or able to see her own beauty.
Our media gives us images of perfection that are often hard to achieve. I would suggest that it is healthier for us to each be the best that we can be without feeling that we need to compare ourselves to others or do something that is not comfortable for us because we perceive it as what everyone else is doing. Imperfection is so much more interesting and approachable than perfection.
Don’t jump to conclusions when you first meet someone because usually, the more perfect a life seems, the more issues are hiding below the surface. Be content with being the best you can be while maintaining your sanity.
Perfect people can act as inspiration though. There are times when I become stuck in a comfortable routine when I could be doing better in one area or another. Sometimes something that a perfect person says or does will push you to improve on something. Improvement can lead to greatness, perfection can lead to therapy.
What we see in someone’s character or physique is not necessarily what that individual sees.
We only have to watch the bad auditions on American Idol when the singers argue that they did a great job when it is so obvious that they did not. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard someone make a statement about themselves and it is so outside reality I have to ask myself if we are speaking about the same person. Perfection is perception and everyone’s perception is going to be slightly different, so if you are doing your best in your own life then that should be perfect for you.
Embrace those chinks in your armor knowing that everyone has some. Use your level of happiness to gauge your perfection level and help the perfect people around you; they need a friend.
We all know someone who seems absolutely perfect; she rises at 4 to do some reflective reading, goes to the gym, comes back in time to drive the children to school and of course, they are carrying a perfectly healthy, made from scratch lunch. She then prepares for work and leaves the house looking like a runway model. It is exhausting just contemplating what it must be like to always try to be that perfect. The truth though if you pay attention is everyone has chinks in their armor; it’s just a matter of time until the imperfections shine through. Let me give you a few examples; I knew two young women who were show-stopping beautiful. They looked absolutely perfect to me and I remember wondering what it would be like to be that gorgeous. One day I casually asked them why they were always late. The answer that they gave me was not what I expected. They both told me that they were terrified that they would not look good. They would try on multiple pieces of clothing and redo their hair and makeup over and over until they looked just right. I decided at that moment that beauty was not worth that level of anxiety. I know another woman who I consider to be beautiful inside and out but I finally realized that she is trying to model herself after a friend that she considers to be perfect. She will never be content or able to see her own beauty.
Our media gives us images of perfection that are often hard to achieve. I would suggest that it is healthier for us to each be the best that we can be without feeling that we need to compare ourselves to others or do something that is not comfortable for us because we perceive it as what everyone else is doing. Imperfection is so much more interesting and approachable than perfection.
Don’t jump to conclusions when you first meet someone because usually, the more perfect a life seems, the more issues are hiding below the surface. Be content with being the best you can be while maintaining your sanity.
Perfect people can act as inspiration though. There are times when I become stuck in a comfortable routine when I could be doing better in one area or another. Sometimes something that a perfect person says or does will push you to improve on something. Improvement can lead to greatness, perfection can lead to therapy.
What we see in someone’s character or physique is not necessarily what that individual sees.
We only have to watch the bad auditions on American Idol when the singers argue that they did a great job when it is so obvious that they did not. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard someone make a statement about themselves and it is so outside reality I have to ask myself if we are speaking about the same person. Perfection is perception and everyone’s perception is going to be slightly different, so if you are doing your best in your own life then that should be perfect for you.
Embrace those chinks in your armor knowing that everyone has some. Use your level of happiness to gauge your perfection level and help the perfect people around you; they need a friend.
I think my family is probably not any different from many other families. I have two older children who moved out because they couldn’t wait to taste independence, and they moved back when they realized how expensive the independence was. They moved back with two dogs, two cats, and two chinchillas none of which they are any better at taking care of than before they left. Our house feels a little like Noah’s ark.
My nine-year old is like a walking tornado. Wherever she passes is left in amazing disarray, trash is spewed among toys and an amazing variety of objects taken from my office can be seen among the rubble.
My oldest daughter is close to my size which means at any time I wander into her room, I will find three pairs of my shoes, two shirts, and most of my hair ties. She had one of my shirts for so long that when I pointed out it was mine, she was convinced it was hers. The same daughter comes into my room after I have returned from teaching seven classes and being on my feet all day and tells me how exhausted she is after sleeping to twelve and going to one class.
My son is equally exhausted after playing video games all day and as I am taking all this in, my nine-year old runs in and says “Mommy, what do you want to do with me?” I really want to answer “Mommy wants to take a nap.” But instead I smile and say “whatever you want sweet pea.”
All three children need something from me. Jess needs to tell me about the teacher who gave a test on material that he didn’t teach or why she cannot find the soul mate that she desperately wants. Tyler needs so much right now as he figures out who he is but he doesn’t know how to ask for the help he needs and I’m not sure how to give it without being intrusive to the adult he has become. Katie just wants my presence. I find myself constantly saying I wish I had more time for this or that or more energy or more time to sleep but the truth is I am happy and grateful for the crazy family I call mine.
Later when I’m walking through the house, I trip over something large and squeaky. It could have been Katie’s toy but this time it belongs to the pit bull that always has a toy in her mouth on the slight chance that someone, anyone will play with her. Most days are filled with a cacophony of squeak, squeak, squeak.
At dinner I hear about how the oldest prefers steak, and my son wishes we could have pizza…again and Katie wants to know how many bites of meat she has to eat.
When bedtime rolls around, Katie wants me to stay with her after we read and most of the time I fall asleep and then wake up from a noise in the house which is usually the pit bull and the squeak, squeak toy. I take a few more minutes to look at Kate in deep sleep. The look of peace and contentment on her face is worth any talk about her attitude or picking up her playroom.
I finish the night by climbing into bed and surrounding myself with all the magazines and books I wish I had time to read. Unfortunately, because reading relaxes me so much and well, because I am exhausted, I usually doze off within five minutes with the magazine or book on my chest. I often wake up with a kiss from my oldest daughter as she removes the magazine and turns out the light.
As my husband slips into bed beside me he whispers “Honey, you seem so tired. Maybe you should let something go. ”This is such a simple concept but so hard to achieve, so for now I will continue to enjoy this crazy, chaotic life that I am so lucky to lead.
We all hope our children find success and happiness in life but even more important than that we want them to be good people who know the importance of compassion. We need to show them that life doesn’t just revolve around us and that by helping others we can change the world one positive step at a time. Our acts of compassion can start a ripple effect that will continue from one person to the next. Carol S. Ritter a speaker on non-profit and leadership says “Take Care of People – People before Paper, People before Profits, People before Self and People before Projects”
There are ways to help our children learn compassion and the great thing is that most of them are activities that we can share together. Here are just a few activities that can help you teach your child the value of compassion.
Volunteer
There are so many people who need our help that the need for volunteers is huge. You can volunteer at a retirement home, a soup kitchen, or an animal shelter. Most churches need volunteers to help with their outreach projects. Here are some websites to find out more;
You probably have someone in your own neighborhood that could use some compassion. If you know of an elderly couple or someone that is living alone, stop by some night with a prepared meal. Even the gift of your time for a few minutes of conversation would probably be greatly appreciated.
Do an act of kindness
The wonderful thing about acts of kindness is that they seem to be contagious. Your one simple act could cause a string of similar acts that could brighten up so many people’s days. An act of kindness can be so easy; buy a coffee for the person in line behind you, open the door, or help someone in some small way. Even a smile can lift up someone’s spirit.
Keep a gratitude journal
Write down what you are thankful for every day and have your child do the same. Talk with your child about all the blessings that you have in your life. When your child sees someone less fortunate than you discuss how lucky you are.
Model compassion yourself
You are your child’s greatest teacher. They will model what they see you do so let them see you modeling kindness as often as possible.
Feed the homeless
Go to the dollar store and pick out basic necessities like soap, toothpaste, and deodorant and then make two separate sets of packages for the homeless. One bag will have a set of necessities and the second will have sandwiches and fruit that you and your children have prepared. Go to a local homeless shelter or an area where you know you will find the homeless and distribute the bags. A local school in Atlanta, Mount Paran Christian has a community service day and a group of students goes to downtown parks to distribute the bags. The students commented that giving the bags out made them feel like they were helping someone and it gave them a better understanding of the wide variety of people who need our help.
Write notes of compassion
Write your child sweet notes and put them in his or her backpack to find them later. Have your child write notes of thanks to teachers. Show them the power of lifting others up with kind words.
Jennifer’s writing 