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5 Things That Changed My Life

Everyone has moments, events, decisions and people who have had a huge impact on our lives. What would you list as the people or events that have changed yours. Here are five of the biggest contributors to who I am today.

Running

When I was on sports teams I saw running as a conditioning tool, but I started running distance when I came back from study abroad in France twenty pounds heavier than when I left. I was surprised to find how much I enjoyed running around campus with friends, talking about life. As I began my teaching career it became my time alone when I could think and let stress drop away. As I began to run competitively, it gave me confidence and taught me about goals and never giving up. The running community has given me my friend group and runners are the best people.

My children

Children would be on my list of things you cannot imagine doing, but the end result is worth the sleep deprivation, drama, and general chaos. It doesn’t matter what advice you give a new parent because it won’t be enough. My children have made be live life fully. They pull out every emotion I have and I would give anything to spend time with them. They taught me so many things like present a united front because they will try to divide and conquer, do not engage in drama even when you want to scream, remain calm and serve out the proper consequences and bad behavior always should have consequences. Even though the correct discipline is hard for you to deliver at the time, they may thank you later. My oldest partied through her first year of college and had to do a fifth year. When it was time to pay for that fifth year, I told her I had agreed to pay for four years, so she would be paying for the fifth. She told me later that it taught her a good lesson, and I told her it was one of the hardest things I did.

My husband

My husband is a perfectionist, and we are polar opposites in every way. Being married to him made me a stronger person and taught me how to create boundaries.  I thought for years that my way of doing things was wrong, but eventually I realized I only do things differently. He helps me see things with a different perspective.

Travel

Travel changed my life. I was able to go to France during my junior year in college. I discovered that travel is an interactive classroom. I learned about a different culture and way of life. I visited ancient monuments and couldn’t believe I was walking on stairs created in the Middle Ages. It created a love of seeing different cultures and has caused me to travel extensively and return to France often. I have done my best to make my children global citizens.

Reading

I have always loved to read. It is an escape for me and I enjoy reading everything except horror. When I was in middle school, I struggled socially and reading was where I could find some joy.   

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A Few Changes That Saved My Running

I have always loved to run, but age threw up a few challenges for me that I have struggled to navigate. The whole process has taught me the importance of being flexible and looking for alternative ways to meet goals.

When I was 55, I strained my knee badly enough to need physical therapy and to be sidelined from running for six weeks. When I started back running, I was so afraid of hurting my knee that it took me several more weeks to start running normally. As I left the orthopedist’s office, he told me my distance running was done. In the next few years, I started running ultramarathons which is anything longer than 26.2. The physical therapy had taught me the importance of stretching and strength training, but I was still making the mistake of only running without adding cross training or rest days.

At 63, I tore my meniscus and developed an irregular heartbeat which required heart medicine which left me exhausted and unmotivated. Gradually I lost any motivation to run, and I began long walks instead. My weight steadily increased and I developed a ring of pudge around my middle. I decided it was time for a change.

I went to my cardiologist and told him about the fatigue. He changed my medication and my energy is back. I decided to raise my pulse into my cardio zone each day for at least an hour. One day I would run/walk and the next day I would go to the gym and do the Stairmaster and the elliptical. I would also do more strength training, focusing on my knees.

The weight gradually came off and at the moment I have lost seven pounds. It was not easy getting back into running shape, but I am becoming stronger and I can run more than I walk. I also changed my diet to be mostly protein, fruits and vegetables. I do not eat much bread or sweets.

The small changes I have made have made a difference in both my mental and physical health. If you have a similar situation, I would encourage you to not give up. Find a way that works for you to achieve the results you need.

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What I Learned from Travel

When I was growing up my family didn’t travel much because my dad worked long hours and there wasn’t a lot of extra money. Travel for us was going to Florida to visit my grandmother. She lived in a tiny town called Interlachen. Even a trip to a small town with family taught me a few things.

On one trip, my sister and I discovered a lake not far from my grandmother’s house. There was a man fishing there and I asked him if it was alright to swim in the lake. He said, “There’s a few gators in there, but they won’t bother you.” Lesson #1 was don’t listen to all advice. I also learned about the variety of religion in the South. I was raised in the North where you were either Catholic or Protestant, but I discovered the Baptists in my grandmother’s town. I was very interested in attending a church service, but my mom refused. Lesson #2 was my mother was not comfortable outside of her Catholic faith.

In college, travel opened my world. I had a chance to do my junior year in France and that year changed my life. I realized that travel provides you with an interactive classroom. I saw the history behind monuments and walked stairs that had been used since the Middle Ages. It taught me humility to know what a small part I was playing in the grand scheme of things. My French home had been occupied by two Germans during World War II. Madame was expected to cook and clean for them and she worried every day that her son would be home from law school before the curfew. There was still the impression in the front yard where a trench had been dug to stay in during a bomb attack. We heard stories from the people who had lived through the horror of the war.  

I was able to see the cultural differences and understand a lifestyle more because of that culture and history. That year gave me perspective on the different ways people think and on what matters in life. The French have their priorities figured out.

I made connections by interacting with people and I came away with amazing experiences and memories.

When I became a French teacher, I wanted to bring both my family and my students to experience the same things that I did. I wanted to show people that there is a world full of beauty, diversity, and culture that needs to be explored. We can understand each other a little better when we try to understand where people come from.  

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Relieving College Freshman Anxiety

I taught for 40 years and during that time I spent time in both high school and college classrooms. Teaching high school allowed me to see the anxiety of the seniors who were worried that they were not ready for the transition to college. Being in the college classroom helped me convince them that they would be fine.

College is different from secondary school, and it is a transition, but if a student goes in knowing how to deal with college life it can help with anxiety.

My granddaughter is moving into her college tomorrow and she is very nervous. She graduated third in her class so academics shouldn’t be a worry, but she doesn’t know what to expect, and the unknown can be scary. I am also nervous because I wish I had given her more pearls of wisdom before she is on her own. She came over today for her grandfather to change her oil and I thought about teaching her some self-defense techniques and why didn’t I do that years ago?

She had so many questions about college that I thought it would help her and others if I wrote down some ways to alleviate the anxiety of entering college. I hope this helps.

What you can expect and how to manage it.

Greater independence and responsibility.

You are now in charge of your success. Your parents and your teachers will not give you constant reminders to do your work. You are responsible to hand in your work on time, keep track of assignments, manage your time, and study consistently instead of doing it all in one night.

Self-directed learning. Your teacher will be a guide, but it is your responsibility to study and learn. You can’t learn everything in class. You have to do some independent learning.

Critical thinking

College involves more critical thinking, brainstorming and debate. It won’t only be about filling in facts.

Time management   use a calendar and write down all your important dates. Decide when you need to study or work on projects.

Manage finances   create and follow a budget/understand scholarships/look for job opportunities. Use your resources for expenses like books. You do not have to buy new books. You can rent though Amazon or buy used through your school bookstore, Amazon or Thrift books.

Taking care of yourself Make sure you are sleeping and eating well. Do some exercise to relieve stress.

Greater social opportunities You will meet people from a variety of social backgrounds, so join clubs and student organizations.

Learning to advocate You will need to stand up for yourself. Don’t hesitate to talk with professors in a respectful way if there is a problem. Seek resources if you need them.

Practical advice

Walk your class schedule/read your course syllabus/where are important resources

In each class make at least one friend and exchange contact info

Start assignments early

Break large projects into smaller tasks/study consistently/look for student discounts/take care of yourself

Remember everyone is adjusting, after your first week you will feel like a veteran. Please remember though that college is a balance between academic success and social interaction. I used to tell my students that the train was leaving the station on day one, so you need to jump on board then and not a week later because college classes tend to move at a faster pace.

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Why The Glass on The Counter Matters

When my daughters come to visit, they always leave a half full glass of water on the kitchen counter. I look for it every time I come back after saying goodbye to them. The glass is always there. I mention this not because I want to complain about them not picking up, but because every time I see that glass it carries some important reminders.

First, it reminds me of them. They both choose glasses that express their personality. My oldest is high energy and she chooses a brightly colored glass. She leaves the glass because she is too focused on what she is doing next to focus on putting away her glass. The youngest is the opposite and enjoys taking some time to relax and be surrounded by family. Her glass always has something positive on it like bee happy. She leaves the glass because she knows I will gladly pick up after her every time she visits.

The glass is also a reminder of how blessed I am that they still come home. They both visit regularly, and even after all the time they have been on their own, I am sad each time they leave. The glass tells me every time they will be back.

The glass reminds me of the important conversations we have in the kitchen. My oldest tells me about the million projects she is doing as well as the plans she has for many more. The youngest tells me funny stories from work, as well as the crazy things her cats are doing.

The glass is a reminder of the importance of family and spending time together. The laughter we share will stay with me long after I put away the glass.

The glass is also a reminder of how important it is to slow down long enough to enjoy the moments in life that really count. I will keep being grateful for the glasses left behind and everything they represent.

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The dos and don’ts of running

Running has saved me in so many ways. It has helped keep me healthy both physically and mentally. In my forty plus years of running, I have learned many lessons and I continue to learn. I would love to share with you what I know so far.

Listen to the veterans.

Everyone at races can teach you something, but the veteran runners can impart wisdom. Head for the man and woman who looks the oldest and ask your questions. They know things, and the stories alone are worth your time.

Discover your pace.

Finding the pace that works for you can save your run just as the wrong pace can cause issues. The usual problems come at the beginning of a race when you start too fast and then burn out at mile two.

Don’t judge anyone’s ability by appearance.

Runners come in all shapes, sizes, and ages, and appearance does not give an accurate depiction of someone’s ability.

Talk to everyone.

Everyone can teach you something and the stories you will hear are inspirational. My best friends are runners I met at races. It is the best place to meet people.

Listen to your body

Your body will give you instructions, you only have to listen. It’s best to listen to the signals you are sent because if you don’t you may end up facing the consequences.

Know that one bad run does not ruin you

I am guilty of thinking my running days are over after one bad run, but everyone has those days when you might want to run, but your body has other ideas.

Don’t compare yourself to others

There will always be people who are faster, slower, fitter, and you will ask why you cannot be as cool, but making comparisons is a losing game. Show up and do your best and enjoy the adventure.

Run your own race

When you stop worrying about what someone else will do and start working on making yourself better, the pieces start to fall into place. Do what you need to run well.

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How Changing My Routine Saved Me

Running has always been a passion for me that has saved me in so many ways. When I run I feel free. I can leave my problems behind as the miles fly by. It has kept me strong physically, and it has introduced me to the running community which is the best group of people you can meet. I can give you a million reasons why I should never stop running, but two years ago I allowed two events to stop me.

I had been having issues with my knees. I strained my left knee badly, then after that healed, I tore my meniscus in my right knee. After that, both knees took turns feeling cranky. At the same time, I had an AFIB attack which lead to medication to keep my heart’s rhythm under control. The medication sapped my energy and my motivation. I didn’t feel like running anymore. I gained weight and acquired a tire of pudge around my middle.

The breaking point came after an ultramarathon several months ago. I wanted to do my first 100 miles, but at 50 miles I quit because I didn’t have the motivation to keep going. After the race I turned to my husband and said, “This isn’t working. I have to make some changes.” He said, “What are we going to do?”

My first step was going to my cardiologist and asking if there was any other medication that wouldn’t make me so tired. His reply surprised me. “No problem. There is a better one.” I asked him why he hadn’t given me that one to begin with and he told me he didn’t think I would want it because it is more expensive. So, I started the new medication, and the fatigue is not as bad.

The next step was changing my training routine. I wanted to stay in my cardio zone every day for as close to an hour as I could, but I was not going to do the same thing every day. I wanted to protect and strengthen my knees and also get back in running shape. One day I do basic strength training and I run. The next day, I do strength training with machines, I do twenty minutes on the stair climber, and thirty minutes on the elliptical. I ride my bike and swim almost every day.

Let me say that getting back into running shape at 68 is more difficult than it was at 30. I used a growth mentality to make it. I kept telling myself that I wasn’t in running shape yet, but if I kept working hard, I would get there. There were a few days that I wasn’t sure that was true.

Our neighborhood road is 1/10 of a mile. People might think that running up and down that would be boring, but it is not. Neighbors come out to talk with me, children yell, “Hey, Miss Jen!”, and I have come face to face with some of our woodland creatures more than once. The best part though is how easy it is to train there. When I first started, I could only run a few feet before I had to walk. Little by little I could run farther and now I can run continuously without walking. Yesterday, I kept saying thank you for allowing me to still do something I love.

Nutrition plays a big role in our health, so here is what I normally eat. I start the day with a bowl of yogurt, and I stir in half a banana and some blueberries and drizzle it all with honey. I have protein for lunch with some vegetables. I usually choose chicken or eggs for my protein. If I’m hungry at 3, I have a snack, but I usually try to make it until dinner. I have protein and vegetables for dinner.

Here are the results so far.

I have lost five pounds in two months.

My knees are stronger.

I can run without pain.

I did my first 100K last week and I felt amazing.

My stomach pudge is gradually diminishing.

My mental health is better. I was depressed because I couldn’t run. When I gradually came back, I was even more grateful than normal.

My frustration caused me to see the need for a reset. Don’t give up when times are rough. Figure out a different way to approach it.

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Taking Time to Heal

On a regular day, we interact with all kinds of personalities, we solve problems, we are creative and innovative and by the end of the day it can sometimes feel as if we have been through a battle. There has to be some time to recover both physically and mentally from our daily struggle.

I love being around people and as a teacher I am often surrounded by a certain amount of chaos. I spend the day hearing my name called a million times and I love it, but when I come home, I need some quiet. I love the peacefulness when there is no noise, no one who needs me, and no need to speak.

We need quiet time to process everything we have experienced during the day. One of my favorite ways to renew is to go out on our porch and listen to the sounds of the neighborhood. It is a time when I don’t have to answer a question or solve a problem. I can renew in other ways as well whether I take a walk, read, write, cook, or do something else that is soothing. When I make this renewal a regular practice, it changes my attitude towards everything else I do.

Being in nature can be restorative. I love being outside because it always seems to energize and calm me at the same time. It is difficult to feel anxious when we are surrounded by such beauty. Taking a walk or a bike ride or sitting outside will lift your spirits.

Reduce the stimulation around you for at least thirty minutes each day. Put your phone away, turn off any other technology and give yourself some time to disconnect from technology and reconnect with yourself.

On the occasional bad day, we all need some time to recover from mistakes we made or unkind words that may have been said. Use positive self-talk, give yourself some grace, learn from any mistakes, and apologize when it is necessary.

We also need to take time to heal our soul. Life can become so busy that we forget how important it is to grow spiritually. We need time to read the bible, worship and pray.

Music can be a great way to heal. Find your favorite music and relax and listen. On a recent trip with two friends, we listened to the music we had grown up with and swapped funny stories from our childhood.

Reading is another way to destress. I can become completely lost in a story and forget about time as I follow the characters through the plot. I can leave my reality for a short time and immerse myself in someone else’s adventure.

Spending time with animals has always been a great way to decompress for me. Animals love you completely and they crave spending time with you. Our next-door neighbor has a dog that acts as if he is over the moon to see you to the point that he will start to howl, and even though I know he acts that way to almost everyone, it still lifts my spirits.

Cooking has always been a way to relax for me even though I am not a very good cook. There is something comforting about being in the kitchen where we produce and consume the food we need to survive. Have you ever noticed that when you have guests over, everyone gravitates to the kitchen?

Sometimes the best answer to being worn out mentally and physically is to curl up and catch up on sleep. A good nap on a rainy day can make you forget any troubles you may have.

Practicing gratitude is an important exercise in healing. List all the things you are thankful for, and any problems you encountered during the day start to fade away. Realizing all of your blessings instead of focusing on burdens will make you feel better.

My friends will not think I wrote this unless I mention that running for me is the ultimate escape. When I am running, I feel such a sense of peace, as if any stress is just falling off behind me. I can work out problems, generate ideas or simply listen to music. Running is what I turn to first when my emotions are out of balance. If running is not your sport, choose anything that is an active activity.

Find the activities that you need that will help you relax, reflect, and renew. It does not matter what the activity is if it is one that will help you when you take time to heal.

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How a Growth Mindset Can Crush Your Goals

A growth mindset is when you realize you are not at the level where you want to be, but you maintain the attitude that you will eventually get there. Add the word yet to anything that falls short of your goals. An example would be instead of saying I cannot do 5 pushups, say I cannot do five pushups yet. There is a positive shift that says you might not be there yet, but you will be. It helps you to be patient in the knowledge that in time you can crush your goals.

Several months ago, I realized it was time to make some changes. I have been an avid runner all my life, but in the last year a knee injury caused me to stop running. I also was struggling with fatigue and a lack of motivation because I was on a beta blocker for AFIB. Until this point if I had an injury, I would be fighting back so I could run as soon as possible, but I didn’t have any energy and looking back I think I was depressed. All of this caused a domino effect where I lost my running strength, gained weight, stepped back from strength training and ended up with a pudge around my middle that I call my tire.

The breaking point came at an ultra-marathon where I did not do as well as I hoped. I turned to my husband and said, “This isn’t working, it’s time for a change.”   I decided to start running again but every other day and on the non-run days I would go to the gym and do the cardio machines. I knew I wouldn’t see results immediately, but I kept reminding myself that the end result would be work staying consistent and working hard.

Seeing results with my running was a very slow process. I wouldn’t let myself say anything negative but more than once I watched people running with ease and wondered if I would ever be able to do it again. I kept trying to walk less and run more and then today I went out and ran without feeling like it was a chore. I was so grateful I almost cried. I have lost four pounds by keeping my pulse in my cardio zone every day and I am watching the pudge disappear.

I hope whatever your goal is you will make a plan, implement it consistently, give yourself grace, be patient, and believe that you can crush any goal you attempt.

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Advice for My Grandson

My grandson recently turned five. That means he has left the unfettered bliss of toddlerhood and graduated towards responsibilities and expectations. Kindergarten looms on the horizon and before I know it his friends will be so much more important to him than I am. As he heads off towards a new era, what advice would I offer him? Here are a few pearls of wisdom I hope would help him.

  • Never forget how loved you are. Wear it like armor when anyone is hateful and doesn’t see your light.
  • Always be kind to others.
  • Avoid confrontation but defend yourself when needed.
  • Read as much as possible.
  • Play in the rain unless there is thunder then run inside.
  • Soak up summer, swim, ride bikes, watch fireflies, and stay outside past dark.
  • Guard your peace.
  • Imperfection is interesting.
  • Don’t make comparisons.
  • Be transparent.
  • Listen fully.
  • Make health a priority.
  • You are responsible for your happiness.
  • Let others solve their issues.
  • Don’t chase after someone who doesn’t want to be chased.
  • Don’t wait until the perfect time.
  • You have value.
  • Avoid toxicity.
  • Failure teaches you more.
  • Fear is a dream killer.
  • Say no more without feeling guilty.
  • See the value in doing nothing.
  • Love unconditionally.
  • Follow your dreams and passions.
  • Block out negativity.
  • Follow the light.
  • Have a positive attitude.
  • Laugh often
  • Help people.
  • Always have an animal.