Page 6 of 77

Posted on

How to be your best marketing tool

Don’t you wish you could just write and watch your writing sell itself? We all find out quickly that if we can’t find a way for people to notice our work, our writing will sit there and molder, but what if I told you marketing can be fun?

I thought marketing was something I did with newsletters and my blog which meant I could continue to interact through my writing, but I discovered that the best marketing is much more personal and it requires you to find the type of connection that will work for you.

When I first started writing I was terrible at marketing. I listened to the advice that said go out in your community, and make contacts and connections, but I always felt so awkward. My friend worked at an assisted living facility, and she asked me to vend my books there. I was sure the other vendors would know I was new at this, so instead of trying to act like I knew what I was doing, I confessed I was a newbie and I asked questions. I learned so much that day and each event I did after that felt more comfortable.

I contacted local bookstores and asked if I could come in and do a signing. More than once, I was the only one in the room, so that was demoralizing. I was asked to do a reading. There were six children and their parents and after it was over my friend asked me if I would do it again and my reply was, “Not if I can avoid it.” I felt so uncomfortable. After that day I decided I needed to come up with a different plan, so I applied to vend at a local craft market. I had no idea that the experience would change everything.

The first time I showed up to vend, I had a small table with my books set up. Several weeks later my husband had made some small displays and every week I tried to improve the presentation. I quickly discovered that I had found my favorite form of marketing because I could interact with people while I talked to them about my books and played with their dogs and children. I gave out treats to dogs and butterfly stickers to children and when they started to talk to me that is when the magic began. People told me their stories and asked questions about my books and picked up my business card.

Being able to talk to people in person made me realize the power of that personal connection. I spoke to the representative of Bob Marley’s family who was considering using my children’s books in their stores. A cross-country coach said he would let me know if my running book would be something to purchase for his 58 runners. I spoke with the granddaughters of Ernie Andrus who is one of the oldest people to run across America. I give hugs and tissues at my booth but none of the connections would be possible without personal interaction.

I hope you will move your writing and yourself outside of your office and go talk to some people about what you have to say and maybe change some lives.

Posted on

The Moment My Students Taught Me About Beauty

Students Classroom Leakey, Texas, San by U.S. National Archives is licensed under CC-CC0 1.0

Do you think you are beautiful? Most people would answer that question with a list of their imperfections. What makes it difficult to answer that question with a simple yes?

My Advanced Placement French class taught me some very important lessons about what beauty is, and how it varies with your race.

There were five girls in the class, and I had been teaching them for four years, so there was trust and connection in that room, but I had no idea how much they were about to reveal about themselves. The teacher was about to become the student.

The theme we were working on was beauty. Each student was working on a presentation about the definition of beauty. I had no idea that events would line up to create some very important moments.

One of the girls always wore beautiful wigs. She would flick her long hair and thwack the girl behind her in the face. One day, one of the other girls said to her , “You always look so beautiful with your hairstyles.” I replied, “I bet she would be beautiful even without her wigs.” I didn’t think anything else about my comment until the next class when the girl pulled off her wig and stuck it in her backpack in a defiant gesture. I had the impression it was a moment of freedom for her. She didn’t want to spend hours to make her hair look beautiful. She wanted to embrace her natural hair. Everyone told her how great she looked. That moment was beautiful, and I haven’t seen her wear a wig since.

Although that moment was special and showed me how we become slaves to a quest for beauty and how freeing it can be to embrace our natural beauty, this young lady had more lessons for me when she did her presentation.

When she started her presentation, she gave everyone a mirror and asked everyone to look in the mirror and describe what we saw. Everyone started pointing out the flaws we thought we had. The young lady commented that we are very hard on ourselves when it comes to our appearance. She then asked us to each mention a positive comment about our appearance. The positive comment was much harder than the negative one.

As we began to share our struggle with feeling good about our appearance, another young lady spoke about how difficult it was to be the only black girl in her middle school class. She didn’t look like the other girls. She couldn’t use the makeup they used, and her hair didn’t look like theirs. She felt ugly because she was different. The discussion about beauty and race progressed into a more profonde dive into the racial divide for girls.

The transparency and willingness to have a dialogue about so many important topics allowed us to learn from each other and help each other to understand each other’s challenges.

I was so honored to be part of a conversation that more people need to have. This was not the only time my students taught me more than I taught them, but it was one of the most memorable for me.

Posted on

Red Flags When Giving Advice

Do you ever have those moments when someone asks for your advice, and then you quickly realize they either were not ready for it, or weren’t really interested in hearing it?

I love to help people, and I will do what I can to help when asked, but there are several situations when I realize I cannot help someone. At every market when I vend my books, at least one person asks me for advice on how to start writing, get published, or be more successful.

They ask me in different ways. One young man came to my booth looking terrified. He said, “I want to be a writer, but I don’t know how, can you tell me what I should do?” I didn’t want to overwhelm him so I asked him a few questions, offered some action steps, and gave him my card so he could contact me if he needed help. I have not heard anything from him since. Sometimes you can give tons of advice, but if someone is too afraid to start, fear will block out your advice.

The second red flag that people raise is when they put up roadblocks on anything you suggest. A woman came to my booth and said, “So you self-published all these books?” There are two ways someone can ask about self-publishing. One way shows curiosity about your publishing journey. The other is saying self-publishing is your only option. The tone of her voice told me it was the latter. I said, “I self-published two of them, and the rest are published through a traditional publisher.” She then switched the attack to money. “You probably don’t make any money doing this.” I finally discovered that her daughter wanted to be a writer, but as her mother she was skeptical of the possibilities. She began to ask my advice, but for everything I said, she had a reason why it wouldn’t work. I felt sorry for her daughter because if writing is her passion, the major roadblock might be her mother.

Another example of a challenge maker/dream breaker was a man who asked me how to join the market because he had written some children books. I kept telling him that the woman in charge of the market was behind him and he could speak with her, but he was too busy telling me why it wouldn’t work, and he kept talking over me. By the time he was finished, the woman who could have helped him was gone.

The final red flag involves the excuse maker. When the excuses start flying, I stop talking because this person is not ready to receive help.

You probably have amazing advice to offer others but realize that some people can receive it and take actions for success, but others are not ready or interested in receiving the wisdom, so save your energy to use where it will do the most good.    

Posted on

Important Lessons Running Can Teach You

Important Lessons Running Can Teach You

I started running in college for weight maintenance. I had no idea what a major part it would play in my life. It has saved me in many ways and taught me valuable life lessons. Here are a few that I am grateful to running for teaching me.

What you think you could never do is possible. You just need the courage to do it. I have always enjoyed competing in races. I had done all the distances except for an ultra-marathon which is anything beyond the marathon distance of 26.2. A friend asked me if I would consider doing an ultra and I laughed and said that I thought running more than 26. 2 was crazy. I discovered I should never say never when another friend told me about an ultra her husband did. She said the atmosphere was very chill and I could stop whenever I wanted. I ran it and fell in love with the ultra-distance. I learned that to grow I needed to step outside my comfort zone.

Don’t compare yourself to others. This lesson took awhile for me to learn because I always wanted to be as fast as someone else, or as fit as another person, but everyone has strengths and weaknesses. You will be happier with more success if you focus on your improvements instead of trying to run or train like someone else. I now repeat the power phrase, “Run your own race.” When I am in a race to remind myself that there are many ways to run, and I need to do the one that fits my style.

Don’t judge a runner by the exterior. A lot of running depends on how much grit and heart someone has. Runners come in all shapes, sizes, and ages, and you never know which ones are going to crush the race. We go to a race every year where you complete as many one-mile loops as you can in 48 hours. Every year, one of the ladies reads a book while she walks. I heard two young men making fun of her, and I hope they checked the results after the race because she covered 102 miles! Every one has different ways to arrive at the goal.

Running is therapy. If you doubt this, go to any race and talk to the people around you. Most runners have a story and most of them are inspiring. At a recent ultra we were in hour 10 and I asked a young man how he was doing. He replied, “I am so glad to be here.” I thought to myself, “Oh, he has a story.” Unfortunately, I couldn’t keep up with him to hear it.

Runners use running to prove they are stronger than a challenge they face, or as an outlet to beat the challenge. It is a positive way to fight the mental roadblocks.

Rest is maintenance not laziness. I used to think I needed to train every day until I realized that my days off made me stronger. Rest should be a part of every program.

You are stronger than you think. Running has taught me how resilient the body can be. My ultra coach told me, “Jen, when you hit a wall, don’t give up. Sit down and let your body recover. You will come back stronger. It is amazing to see what you can do. Running allows you to keep pushing further.

Running teaches you about balance. Your best runs are when your mind and body are working together. If your mind believes you can achieve something, the body will follow. Running is a way for me to use my body to reset my mental health.

Runners are outstanding people. Creating community is one of the keys to living longer, and the running community is accepting and encouraging. Your social life will improve with running.

If you run, you are a real runner. I have heard that expression many times. What is a real runner? Everyone has a different concept of the answer to that question, so don’t worry about it. If you run, you are a runner.

Running helps you to know your body better. You learn so much about how your body works when you run. You will learn about how fast you can go, when you need to hydrate, what foods work best for you, and many other things.

Well, those are a few things I have learned while out running. What lessons has running taught you?

Posted on

The Warning Signs Your Body Sends

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

                                The Warning Signs Your Body Sends

Our bodies are amazing machines that are constantly repairing themselves. They often need our help, so they are sending us signals that things are going great or that something might be wrong. Many of the signs are easy to spot, but we are so busy we often miss them. Here are a few symptoms that are ways for your body to catch your attention.

  • Pain and discomfort are part of your body’s alarm system. The pain might be sharp, dull, burning, or pulsating, and it hints at different issues. A sore throat is often a precursor to something else. When I was run down, I would have a mild sore throat. It was my body’s warning system to slow down and take care of myself. When I did that, the sore throat would go away. If I ignored it and kept pushing, I would be sick within three days.
  •  Muscle aches could mean strain, overuse, dehydration, and illness.
  • A fever usually indicates that the body is fighting infection. Chills is your body trying to warm itself.
  • Changes in appetite, nausea, constipation, and diarrhea signals issues in your stomach that could be caused by certain foods, dehydration, and other factors.
  • Fatigue can mean your body is overworked, lacking nutrients, or dehydrated. Certain medications can cause fatigue.
  • Changes in heart rate can signal stress or heart or lung problems.
  • Cognitive changes including brain fog and mood swings can be from inflammation, infections, or allergies.
  • Frequent headaches can be from dehydration, stress, or eye strain.
  • Bad breath can be a sign of a gut imbalance.
  • Dry mouth can be from dehydration, medication, anxiety, and breathing through the mouth.
  • Bleeding gums can be caused by a vitamin c deficiency or gum disease.
  • Acne can be from a hormonal imbalance or excess sugar or dairy intake.
  • Yellow skin or eyes could be a liver or gall bladder problem.
  • Dry skin or eczema can be from dehydration or allergies.
  • Hair loss could be caused by hormonal imbalance, a thyroid, or iron deficiency.
  • Cold hands and feet can be from poor circulation, low thyroid function, or anemia.
  • Puffy eyes are a sign of water retention, allergies, poor sleep, or high salt intake.

All of these symptoms are only possibilities, and there are many more ways to describe what is happening in your body. You know yourself better than anyone else. If you feel as if something is not quite right, visit your doctor and take care of it. Also, remember that rest is a form of maintenance.

Some traits are signs that your body is in balance. Here are a few positive messages your body is sending.  

  • Clear, glowing skin can mean you are hydrating well, and your hormones are in balance.
  • Strong, shiny hair is a sign of adequate protein, and iron.
  • Smooth nails without ridges or spots is a sign of good minerals and vitamins in your body.
Posted on

How to Handle Holiday Stressors

How to Handle Holiday Stressors

The holidays should be a time we look forward to, but this time of the year comes with a fair amount of stress. The stressors can come together to create a perfect storm that can leave us tired. Here are a few of the stressors and some ideas to handle them.

The expectations. Whenever you bring a family together, you bring all their expectations with them. Be direct with the family and make a plan. Ask for the expectations. What does each person look forward to during the holidays? Who is hosting the party?  Divide the tasks so one person doesn’t end up doing all the work.

Hidden stressors. You can stress out enough worrying about planning, but there are stressors beyond that. What if certain members of the family don’t get along? The tension can be difficult to navigate. We might worry about how much money is being spent, or if the family will enjoy the festivities.

Go into the holidays hoping for the best. Worry is wasted energy, so don’t create bad scenarios that might not happen. Ask others to pitch in with expenses.

When chaos reigns. Children running through the house screaming, Aunt Olga who asks you again when you are having children, and Uncle Bart who always has five too many drinks can ruin any holiday. Be clear about the boundaries you want to create and have some help enforcing them.

I hope you find a way to handle the holiday stressors, and that your holidays are full of blessings.

Posted on

Moments That Mattered as a Parent

I know the power of sharing experiences. We often feel that we are alone in our struggles, and as parents, we frequently ask ourselves if we made the right decision. Hearing the experiences of other parents is helpful, whether those experiences reinforce the feeling that we did something right, offer us alternatives for next time, or help us laugh at situations. I am going to pose some questions, give you my response, and encourage you to respond as well, either in the comments, through a discussion with others, or only in your thoughts.

What were some of your sweetest moments as a parent?

  • I loved it when my babies fell asleep on my chest. Even though there were a million things I should do while they were sleeping, I knew these moments were special.
  • Each child developed special interests, and I enjoyed seeing how happy they were when they were doing them. My oldest likes to travel, the middle child loves bugs and photography, and the youngest loved going to a local lake with a net and bowl to catch baby turtles and salamanders.
  • When I would read to them at night, I would start to fall asleep, and they would say, “Mommy, you need to go to bed!”
  • On my 60th birthday, my family gave me a party, and my children told me why they were thankful I was their parent. Considering they told me many times that I was ruining their lives, I appreciated their words.

What were some of your hardest moments as a parent?

  • Sometimes I knew that discipline was the right thing to do, but it was so hard to do. I knew I had to do it, though, because they needed to learn that actions have consequences.
  • Finding out when they had done something wrong was always tough.
  • Seeing all three struggle with depression was gut-wrenching.
  • Although I am thankful that all three are happy, it was hard to have them leave home to start their lives.
  • When my husband was battling addiction and traveling constantly to hide it. I felt like a single parent, and I felt very alone.

When did you sound or act like your parents?

  • I swore I would never worry as much as my mom, but I worry about everything.
  • I know I said, “After everything we have done for you!” at least once.

What do you think you have taught your children?

  • Resilience
  • Be kind
  • Do what’s right
  • Have a good work ethic.

It’s your turn now. How would you answer these questions?

Posted on

The Importance of Sharing Your Journey

You know all the struggles you have experienced, or those issues life has thrown your way that you are afraid to reveal? Being transparent about them could help a lot of people who are dealing with similar things. It makes them realize there is hope, and it helps them feel less alone. Your transparency will also help you know that many others are dealing with burdens just like yours.

I don’t usually post about my mental struggles because I don’t want to burden anyone, but a recent experience taught me how wrong I was. Three years ago, I had my first A-fib episode (irregular heartbeat). After many tests and a short time taking a beta blocker, I went two years without any episodes. Unfortunately, the episodes started again recently and became more frequent. I had to go back to my cardiologist, who prescribed a stronger medication and did more heart tests. On top of that, I received a call from my dermatologist saying that I needed another Mohs surgery on my face for skin cancer. It will be the third one in several months. At the same time, I managed to tear my meniscus, and as an avid runner, I know that means I cannot run until it heals. Throw a few personal struggles in, and I had the perfect storm.

I reached out on social media and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. The posts of love and positivity were wonderful, but there was another outcome to my post that made me realize it was the right thing to do. Friends started texting and calling to tell me about struggles they were also experiencing. They had been holding their feelings inside because they were afraid of judgment. They told me they were glad to be able to share with someone.

We often think we are the only ones experiencing something, and we wonder why we cannot find a solution. When we see someone else whom we admire fighting the same battle, it eases our feelings of inadequacy.

When you share your journey, you might have some insight from your experience that could help someone else. You could be much much-needed inspiration.