Most of my writing is positive self help advice on running, parenting and life.
Author: jenbonn
I am a former French teacher who was in the classroom for 40 years. During that time, I was always trying to find time to write, and I now do it full-time while also tutoring in French. I am an avid runner and reader. Most of my writing is about running, writing, and positivity as well as self-help. I have five books, 101 Tips to Lighten Your Burden, What I Hope for You, A Grandmother's Wishes, Parker and Grandpa John, Parker John and Bandit, and The Healing Power of Running.
If you try to make your writing perfect from your first sentence, you may end up blocking your creativity. Let your writing flow with abandon knowing you can go back and polish your writing later.
Have you ever struggled with your writing to the point it feels like you are moving through cement? If I worry too much about every word right out of the gate, I begin to question the value of what I am writing. If I give myself space to make some mistakes, it relaxes me and gives me permission to be creative.
I am writing a middle school reader and instead of having a firm outline of what I wanted to happen, I started with a rough shell. Because I left the creative doors open, I am continually surprised by the paths where the book is leading me. I’ll go back later and add more description, strengthen verbs, slash extra vocabulary and clean up the grammar.
The best writing I do is the kind that makes me think, is unexpected, and becomes fun to explore.
Writing is like a lump of clay. You can continue to mold it until you are happy with the final product.
The next time you sit down to write, let the words flow and let perfection go. You might be surprised how good the result might be.
When it comes to weight loss the first thing we need to realize is that one program is not the answer for everyone. What works for you might be a disaster for me, so how do you figure out what will be the healthiest, most successful way for you to lose weight? Here are a few things to consider.
What is your reason to lose weight? This is crucial because if you don’t have the right motivation your success is doomed. Remember your why by posting pictures or other forms of motivation where you will see them. Here are a few reasons you want to be at a healthy weight.
A healthy weight lowers your risk of high blood pressure, high cholesterol, heart disease, and stroke.
Excess belly fat is linked to cardiovascular problems.
Extra weight can increase your risk of type 2 diabetes.
Losing weight will decrease stress on your joints
Healthy weight improves your sleep.
Everyday activities will feel easier.
You may have more self-confidence.
Physical activity boosts your mental health.
What weight loss program will fit into your lifestyle? You need to pick a program that allows you to find success. Pick something you know will work for you, not something that works for someone else.
Start small and build on success. Keep your goals reachable. If you try to do too much too soon you may become discouraged and give up.
Keep pivoting. You might not find what works for you right away, but that doesn’t mean you are doomed for failure, it only means you need to regroup and find another plan.
Give yourself grace. We all have days when the cream cheese frosted cupcake is the best option. Get back on the healthy train tomorrow. Healthy living doesn’t mean we can’t eat what we love, it only means we have to find some balance.
Keep the temptation out of the house. I have certain foods that I won’t buy because I cannot control myself. My guilty pleasures are frosted animal crackers and Doritos. Whatever you do, do not go find the frosted animal crackers. You will be lost after the first bite.
Positive Thoughts and Affirmations to Heal and Strenthen
We hear all the time that our thoughts and words have the power to change us. When you tell yourself something enough you will begin to believe it. It’s also true that if other people say something about you enough you may begin to believe it, but you can choose what you believe because you know yourself better than anyone else.
If you agree that you will begin to believe what you repeat, why wouldn’t you start to channel words of strength and happiness? Kick those negative words to the curb because they are not helping you in any way.
Here is a list of positive thoughts and affirmations. Pick the ones who will help you the most and start saying them over and over until you believe them. You can print them out as cards and place them around your house as reminders. Be ready for a positive change because your words are powerful.
I will focus on the blessings in my life
I am grateful for all the good things in my life
I choose to let go of negativity and guard my peace.
My positive attitude will attract positive outcomes.
I will foster an attitude of kindness and understanding.
I am confident that good things are on their way.
I deserve to practice self-care and engage in activities that bring me joy.
I attract success and opportunities with my positive mindset and actions.
Each day is full of possibilities and adventures.
I will find my own joy and search for inspiration.
Every failure is a chance to learn and come back stronger.
I am resilient and capable of surviving challenges.
I am stronger than____(fill in the blank)
I am worthy of success and happiness.
I am enough the way I am.
My imperfections make me more interesting.
I attract positive energy. My voice and opinions matter.
I have the power to create the life I want. I am stronger than my fears.
Nick Jonas’ song Gut Punch hit me hard, because I can be hard on myself as well. When you see someone who seems to have it all struggling with the negative thoughts most of us have it drives home the fact that we all have to work harder on our intrusive thoughts and be kinder to ourselves.
I have struggled with those thoughts my whole life, but along the way I have developed a few tricks to switch my thinking from negative to positive. Here are ten that work for me.
Remember who you are. Don’t be ashamed of your accomplishments. What some might call bragging could inspire others, and those accomplishments don’t have to be awards and accolades. It could be kindness, grit, or being a good friend. When you start to tear yourself down, start going through the list of what makes you special.
Realize someone else might need to see a good role model, so spread positivity being who you are.
Find laughter through funny moments on screens, laughter with friends, or remembering funny memories.
Adopt an attitude. Decide today is not the day your thoughts are going to take control of you. Choose to give yourself grace.
Make a mantra. Have a positive sentence about yourself that you can repeat until you believe it. An example is, strong, smart, kind.
Replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
Have a growth mentality. You might not know how to do something today, but you will learn.
Know you limit yourself with negative thoughts. I can’t move forward with defeating thoughts.
Take time every day to shut off the noise. Heal, take a break, and find the quiet.
Find what soothes you. Music, creative outlets, running, walking, swimming, watching movies, and gardening are all possibilities.
Since I have been vending my books at the local artisan market I hear this question almost every week. Here are some of the comments I hear.
“I have an idea for a book, but I’m not sure it’s good enough.”
“I started to write a children’s book, but I don’t know where to go from here.”
“I would like to be a writer, but where do I start?”
“What if I spend all that time, but fail at being a writer?”
“I have written a whole series, but no one would want to read it.”
“You don’t make any money being a writer.”
All of these comments and questions have something in common. They are all based in fear. You might be afraid of judgment, or failure, but that fear is holding you back from your dream, your passion, and a great form of expression and escape.
So, the answer to the question what do you have to do to be a writer is you have to be fearless and you have to start writing. Stop worrying about the haters and the possible negatives and start switching your thoughts. Instead of saying, “What if I fail?” switch it to, “What if I succeed?” Instead of saying, “No one will read this.” Switch it to, “Maybe this could help someone.”
Don’t overthink it. I have a friend who has been telling me for three years that he was going to write a book. Today he told me he had three notebooks with notes and outlines. It’s a great idea to have a plan, but at some point, you have to end the preparation and implement the plan. You have to write.
Do you want to be a writer? Sit down and write then keep doing it until it becomes a habit and eventually you will realize that to be a successful writer you now have to add consistency and hard work, so what are you waiting for? Go write. The world might need your words.
There is a strange substance on your shoulder that smells like milk and you don’t care.
Multitasking is not a skill, it’s a necessity.
You keep wondering why there isn’t a this is what you do when guidebook for parents.
You are prepared for every possible disaster by carrying a wide variety of supplies including band aids, snacks, drinks, and at least one pack of wipes.
A darker side of your personality emerges when your child is bullied or mistreated in any way.
In your mind, your children’s needs are more important than yours.
You find yourself mesmerized watching a Disney movie only to discover your child has left the room.
When someone asks what you are reading you say Golden books.
A good night for you is when both you and the children go to bed early.
You plan an in-home movie with a few other parents, and you are all asleep on the floor by 9:30.
Dinner often consists of the quickest thing you can throw together.
Your toddler may have worn the same outfit multiple days.
One of the writing rules I hear often is a writer should have a plan before writing. This is a great idea because if the writer knows what comes next everything may flow better. I have found though that breaking a writing rule here and there can be magical. Let me explain by telling you about the book I am writing.
I want to continue to write different types of books and step out of my comfort zone so I can grow as a writer. I decided to write a middle grade reader, and I wanted it to be slightly biographical because my middle school years were rough. I wanted to use my experiences to talk about struggling with fitting in and finding an identity. I had a general idea of what I wanted to do in the book, but I had not written an outline or a plan. I had no idea that the book would write itself and I continue to be amazed at the paths it is taking me down.
The story takes place in the town where I grew up. Until I started writing this story I didn’t think about all the complexities within this small town. I knew I wanted to talk about the social division and what it is like for a young girl to be in a private school setting when her social status is drastically different from the other students, but suddenly I was writing about the spiritual importance because of the link with the Indian tribe that was present there.
The main character loves going to the local library that looks more like a stone castle than a library. She finds an escape in reading just as I did, and she learns more about herself through the kind librarian and what lives in the creepy basement.
There are some days that I wish I had a clear plan because nothing is coming to my mind, but there are other days when hours go by as new ideas consume me. This book is taking me longer than normal, but the twists and turns of the journey are fascinating.
Once you publish your books, several online book sites offer an author page, but it is up to you to set it up. The two that I use are on Amazon and Goodreads. Let me show you how each one works.
Amazon walks you through the setup and it is very easy. You set up a profile, and you add your books as you publish new ones. When I was new to publishing my publisher would text me and say, “Jennifer, you have to claim your book on Amazon!”
Goodreads
Goodreads is very similar but offers some very accessible writing resources. Set up a profile and add your books as you publish. Goodreads offers authors chances to be more interactive with readers. You will also receive notices about helpful groups to join.
The author pages are important because it is another way to promote yourself and put your name out there in front of the readers.
Challenges come in many forms, they can be financial, mental, or involve support. My two biggest challenges are mental and support based. I never think what I have written is good enough, so I often become stuck in the middle of a piece while I ask myself, “What’s the point in spending all this time if no one will like it?” What you must realize though is how powerful words are and the words you are writing might be what someone needs. What if you change everything for someone because of what you have written? You never know if you do not try. I remember when I was teaching, I had a student who always worked so hard. The class turned in a weekly journal, and once I wrote how proud I was of her and how much I admired her work ethic. I did not think anything else about it until the day the girl graduated and she came to find me after the ceremony. She said, “I wanted to tell you how much those words meant to me. I was struggling and you made me feel special.” So, you never know if your writing will stink or make a difference, but you should do it anyway.
A lack of support from family is a challenge for me. No one in my family enjoys any of my passions. I have always loved to run, but the rest of my family says the only time they will run is if something is chasing them. While I have a library in my bedroom and a stack of books I am currently reading, no one in my family is a reader. I read to my children when they were little and gifted them books until my oldest told me she didn’t want any more books. I know they have to find their own passions, but I would love to be able to talk to them about my writing without seeing their eyes glaze over. I am blessed that I have found support with several friends who are always there for me as well as the support I receive from my publisher and the writing groups I have joined.
My financial status can be a challenge since I do not yet make a windfall with my writing. My expenses include paying for the illustrator for each children’s book, paying for each market when I vend my books, and paying to have personal copies of my books printed. I know that I will find a way to make my writing more profitable eventually, but it can be frustrating when I want to start a new project, but I cannot afford to see it through.
See failure as a chance to grow, not a reason to stop. Failure is never much fun, but most of the time it is a great teacher. Instead of being frustrated because you were not successful the first time, regroup and use the failure to be better.
Keep a sense of humor. This is important in anything you do. When you start to feel like everything is going wrong, you have a choice to have a pity party or see the humorous side of your situation and start to figure out plan B. Plan B is more productive. Laughter can make most things seem better. One of my rejection letters from an editor started very sweetly, telling me she had enjoyed my article, and there were some great aspects to it, but then something snapped, and she started to rant about how I needed to experience the school of hard knocks before I found success, success wasn’t just handed to everybody, and it continued from there. I imagined an overworked editor who was trying to be encouraging to a writer, and then she snapped and needed to vent. I used that e-mail to not take rejections too seriously.
Don’t take rejections personally. As a writer, you will receive countless rejections, and sometimes they sting. You will have rejections that offer constructive criticism and others that are not kind. Remember that the rejection is one person’s opinion.
Know your worth. Your writing could change someone’s life. Remember that when others do not support your writing or try to quiet your voice. You do not have to write for free unless you want to, and you should not hesitate to ask a fair price for your work.
Regroup-reflect-reset. Every writer has moments when she feels like what she is doing is not working or that your writing needs a refresh. Instead of feeling frustrated, take some time to reconsider your approach and brainstorm some different ideas. Doing something different can boost your motivation.
Try is a failure verb. The editor for my first book gave me pure wisdom when he told me to stop using the verb try. He said, “Jen, try is a failure verb. It is weak. Use strong verbs.
Seclude yourself from time to time. We all occasionally find ourselves pulled in a million different directions. Everyone wants our time and energy, so we often need to claim our private time and to do that you might have to go somewhere like a library or a coffee house to hide. Let someone know you will return soon.
Jennifer’s writing 