I had my daughter Kait when I was forty-three. When I was deciding whether to have one more child, everyone told me it was a bad idea. I heard statements like “You are too old, why would you want another child at a time when you can have some independence?” I’m so glad I did not listen to those voices because Kait has been such a blessing. I have learned some important life lessons from her. Let me share a few.

Priorities

Before Kait was born, I had become too caught up in my job. When Kait was born, I had to slow down a little, and I realized that my two teenagers and my husband needed as much of my time as my new baby did.

Controlling time

I have always been time obsessed. I never think I have enough time, so I’m always trying to do three things at once. Kait would ask if we could do something, and I would say, “If we have time.” She would always answer, “Mommy, we have all day.” I use those words now if I start to feel the day slip away from me.

The meaning of anxiety

Kait has attention deficit disorder, but her main challenge comes from anxiety. I never really understood until the day I had her come to my school to spend the day, so she would be more comfortable when she attended the following year. We were in the cafeteria, and I was showing her what to do. She said, “What if I don’t do it right?” I said, “That’s o.k. someone will help you.” She was so nervous she started to shake. I know there are people who believe anxiety really isn’t a thing, but it can be debilitating.

Kindness

If I had to pick one adjective to describe Kait, it would be kind. She loves to help people, and she has made me rethink my judgment of someone when I think the person was hateful. She will give that look of disappointment and say, “Mom, you don’t know what she might be going through.”

Family values

Kait loves family first. She enjoys family dinners and anytime we can all be together. Her presents always involve showing her love for you.

I am grateful for all these lessons, and I’m sure there will be more.   

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